The Old Pirate
An English sailor and a peg-legged, hook-handed, patch-eyed pirate met in a bar. The sailor asked the pirate how he got the peg leg.
“Arr, we were on a ship at sea, an’ a great storm came up, an’ I were washed over the side. An’ as me mates were pullin’ me back on board, a great shark bit this ‘ere leg off clean below the knee an’ that’s ‘ow I got this ‘ere peg leg. Arr”
“Oh that’s terrible, but how did you get that hook hand?”
“Arr, we were on a ship at sea raidin’ a freighter, an’ the swords an’ sabers were slashin’ an’ swingin’ an’ some’ow in the fracas I got this ‘ere hand cut off at the wrist an’ that’s ‘ow I got this ‘ere ‘ook. Arr”
Oh that’s awful, but how did you get that patch eye?”
“Arr, I were walkin’ down the beach one day , an’ it were a bee-yoo-tee-ful day, an’ the sun were shinin’ an’ the wind were blowin’ through me ‘air, an’ as I looked up at th’ bee-yoo-tee-ful blue sky, a great seagull flew o’er me and dropped a shit in this ‘ere eye an’ that’s ‘ow I got this ‘ere patch. Arr” “You mean after all you’d been through you lost your eye to a seagull?” “Weeeellll, it were me first day wi’ the ‘ook.”
Like this one !! and 'she' loved it !! good one for second language speakers as they all know the stereotypical pirate
Ye forgot the parrot, man. Every self-respecting pirate chief has a parrot.
by donotfear3 weeks ago
Okay, so I wanna get permanent eye brows. Mine are so light you cannot see them. I have to draw them on. Know anyone who has ever had permanent eyebrows and the results? I would think they would fade, much like tattoos.
by fierycj7 years ago
On Wednesday morning, I woke up with his slight, but uncomfortable sensation in my left eye, like a speck or something of the sort, I tried dipping my face in water, with my eyes wide open like a gazillion times, but I...
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