Sexual Assault

What is sexual assault/rape? Sexual assault can happen anywhere to women, men, and children. Sexual assault or Rape includes but is not limited to:

• Unwanted fondling, kissing, or sexual touching.
• Forcing a person to look at pornography or pose for sexual pictures
• Forcing a person to have oral sex.
• Rape or unwanted sexual intercourse
• Assaults are most often committed by someone the victim knows
• They happen in familiar settings
• Not all involve force. Threatening and forced inebriation so the victim cannot resist is also rape or sexual assault.

Rape and sexual assault are never the fault of the victim and it doesn’t matter what they have been doing or wearing.

There are measures that can be taken to avoid or prevent sexual assault and rape.

1. You always maintain the right to say “No.” Even in circumstances such as these:

• You have been kissing and making out.
• You have been drinking.
• You are wearing sexy clothing.
• You have had sex before.
• You said yes previously—then changed your mind.

2. Use caution and trust your instincts.

• Trust your instincts; they were given to you by a higher source. If you feel uncomfortable with someone, don’t go off alone with them.
• If you are unsure of someone suggest a meeting at a public place.

3. Be aware of different kinds of pressure. Rape is when someone forces you to have sex. That force can be:

• Not stopping when you say no.
• Threatening to hurt you.
• Physically holding you down.
• Using a weapon such as a knife or gun.
• Having sex with you when you’re to high or drunk to say no.
• Makes it seem like something worse will happen if you don’t give in.

4. Be clear about your limits.

• Clearly say “NO.” if you start feeling forced.
• If you don’t say no clearly, he or she may think you are OK with what is happening.
• Remember, if the person doesn’t listen to no, it’s not your fault.

5. Stay in charge.

• Staying in charge means saying what you want and knowing what you are doing.
• Avoid drinking and using drugs. They make it hard for you to stay in charge.
• Call a family member or a trusted friend to come pick you up if you are unsure of your safety.
• Always carry money for bus or cab fare.
• Remember, it is better to get into trouble for being somewhere you shouldn’t be than to get raped.

6. Watch out for danger signs.

• If a person does not listen to you at other times, he or she may not listen to you in a sexual setting.
• If someone sits or stands too close or stares you down, he or she may not respect your limits.
• If a person seems to like it if you are uncomfortable, he or she may not respect your limits.

7. If you’re afraid to say no.

• If you think saying no will make the situation worse, say you have to go to the bathroom. Call your dad or another male member of your family to come get you.
• It is OK to lie to protect yourself.

8. What if the person doesn’t listen to no?

• Say no again—loudly.
• Say, “Stop. This is rape.” By clearly telling the assailant that he/she is about to rape you, it may make him/her wake up and realize what they are about to do.

9. Ask yourself, is it safe to resist?

• Try to stay calm and decide what to do.
• Try to talk your way out or distract the attacker so you can get away.
• If you can, fight back. Push the attacker away—hard!
• Yell loudly. Yell Rape or Fire! Draw attention to what is happening. If you get free run to where there are other people.
• Sometimes it is more dangerous to fight back. You may decide it is safer to give in. It is still not your fault.

10. Get Help.

• If someone tries to rape you or if you have been raped, get help as soon as possible. Talk to a trusted friend or family member, contact your local rape crisis center or call the police. Or call RAINN—a free and confidential hotline for victims of sexual assault: 1-800-656-HOPE.
• Remember, if a person doesn’t listen to you, it’s not your fault.

When sexual assault or rape happens to you it is vital that you know what to do in response to the crime just committed against you.

• You are the victim and it is not your fault. This is so important to realize right away. Most rapes go unreported because of a feeling of guilt or responsibility or shame. Do not feel responsible. You were attacked.
• Call the police while your attacker is still in the area, and while their appearance is still clear in your mind.
• The police will know what to do from there but in case they leave you unsure of what to do next. Go to the hospital. The hospital will do a rape kit on you and will be able to tell if you have any injuries related to the incident. Do not shower before you go to the hospital. The hospital will also be able to remove DNA in order to better prosecute your attacker.
• Press charges against your attacker. If you don’t, that person will be free to rape someone else. We need to get these sexual predators off the streets; you can do your part by pressing charges.
• Seek counseling to deal with any negative emotions you may be feeling after the rape.