How to Understand People, How to Accept Others as They are

Introduction

Most of us complain that this friend or our spouse does not understand us, here I try to talk about how to understand & accept other by knowing the reasons lying behind misunderstanding others.

Our minds are different as much as our hands are

Source

1- You have to believe that there are no two people who could think same way, and this because of so many reasons like:

  • We have different life experience.
  • Different education: the more educated we are, the more we know what goes around us.
  • Different values: Everyone has his own values. These values are affected by huge number of things like family values, teachers’ values, etc.
  • Different life goals: Our life goals change the way we think.
  • Different life rules: Everyone plays using different rules or understands the rules in a different way.
  • Different culture: Nobody could ignore the culture effects on our way of thinking.

2- Believe that there is are no two people who could react same way, and this because of so many reasons like:

  • Different values: Some people speak harsh words easily, his values has no issue with bad words.
  • Different Temper: Some people are cool while others are not.
  • Different strategy: Everyone solves his/her issues using different ways, some people keep silent & take action later, others leaving the room, make a joke & changing the topic in a clever way…etc.

3- Everyone could be convinced in a different way: Some people like to understand & involve in a rational discussion to be convinced, while you should be more emotional with someone else.

Although we are different

Source

4- Avoid generalization: Many of our misunderstanding is because we generalize & think that there is an only one way for things to be done.

For example: Stop saying these sentences:

  • Everyone should do ….
  • Not everyone should do….
  • Everyone could do it this way.
  • Everyone believes …
  • Everyone can understand it.

5- As you like to be yourself, others like to be themselves also: Don’t try to change people to be like you, you will waste your time, effort & get stressed.

6- Listen more than speak: give yourself the gift of understand others more.

7- Believe that everything has a reason or reasons: If someone is reacting abnormally, try to understand why.
Trying to help him/ her solving his issues is better than misunderstanding him/ her and have more problems for both of you.

8- When people are in hurry like they worry to miss the bus, plane, etc. they react in strange way, you should expect that.

9 - When anyone receives bad news, they could be anxious, we could understand that & grasp their negativity. For example: what a nice scenario when you try to encourage your classmate when he/ she has just received a fail result.

Different Stones make Beauty

Source

10- Everyone has his own worries: Maybe if you go for a trip with your friends inside the forest, you feel very happy while other friend speaks & acts annoyingly, maybe he worries from insects, animals, etc, while you do not feel that worry, so you think that nobody has this kind of worries.

11- Most of people believe that treating men should not be same way of treating women, you try to understand the differences like women mostly are more emotional, etc.

12- The kind of relationship you have with other side: When your father treats you mostly he will be more tolerant than your brother is, etc.

13- It is not the thing we look at or the person we treat, it is the filters we put or the lens we use to see the things.

14- Trying to simplify the things, let us misunderstand many people, you should remember that people are a very complex creature.

Different Colors but they are Together

Source

15- Some people's knowledge is theoretical while others may have a good practical experience on the discussed matter. So if you read something in a book, remember that it does not mean that things in real life will be same. Give a chance for the people to tell you their point of view, mostly you will learn something new.

16- As human being we are changing every day, our attitudes change, our experiences are accumulating, so we should accept that others have the right to change also.
If you know someone well, this is not giving you the right to put him in a standard pattern which he should stay whole his life. Don ‘t expect same thing from same person every time for ever.

17- Everyone has his own interests & priorities which are not always same like yours. What enjoys you today, may not enjoys your friend. If your friend doesn’t want to go fishing today, this no way means he/she hates you.

18- Everyone has his own judgments: what is easy for you, may not be for others of maybe so difficult for them. What is accepted by you, maybe is not accepted by someone else.

We can come to same point

Source

Do you feel after reading this hub that you can understand others in a better way?

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Share & Let Us understand each other more

If you think that this article could help someone, please, spread my words by sharing it.

If you like quotes, maybe my other hub will enjoy you. Why Do we Misunderstand Others & Understanding Quotes

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Comments 28 comments

Pamela-anne profile image

Pamela-anne 3 years ago from Kitchener, Ontario

Thanks for sharing this insightful hub we must all take a little more time to listen to what others are saying from their hearts. They may have a different opinion on certain issues but that doesn't mean others are wrong and we are right. We all must learn to think more outside the box not all answers are wrapped up in a nice little box. Thanks for sharing have a great day! I vote this up as interesting!


Taleb80 profile image

Taleb80 3 years ago Author

Pamela

Your comment is a very useful addition to the hub. Thanks for comment and voting. Have a great life.


Angela Blair profile image

Angela Blair 3 years ago from Central Texas

I've found that applying the suggestions you make is easier if one has a small, close knit circle of true friends rather than a huge circle of friendly acquaintances. For me, that allows more time to understand and lift up my dear friends. Wonderful Hub -- thanks! Best/Sis


Taleb80 profile image

Taleb80 3 years ago Author

Angela

I could I agree with you. Happy you like the hub.

Thank you for stopping by & comment.


Dennis AuBuchon profile image

Dennis AuBuchon 3 years ago

Great hub, I tweeted, pinned and liked this hub along with voting up, awesome and beautiful. The points you made are fantastistic. Keep up the great writing.


Ruchi Urvashi profile image

Ruchi Urvashi 3 years ago from Singapore

Very meaningful hub. Sometimes, we expect other people to be like us. The beauty of life is we all are different.


Taleb80 profile image

Taleb80 3 years ago Author

Mr. Dennis

Thank you for this very encouraging touch in your comment. You added pleasure to my day. Thanks for voting & sharing.


Taleb80 profile image

Taleb80 3 years ago Author

Ruchi

I agree with you, you could imagine that all stones in the upper photo are same, I think they will not make a beauty like this. Happy you like it. Have a nice day.


L.L. Woodard profile image

L.L. Woodard 3 years ago from Oklahoma City

You've touched on quite a few of the issues that explain why no two people think or react alike, and it's great food for thought.

I've read, too, that the habits and mannerisms of other people that we find so annoying are very often the same that we ourselves have. Filtering my feelings through this knowledge has lead me to be less judgmental of others and more introspective about my own issues.

Voted up and Shared.


Taleb80 profile image

Taleb80 3 years ago Author

L.L. Woodard you have added a very important addition here. Yes, we have to filter our feelings through the knowledge, this will let us understand each other more.

Thank you for stopping by, commenting, voting & sharing.

Happy to hear from you.


Anjili profile image

Anjili 3 years ago from planet earth, a humanoid

Thanks for sharing on this issue. Quite a bone of contention in relationships and social circles. If we were all the same, life would be boring. Cloning has never been God's intention. The more different and varied we are, the better and the more we appreciate each other. We ought to love each other for being different.


Taleb80 profile image

Taleb80 3 years ago Author

I agree with you, although every drop of rain falls on a different place they make together that great river which brings the life for many creatures.

Happy you stop by & comment.


sunilkunnoth2012 profile image

sunilkunnoth2012 3 years ago from Calicut (Kozhikode, South India)

Informative and useful. I have learned the principle "Accept others as they are" from the Art of Living Foundation of Sri Sri Ravishankar, the great Living Spiritual Guru in India. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.


Taleb80 profile image

Taleb80 3 years ago Author

Happy you find it useful, and thanks for introducing a new guru for me.

I will do some research about him.


savvydating profile image

savvydating 3 years ago

You made an interesting point about how we change. In my case, I've had instances where someone said something to me which I immediately disagreed with, but upon further reflection, research, and/or communication, I came to understand their view - or at least why they had that particular point of view.

In short, I've learned that it helps to be flexible in our social interactions. That doesn't mean we flow wherever the river goes. Rather, it means we remain open to why another person has a different perception/paradigm, etc. than we do. In fact, we might even change our perception, having gained some useful knowledge.

You pointed out many good reasons for our differences very nicely!!


Taleb80 profile image

Taleb80 3 years ago Author

Thank you for your rich addition, it is a useful actual experience which supports the discussed topic. Thanks for your encouraging comment.


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

Taleb80,

This is a truly wonderful write! I couldn't agree more with everything you've said. I am one who celebrates our differences and I'm frustrated that others fault each other for them. What a world we'd live in if we could all follow your advice. I hope people can find some inspiration behind this! Thank you for taking the time to stand up and speak out!

Voted up and more ~ Sharing too!

Cat


CrisSp profile image

CrisSp 3 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

Wise words in here...cheers to embracing diversity!

Great hub! Awesome images. Absolutely voting up and sharing.

Thank you.


rose-the planner profile image

rose-the planner 3 years ago from Toronto, Ontario-Canada

I believe we need to celebrate our differences and not ridicule them. What a boring world this would be if we were all identical in our appearances, thoughts and views. Acceptance and tolerance of one another is key. Thank you so much for sharing your insight. (Voted Up)

-Rose


RealityTalk profile image

RealityTalk 3 years ago from Planet Earth

Differences will always cause problems. No offense, but I believe it naive to think people with different values, customs & cultures, to mention only a few of the differences you wrote about, can live in harmony like a rainbow. What usually happens when people of varying backgrounds come together and live together is that they adapt. People mutate into a new culture, create new customs, and or accept some of one and some of the other while rejecting some of one and some of the other; and, they agree on which values to incorporate into their new culture.

The problem with the theory of acceptance is that it does not work. If one culture believes women should keep their faces and bodies covered and another culture believes women have a right to expose as much of their body as men, there is going to be a problem. If one's custom is to pray in school and another one's custom is to keep prayer private, there is going to be a problem.

The only way varying philosophies with contradictory ideologies can co-exist is if they live separate. Hence, different countries. But to believe all these cultures and customs can co-exist in one land under the same laws without change, adaptations or problems is naive.


Taleb80 profile image

Taleb80 3 years ago Author

@RealityTalk

I respect your point of view, but do not believe in it. If you read the history you can find many examples that they coexisted. Thanks for stopping by. ☼

Example: I accept your point of view, although it is not what I think is correct.


Taleb80 profile image

Taleb80 3 years ago Author

@rose-the planner

it is my pleasure to read your comment. I agree with you. Thank you. ☼


Taleb80 profile image

Taleb80 3 years ago Author

@CrisSp

Thank you for your kind encouraging feedback. Appreciated. ☼


Taleb80 profile image

Taleb80 3 years ago Author

&Cantuhearmescream

Let us be the change we hope in this world. Let everyone of us accepts the others. Then we will see how the world will be.

Thanks for your inspirational feedback. ☼


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

Taleb80,

I couldn't agree more. We might not be able to change the whole world, but any change at all will be worth it.

Thank you for the inspirational hub!

Have a wonderful day!

Cat


Taleb80 profile image

Taleb80 3 years ago Author

@Cantuhearmescream Every change worth the effort. Thank you for your kind feedback. Hope happy day for you, too. ☼


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

Taleb80,

Yes, I can live with no, 99 times, if there is 1 yes, then it's worth the effort. You have a very refreshing and positive attitude; let's hope this spreads!

Hope you had a wonderful weekend!

Cat


Taleb80 profile image

Taleb80 3 years ago Author

@Cantuhearmescream

Thank you for your kind words. Yes, it's worth the effort.

Hope all the best for you, too.

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