How to Understand People, How to Accept Others as They are
Most of us complain that this friend or our spouse does not understand us, here I try to talk about how to understand & accept other by knowing the reasons lying behind misunderstanding others.
Our minds are different as much as our hands are
1- You have to believe that there are no two people who could think same way, and this because of so many reasons like:
- We have different life experience.
- Different education: the more educated we are, the more we know what goes around us.
- Different values: Everyone has his own values. These values are affected by huge number of things like family values, teachers’ values, etc.
- Different life goals: Our life goals change the way we think.
- Different life rules: Everyone plays using different rules or understands the rules in a different way.
- Different culture: Nobody could ignore the culture effects on our way of thinking.
2- Believe that there is are no two people who could react same way, and this because of so many reasons like:
- Different values: Some people speak harsh words easily, his values has no issue with bad words.
- Different Temper: Some people are cool while others are not.
- Different strategy: Everyone solves his/her issues using different ways, some people keep silent & take action later, others leaving the room, make a joke & changing the topic in a clever way…etc.
3- Everyone could be convinced in a different way: Some people like to understand & involve in a rational discussion to be convinced, while you should be more emotional with someone else.
Although we are different
4- Avoid generalization: Many of our misunderstanding is because we generalize & think that there is an only one way for things to be done.
For example: Stop saying these sentences:
- Everyone should do ….
- Not everyone should do….
- Everyone could do it this way.
- Everyone believes …
- Everyone can understand it.
5- As you like to be yourself, others like to be themselves also: Don’t try to change people to be like you, you will waste your time, effort & get stressed.
6- Listen more than speak: give yourself the gift of understand others more.
7- Believe that everything has a reason or reasons: If someone is reacting abnormally, try to understand why.
Trying to help him/ her solving his issues is better than misunderstanding him/ her and have more problems for both of you.
8- When people are in hurry like they worry to miss the bus, plane, etc. they react in strange way, you should expect that.
9 - When anyone receives bad news, they could be anxious, we could understand that & grasp their negativity. For example: what a nice scenario when you try to encourage your classmate when he/ she has just received a fail result.
Different Stones make Beauty
10- Everyone has his own worries: Maybe if you go for a trip with your friends inside the forest, you feel very happy while other friend speaks & acts annoyingly, maybe he worries from insects, animals, etc, while you do not feel that worry, so you think that nobody has this kind of worries.
11- Most of people believe that treating men should not be same way of treating women, you try to understand the differences like women mostly are more emotional, etc.
12- The kind of relationship you have with other side: When your father treats you mostly he will be more tolerant than your brother is, etc.
13- It is not the thing we look at or the person we treat, it is the filters we put or the lens we use to see the things.
14- Trying to simplify the things, let us misunderstand many people, you should remember that people are a very complex creature.
Different Colors but they are Together
15- Some people's knowledge is theoretical while others may have a good practical experience on the discussed matter. So if you read something in a book, remember that it does not mean that things in real life will be same. Give a chance for the people to tell you their point of view, mostly you will learn something new.
16- As human being we are changing every day, our attitudes change, our experiences are accumulating, so we should accept that others have the right to change also.
If you know someone well, this is not giving you the right to put him in a standard pattern which he should stay whole his life. Don ‘t expect same thing from same person every time for ever.
17- Everyone has his own interests & priorities which are not always same like yours. What enjoys you today, may not enjoys your friend. If your friend doesn’t want to go fishing today, this no way means he/she hates you.
18- Everyone has his own judgments: what is easy for you, may not be for others of maybe so difficult for them. What is accepted by you, maybe is not accepted by someone else.
We can come to same point
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If you like quotes, maybe my other hub will enjoy you. Why Do we Misunderstand Others & Understanding Quotes
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