So Sick

i.

so sick of the way you make me feel

sick of the ways you make me ill

sick of you

in general

unknown why i place you

on a pedestal

i'm sad to say this is the last straw

you've done if for me

really and truly

just let it be

i want to move on now

with my life

so much ahead of me

ill never be held back

especially not

by a selfish lying using guy

ii.

i'm sorry i wasted my time with you

i'm sorry i let myself get played

by a toy like you

i'm sorry i was blinded

for so long

i shouldn't be sorry

you should

with me is a place

you'll never belong

i'm sorry i brought you

into my home

if i had known better

i'd assume be alone

a home where you live, laugh, love

too bad since you got here

i've done none of the above

i thought i loved you

but love is honest, caring, genuinely real

you are none of those things

a self loving deceitful ordeal

what hurts the most

is that i tried so hard

to do the right thing

with no disregards

i'm sorry i have to tell you goodbye

but really, i'm not sorry

since, now i know, all of this was nothing but a lie.

iii.

it's really too bad

honestly too sad

a human being such as yourself

lost in this world

nothing to be had

i wish you the best

metamorphosis

day to night

i pray you'll be blessed

prayer at this point

is your only saving grace

i have helped you enough

no longer

can i save face

all the lies, emotional abuse

controlling, possesive

you are not a muse

i only have myself to blame

for staying with you

this long

you should be ashamed

God will repay my favors

He is watching

I feel my day coming soon

I feel His positive energy

flowing thru me, tick-tocking

nothing else matters

He is the one whom I have to answer

you are but a small fry

a needle in a haystack

of a child's tormenting laughter

one day

your day will come

you'd better pray hard

soon things will happen to you

then you, my friend, will come undone

only then will you see

understand how i felt

nights waiting until dawn

for this long, how have i dealt?

i'm so happy God

has lighted my way

a path in this darkness you surround me with

i'm no longer blinded today

the emotion you stirred within my heart

i really wanted to help you

right from the start

ungrateful, self loving

no passion within

a passionate person

passionate only for his own sins

play with your nose

fog your memory

drink up, cheers

laying next to you

somehow always fighting the tears

today will be

the last day i cry

i cannot go on living

living a lie.