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Don't Bother Trying to Keep up With Me

Updated on May 2, 2020
Kyler J Falk profile image

I answer any and every question I receive honestly and to the best of my ability.

Source

I recently received an inquiry from one of my dedicated readers as to why it is I stopped keeping up with everyone else, essentially, why I stopped commenting on other people's articles so frequently. This question had such a layered answer that I felt it was deserving of a community article. Hopefully I'm not the only one who feels this way, more to say I know I am not, but if I am then c'est la vie.

Busy Bee

As anyone who follows me can tell, the second I get one shred of free time I utilize it to the fullest. Utilizing it to the fullest entails working on my writing first, then after that comes any and everything else. I'm just way too busy to keep up with the 100+ people who are active and that I am following.

I watch my son 24/7, no babysitter for the last two years, and we haven't had a real break since he was born. Writing is one of my only true outlets, and since I am wholly honest I'll tell you that I absolutely loathe reading. As it concerns reading, I'm into audio books so I can write and, "read," at the same time.

If you want me to keep up with your writing, I need you to come and tell me exactly what it is you want from me.

I'm not a damn mind reader and I'm so busy with my own life that you need to grab my attention by your own hand!

Source

Caring Less

I'm the type of person to care about every little detail of every facet in life. This ends up taking a huge toll on my mind, and subsequently my ability to care as a whole. If I don't take the time to offer myself the chance for some self-care, some selfish indulgence of my whims, then I'd quickly be running myself into the ground. With over thirty articles being posted per day by the authors I follow, I feel as if I'm letting each and every one of you down if I don't read every single piece and that isn't fair to myself.

Thus we come to my solution, which is to say I'm going to stop caring so much. HubPages seems to be a kind of tit-for-tat, you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours situation. I get more views from off-site, and even further the people who enjoy my writings and don't just skim over them refuse to even take part in this site, and hit my emails and our groups for discussion.

If you want us to care, then you need to show you care, right? That seems to be the way of things, and I'm a bit exhausted with the dynamic here. Don't take it personal.

Source

Sorry, Not Sorry

For those who feel like I have a hair trigger with my writings, or that I unfairly criticize others, well I'm sorry that I have no remorse for your perceptions. If you come into my comments section acting like a fool, calling people weirdos who aren't even there to defend themselves, or otherwise acting boorish, then you can guarantee I'm going to look down on you and have to warn you about your unwarranted behavior.

I don't care who you are, what your views and beliefs are, I want you to express yourself freely in my comments. If you want to attack other people, to justify attacking people with humor, then you can take that somewhere it is acceptable. Performative cruelty is not going to be an acceptable form of communication in my comments section, ever.

I make exceptions to perceptions based on ongoing dialogue between individuals and their preferred relationship dynamics, but you wouldn't walk into a room full of strangers and start blurting your judgments; so don't use the anonymity and safety of the internet to do just that. If this upsets you, well, you're probably part of the problem and I'm sad that we couldn't come to a more fair and impartial conclusion.

In closing: If you want me to keep up with you, then you need to catch up with me so I know of the existence of your desires! Always be kind, and seek to be fair and impartial!

Comments

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    • Kyler J Falk profile imageAUTHOR

      Kyler J Falk 

      2 weeks ago from Corona, CA

      As one of my most infrequent readers/commenters it is always nice to see you coming back around my articles more akin to a dumpster fire, Alyssa, and for that I thank you. Negativity is something I have a bittersweet relationship with, my past and present call for me to take on sensitive subjects (the type to attract the worst, and best kinds of attention). Being the type to delve into the duality of it all, good and bad, it tends to scare others off and breed many enemies.

      I admire how free spirited you are, as well as how you successfully shield yourself from the negativity. There's something addictive to it all for me, like listening to sad songs when you are down just so that you can cry a little bit harder. Although I think I'm beginning to understand the true power in caring less as I take the time to put positive demeanor into a more active practice in my life.

      Hope to see you around more often, thanks for reading!

    • Alyssa Nichol profile image

      Alyssa 

      2 weeks ago from Ohio

      I think you nailed this. We're all so busy, who has the time to read everything? I feel much the same way. I prioritize my family and make time for writing. I have a few people who I adore on my reading list and try my damnedest to keep up with their content. If someone takes the time to read my writing and leave a thoughtful comment, I always try to return the favor. If people don't read my stuff, that's fine too. I don't take it personally. Aside from that, it's all random and left to chance. If I have time and come across something interesting that moved me or made an impression, I leave a comment. I don't engage in negativity online or offline, I think it's a giant waste of time and I have better things to do.

    • Kyler J Falk profile imageAUTHOR

      Kyler J Falk 

      2 weeks ago from Corona, CA

      Absolutely, Mitara, and equally I'd say be careful which peeps you let in and which ones you keep out. Never know when you're letting a wolf into the chicken coop!

      Thanks for reading!

    • MitaraN profile image

      Mitara N 

      2 weeks ago from South Africa

      Admire the straight talk good friend, it's either you in or you're out. By sugar coating it just leaves those hanging in limbo with certain expectations that you're not.

      Most of us think very similar, may not say it. We all have our reasons for beings on HP....

      ...Plus life happens so there are certain things you consider priority in comparison, but never forget "your" peeps, its one of the reasons that make you come back :)

    • Kyler J Falk profile imageAUTHOR

      Kyler J Falk 

      2 weeks ago from Corona, CA

      I'm very happy to hear I have inspired you, Brenda, and absolutely take that time for the self! I'm still trying to figure out that delicate balance myself, but I am figuring out quickly that I feel better when I don't pressure myself to worry about others so much.

      Thanks for reading!

    • Brenda Arledge profile image

      BRENDA ARLEDGE 

      2 weeks ago from Washington Court House

      Well said. I have been finding myself a bit under the weather but more so overwhelmed with everything I have been trying to accomplish.

      I think you are right to take time for yourself first and complete your own work.

      I am trying to find a delicate balance...your writing here has inspired me.

    • Kyler J Falk profile imageAUTHOR

      Kyler J Falk 

      2 weeks ago from Corona, CA

      Too true, Vidya, I just don't want anyone to feel as if I am going out of my way not to read their articles. I want to read every single one, and to learn from all the people I follow but keeping up is so difficult and I forget where I left off!

      My bookmark bar is loaded with "must-read" articles and it just keeps growing! By the time I reach many of them there's a new development that requires I read another, it never seems to end!

    • profile image

      VIDYA D SAGAR 

      2 weeks ago

      Hi Kyler, it really is difficult to keep up with all the articles of the hubbers that we follow. I find your articles very honest and forthright and a pleasure to read though sometimes it is difficult to comment on each and every article that we read on Hubpages.

    • Kyler J Falk profile imageAUTHOR

      Kyler J Falk 

      3 weeks ago from Corona, CA

      @Linda: We had an ongoing dialogue that I disappeared from, then I recalled we had been emailing back and forth when I found their emails in my spam folder while clearing it out. They had felt that I disappeared because i was upset with them, and wondered why i had also stopped commenting on their articles as well.

      I didn't have a concise answer, so before anyone else in my spam folder got worried I decided I'd just throw this out there.

    • Linda Courtney profile image

      Linda Courtney 

      3 weeks ago from Bloomsburg, PA

      Is there anyone on Hubpages who reads all their followers articles? OMG, they'd have to have a lot of time on their hands. I enjoy your articles, but I'm not on here every day. When I am, I pick and choose what sounds interesting. Can't understand why someone would question you about comments on their articles. We all have lives.

    • Kyler J Falk profile imageAUTHOR

      Kyler J Falk 

      3 weeks ago from Corona, CA

      @Holley: Thank you, Holley, and always glad to see you in my comments section! Been a while!

    • Kyler J Falk profile imageAUTHOR

      Kyler J Falk 

      3 weeks ago from Corona, CA

      @Marcy: You'll get the hang of it. It seems to me that there is an unspoken rule of: Read and comment on my stuff and I'll read and comment on yours; that's as far as HubPages users are concerned.

    • Holley Hyler profile image

      Holley Hyler 

      3 weeks ago from Upstate New York

      You need time for self-care! I've been slacking a bit on my comments too. Always glad to see you writing.

    • powers41 profile image

      fran rooks 

      3 weeks ago from Toledo, Ohio

      Kyler, thank you for your kind comments! And, thanks for the tip on Marino. I certainly will check it out! Hang in there!

    • Marcy Bialeschki profile image

      Marcy Bialeschki 

      3 weeks ago from Cerro Gordo, IL

      I am new to HubPages, so I am not really sure how things work yet. I only have a few people I follow, and it's difficult. I can't imagine having a ton.

    • Kyler J Falk profile imageAUTHOR

      Kyler J Falk 

      3 weeks ago from Corona, CA

      Fran, your pieces tend to be extremely informative and engaging and it saddens me I cannot keep up with them! Your piece on cannibals the other day was one of my favorites. I'd love to read a piece on the history of the Italian city Marino, if you'd ever consider doing a piece on Italy. It's the city my family comes from.

    • powers41 profile image

      fran rooks 

      3 weeks ago from Toledo, Ohio

      Kyler, great piece. I have to say I don't always have time to read every article either. I have lots of research for my articles and that takes time. Plus I only have one arm so some things take me a little longer. And, I enjoy your honesty and gusto! Keep it up,

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