How I Wish You Could See - A Poem About the Power of Unspoken Words & the Bond Between a Father & Daughter

How I wish you could see

What I see in my mind,

Hear the words I can't say

Because they are too hard to find.

How I wish you could see

The way I feel in my heart,

Instead of my fits of frustration

At words I’ve grown unable to impart.

I've all the golden words in the world

Stuck right up here in my head,

But words are hardly worth much

If they somehow just cannot get said.

How I wish you could see

The scenes that play out one by one

Like an old black and white film or a play

Where the actors seem so familiar

In this lost footage of long ago days;

These are the memories that I wish I could share

Significant moments from time that has passed,

Sometimes played back in slow motion

Sometimes speeding by way too fast.

How long has your mother been gone now?

What year did you say that this is?

How I wish I could tell you I'm sorry

But the words are lost somewhere in the mist

Confusing the past with the present

Can that little girl really be you?

Sometimes I mistake you for your mother

Her eyes were more violet than blue.

How I wish I could remove that look from your face,

The one you try so hard not to show

When your name gets all tangled up on my lips,

I know you are wondering if I even still know.

How I wish that you knew that I see them

Those tears that you keep pushing back

When you turn your head for a moment

Smiling bravely at me when you turn back.

How I wish I could find the right words to bring comfort

Make the sadness you feel go away,

Like the witch that once lived in your closet

And be the Daddy who always saves the day.

How I wish I could tell you

So you wouldn't have to guess

At my made up signs and motions

That cause you so much distress.

They always make sense to me

But of course, I know what I'm trying to say

What thing I am trying to communicate

It's a bit like a game of charades.

How I wish you could see

When you look in my eyes

Know exactly what it is I am thinking

Without having to surmise

Or having to wonder,

Not really sure that you got it right,

Even though you patiently keep asking

And I keep trying with all of my might,

It is so difficult when things get clouded,

There's a fog in my brain that won't clear,

How I hope that you can't see what I'm feeling

When inside of me is terror and fear.

When you hold my hand it is better,

Just to know that someone is near

How I wish you could know how happy I am

To be blessed with a daughter so dear.

The words won’t come from that place where they hide,

So I reach out and take hold of your hand,

This time there's no guessing

You immediately somehow understand.

How I hope you know what I'm thinking

As you reach down to give me a hug,

When all of the things that I've wanted to say

Come out as only the single word, Love.

^{-Kristen Burns-Darling}

^{©July 30, 2011 (all rights reserved)}