Writing about My Least Favorite Subject: Me

Me in 1995

I am the third from the right. I was "Barney Fife," in our community theatre company: Kudzu Playhouse, based in Hamilton, Alabama
I am the third from the right. I was "Barney Fife," in our community theatre company: Kudzu Playhouse, based in Hamilton, Alabama | Source

Me in various situations in life

Enjoying my favorite hobby: Drinking coffee.
Enjoying my favorite hobby: Drinking coffee. | Source
Me visiting my favorite restaurant: Huddle House, in Hamilton, Alabama.
Me visiting my favorite restaurant: Huddle House, in Hamilton, Alabama. | Source
Me just sitting, thinking about the diseases I have.
Me just sitting, thinking about the diseases I have. | Source
Me eating ice cream at my daughter, Angie Nash's house.
Me eating ice cream at my daughter, Angie Nash's house. | Source
Me caught by Delores Millican's camera. She is the manager at Huddle House Hamilton, Alabama.
Me caught by Delores Millican's camera. She is the manager at Huddle House Hamilton, Alabama. | Source
Me, (right), and my good pal, David Holliday at our church.
Me, (right), and my good pal, David Holliday at our church. | Source

It's fair to say

We humans all have wants, needs, and desires of the heart. That can be good. And that can be a distraction to a productive life.

I am here to do three things: 1.) Try to write about myself, which is hard enough, but tell you in an honest spirit, that my days are numbered on earth. 2.) There are things that I wish people had said to me in my time on earth and 3.) things that I wish I had accomplished while I had the time and health.

I hope you do not think that I am being self-serving or self-centered. I am not. If any of you, my cherished followers, were to spend a day with me, you would see early on that I am telling the truth.

Why am I doing this?

Simple. I said that my days are numbered. I found this out at a recent visit to my family doctor. She said that I had an incurable disease in my circulation and vascular system whatever that is. And this disease is causing the bone in my left leg to eventually waste away and this same disease is already settled in my right leg and as my doctor saved the "big guns" for last. She said that this disease would also get into my heart and I would either pass away with a heart attack or congestive heart failure.

Am I scared? Not really. Not that I am boasting or looking forward to this trip, but why worry? Worrying will not and cannot change this situation. And people always bring Jesus into this problem. I don't mind that at all. I love Jesus. He is my savior and best friend. If He heals me, great. Praise His Holy name. And if He chooses not to heal me, great. Praise His Holy name.

I take comfort in the fact that He knows me and all about my sicknesses--this new one and the Fibromyalgia and Neurothopy I have fought since 2003.

I wanted this story to reveal, and maybe expose, things about me that I never confessed or wrote about to you.

Will doing this change my life? Probably not that much, but I will have the peace of mind that I was totally-honest and up-front to my precious followers.

Things I wish I had not done

I begin with the hard stuff. The shameful things that range from childhood (all that I can recall) to the teenage years where I thought I had it all figured out. Life that is. So sit back and laugh, talk about this story, or even pray if you like.

  1. Use up my mother's Fire Chief kitchen matches at age five. They were long and easy to strike. I was having a big time watching the flaming matches fall to the grown as I was pretending they were missiles shot in World War II. My fantasy was short-lived when my mother said, "give those matches to me. NOW!"
  2. Talk sassy to my dad who worked at many jobs to keep me fed and clothed. He never gave the whippings that I rightly-deserved. Now I wish he had. Then maybe my early years would have turned out better.
  3. Throw mud on his 1950 Ford when he was away at work. Mother was busy inside the house, so my imagination took over. I pretended the car was full of gangsters and I was the police using a special "Mud Bomb," that would get those thugs out of the car and sent to jail. My sister and mother eventually see me creating this disaster and scolded me away from the scene knowing that my dad "would" whip me good for messing up his valuable car. My sis and mother drew water from our well and washed all of the mud from the car. Dad got home and said very little about the puddles of water around his washed car. Thank you, Jesus!
  4. Ride into mother's kitchen in my blue, streamlined stroller and duck down just before the stroller and I disappeared underneath the table.
  5. Sneak to our barn one day without telling mother where I was going. She found me surrounded by dogs, chickens, and our mule, "Gray Bones," whom was enjoying the corn I was shucking and feeding her. Yes, mother scolded me. Actually, she scolded me most everyday. That's why I am openly-repenting for the mean deeds that I did as a child.

Things I wish I HAD done

1.) Pick my mother more flowers. She loved flowers. I was too busy getting causing mischief to give her some flowers to show her my appreciation for her.


2.) Kept my mouth shut more. When my parents had people visit, I was the one who ran around in the house screaming things I had heard on television westerns. Oh to give back the moments I robbed from my parents and friends.


3.) Be more loving and obedient. My sister was an ideal child. In every way. I wasn't. As I grew older and got into more trouble, I have said many times, "I wish that I had not been born," for if I were not here, my parents (and others) would not have had (this) trouble.


4.) Been more cooperative. I remember a lot of times that my parents would tell me to carry out a task and all that I did was argue. Oh, eventually I did the task, but only when my dad removed his brown belt from around is waist.


5.) Told my dad how much I loved him. Just one time would be sufficient for me.

Things I wish were said to me in my adult years

  1. ) "Kenny, that was a great job." I know this sounds selfish, but friends, I admit it. I am human. And sometimes a human needs to be encouraged. I have though, heard "good try," "good job," and "nice work," but never a "great job, Kenny." I guess that whatever work I was doing was only "good."
  2. ) "I wish I had a son like you." That one was a reach. In my teen years I was respectful to the mother's of what few male friends I had, but not one of them said this statement to me. Oh well. Another walk with my buddy, "failure."
  3. ) "You can manage this office, Kenny." I can remember only once, and for a very brief time, I was in charge of a newspaper office. The man who was the boss got fired leaving me to run things. Now I am not "blowing my own horn," but I put in more late-night hours getting things done to save money for the company than he did. But the permanent promotion didn't last. The company, (a secret to me), was "cleaning house," of the old hands and hiring teenagers who would work for minimum wage. I am still not over that tumble face-first downhill.


The Kudzu Playhouse (in this production) of: "Andy's Farewell," consisted of: (from left) Michelle Mills, "Janie Pimbershot," "AndyTaylor's" new wife; Clint Padgett; "Andy Taylor," Kenny Avery, "Barney Fife; Nena Gaby, "Mavis Neff," and the lady holding the program, I do not know her name except she was a dear friend of our theatre president, Clint Padgett. THE REASON I AM PUTTING THEIR NAMES IN THIS BOX IS FOR YOU TO GIVE THEM THE CREDIT FOR BEING SUCH GREAT THESPIANS, AND THAT I DIDN'T HAVE ROOM UNDERNEATH THE PHOTO TO TYPE THEIR NAMES.


Thank you Sincerely,

Kenny Avery

Things I wish I HAD said in my adult years

  1. ) "Buddy, keep that whiskey away from me." No explanation necessary.
  2. ) "Go to a party?" "No. Not tonight. My wife and I have plans." Again. No explanation necessary.
  3. ) "You are going to pay her more?" When I left my first newspaper job, I left by best friend, a talented brunette lady who taught me all about how a newspaper works. And after a few weeks at the other newspaper I was working, my then-editor came to me and said he was going to hire this lady who worked with me at the other paper and pay her more than me. "Is this going to bother you?" he asked. In a moment of stupidity, I replied, "Wy' no." I was too overjoyed to work with her again, but over the years I did some serious evaluation about her talents and mine. We were pretty equal. She might do one or two things better, but I have always wished that I had said, "Yes, this bothers me. You can pay us the same," instead of the opening phrase in this block: "You are going to pay her more?" That question didn't get my disappointment across to my editor.
  4. ) "I am having a great time." But this phrase didn't leave my lips. My now-deceased buddy and I had dates with two girls one time in mid-week and I was tired from working at my job and argued not to go. But he won by saying that his date, the older girl, was in charge of the younger girl, her niece and if she, the older girl couldn't go, neither could her niece. So I went. And after a night of giggling and talking, we parked at a local restaurant. My buddy and his date went inside to order our food while I stayed outside with the niece. She was a very pretty girl with long brown hair that caressed her shoulders. I was almost urged to kiss her, but I didn't. The out of the blue she said, "are you bored?" And again, out of the blue I replied, "yes, I am." She laughed. But I knew my stupid remark hurt her feelings. But 24 years later, I went to her workplace, a local dentist office to get a tooth removed and there she was. I apologized to her for my ignorance. She laughed and said she had forgotten about it. I also wrote a column for my paper about my stupid words and how much I appreciated the now-mature girl. I should have said to her when she asked if I were bored, "Are you kidding me? Give me a kiss, you hot babe!" I am sure that a 14-year-old would enjoy a taste of adulthood.


People I need to thank for making my life complete

  • God - for without Him, I wouldn't have been here.
  • My mom, dad, and sister - they endured me until they all passed away.
  • My high school friends - what few I had. They made me feel like I was actually "somebody."
  • My wife - She has done way too much for me, an undeserving man who has so many character flaws that he (talking about me), will have to be worked on until my last breath.
  • My true friends I worked with - Les Walters, managing editor of the Journal Record where I worked (or wasted) 23 years of my life. Tracy Estes, news editor, Ed Howell, staff writer, Kristi White, ad sales. (those from 1975 when I started in the paper business): Roger Quinn, publisher, who now publishes the huge daily paper, The Gadsden Times; Joy Emerson; Don Thrasher, publisher of the Northwest Alabamian who was our sister paper; Gary Taylor, a great friend and talented photographer and a heckuva guitar player; Kenny Hess, pressman; Phillip Brooks, production manager; Aaron Collins, assistant production manager and many more too numerous to mention.
  • My pastor and his wife, Bro. John Holliday and wife, Sis. Karin Holliday - for teaching me the simple things of Christianity.
  • Teresa Shewbart - my real best friend from high school.
  • Kenneth Stone - a true "good ol' boy," beer and all. But he was the quietest "good ol' boy" I've ever known.

And finally . . .

"Thank YOU, my Precious and Treasured followers of HubPages who have helped me, taught me, and had the faith and patience to take me and mold me into a real "hubber," amongst the "really talented," pro writers who are at the top of HubPages' list."

"Thank YOU, editors, staff, engineers of HubPages for letting me be "me" in my stories. I think your website is the BEST of the best when it comes to being the perfect outlet for amateur (like me) and professional writers."

Sincerely,

Kenny Avery

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Comments 18 comments

Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

Kenny, that was a great job. It must have been difficult to write this, and it humbles me to read it. You have and still do touch hearts, and make people laugh with your wonderful hubs, and I hope you can continue to do so. Don't give up, you never know what God has in store, but I'll put in a word or two for you in my prayers. A touching hub, voted up.


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 2 years ago from the South

Kenneth, you are way too hard on yourself. We all screw up in life and it doesn't sound like you did anything that bad! Just normal "human" behavior. I'm so sorry for your recent health problems, but hang in there. You have toughed out some serious health battles and will do it this time too. Love you, my dear friend.


lupine profile image

lupine 2 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Kenneth, You must have written this because you found it necessary. We have all done things, then later think that we should have done differently. The fact is, we did what we did, that's in the past. Please don't have any regrets...you are loved just the same. You have done many great things, I am sure of it. You are my favorite hubber and true friend. I'm not ready to let you go...so plan on sticking around for a while more.


mgt28 profile image

mgt28 2 years ago

Kenny it was fun reading your hub despite the seriousness it deserves. You are always a generous writer under all circumstances. Apparently I have recently realized the importance of saying, " I am having a great time" . I will re-read this hub.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Jodah,

Many sincere thanks to you for what you said about this work. And yes, do throw a few words into your prayers for me. I am very sure that your prayers are heard and answered.

You, judging by your words, are a good soul.

Thanks for your friendship and support.

God bless you.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest Catgypsy,

I guess you are right. I am too hard on myself, but I wanted to maintain an honest frame of mind as I wrote this.

I wish I were perfect, but no mortal is. I guess if we were perfect, our ego would never let us ask God for help.

I love you too.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear lupine,

Sweetie, you are way too kind to me. I am humbled by your comments. I admit that your comments and those of my followers serve as my "fuel" for going at life another day.

God bless you my friend for being so good to me.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, mgt28,

Thank you from my heart for your kind comments. I sincerely appreciate you taking time to read my work, but to comment as well.

I pray that God blesses you and all of my followers with the richest of blessings.

Visit with me anytime.


grand old lady profile image

grand old lady 2 years ago from Philippines

Dear Kenneth Avery, thank you for sharing your life with us, your wishes and your regrets. This took so much courage, and someone is gonna read it and do one of the things you wished you'd done, and another will read it and have a greater appreciation of life. This hub is like ripples in the water. It will go far beyond its actual size and surpass your expectations.


lupine profile image

lupine 2 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Kenneth, this hub does serve as a wake up call, to do whatever we know is right, to do and say what we really feel. Also, to be kind. Thank you, my dear friend Kenneth, for the reminder. Life is too short. Praying for your best of health.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

grand old lady (who is not old),

Thanks for the sweet comments. I appreciate you so much. I just wrote from the heart.

You have a great gift to make people feel good about themselves.

God bless you.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Sweet lupine,

Where have you been? I remember when you and I commented a lot. Are you okay? I hope so.

Oh, and thank you, dear heart, for the warm comments. You have made my day. God bless you, My Dear Lupine. :)


lupine profile image

lupine 2 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Dearest Kenneth, Yes, I am doing well, and thank you for your concern. I don't get on here as often as I would like...been working. Please write to me anytime; it will always be my pleasure to hear from you, dear friend.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

My DEAR lupine,

I am the one who should apologize for being so slothful in getting on here. I am sorry, my dear friend. I am grateful that you are doing well. That cheers me up so much. What kind of work do you do?

I want you to be careful as you go back and forth to work for we do not live in a safe world, my dear.

Oh, and may I ask you a favor. Would you email me a photo of you. I have never viewed your picture. I promise that only I will see it. Thanks and I will write you often, but you have to write me anytime too.

Thank YOU for being My Dear Friend and Follower.


lupine profile image

lupine 2 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Kenneth, I will be careful, I appreciate your concern. I drive in lots of traffic all day. Will email a photo soon.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest lupine,

In all of the time that I have known you, I have never "just" said things to be saying them. I have been truthful to you and I DO want you to be careful going to your job and back home. Fact is, I don't want any harm to come to you.

You are a terrific friend, talented writer and loyal follower.

Take care and I will be looking for the photo.

Thanks a million.


lupine profile image

lupine 2 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Kenneth, I know you're sincere in your kind words and thoughts to me, and to the rest of your followers. Thank you friend! I also mean what I say and want the best of health for you. Your hubs have been very entertaining, informative, humorous. I love the titles you come up with.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest lupine,

You are a sweet angel to me. You have NEVER said anything negative to me in your thoughts and comments.

Thank you, DEAR lupine.

So grateful that we are friends and that is for life too.

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