The Best Way to Break Up with a Girl

Ready to drop some female deadweight? Congrats, dude! You're on to something! Trust me, you'll be better off, and to be honest, so will your girlfriend. When a relationship doesn't work, there's no point in drawing it out.

Of course, cutting things off is still a tactically difficult move, so I completely understand if you're feeling a bit hesitant to take the leap. But worry no more- I'm here to show you the easiest and best ways to break up with a girl.

The approaches outlined below are ideal for both you and the female party involved. I can't guarantee that they'll be entirely painless or foolproof, but they're much better than many other ways you might break things off.

Ready? Let's DO this!


Breaking Up

The best way to break up with a girl is difficult up front, but easiest in the long run. The key to being successful is to maintain a healthy sense of perspective.

Yeah, this is going to suck, but by taking one for the team now, future suckitude shall be avoided.

Here's what you have to do, in two easy steps:

Step 1: Fire a Warning Shot

Tell your girlfriend you need to talk and schedule a meeting somewhere close and convenient. Do not plan an extravagant date, but rather something that can be short. Using the "We need to talk" line may seem dreadfully stale, but in this case, cliches are helpful in that they give advanced warning that something serious is about to go down. You essentially want your girlfriend to know that you will break up with her ahead of time so that she is mentally prepared for what is to come. In the name of courtesy, try to schedule this meeting as soon as possible. It would be cruel to extend any potential dread unnecessarily.


Step 2: Break it Off

At this short, serious meeting, explain that you are not meant for each other. Be genuine and gentle, but do not go into detail. This was just not meant to be. Trying to explain the specifics of WHY you want to break up is not going to help anything, so if she asks, remember to stay on point: this was not meant to be. Going into detail is only going to make things more painful and lead to hurt feelings. This is not a negotiation, so your reasoning is not required.


If you are in a more committed relationship (e.g. You have been together for a long time or you live together) you should adopt the same approach, but be prepared for more drama. You might actually want to have the breakup meeting take place at her place so that she can enjoy more privacy- and so that you may leave at an appropriate time.

If you are living together, you may need to pack and be prepared to stay in a remote location until you work out the dissolution of your assets. As you are the breakup-er, it is your duty to do the leaving.

If you are in a less formal relationship (e.g. Occasionally snogging in the hallways at school) and no not typically even go on dates, buy her a drink or cookie from the cafeteria or a vending machine, step away from your gaggle of friends, and steadily break the news to her. It is ideal if you do this at the end or the day, perhaps after school just let out, so that if she gets emotional, she won't have to sit through AP Calculus whilst attempting to overcome an emotional shock.

Not Recommended


How NOT to Break Up with Your Girlfriend

Let's sum this up by outlining some ways in which you should NOT break up with your girlfriend.

Bad Breakup Formats

  • By text (unless you have only been on a couple of dates and have not formed an actual relationship)
  • By email (unless it is an online message only relationship)
  • By carrier pigeon (they're pretty unsanitary)

Bad Breakup Scenarios

  • While on a vacation (yes, I know the very idea of breaking up with someone on a vacation is totally idiotic, but it has happened to close friends of mine, and boy, is it ever the worst way to go)
  • In the middle of a destination date that requires a long ride home
  • While at your house (this would require you to ask the girl to leave after a while if she dawdles around, which will make you look like even more of a jerk)
  • While separated across oceans, out of the blue (if you have any inkling that your relationship will end after being subjected to the long-distance treatment, it would be wise to break things off before leaving)

Bad Breakup Behavior

  • Do NOT turn your breakup into a fight. Your goal should be to remain the perfect gentleman throughout this entire exchange, whether the girl is behaving well or not
  • Do NOT get angry or defensive. Remain calm and cordial, listen to what she has to say, but keep your message simple and firm.
  • Do NOT go back on your decision. If you're breaking up with a girl, you had better be sure that you want to break up with her.

Bad Breakup Lines (avoid these if at all possible)

  • "It's not you, it's me!" (gag!)
  • "I think we should see other people" (This may be misleading as it suggests that you may someday be together again)

Are you cringing at the realization that you've made one or more of the above breakup mistakes? Don't worry. I have, too. Live and learn.

It might hurt, but you've gotta do it.
It might hurt, but you've gotta do it. | Source

GO for it!

Like I said, breaking up with a girl isn't easy, especially since girls tend to be more adept at getting theatrically emotional in such situations. Don't let the waterworks stop you. You're a guy, so man up. Seriosuly.

When you do go for it, be sure to come back and let me know how it went! Alternately, if you have any tactics that have worked well in the past, let us know about them in the comments. I'm all for crowdsourcing this problem!

Good luck, and watch out for those nails... they can get sharp!

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Comments 31 comments

prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 5 years ago from malang-indonesia

Nice information. Thanks for share with us. ~prasetio

Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

Thanks, prasetio!!

Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 5 years ago from North Carolina

Great advice, Simone. I've always been a total WIMP when it came to breaking it off with someone, LOL Nice humor, too.

Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

Hehee- I appreciate that, Denise Handlon! I've historically been a wimp with this stuff too, but the great thing about having that past is it's pretty safe to say that we've both realized how important it is to be blunt up front... we see just how bad it can be when we aren't!

Chatkath profile image

Chatkath 5 years ago from California

Very good idea for a hub Simone! What guy knows how to break up with a girl without causing major damage or lying ;) Good Job!

Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

Thanks Chatkath! I don't imagine the process is easy. Though perhaps breakups with extra collateral damage and lying make for better stories down the line.... :D

Garrett Mickley profile image

Garrett Mickley 5 years ago from Jupiter, Florida

When I was a freshman in college, my midterm paper for ENC1101 was "How To Convince Your Girlfriend To Break Up With You". I'm sure I have a copy somewhere, I'll see if I can find it and post it up as a Hubpage.

Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

That's brilliant, Garrett Mickley! DO make a Hub of that paper- and let me know when you publish it! I'd love to link to it from this guide :D

Garrett Mickley profile image

Garrett Mickley 5 years ago from Jupiter, Florida

Thanks! I tried publishing it but I posted it years ago on another site that I can't remember the log in for. Until I can get that info and get back on that old site to delete it, I can't publish here, unless I rewrite it (which I'll probably do).

Garrett Mickley profile image

Garrett Mickley 5 years ago from Jupiter, Florida

Hey Simone, all things are cleared up. Here's a link:

Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

Fabulous! I've added it in a links capsule :D

Garrett Mickley profile image

Garrett Mickley 5 years ago from Jupiter, Florida

Thanks so much! I bet I'm going to get a bajillion hits!

Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

lolol my traffic is surprisingly anemic T______T

Mansi2512 profile image

Mansi2512 5 years ago from Bangalore,India

Girls are very emotional. Break-up seems extremely sad, but if a person is unhappy..then its good too. Good ideas. Voted up.

Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

True 'dat, Mansi2512! Thanks for voting up :D

Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

I agree! But it's better to be proactive than to draw it out, methinks.

ImYoungAtHeart profile image

ImYoungAtHeart 5 years ago from midwest US

Very well written with lots of good advice. Much better than the ignordumps so many guys pull on a girl. I hope more guys will read it. And I will add this link to my hub too on "Developing Online Relationships". Thanks

Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

I think there's no stopping some dudes, but they're only hurting themselves in the long run! I'll have to check out your Hub on developing online relationships, ImYoungAtHeart!

selfdefenselesson profile image

selfdefenselesson 5 years ago

Great advice Simone!

I might try out the pigeon thing just for the fun of it.. lol that just made me sound like a bad person. :-P

Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

Hahaa, thanks selfdefenselesson, you heart breaker, you!

naturalsolutions 5 years ago

Simone you just done a great hub. It is really hard to break up a girl but thanks to this hub. It explains everything. Nice one;)

Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco Author

Thanks naturalsolutions! I wager it's hard to break up with anyone. But if life were easy, it would be dreadfully boring, right? So I'm thankful for challenges like these.

loveonline profile image

loveonline 5 years ago

Not that I've ever done it but personally I like the old 'facebook' way of breaking up :)

NiaLee profile image

NiaLee 5 years ago from BIG APPLE

Ok,sharp, clear, structured a great hub! ONly little point sometimes, you seem to treat that girl like a movie or a freak show!lol But I do agree with the fact that this hub makes it better for both parties and can be used by girls too! I guess, it should be called "how to break up" and meant to be used by everybody...though some situations may become dangerous for a lady facing a jerk or a revengeful strong man!

Remember, we are all human!

honest_love12343 5 years ago

i am looking for good man who believe in God

vishal...k 4 years ago

i waana brk up wit my gf, bt shes gtng too emotional,, and im scared if some wrng hapns, or parents may come to know abt it......... ive tld hr abt r brkup.......and shes askng too many ques and nt ready to aggree. plz suggest.....

Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 4 years ago from San Francisco Author

Ruh-roh loveonline. Well, I suppose the Facebook method is good for drama!

Thanks NiaLee! And good point. I have the bias of seeing girls as both movies and freak shows, so that does skew my writing. These methods do go well for both genders, though. I know I'll be sticking to them!

And Vishal, I recommend just being honest and making as much of a clean break as possible.

Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 4 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

Awesome advice Sharon! Personally I hate it when I see people dragging their dead relationship because of fear of hurting the other person. What they do not realize is that by delaying they would only be increasing the hurt and pain. It is better to break off in one go... like pulling the band aid from the skin fast to reduce pain. Also by delaying, they are also ruining their own chances of finding a perfect mate. Voted up and tweeted!

Nits 4 years ago

Yeah I ha breakup and it is followed by drama. She has fallen ill and i cant leave her just like that so i went back advice wat should i do

Timothy Wyatt 4 years ago

Hm, I normally have waited for her to break up with me or some type of drama to end it, because I was a wimp to do this too.

Qwer 3 years ago

I had broke up with my partener but now she is crying and regreating a lot which make me sooooo dammn emotional and i even cant concentrate in my exams

She probeby deleted her account or blocked me on facebook

But she is damm regreating which even brings tears in my eyes

When i am alone my mind is just keep running there and i feel sooooooooo bad for her regrets

If i will patchup again then things will go normal but after some time i will suffer because of her emotinal drama or any thing..

Please suggest me what to do this situation is killing me

I cant see her like this man... :-,(

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