Bounce: Getting Over Being Hurt

Get over being hurt.
Get over being hurt.

It so easy to look around at the world and allow ourselves to become convinced that mankind is evil. It’s quite easily confirmed that friends or loved ones will betray you, politicians will continue to lie, your money will be stolen and the planet will be left in ruins due to greed and a total disregard for life. The horrors of the world, if you focus on them, can break your heart. And you don’t have to look too far for evidence.

Of course, sometimes you don’t even have to leave your house to get your heart broken. Sometimes heartbreak and pain comes knocking at your door.

I’ve been hiding under the bed, not answering the door. Not checking the mail. Not answering the phone.

But denial only works for so long. Eventually you have to come out of the shadows of fear and tend to the issues at hand. Step into the light of day and deal and let the pain come.

Denial is a magical thing. It allows you to build the castle of your life in the clouds and ignor the true reality that has you cornered. It isn’t until you choose to carefully look around that you notice where you are and  there's no one with you, not really. Hey, so what? All is well. You’re the queen after all. Your kingdom is lovely. You haven’t aged a bit since age 25. Your crown is sparkling and your eyes are hopeful. Empty, but hopeful.

Eventually it will come crashing down. And when it does, what are you going to do?

Torn: Natalie Imburglia

"Illusion never changed into something real...I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn" -Natalie Imburglia

Do you lay there on the ground, waiting for some one to come along and take pity on you in all your brokenness?

No. You get up. And maybe it takes awhile, but you do it. You get up. Straighten out that tarnished tiara. Brush the dust from your not-so-youthful-face. Smooth out the layers of your once stylish dress. Be on your way. No one can tell you your reign is over. It’s your choice.

Maybe right now you're thinking, Amy, I can’t pick myself up again. I’ve fallen too far this time. Last time I fell in a pond, but this time it was ice. It hurts. Why get up when it just keeps happening? I’ll just lay here. Eventually something will change.

I know. Life is brutal. It just doesn’t work the way we think it should. There are often no answers for why things happen. Good people suffer. Thieving people continue to thrive. One look at the starry sky or a beautiful sunset and the feeling that something IS NOT RIGHT is undeniable. How can the world be so beautiful and so badly broken?

Learn to Bounce

When I was a kid my dad tried to teach me to play tennis. Over and over he would tell me to be the ball . Be the ball. That’s all I remember about tennis really. Be the ball. Anticipate where the ball is going next. Have a plan. Be ready.

So I’m the ball, but I never seem to be able to anticipate where I’m going to land or how hard the next swing will be. I get stuck in the net and try to wiggle myself free. The score doesn’t matter much. I’ve been hearing the word “out” a little too often.

Clearly, I misinterpreted the lesson. I was supposed to learn how to bounce. Or just play tennis.

Bounce back. Don’t allow yourself to get smacked around day after day for the pleasure of someone else, until one final backhand renders you a useless lump in the center of the court..

You can’t lose your bounce. The game is over if you can’t bounce .


A New Beginning

Are you ready for a new start? Whether we're talking about your personal life, our country, or the world at large, it's time. A fresh start is long overdue. If this past year has brought you personal or financial loss, heartbreak or tragedy, it doesn’t have to define your future. It has changed you, for sure. Let it make you stronger, not stranger. Be resilient, not bitter.

  • You don’t have to be the person you were.
  • You don’t have to deny what needs fixing.
  • You don’t have to keep making the same mistakes you made last year, or possibly all of your life (I’m raising my hand on that one).
  • You can change. You can bounce again.

It’s okay if your dreams didn’t come true and the castle of your life fell out of the sky. I assure you, you are in good company. Dream a new dream. Start over. Rebuild. Just do it on the ground this time, okay?

You can still be queen, king or whatever over your life. Who’s gonna tell you you can’t? And if they do, why listen? Maybe they're looking for a new ball to hit. Tell them exactly what they can do with their racket. Offer to assist.

I don’t know what type kind of crap is going to show up at my front door (or yours) next year. I’m not going to hide from it this time. I’m going bounce right up and answer, racket in hand. (kidding!)

I’ll answer now, with the strength and the wisdom that I have obtained from dealing with the crap that came to the door last year. I’m ready now.

Bring it on.

Learn to Bounce with the Experts

Now I'd like to invite you to practice bouncing with me. Literally. The following video will help. Get up now and bounce around the room. I promise, you will not be able to be cranky after this! 

PHISH: Bouncing Around the Room

The New Year marks my first anniversary here at HubPages. Although I have been absent for the past few months due to a personal crisis, there are a few Hubbers that have stood by me and encouraged me throughout the year and I would like to thank them.  

My friends, StephHicks, Robie2 and Solar Shingles.

My far off friends who have sent their love from the other side of the globe: Ripplemaker and Dayzebee, and the social (networking)  butterflies LDSNana and In The Doghouse.

Thank you all for hanging in there with me through the tough times.

Thanks to all my friends and readers here at HubPages for being a bright spot in my life this year.

May the New Year bring the best to you all!

More by this Author


Comments 42 comments

rockinjoe profile image

rockinjoe 7 years ago from Standing right behind you!

Nice Hub, Amy Jane. I'm look forward to MUCH reinvention in 2009. And you're right, you can't be cranky after bouncing around the room with Phish.


sheenarobins profile image

sheenarobins 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Hi Amy,

Very insightful. I'm on my way of getting up from a so long stuck on the net, 1 year to be exact. I didn't know which road to go. I tried different roads, but nothing seemed right. People that I loved seemed to move away from me. They stopped believing in me. They left and it hurts. I wanted to yell, "How could you leave me in the middle of my life?"

But you know what? I'm getting up now. This time it feels right. It fits. I'm back with a vengeance. That's on a positive note. Meaning, I'm better than the last time I made it to the top.

Lesson: Never stop believing in "YOU".


amy jane profile image

amy jane 7 years ago from Connecticut Author

Hi Joe, nice to see you again! There is something about phish...that song just makes me smile no matter how bad I feel. :)

Sheena, you are absolutely right - never stop believing in you! It's when we stop believing in ourselves and our ability to persevere that we get into deeper trouble. I admire you for your resilient spirit. I wish you the best in "getting up" and taking control of your life. It's inspiring that you are back with a vengeance!


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

Very well done my dear...."Reach for the Sun and, should you miss, You will still end up amongst the Stars"...Love and Happiness to all...MERRY CHRISTMAS and A HAPPY NEW YEAR ! ! !...G-Ma :o) Hugs


einron profile image

einron 7 years ago from Toronto, Ontario, CANADA

Hi!

"Bounce" is such an active verb. The dictionary says,"rebound, a leap, a spring, swagger, self assertion, to slam, to bully.

Great that you have a bounce in you to rebound. It shows that you have life in yourself in any situation to react.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

I am learning to bounce and it is a o.k., love the article!!


rmr profile image

rmr 7 years ago from Livonia, MI

Welcome back, amy jane. I had been wondering where you were. I'm glad you were able to bounce back!


dayzeebee profile image

dayzeebee 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Amy Jane here's a big welcome back hug hmmmm. I'm really happy to find you bouncing up and about. Thumbs up for this hub and a big round of applause for accepting things and moving forward. You are love and you are loved. I pray the coming year fill you with all the love that life offers. Know you are always in our thoughts and prayers. We are just an email away. Love you much:)


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Hi Amy... This is something I would do if you were here with me now... I'd pick both of your hands in mine and hold it tight and shout, "C'mon, Amy! Lets bounce!" And off we go up and down, up and down. After, I just want to give you a BIG hug and tell you I am so proud of you. Yes, it's going to be a beautiful new year. We will make it bright for us and for those around us. You are loved. :-)


Rob Jundt profile image

Rob Jundt 7 years ago from Midwest USA

Amy Jane: This was such a welcome read on a cold (literally) morning! -- You are so true about life in all its brokenness; for we do live in a fallen world. However... if it were not for the brokenness, there would be no need for redemption! -- As you say, life is hard. If it's not, you're probably living in a cave with pizza, twinkies, and ice cream magically appearing, a library of great books to read, and the love of your life there with you... But since the rest of us don't live in that world, we all have to do this thing called life TOGETHER. Life is a TEAM sport. We were created for relationship and community. My prayers are for your bounces to be HIGH and MANY! Many of us have missed your wonderful work!


robie2 profile image

robie2 7 years ago from Central New Jersey

You go girl!!! Lovely to see you here on hubpages with such bounce in your step and that tiara looks just great:-) It is said that denial is the shock absorber of the soul and I have found that to be true-- we can only absorb painful stuff as quickly as we can and no faster.....it's really a protective mechanism that works fine as long as we eventually accept reality--which we all have to do in the end anyway so thanks for this beautiful inspiring description of letting go of denial and embracing reality even when it hurts. It's a brave, beautiful piece of writing that rings of personal truth.

{{{{{{Amy}}}}}}}


Melissa G profile image

Melissa G 7 years ago from Tempe, AZ

Amy, thank you for this heartfelt and wise advice. I tend to deflate in the face of adversity, but your story has inspired me to bounce instead. Thank you for having the strength and resiliency to write this.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 7 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

This is a wonderful piece of writing, Amy. I believe you describe the pain and isolation of every person on the planet who has been frightened into the seeming haven of denial. You touched my heart deeply with your personal account. I applaud your courage in both telling your story and journeying into bouncing back. I've missed you here on HP!


Amanda Severn profile image

Amanda Severn 7 years ago from UK

Amy Jane,

It's good to bounce back. I hope 2009 is a great year for you. Merry Christmas, and wishing you fun times in the New Year.


FlyingPanther profile image

FlyingPanther 7 years ago from here today gone tomorrow!!

Hi great hub. I just got my heart broken "again" will I bounce back of course i will but in time live and learn as they say.

best regards.

Panther


ajcor profile image

ajcor 7 years ago from NSW. Australia

Amy Jane Thank you for having the courage to write so clearly and beautfiully from your heart - the name of your hub intrigued me - Bounce says it all - about your spirit and attitude to life - I hope that 2009 is everything you want it to be and more....cheers.


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 7 years ago from North America

When it's either bounce or break, bounce is best.

Welcome back, Amy Jane!


amy jane profile image

amy jane 7 years ago from Connecticut Author

Thank you all for the sweet and encouraging words! You have motivated me to bounce even more. Your comments have warmed my heart on this snowy evening and I am feeling so blessed. I don't seem to have the right words at this moment to explain. So I am sending hugs all around instead. :)

It is so good to be back among friends.


stephhicks68 profile image

stephhicks68 7 years ago from Bend, Oregon

Amy, you bring tears to my eyes often with your heartfelt words. I woke up sad this morning and am determined to "bounce back" right away after reading this. You are a dear, special person and I wish you such a Merry Christmas and a MUCH BETTER 2009!! :)

Steph


solarshingles profile image

solarshingles 7 years ago from london

Dear Amy, you are a hero! As a very busy mom you fought your personal crisis and won it graciously. I am very proud of you, because you did it in your own way. More you take the responsibility in your own hands, more you feel in control over your own life. You did it, Amy! Huge crisis was/is always a huge new opportunity for a person who is willing to seek for a positive solution. Hubpages community has catalyzed many very creative friendships which work very well. I am honored to be named as one of your friends, Amy. Thank you!

p.s.

Let me use some web2.0 tricks to bring some new visitors to read this wonderful BOUNCE hub. And as Patty Inglish said, I just want to repeat: "When it's either bounce or break, bounce is best."


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 7 years ago from Central Oklahoma

Ditto to what stephhicks said!

Whacking a bed forcefully and repeatedly with a baseball bat was a method recommended for bouncing back when my own world fell apart. Another was going out into the middle of nowhere and screaming my guts out. Both work *very well* to clear the mind of anger that can keep you from getting past the heartache.


PenmanZee profile image

PenmanZee 7 years ago

Thank you Amy. Your words were quite apropos, given what I as a person, we as a nation, and the world in general is going through right now.


Greatlife profile image

Greatlife 7 years ago

What an interesting article, i love the way you have put it. As a kid i was guarded from all evil by my parents, and when i faced the world on my own it took from me all the innocence that was left of me. however the world is always gray and wants to take the best of you have the fighting spirit. When somehting bad happens to you never forget the lesson that it has taught you. At the end of the day you are stronger and wiser. once again gr8 hub and god bless...


Barbie-Perkins profile image

Barbie-Perkins 7 years ago from Cincinnati, OH

Amy,

You are on your way. Bouncing back with a positive outlook on life and time will bring healing. 

God Bless you Amy,  ~ Barbie Perkins


C.S.Alexis profile image

C.S.Alexis 7 years ago from NW Indiana

I too am bouncing, 2008 has been a tough one. Here's wishing you peace and happiness as you bounce! C.S. Alexis


akibahoward profile image

akibahoward 7 years ago from Sacramento

I'M BOUNCING!!!! I'M BOUNCING!!!! LOL!

Hi Amy. I can only say thank you. It's interesting how 'you get JUST what you need, at the moment you NEED IT', and THIS Hub was right up my nights' alley!

I clearly NEEDED to bounce. WHEW. Now, back to moving a little slower. About to turn 41, can't Bounce like I used to ....ROFL!

Nice to 'meet' you.

Akiba


Bruce Elkin profile image

Bruce Elkin 7 years ago from Victoria, BC Canada

Hi Amy. THanks for this, and especially for the Phish video. I loved it.

I've been a big Greatful Dead/Jerry Garcia fan for years. Used to listen to 2 hours of Dick's Picks (all Dead tunes) on the radio every sunday morning. Then, one Sunday, I cranked up the radio, and … new age music! The station had switched formats over night. Yuk!

Funny thing, though, I've never actually heard a Phish tune, and new I was listening to it. Don't know why. Just didn't. But now I have and love it.

So thank you!


TLC Grandparent profile image

TLC Grandparent 7 years ago from Maryland, USA

Thanks Amy. I needed that message. And that's a fun energetic song. Bounce back from hard times!

This reminds me of that wonderful Pixar short film named Boundin', where the lamb gets shaved and learns to bounce. http://www.pixar.com/shorts/bdn/index.html


sschilke profile image

sschilke 7 years ago

Amy,

Glad to see you back. Bounce on.

sschilke


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

I love your word and phrasing choices in this inspiring hub! You've demonstrated your own resilience by coming back to HP and sharing such amazing wisdom with us. Thank you. I feel more rubberized already, and it's only Jan. 2! Thanks!!


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 7 years ago from Anaheim, CA

What an inspirational message! I cannot find words worthy to comment on this beautifully written Hub. It was like you opened your heart and let us take a look inside. Sounds to me like you have already decided that 2009 is going to be a better year for you so keep on bouncing! I know I will. Thanks for that.


amy jane profile image

amy jane 7 years ago from Connecticut Author

Thank you all for your wonderful comments and encouragement! I got stuck in the net again for a few days, but after reading these I am ready to get back to bouncing!

I am glad to be back at hubpages. Even if I can't write as often as I would like, it sure is nice to have an online " home" like this.


Willis Whitlock 7 years ago

Great post. Everybody is a failure some times. We don't have to give up and be losers.


amy jane profile image

amy jane 7 years ago from Connecticut Author

Thanks Willis. One of my favorite lines from The Lord of the Rings goes something like that too (though I can't remember it at the moment)! We can't ever give up. There is always hope.


elitesystem profile image

elitesystem 7 years ago from VA, USA

nice hub! great inspiration!


britneydavidson profile image

britneydavidson 7 years ago from united kingdom

hi amy

this is really wonderful.i dont have any nice words to explain it just can say

its amazing.thanx for adding such a nice hub.please continue.thanx again.


amy jane profile image

amy jane 7 years ago from Connecticut Author

Thank you both - I'm glad you were inspired by my bouncing! I hope you will bounce too. :)


MaryAnne09 7 years ago

Great article! May your pear be the best!


amy jane profile image

amy jane 7 years ago from Connecticut Author

Thank you MaryAnne!


creationtheory 7 years ago

Wow lovely written hub. I especially love the way you put life into the idea of the ball and that we are able to bounce back. The ball also can go high and low depending on how much stength we have to go on. Great article, and I hope all is going great for you now and that you are bouncing high!

All the best to you!


amy jane profile image

amy jane 7 years ago from Connecticut Author

Thanks so much, Creationtheory. I hadn't thought of the high/low of the bouncing ball! That could be an entirely new hub. :) I am doing better, but now I am thinking that I would like to bounce higher...and higher!


Alex Singleton profile image

Alex Singleton 5 years ago from Surf City USA CA

: )good encouragement thxs

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