Political Parody: Mitt Romney and Barack Obama "Face Off".
Strange twist of events.
The first presidential debate of 2012 is set to take place in less than 48 hours. However, in a shocking and strange twist of events, presidential candidates Barack Obama and Mitt Romney have agreed to an exhibition boxing match to decide who becomes our next president. Looks like our votes really won't count this time eh? The decision of the boxing match was worked out behind closed doors between the campaigns of both camps. What a surprise right? Isn't most legislation worked out behind closed doors, with the American public being tuned out? Before stepping into the squared circle on November 6, 2012, Romney and Obama sat down to face off on HBO's "Face Off". HBO commentator Max Kellerman normally moderates the discussions. However, CNN political journalist, Wolf Blizter, was given the assignment to moderate. The following is an overview of how the discussion went down.
*Wolf Blitzer sits at the center of a gray table in a dark room, and looks into the camera as he addresses the audience.*
Blitzer: "On November 6, 2012, something unprecedented in American politics is taking place. Two political candidates have agreed to settle their differences in an unusual setting; the boxing ring. In a fight to decide who will hold the title of President of the United States of America, Mitt Romney and Barack Obama have decided to settle their differences by fighting each other in a ten round boxing match. However, before that happens, they will face off right here, right now. Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, lets face off."
*Barack Obama and Mitt Romney enter at opposite ends of the table, and stare each other down before taking their seats.*
Blitzer: "Welcome gentlemen. We certainly have something unusual going on here with you two deciding to box one another to determine who becomes the next "President of the United States." Mr. President let me start with you. What made you agree to participate in this boxing match?"
Obama: "Well Wolf, the public is sick and tired of the way our political system works. They're sick of how the elections are held, and feeling like their votes don't matter. We're gonna make sure that their votes don't count this time around. The people want something more exciting, and that's what I plan on giving them."
Blitzer: "I see. What about you candidate Romney? What made you agree to this exhibition match?"
Romney: "Look, I'm a rich individual that can and has done everything I wanted except slug it out with someone. I know I have what it takes to defeat Barack Obama. *stares at the president*, I'm coming for that number one spot Mr. President."
Obama: *looks Romney in the eyes*. "Listen I've been the champion(president) for almost 4 years now. I've already shown that I'm number one. My record speaks for itself, and you better be on top of your game up if you plan on defeating me. I'm more than ready."
Blitzer: "You two guys have obviously won on various levels. Mr. President, you were a junior senator from Illinois before claiming the presidential seat. Mr. Romney, you are a former governor of Massachusetts. How do you both think your past experience will help you in this strange event of a boxing match? We'll start with you governor."
Romney: "Well Wolf, I feel that I have just as much if not more experience than my opponent. See when you're governor of a state, you actually are running the state. I'm sure that I've made more legislative decisions than the president, and that experience will help me be victorious in the ring. I'm ready, and I'm not backing down."
Obama: *chuckles to himself*, "Listen, this guy is delusional. Not only am I more experienced than the governor, I'm faster than him. I plan on using my speed to bob and weave on him. This fight will not go the distance. I'm going to tire him out and force him into submission." *looks over at Romney*. "If you make any mistakes, you have to pay."
Romney: *appearing to get flustered*. "I'm not worried about you sir. I know that I'm stronger and more experienced. Your small frame will not be able to absorb the power punches that I'm planning on landing on you. I'm planning on inflicting brutal punishment upon you". You're gonna be begging me to take that presidential seat from you."
Obama: "I've already been the champ for almost four years." *looks at Romney*. "You're gonna have to prove to me that you can stop me. Thus far no one has been able to, and it's not going to happen now. If you wanna see the champ you better get into shape."
*Romney shakes head*
Blitzer: I know that this particular discussion is about boxing. However, lets talk about a few policy issues. *Romney appearing angry cuts off Blitzer*.
Romney: "Listen Wolf, I don't want to discuss political issues. All I want to discuss is how I'm going to defeat this man and take his title. It's gonna be some hardcore brutality happening come November 6, 2012."
Blitzer: "I apologize governor. Well I guess that ends this face off. Any last words from either of you"?
Obama: "This is going to be easy work Wolf. I feel that I have the American people behind me, and I know what I'm capable of. I'm about to get in that ring and embarrass this guy. Hillary Clinton couldn't stop me, John McCain didn't stop me, and I will be victorious over Mitt Romney."
Romney: "That's not going to happen. The American people are fed up with your leadership skills, and I'm taking that presidential title away from you. You can take that to the bank. Speaking of the bank, I need to go and deposit a couple million dollars right now."
Obama: *Obama laughs*. "You think you're the only one rich in here? I got cake too."
Blitzer: "Well ladies and gentlemen, it looks like it's going down on November 6th. Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, thanks for facing off."
Obama: "No problem."
Romney: "Thanks for having me Wolf."
*The referee for the fight enters, it's former Judge Mills Lane.*
Mills Lane: "Barack, Mitt, I'll see you guys on November 6th. LETS GET IT ON!"
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