Crushed to a Fragrance

Memories

Childhood glimpses

Peace snatched

Turmoil of dark places

Mercifully covered up

By the Lord

Unable to torment

Daily life lived

Dark memories

Violence

Confusion

Abject fear

No desire--

To go back

No desire--

To look

No desire--

To discover

Blame

Familiar

Violent outbursts

Dark activity

Stemming wounds

Confusion

Child left

In the dark

It’s enough today

Wrestling darkness

Not knowing

Life survival

Untrained

Left to discover

Chasms by floundering

I cannot talk for myself

Lacking

No sense-- Of propriety

No sense-- Of value

No sense-- Of dignity

Day is grey

Day is dark

My heart

Unending anguish

Unending ache

Generations of

Cascading results

Forward

Pushing

Today

Tomorrow

The Innocent caught in

Crossfire

Ambition

Lust

Greed

All the same

Have things changed

No

All is at it was

Today

Infinitely worse tomorrow

What -- will my children become

What -- will they accomplish in oppressive darkness

When will the reign of the Pure One begin

Where will I be in it

Caught in the darkness

Clouds of depression

Oppression breaks

Snatching a glimpse light, A moment in time

What

Is this life I live

Have lived

Chapters

So many chapters

Chapters of sadness

Of pain

Of wounds

One more door yet to close

Are they truly closed

Can I truly go from one closed door to another

Without the old entering the new

Is there really new

Or

Is it just another

What

Is before me

Where does the road lead

Is there a destination

Do I want to know

Is the world any better then a millennia ago

Do I have any greater understanding

Have I learned from the struggles

The wounds of my fore-bearers

Do I know the life they struggled with

Attempting to bring me to a better place

Or

Had they any thought of the morrow

Do I

 

How does the Almighty touch my life

How does God who created all

Such perfect precision

Impress His being

His substance into the path

The world I walk

Today

Or

Tomorrow

How do I flow from the wretchedness

Of what I have become

Am

Into the expected goodness

Of what the Holy One desired

In the beginning

All questions

Few answers

Are there

Answers

I am asked

What -- Do I want

What -- Is my ambition

What -- End do I live for

What -- Is my gluttonous living purchasing for me

What -- Is the end of such a way

All things brings death

What -- Beyond death

Gluttonous

Evidences in my life

Food,

Clothing,

Materials

Objects and more objects

Is there life displayed in my dwelling places

Temporal displayed from my walls

What -- Is there of life, the eternal

What -- Answer can I give of myself

My head hangs low, shame...loathe to meet the eyes of the Savior

He - Who had given up all which is glorious - purchased

My freedom, My life

He - Who lowered Himself In humility to that of human form

Yet I cling to

What -- Hunger

After what -- Dirt

The substance of this world

How do I learn...What do I learn

In the learning, danger of bitterness, Profound hatred

Do I choose to learn a better way or turn and walk the way of shadows

Behind those who have walked before me

Taunting me, cajoling me, appealing to the base dark places of the soul

That seeks retribution, revenge

Is this what Life is

Questions and No answers

Question after question

Where are the answers...Are there answers

Generation after generation, Ask the same questions

No matter the age...No matter the sphere

History doesn’t teach future generations

Many fall to the way

Of jealousy

Of retaliation

Of hatred

To exact upon another a means of vengeance

To oppose the ways of man

Needs a strength

Extensive force more than I can muster

How

Can man keep doing this

To babies

To children

To women

Who look for security

Assurance

How could I do this

To the innocents in my life

Be it my own

Or

That of another

SIN

I see its affects, I feel its encroachment, swirls around, creeps through, breaths death in

Through those about me

SIN - Does not just happen to us

SIN - Happens through us

I don’t want to see it, I become deliberately blind, to the foundation of my dissolute nature

Blind to the capability I have to accomplish exactly that which I abhor

SIN - Brought this very thing among us, in one bite, In one acquiescence, I hold no ability in myself to resist

SIN - If no notice taken Is granted, Strength -- To grow, Darkness -- To hide

Silence -- To speak, food from which SIN stealthily grows, gaining authority in

Intensification, expansion

A web of traps

A web of fear

A web of certain death

I close my eyes

I am alone

I sense a presence

In the swirl

In the darkness

A hand

Friend or Foe

I close my eyes

I am lost

A hand of pain

A hand of escape

A hand of mockery

A hand of love

A hand of lies

A hand of truth

I close my eyes

I am confused

Laughter surrounds

Scorn adorns

A gentle touch caresses

I pull away

I close my eyes

I am scared

Judgment presses

Mercy bars the way

Punishment pushes

Grace extends its hand

I close my eyes

I am weak

Echo’s of death

Echo’s of grace

A hoax

A gift

I close my eyes

I hear a voice

A gentle voice

A soft disclosure

I Am

Your Savior

I open my eyes

A hand of hope

Clasps down on mine

It’s Strong

It’s True

It’s Pure

A stillness comes

At our embrace

A mantle warm

With righteousness

The darkness flees

The dawn has come

My SIN takes flight

Both mine and theirs

Trust

Now in this

I am thy God

A voice of peace

A voice of love

My eyes meet His

I am made whole

© 2010 UlrikeGrace