Forward That Southern Humor

Everybody loves a good joke and there’s plenty to be found on the internet. When someone runs across a few good ones that illicit a good laugh, they naturally want to share them with friends, family and E Mail pen pals. So, they get forwarded to everyone in their address book. Here are a few recently sent to me under the category of Southern Humor:

  • A Florida senior citizen drove his new high powered sports car off the sales lot. Taking off down the road, he decided to test it out. As the speedometer needle rapidly climbed to 80 mph, the old man was impressed. “Amazing," he thought as he floored it and watched as the needle quickly rose to 120 mph. An alert Florida State Trooper pulled in behind him and hit his blue lights and siren. Realizing it was all over except for the screaming and hollering, he pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. The trooper walked up to the Corvette looking at his watch, and then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. If you can give me a new reason for speeding I've never heard before, I'll let you off with a warning.” The old man thought a second and replied "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.” "Have a good day, sir," the trooper said, turning back towards his cruiser.
  • A Sheriff pulled up next to a man who was unloading garbage out of his pick-up into a ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage here, don't you see that sign?" "Yes sir,” he replied. "That's why I'm dumping it here.” The sign read “Fine for Dumping Garbage."
  • A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
  • A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait for assistance. A passing motorist’s curiosity was aroused as he studied the scene and he decided to find out what was going on. The motorist turned around and went back. He asked the man what the problem was. The man replied, "I got a flat tahr." “I can see that,” the motorist said, "But what's with the flowers?" “Well,” the man explained, "The driver’s handbook says when you break down you’re supposed to put flares in the front and back of your vehicle. I never understood it neither."
  • "How to Install a Southern Home Security System”

1. Buy a pair of size 14-16 men's work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo and four giant dog dishes.

3. Pin this note on the door:

Billy Bob,

Me, Virgil, T-Bone, and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and a gallon of sweet tea. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.

Cooter


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Comments 7 comments

eHealer profile image

eHealer 4 years ago from Las Vegas

Too funny JY! I like the joke "fine for garbage." Thank you for a great belly laugh, voted funny, laughed again, and voted up!


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

Ha. You have it down just about right here in this Hub. So very funny. I could add about a thousand real life southern stories to this one too. Ha. Great Hub. In His Love, Faith Reaper


mythbuster profile image

mythbuster 4 years ago from Utopia, Oz, You Decide

Got me laughin'... voted up and funny. Thanks for sharing. These jokes are the first HP read of the day for me - great content for me to start with as I log in today :)


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 4 years ago from Central Oklahoma

Good 'un, JY! ROTFL! The thing about Southern humor is it isn't all that humorous to the natives, only to those who live (or have lived) "up north". A Kansas-born friend and I were in tears and rolling on the floor laughing reading the first Jeff Foxworthy "You Might Be a Red Neck". But the friend whose family lived in a mobile home propped up on blocks with a plastic flamingo, dead washer and two rusted cars in the front yard - and who routinely tore down car engines on the dining room table - didn't find it all funny, and was downright OFFENDED that we did. Wouldn't speak to us for a week. Go figure... ;D


aviannovice profile image

aviannovice 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

They all put a smile on my face!


JY3502 profile image

JY3502 4 years ago from Florence, South Carolina Author

I wasn't too sure how well this one would be accepted, but since YA'LL liked it so much, I will do a few more when I get some more material. My brother has been collecting them for years, so as soon as he puts them on disc for me, I'll make some more hubs for ya. YA'LL come back now, ya hear?


Rosie2010 profile image

Rosie2010 4 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Hi JY, thanks for laugh this Sunday morning. Well, it's really afternoon already but I just got up. I love good jokes and these ones are hilarious. Voted up and shared. Cheers!

Have a nice day,

Rosie

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