How To Get Your Man To Help With Housework
Even the most enlightened, feminist, egalitarian man can sometimes be problematic in a relationship because he doesn't seem to realize that the house isn't self cleaning. Women who don't want to live in filthy hovels can find this frustrating, especially if they end up doing the bulk of the cleaning simply because it needs to be done.
I have good news though, it is possible to get men to help with housework, and it's actually pretty easy to do. The first thing to do is not to say nothing, let tensions build up, and then release your household chore related rage in a screaming fit. Although it may seem as if the man in your life is leaving you to do all the work, he probably doesn't know that he is.
The simple fact is that men often don't see what women see. Whether it is a biological force at play, or merely socialization, I've noted time and time again over the years that most men don't have the same eye or regard for clean living quarters as women do. Of course, we are talking in generalities here. Some men are brilliant at helping around the house, but if you were with one of those men, you'd not likely need to be reading this article.
Is the view that sometimes men just can't see dirt sexist? Perhaps, but that won't change it from also being true in many cases. I am sure other women can attest to spending a decent portion of a day cleaning, to have the man in their lives come home and not notice that anything is different at all. You can vacuum the carpet, do the laundry, clean the shower and toilet, and mop the kitchen floor without some men thinking that anything has changed.
Women appear to, generally speaking, have a lower tolerance for mess and dirt in their home spaces. A pile of dirty clothes isn't just a chore to be done, its an eyesore that pulses at the edge of your consciousness, nagging at you until you wash it. To a guy, it's just another part of the house that isn't food.
So, here is what you do if you want a man to help with housework. First of all, you calmly mention the fact that you've been doing all the housework lately, or the bulk of it. This will put the idea in his mind that housework isn't something you've been doing for the fun of it. Next, you ask him for help when you want him to do something. If the dishes need to be done, ask him to do them, or better, ask him to help you do them. Don't do them yourself whilst getting all passively aggressively angry. This just bewilders men. If you clearly state what you want when you want it, you have a much better chance of him actually lending a hand. It's not nagging to make your desires known, it's just good communication.
After a while, the man in your life will come to realize what you want, and if he's a good guy (which most men are at heart) he will start to do tasks on his own without you mentioning it first. When this happens, show your appreciation. That might sound like odd advice, given that women very rarely recieve positive reinforcement simply for keeping their houses slightly more clean than the average slum dwelling, but it works.
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