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A Must Read For Men | How To Be Hot! You Must Be Hot!

Updated on May 28, 2009

Congratulations! The goals of women's liberation have been achieved and even exceeded, in an entirely superficial sense. If you spend a little bit of time browsing the Interwebs, you will notice that there's an invasion afoot. An invasion of content regarding the perfect man.

This content is not shy in telling men how to be hot, or in telling women how to find these incredibly hot men. It seems innocent enough if you don't think about it and simply keep humming Miley Cyrus tunes to yourself, blocking out all rational thought.

What these articles are really doing is essentially letting both men and women know that men are the new women. Not in the sense that men can now be sensitive, and cry some times, and get all moody once a month and have priority in escaping a sinking ship, (don't be silly,) no, just in the sense that they can be treated like pieces of meat with breeding potential.

Articles written about women wanting 'hot' men, and spouting shallow rhetoric about what makes a man hot are highly amusing to me. These articles are generally written almost exclusively by women and effectively turn men into semi-functional objects of lust.

Look at the media around you. You'll see plenty of articles about what makes a man sexy, because that is perfectly acceptable. You won't see too many articles about how to find a smart man, or a kind man, or a man who is a nice person, because, heck, who cares? The quiet undercurrent is obvious, it is fine for women to regard men as masculine Ken dolls, but it is in no way okay for men to be portrayed as anything less than testosterone jacked Adonises.

We've actually managed to swing the pendulum of sexism completely in the opposite direction. Where once it was okay for men to openly discuss a woman's assets, men who do this are now regarded as being utter pigs, unfit for the company of any woman. On the other hand, women who oogle men, commenting on their hot bodies and requiring that any potential partner be built like a lumberjack and have the mind of a poet laureate, get away scot free.

The downside of this delusional thinking is that some women actually buy into the illusion and miss out on perfectly good men because these men haven't read the manly man manual of the new millenium, and instead chase the few men who do fit the mold. The men lucky enough to be smart enough to appear to be urbane and witty, and with a genetic profile prone to chiseled features and washboard abdominals welcome these women with open arms, mowing through them, breaking hearts, making mascara run and fathering screeds of illegitimate children (in so far as any human can be considered illegitimate.)

But, I digress. The point here, is that instead of learning how to value women as complete people, all we've actually done is treat men in the same shallow, wrong headed way that men treated women for so long. Two wrongs don't make a right, y'all.



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