The Probing 'A' Question

Sunrise...
Sunrise... | Source
Source

A Morning Like any Other…

I have a sixth-sense thing going on. An internal antenna that warns of catastrophe. It’s almost eerie. In fact, it would be eerie if this feeling occurred just prior to a catastrophe…normally it kicks in about fifteen-minutes into the ordeal. I have a 20/20 hindsight thing going on…it’s eerie…

Like every morning…I rode the blissful train of ignorance into work. I did not anticipate that the train would prove a wreck, however.

Upon my arrival I had gone into the Hubsville Café…grabbed a doughnut and a cup of coffee while chatting up the barista and exchanging nods with those few Hubbers I recognized casually. It was a normal morning.

In retrospect…these would be the last people to see me before… “The Incident.”

I had planned a low pressure day for myself. I was going to scope out some fan mail…write some fan mail…perhaps do some Hub-Hopping in search of new friends and great talent. I was just coming off a story and a bad break-up and I needed a little ‘me’ time to decompress...

My plate wasn’t full and the portion that was sitting on it definitely hailed from the low-calorie side of the menu…

Source
Source

Are you Rendering me In the Halls of Hubsville…?

As I fished the office key out of my pocket…that internal antenna I spoke of…? Yeah…nothing…

As such, I was pretty surprised when two burly functionaries bracketed me as I moved down the hall. Dressed in grey suits and fedoras they were nothing more than faceless bureaucrats.

They did, however, have a purpose and I appeared to be it. Their lack of faces just made them creepier.

“Sandwiches?” Grunted one of them towards my general direction.

“Sslahbwit. Slurb-nom…” I acknowledged around my mouthful of jelly doughnut. I swallowed quickly. I was at a disadvantage.

Not only was my trigger finger fully occupied by holding the hot coffee…I didn’t have a trigger to put the finger into. Also, they seemed much more prepared for our encounter than I was.

I considered throwing the piping hot coffee into their non-faces…but I doubted the effect and I hesitated at the thought of wasting fifty-three cents worth of coffee…that represented six-months of, as yet, unpaid Hubpages wages…

In an egregious violation of personal space issues, within typical North American customs and norms of course, they crowded me…

“Hey, hey….bubble of sanctuary guys…” I protested as they jostled me.

The one behind pinioned my arms while relieving me of my back-pack as the other slapped the coffee from my hand.

“Heeey…”

“Shut-up,’ growled the voice from behind as the other pulled out a burlap hood. The body search was conducted perfunctorily but that brevity didn’t mask the grasping intensity of his hands.

“Do you want me to put this hood on you?” Questioned, the apparent leader, menacingly.

“Um…is that your thing? Hoods? Because really guys…I’m not sure what you’ve heard…but…”

Blackness as the hood is thrust over my head. As they begin moving me through the building it occurs to me to ask…

“Wait…are you rendering me in the halls of Hubsville?”


Source
Prison in Shlisselburg fortress.
Prison in Shlisselburg fortress. | Source
Torture using waterboarding.
Torture using waterboarding. | Source

Removed to an Un-disclosed Location…

As I was moved through my burlap darkness, I searched my mind for any recent violations I may have committed against the Patriot Act.

I mean…I’m no angel. I smoked some weed while coming up with the idea for this article…there was a rolling stop the other day…there was that time when I rolled through the stop while smoking weed…was any of this covered under the Patriot Act?

Do I have skeletons in my closet? Oh yeah. In fact, I have shifts of skeletons, working nights shredding boxes of secrets, that I hope never see the light of day…that said…none of my actions rose to the level of running afoul of National Security…I didn’t think…

Truth was…I had never read the Patriot Act but I didn’t feel bad…none of the Congress-people, who voted for it, had read it either…

Only after I was deposited in an interrogation room was the hood removed...

Dimly lit, with the temperature running towards the colder side, the room didn’t exude comfort. A cigarette burned and scarred wooden table occupied the bulk of the space with a metal folding chair being the only seat.

Before leaving, the two goons relieved me of my watch, belt, shoelaces, and the hang-man’s noose I kept in my back-back...

A large screen on the wall activated and the ‘Hub Statistics’ of my Hubpages account page appeared...

After thirty-minutes it refreshed to indicate that one new viewer had visited my hubs…the thirty-minute cycle began anew…It was with horror that I realized their nefarious tactic…Electronic Water-boarding…

I gritted my teeth. Those fucking bastards! I vowed then and there that they wouldn’t break me. I would be resolute. I would be a rock. I would be a resolute rock. Still…I had to pee, and ironically, I was thirsty at the same time…NO! I wouldn’t break…


Dry lips...
Dry lips... | Source
Source
Source
Grease Gun...
Grease Gun... | Source

The Confrontation…

Suddenly, the wall screen shut off. I could tell that an intercom had been activated somewhere beyond my line of sight...

The dim light bulb, encased in its protective wire mesh, had never been shut off. I was disorientated by this time. How many thirty-minute cycles had I endured? I felt like an animal. Caged. Starved for conversation…any human contact…

“Mr. Sandwiches…” The disembodied voice floated through the recessed speakers before being cut off by my desperate plea…

“I will give you the names and Social Security numbers of every American I know if you just let me go pee!” I yelled at the unseen presence behind the speakers. “What day is this?? What country are we in??”

I fell off into an incoherent babbling as my blistered, saliva-starved lips, quaked at the inhumanity of it all…

“Mr. Sandwiches,” said the metallic tinged voice, “You have been in this room for forty-five minutes. Please calm down. A matter has come up that needs to be discussed, after which, you are free to leave.”

“Forty-five minutes…?” I simpered.

“Yes, sir.”

“I see.” I replied as I wiped away the snot bubble that continuously poked its head out my left nostril. I refused to let them see me weaken...

“Who are you people? Those weren’t Grammar cops who brought me in here! Those goons spilled my coffee! Is that you Dick Cheney?!?”

Behind the microphone I heard the sound of phlegmatic coughing laughter. If grease made a sound as it slid down a wall…this would be the sound it made. It sounded like Dick Cheney’s laughter…you know…almost human…but not…kind of greasy…

“I can assure you sir, that the former Vice-President, is not involved in this matter.” Said the voice, “And I apologize for your treatment and the loss of your coffee. We fully intend to replace your coffee and, upon leaving, you will find that your PayPal account has been credited by one dollar.”

“An American dollar?”

“Yes.”

“Do you think you can just buy me off?” I asked scornfully.

“Yes.”

“OK…so who are you guys and what’s the problem?” I replied as I wondered if not reporting that dollar would violate the Patriot Act…my mental closet-skeletons groaned at the increased work load…


An Artichoke...
An Artichoke... | Source
Source
On April 1, 1933, the boycott which was announced by the Nationalsocialistic party began. Placard reads, "Germans, defend yourselves, do not buy from Jews", at the Jewish Tietz store. Berlin. New York Times Paris Bureau Collection.
On April 1, 1933, the boycott which was announced by the Nationalsocialistic party began. Placard reads, "Germans, defend yourselves, do not buy from Jews", at the Jewish Tietz store. Berlin. New York Times Paris Bureau Collection. | Source
Source

The Problem…

The wall screen activated and showed a split-image. On the left was, again, my ‘Hub Statistics’ page and on the right an image of my latest story…The Breakup.

There were two noticeable differences from usual. Next to the entry line for ‘The Breakup,’ on my Statistics page, was a dollar sign with a line running through it…Ads disabled.

On the right side my story had the comment, “Advertising has been disabled based on Moderator’s review.”

“I am a Hubpages.com moderator Mr. Sandwiches,” Intoned the voice. “In this story you recently published…you used the ‘A’ word. As such…we permanently disabled the ability for you to earn any money from this article…so as not to offend our advertisers.”

“The ‘A’ word?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Artichoke?”

“No sir…”

“Arboreal?" I probed… "Amorous?”

“No…no…”

“Amphibian…?” I continued to run down my ‘A-list’ of words….as it were…

“NO! You said the word abortion!”

The word floated out in the atmosphere…gathering distinction and import as we watched it hover in mid-air...

“Um…so?” I asked confused.

I had mentioned illegal drug use…LSD…foot fetishes…mental masturbation…there was a good chance that I once outright mentioned actual masturbation…during my vast literary career with Hubpages…

“It offends our advertiser’s sensibilities. As such, it is on a list of proscribed words.”

“Proscribed words? What does that mean?”

I idly watched the word, capital letter-style, Abortion…float about the room. Caught by an updraft, it landed in the corner of the room above the door…bouncing back and forth… (Bounce, bounce, bounce)…

“Proscribe…a verb…to be used with an object… meaning…”

I interrupted, “No…I’m aware of the word’s meaning…just not it’s usage in this circumstance.”

Although I didn't feel up to snuff on the inner workings of the Patriot Act…I was well versed in my First Amendment rights under the Constitution…

“I mean can I say, ‘The mission was aborted due to an intelligence failure’ …you know…should narrative need demand it?” I asked.

“That would be appropriate.” Concedes the hollow voice.

“But,” I clarified, “I wouldn’t be able to say, ‘The baby was aborted due to an intelligence failure?’ Should the narrative need demand that…I mean…?”

(Bounce, bounce, bounce…)

The voice appeared ready for my sly Constitutional trap, “Mr. Sandwiches…you can publish anything you wish…We just won’t pay you for it.”

“Well guys…you’re not really paying me now.” I commented wryly.

“We know…that’s why we feel bad…”

I thought for a moment before asking, “Yeah…so…the ‘A’ word was used in this article, too. Does that mean I won’t be paid for this either?”

Hesitation. “No.You won’t be paid for this article, either.”

“But you are the one who mentioned it,” I said as I review previous paragraphs…”Yeah…see…I was on ‘Amphibian’ when you just busted out with abort…uh….the ‘A’ word.”

(Bounce, bounce, bounce…)

“We know…that’s why we feel bad…”

“But you’re not going to un-publish them?” I asked worriedly…

“Oh no…these are funny as hell. No…we have no intention of un-publishing them…but…”


Source

The Solution…

When I left the room, I noted that my effects were sitting outside the door. I put my watch back on and placed the belt, shoelaces, and hang-man’s noose back in my backpack.

I sipped the waiting coffee…it was still warm. This new arrangement, however, left me feeling sullied and dirty…

Above and beyond my recent, ill-advised, use of the ‘A’ word…I was informed that the category placement of my hub was misleading.

As I recall I placed “The Breakup” in the Hubpages Community category…maybe help for new Hubbers? Something to do with forums, perhaps? My intentions were good.I wanted to help the newbie Hubbers…

“We would prefer if you stayed away from the ‘new’ Hubbers with your “special” brand of hubs…as such, we have moved your material to a new category…”

A new screen had appeared on the wall…

ENTERTAINMENT AND MEDIA…subcategory…Contemporary Humor.

“Are you kidding me?” I had asked, with thin disgust…Somehow I had always thought my life would amount to something...more substantial?

“We think it for the best…” They had trailed off…

I was looking for a bathroom. Walking in front of the Hubsville gymnasium I could clearly hear…

(Bounce, bounce, bounce…)

Was somebody getting in trouble? I looked in but realized the reality…

“Oh…just a basketball game…” I said out loud as I spied a men’s room…as I walked along the edge of the court…my internal sixth-sense kicked in…

Sudden, loud, and shrieking clarion bells of warning sounded out. A door in my mind opened and out rolled the robot from Lost in Space…he was yelling…

“DANGER-DANGER...Will Robinson…DANGER-DANGER…” His robot-arms flailed about willy-nilly as he sounds the alarm…

With a sigh I reached in to shut off the belated sixth-sense alarm as I hurried into the bathroom…the bathroom reminded me…Entertainment and Media


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Comments 57 comments

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie 5 years ago from Euroland

Ah. That was truly excellent. Humorous - yes. Clever - yes. Engaging - yes. Makes a point - yes. I read very little - but your article grabbed my attention and held it.

Now I just have to figure out which inane social network button to press and job done.


Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie 5 years ago from Euroland

Sigh. Where I used the word "read" above that is the "reed" version not the "red" version. Kind of changes the meaning if it's misconstrued.


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Hi Mark...having read your material (truly hilarious my friend) ...your kind words are indeed an honor, sir. I am glad my warped sense of everything was able to get your attention and keep it. No worries...I didn't misconstrue...I don't think...where is that dictionary...m-i-s-c-o-n...


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

Well, at least now I know I can't use the "A" word. But what about other "A" words? And what about the letter "A" they put beside your hubs if you've forgotten to write a summary? What about getting an "A" on a test? I never realized an "A" could have so many meanings!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Hi Jeannie...don't forget 'amphibian' and 'artichoke' as well...right? I guess that's why 'A' is at the front of the alphabet, huh? ...all the important ones get in at the front of the line....


jhamann profile image

jhamann 5 years ago from Reno NV

I guess this means a sudden abortion of all words pertaining to abortions, in all states with abortion issues on the table, and the ones that talk of abortion more freely. My friend you need to learn to think about word usage and abort things prior to being asked to abort them! This is a serious issue and I hope that you take the proper actions to abort them in the future. Thank you for this opportunity.


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Hi jhamann...Do you see what happens when I try and express myself?? Complete pandemonium!! You are welcome for the opportunity and I hope you enjoyed the scribbles.


lmmartin profile image

lmmartin 5 years ago from Alberta and Florida

Has no one told you the secret language? Pregnancies cannot be aborted here but they can be terminated. Anything remotely educational regarding sex is definitely taboo, particularly if your use the proper terms like penis and vagina. However, a sentence such as he rogered her with great gusto, his johnson hard at work in her hoohoo -- will receive no censorship. You must also be careful about using words such as stroked. Yes, I once wrote I stroked my dog and the computer jumped on that. Be careful too of pumped. I know this because I once wrote a hub about my stud dog, Dick (yes that was his name and that alone raised an alert.)

I've often wondered why it is unacceptable to say "he fucked her", but totally acceptable to say "the situation was all fucked up."

Ah -- it takes along time to learn. I have many hubs with that crossed off dollar beside it. Not that I have a potty mouth or anything, but I did write a series based on my experience in child protection. Awfully hard not to use those forbidden words there. But considering the ads that attached themselves to these hubs before the 'great banning' of 2009, I was somewhat relieved. They consisted of "meet your Russian beauty" and "your Asian dream girl waits." Another was for South American mail order brides. And then there was that new game flogged by the woman with huge tits... You get my drift.

Next time the hubthugs come for you, tell them to talk to me. I have more practice dealing with them. Loads of it.

Thanks for the laugh. Lynda


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Lynda...I was utterly unaware of this secret language and I certainly could have used your assist in that dark...Hubsville hall...I contemplated using the word 'termination' ...however...I did not want to give HP HR any ideas regarding my employment status... I think the rest of my day will be spent with the image in my head of, "He rogered her with great gusto..." Thank YOU for the laughs! oh...and for stopping by!


34th Bomb Group 5 years ago

Wow! Never knew any of this! But, I don't write much, either...

Very funny (satirical) take on censorship run amok.


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Hi MS. Bomb Group...I never knew until three days after I published The Breakup...I reckon these ad disabling will cost me .34 cents by the end of the year. Still...they put a dollar on my Paypal... I'm very glad you liked it!


Mamadrama profile image

Mamadrama 5 years ago from Upstate NY

I LOVE your story tellng. You could give me a play by play of wiping your ass and I would still be intrigued. Hearts Thomas!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

You're into that too?? lol. I'm just glad we got to find each other here. Hearts Andreea!


tarrka1089 profile image

tarrka1089 5 years ago from Ohio

Creative writing aborted for banal dribble. Amazing!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Hi tarrka...technically...I believe it is 'earnings' for creative writing...aborted. lol. I always love when you and Teddy can stop in!


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

...great writer you are and that`s why so much thought goes into your sandwiches and as a gesture of my awe towards you as a thinker, a philosopher and world class journalist - please allow me to post this most essential hub to my FACEBOOK page with a direct link back here and wish you well my friend, for now, with Sleepy La Beef playing in the background at lake erie time ontario canada 12:28am


KevinC9998 profile image

KevinC9998 5 years ago

You have a very creative and humorous way of expressing yourself. Nice job, Voted up.


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Hi Epigramman...I thank you for your kind words and sentiments my good friend. Regarding your request to post these idle thoughts on your Facebook...golly...that would be great.

I have just been scrawling my Hubsville office address on random bathroom walls...your way is much classier! As always, good sir, thank you for taking the time to take a peak at what I got hopping over here!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Hi Kevin...I am very glad you enjoyed my little version of the Patriot Act...lol. Thank you for the visit and the votes...all very, very appreciated!


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

Awful you had a run-in with internal security here Thought. The HPM(HubPagesModerators), are vigilant enforcers as you now know. Your witty and brilliant Hub here, however,- despite the 'A' word again- has but you back in the good graces of said ABC agency and their superiors even with the low dough and category placement. Besides, they know a damn good thing when they see it.~:)


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Alastar! Those internal security goons are rough. I understand that when they are not hounding hapless Hubbers...they are in your neck of the woods ripping cars apart in the swamp. Be careful my friend...


attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

What about A-bort -ions rather cheaply at a science fair. Help! help! I was only joking erg, ouch, oooooo sorry, honestly. Yes, 'cross my heart and hope to die' honestly.

It's ok TS they've gone, now this hub was crazy, (expected), funny (expected), weird, (expected) longish, (expected) interesting, (expected) and I shall sign off with Cheers (expected)


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Hey Attempted...Yeah...come into one of my hubs...and you risk hubthug attack!

Running through my check list, funny (check), weird (check-check), longish (cheeeeeck), interesting (well...nice of you to say...but...my friend...I think we know better).

As always sir, you are always welcome into the sticky goo that comes out of my brain in writing form!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca

At first I thought the change you were referring to was how they now organize the hubbers you follow. I was checking that out today and realized the ones who used to be on the top are no longer on the top... the alphabetized them. How cruel... I mean... bonus for me. My name starts with a B... yours (bowing my head in sadness) starts with a T... you are at the ass end of the alphabet. Now let me encourage you not to right a hub to the newbies about name choices. I would hate to see an influx of A, B, and C named hubbers!

On another less random note... I feel your pain. I too have been dragged in the room and been electrically watergated. I wrote a hub several hubs earlier and found that the use of booty is not liked by the advertisers. Seriously, what is wrong about writing about woman's clothing.

Overall, I must say, you have thoroughly entertained me once again. Sorry to hear that you had your ads disabled... and they dumped your coffee. Therefore, if you drink that crap coffee that only costs 53 cents... I will buy you a cup of joe! Cheers!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Barbergirl...I happily accept your offer of cheap coffee and will drink it! The first time I read it...I thought I was standing at the ass end of an elephant...that said...once I realized my error...I pictured myself feeding peanuts to the letter Z...I like alphabets...uh...elephants.

On the no money thing...eh...it's cool. I was surfing on absolutely no ideas for that next story until the ad message popped up. At that point...writing nirvana...and again...no money...


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

Just a THOUGHT, but how was I not following you already!? Oh well...I am now! Your humor is appreciated...we need all we can get! Thanks for this hub and the laugh!!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Hi Sunshine...So...you are following me, huh? Just a warning...I make frequent stops and wide right turns...something to keep in mind... I am very glad to become acquainted with you!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

Thanks for the warning, much appreciated...I can handle it...I think :)) Pleasure meeting you!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

It wouldn't be right not to warn you...now...I am also following you...should we get on an oval track?


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

TS - hilarious, funny, clever and right at the top! I love your humor - and gosh I learned a ton, even through the comments. Voted up and everything!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Hi RealHousewife...It is rare that one of my Hubs is able to teach or inform anyone about anything...I am blushing with pride!

OK...get a pencil...according to the disabled ads on my latest story...add the words pornography OR piffle to the list of proscribed words...sigh...

I am very glad you were able to stop by and I will be sending you money for the up votes. Um...yeah...actually I will be sending you 'slightly' expired store coupons...oh look...30 cents off Ragu...yesterday...


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest

I am really getting hooked on your writing. THe irony, the humor, and basically your style is right up my alley. I even love your pics that go with your hub in sort of an odd way. About your hub..we've all been there, well the best of us at least. Hubpages nuances are strange and stifling in my opinion.


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Hi izettl...as far as the hubs go...yeah...I believe I am resigned to the notion that this will not be my path to retirement...so...it relieves me of the burden of having to figure out SEO stuff...sad...I know...still a comfort.

Thank you for your kind words. In terms of picture picking...I like picture picking...it helps add to the ...yeah..."that thing?" (g,s) ...whatever 'that' thing may be. Come back anytime as you are always welcome.

Thomas

PS...If you would like to see the Hub where Jim and I met...this would be it

http://hubpages.com/literature/Confession-of-a-Hub...

pss...not driving traffic...just providing a shortcut.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Wow - Now I see where all the A(musing) folks are hanging out. (Is "hanging out" permitted in the HP lexicon, I wonder?)

Barbergirl - but notice that with the punch of a button, you can also reorganize the hubbers you follow by those with the latest hubs written. I think what the new choice of arrangements avoids is the old way of organizing them by their HP ratings. Maybe someone with a low rating complained! Ho hum . . .

TS - you're a riot. Thank you for a fun read. Being a visual person, I absolutely experienced the entire thing - till the men's room. Strictly off limits. Oh well. May not have been all that funny in there anyway, but, as you mention - a good place for reflection. :->


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Hi Nellie...I was the one who (with low ratings) complained to Hubpages. It is almost as if you can see into my soul. Please let me know if you find anything from the lost Reagan years.

If 'hanging-out' is currently allowed...I intend to push it to such an extent that it no longer is...only because I am bored. If I experienced a typo (board) I could at least do some planking...I digress...

Thank you for stopping by and the follow. I am currently piddling with a piece (innuendo intended) but will be looking at your hubs in the next day or so. Very nice to meet you and thanks for the kind words.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

My soul-seeing is rather selective and usually ignores anything involving the soul which is even slightly politically connected and I, myself, was rather preoccupied during the Reagan years, as I recall.

However, I did just this morning run across some of my Dad's college notes and essay tests in which he extensively discussed political issues of that and preceding decades; - he wrote this in 1917, I believe. So time limits are non-existent for me, you are so right about that. I don't exaggerate when I call myself ageless.

But alas, my seership comes and goes beyond my actual control; so you'll need to be content with whatever it may dredge up. I promise to try to avoid anything embarrassing. If by accident it is, you can deflect it easily because I, nor anyone else but you, will even recognize or know about it.

Forgive me my serious doubts that you spend much time being bored.


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 5 years ago from New York City

Now that was some thought provoking, powerful stuff you put into action. Wow, I thought my creative side was effective, but boy do I have some learning to do. Your mind is on point with a critical thinking format, this I do believe. I like to scan things a bit, to get an idea of what peoples mind are focused upon. Your writing technique and style overall is superb.

I must come back here to read more of this hub, I only got through 1/5 of it thus far. I will return for sure, thanks for sharing this hub, & for such a powerful way to express your hub writing to us fellow Hubbers. Oh and it's nice to meet you as well.


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Hey Cloud...Thank you for your kind words. It is my pleasure to share the hub and I would like to congratulate you on making it though 1/5th of the hub! You may wanna leave bread-crumbs...it can get labyrinth-ee at times. You are always welcome in my corner of Hubsville and I look forward to getting to know you!


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

ThoughtSandwiches, I just received a follow from you and I am delighted to jump in with both feet here and choose one of your hubs to read and WOW is the first word that came forth from this Poet's tongue from this exciting read. I look forward to opening up more of your shares here at the hubs.


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Saddlerider...

Yikes...this would be an odd hub to start with I should imagine...you know...not knowing what to expect and all...but I am certainly happy that you liked it and honored that you would even considering reading a second!

Thanks for the stop by, read, and wonderful comment!

Thomas


Millionaire Tips profile image

Millionaire Tips 4 years ago from USA

I didn't know writing at HubPages could be so dangerous! I have been waterboarded as you described ever since I started here, and I don't think I've ever used any A words. (except for "any", of course)


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Hi Tips...

I do believe they have multiple reasons for water boarding here at the hubs, including, but not limited to, because they just want to.

Since I realized they will disable my ads for content issues...that is my new thing...trying to get them to disable the ads without being too offensive thus causing them to de-publish the story. Yeah...weird hobby...

Thanks for the Read and Comment!

Thomas


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homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas

And this was a short one! I know about your long ones - they take a few visits to read. You have quite an imagination... leaving much unsaid!


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ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Cindy...

This IS a short one (now)...but when I wrote it...it WAS the long one in town. I have always felt that this one was the pro-type for a lot of the style that came afterward...but you know...I drink so who the hell really knows?

You are correct my friend...you have left much unsaid...well played...well played...

Thanks!

Thomas


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homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas

You are quite welcome ... for you always make me smile!


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Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

This is hilarious, when you said it was a short story, I thought 'just the ticket before I go to bed' haha it is now way passed my bedtime. And I doubt I'd be able to sleep with 'A' words running through my head. Lol

I love your sense of humour so I have to follow now and read some more.

Thanks for the laugh


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ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Rosemay...

Most important issue first...is that a Great Pyrenees in your avatar picture? Certainly beautiful and calm looking!

I apologize for any lost sleep on this one! Floating A words, elevated word counts...these are hazardous on R.E.M. stuff.

I am very happy I was able to inspire a giggle or snort and thank you for the follow!

Thomas


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thougtforce 4 years ago from Sweden

I like your humor and the descriptive way you tell the story of that poor hubber! It isn't always easy to know why and how:) Thanks for this wonderful hub, you are a very special and unique writer!

Tina


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ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Tina...

Thank you for your kind words and the read! I have found that the hows and the why get kind of mixed up...I'm taking it one story at a time...such is my learning curve!

I'm very glad you liked this!

Thomas


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Top marks... yes that is a great Pyreness, Nita. You couldn't get anything more calm.

At least the 'A's gave the sheep a night off Lol

Thank you for the return follow


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ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Rosemay...

The top marks are earned through piles of dog hair...the nose (that is) my avatar is actually the start of my own 125-pound Great Pyrenees...Truman. Nita is beautiful!

Thomas


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Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Well hello to Truman (after the cricketer?) I hope he isn't like Nita, she was 154 pounds and if she didn't want to move no way could you shift her. Many is the time I just had to vacuum around her. Lol In fact as you must know if we didn't vacuum for a month we would have wall to wall carpeting. They are great with kids and very a gentle breed


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ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

He is actually named after the 33rd American President. In fact...the stubbornness you mentioned (a Pyrenees trait) is why I named him Truman...the whole, "Buck stops here" thing. He was a rescue from the Humane Society...otherwise I would not have known of the breed. They are awesome!

Thomas


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fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

An Absolutely Amazing and Awful Article about" A" Announcing An Amorous, Assholes, Accuracy! and Arranging Another Answer Around Atrocious and Amiable Authorities Announcing An Awful Affront Aside An Angle After Arrangement.......................I Love this!! UP +++


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ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Paula,

These Are An Awesome Accouterments Accounting All 'A(s)' And Alphabetically Arranged Against All Americans At Alaskan Airports! oh...and Aardvark.

That was fun...I'm glad you liked this one!

Thomas


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

You absolutely S L A Y me..........ROFLMAO

I like the way you just randomly threw, "Aardvark" in at the tail end.

Yes it was fun....YOU are fun!!


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ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

hehehe...I was trying to come up with the perfect ending that might cause an inadvertent snot bubble to escape you after reading it (metaphorically speaking, of course.). Aardvark was the ticket. Mission Accomplished.

Thomas

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