Letter Of Complaint To The Restaurateur - An Indignant Poem
Do You Ever Feel You've Been Caught By A Restaurant?
Here's The Background Story:
The year was 2009 when I went to a pizza restaurant
Because Pizza Puttanesca was not on the menu, I ordered a standard cheese and tomato pizza (Margherita) and asked for "extras" - capers and anchovies - to build it up into my own Puttanesca, which I love for its strong flavour.
They were a bit mean with the extras but not with their pricing.
The cost of the Pizza was about £4.50 and they charged me a further £3.50 for a very few capers and even fewer anchovies - virtually doubling the price for the meagre toppings.
I paid but flew into a hissy fit!
I Got It Out Of My System By Writing The Poem Below
.......but I never actually wrote the letter
This is one of a series of letters I never wrote
You know the sort of letter -
it would be sent to a newspaper
and be signed
"yours disgustedly"
Letter Of Complaint To The Restaurateur
We ate in your very ordinary restaurant
In unexceptional Muswell Hill
Just a normal Margherita,
The service run-of-the-mill.
The only extravaganza
Four capers and three anchovies
Scattered on the top -
An extra which cost
Just less than the pizza.
How crass to fleece the public
In a recession;
Don't you make any concession
Like going the extra mile -
Service with a smile and not
A grasping fist?
You won't see me for gold dust
.....Ever again
© Diana Grant 13 September 2009
This is What A Saucer Of 3 Mashed Anchovies And 10 Capers Looks Like - Not Very Much, Is It?
A Few Anchovies and Capers Costing £3.50? Don't Make Me Laugh!
I call that "Daylight Robbery"
They couldn't cost more than 35p so if a restaurateur were to charge 3 times the cost, or even 4 times (£1 - £1.35), I would consider that reasonable, as it includes overheads, but £3.50? - that's a profit of 100-fold, or 1,000%.
Am I The Only One To Make A Stand And Complain?
Do you think it's reasonable for a restaurant to charge almost as much for a small dish of extra anchovies as the whole pizza - what do you think?
It might be only a small amount of money in the scheme of life, but is the principle worth at least a complaint or a disapproving comment, maybe even a refusal to pay more than £1.50 (that's about $2.50)? Do you cough up and go quietly, or would you make a fuss?
If You Felt Cheated By Having To Pay An Excessive Amount For Extras, Would You Complain To The Management?
Luncheon of the Boating Party By Pierre-Auguste Renoir
