Explain how . . . etc.

Explain . . . etc.
Explain . . . etc. | Source

Or, to more fully and accurately quote the test proctor for the History of the Western World first semester final: “Explain how the centralized and autocratic Carthaginian mercantile structure and its related shipping dominance affected small village pre-Roman subsistence agriculture and herding, and support with pertinent data and examples, in no more than 16 single-spaced pages.” Yikes!!

It is no wonder that gasping gape-mouthed Norbert is now envisioning the last four high school years of his life going down in searing flames. (Let alone the premonition of a degrading and unsatisfying career of overflowing slop buckets and having to inquire “Want fries with that?” looming far and away to his future horizons.)

But right now what is racing through Norb’s buzz-cut and pop-eyed cranium is, “What in the #+~$?•=%@!^* did I ever do to you, Mr. Ferdinand Feeney?!"

"Or are you just taking out on all of us the frustrations by which you are consumed each day that you must face another four score of loud, lumbering, obnoxious, hormonal, slovenly, acne-ridden, texting, foul-mouthed, preoccupied, disrespectful, ear-budded teenagers who aren’t particularly interested in the details of what went on half-way around the planet several thousand years ago in cultures that no longer even exist?!”

But soon Norbert will become becalmed by the dawning realizations that, 1) nobody really understands diddly about the Carthaginians and the pre-Romans, anyway, so I can probably fudge this one, pad it a little bit with all the right buzzwords, and likely not flunk, 2) it can’t be any more difficult than determining the second derivatives of functions I still don’t get, 3) Mom and Dad are paying me $50 for every B that I can manage to eke out, so it’s certainly worth the effort to b.s. my way through this if I can, and 4) Janie said she’d wait for me at the end of the visiting team bleachers after 5th period today, and Janie is Way, Way Hot!

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Comments 8 comments

Londonlady profile image

Londonlady 5 years ago

Haha, this is funny. I like the cartoon and the name Norbert. Great hub! Voted UP and funny!

rickzimmerman profile image

rickzimmerman 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio Author

Thanks, LL! Hope you enjoy some of my other characters!

CMCastro profile image

CMCastro 5 years ago from Baltimore,MD USA

I would like to think this hub and your fine illustration is a descriptive of how my son felt when he took that final exam in school that he wasn't quite prepared for. Actually it described me when my mind went blank when I was taking finals in RN School. I ended up going to LPN School the next year and I graduated with a 3.4 average and on the Honor Roll!

rickzimmerman profile image

rickzimmerman 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio Author

Yup, CM, sheer fright can work wonders.

Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 5 years ago from United States

I liked the cartoon as it made a statement and the hub was funny. Seems I have been in that place before many years ago. Great hub.

rickzimmerman profile image

rickzimmerman 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio Author

Thanks, Pamela! (I think we've all been there at one time or another.)

Trouble16 profile image

Trouble16 5 years ago

Very funny haha thanks for the laugh

rickzimmerman profile image

rickzimmerman 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio Author

You are quite welcome, T16.

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