How to Calm the Wrath of a Jealous Girlfriend
When one of the guys has a jealous girlfriend, it's not safe for anyone - especially if she blows up over nothing at all. Everyone is involved even if they don't think they are - the jealous girlfriend involves all of his friends and if she is upset with her boyfriend, she is upset with them all.
She knows all his friends numbers, and will call them if she can't get in touch with them. She knows his schedule like the back of her hand, and she will call him to make sure he's where he is supposed to be.
It's a very volatile situation and being in a relationship with a partner that is extremely jealous is very nerve wracking and sometimes not worth being a part of that relationship. To say that there are trust issues is putting it mildly, but that's for someone with much more degrees than I have. For now, let's focus on how to calm the wrath of a jealous girlfriend. This hub will cover the following topics:
- Is My Girlfriend Jealous?
- How to Deal with Jealousy
- Jealousy and Insecurity
Is My Girlfriend Jealous
I don't think any guy starts off a relationship with any fore-knowledge of if his new girlfriend has a jealous streak in her, sometimes jealousy lays dormant until the honeymoon of a blossoming relationship is over.
Sometimes it starts gradually, other times it's like a toggle switch that gets flipped on seemingly for no reason at all. Some guys won't even know what's coming until a full blown episode occurs because he was 30 minutes late, and didn't bother to call her and let her know.
Here are a few hints that your girlfriend might be having some issues with jealousy:
If your girlfriend is calling you 20 times a day to check on you, she is probably a jealous girlfriend. If she finds out that your work buddy Tony is really an Antoinette and she wants you to stop hanging out with her even though you've been working with Tony for six years and have been with her for 6 months - yeah, she's jealous.
If she watches you like a hawk when you go out, and wants to start a fight with any girl that talks to you - yes, even the waitress taking your order. I would say that she is jealous. If she feels you spend more time with your friends than with her, or if she doesn't know why you have to visit your mom at least a few times a month she may have a weird kind of jealousy issue there. If your girlfriend has some of these symptoms, you have a jealous girlfriend.
How to Deal with Jealousy
Jealous girlfriends are very clear on what they expect from their boyfriends - if you fall outside those lines, or if you cross the line because you didn't think that it was serious enough, you will suffer the wrath. If you just want to keep the peace, just know what the boundaries are, and play inside the lines.
If something new develops, make the adjustment, and stay within those lines. Use extra care around the issues that matter to her. If she doesn't like you kissing anyone, not even for social gatherings, don't do it. Once you're use to the arrangement, you get pretty quick in offering your hand to shake instead of dealing with a cheek to cheek. Your girl sees this, and knows that you love her.
There's no easy way to battle this head on, it just takes time. If your love is strong, it's a small consolation as long as the relationship is health and not abusive.
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Jealousy and Insecurity
Jealousy is closely linked to insecurity, and it may be something as simple as having a talk where each person will commit to boundaries, but that usually just side-steps all the issues.
Jealousy can be baggage that she brings to the relationship from an earlier relationship that she had with someone that wasn't faithful. That can turn on as soon as she feels that she is in love with you, or she may not be wanting to let herself get that far to avoid being hurt by you.
Jealousy coupled with insecurity is a pretty sick combination. Jealousy seems to be more of the aggressive state while insecurity is more of the passive or re-gressive state. She feels that you will leave her, and this usually flip-flops into a phrase like this: "Why are you talking to your friend Tonie at work so much, do you love her - are you going to leave me?!!"
Sometimes jealousy is just a by-product of trust - or the lack thereof. She doesn't trust you to obey her rules so she must always know where you are 24 hours a day. If she tries to locate you by calling, and you don't answer right away, you must be having an affair with that waitress that she saw you talking to when you ordered your food.
Jealousy is hard to get through, but you know that love conquers all, and when trust is finally given you, everything will be okay - so don't screw it up, you may not get a second chance.
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