I'm A Difficult Friend

I would like to applaud my friends today. They deserve it. These guys have been through it all, the good, the bad and the worst. They have a tough job and they perform it admirably almost every day. There have been few strikes, no layoffs and many hostile situations that are not in the job description. The job they have is being my friend. I’m not high maintenance or anything, but boy can I be annoying. Here are a few examples:

Sports? I like to argue in favor of my team no matter what the records, statistics, or evidence points to the contrary. My team is the best and your team cheats. End of discussion. Okay I’ll listen to your side, nope, no I won’t, I will have none of it.

Music? Let's play my ipod, it has a much better selection. If we play your Ipod I will just skip through the songs anyway. I made a playlist specifically for this event! Have you heard of this band? OF COURSE YOU HAVEN’T! You are not musically cultured like I am.

Movies? Please don’t recommend a movie. Or even worse, lend me a movie. Then I feel obligated to watch it and It’s probably horrible. To be honest, usually I just hold on to it for a few days and then give it back to you. When you ask me about a scene I just kind of nod and laugh then change the subject. I guess it's pretty obvious I never watched it, huh?

Girls? I'd rather not meet the current girlfriend of the week. It really is a waste of everyone's time. The two of you will be old news by the next time I see you anyway. And if I do like her, I'll wonder why she's with a guy who once drank candle wax at a bar.

Politics? Not a good idea, especially if we’re drinking. Even if we agree I may take the opposing view just to heat up the discussion. This usually leads to a big argument and most of the time we are arguing about something we agree with in the first place. Then we get sidetracked on a minor point and forget what the argument was even about.

Work? Pretty neutral subject right? I start out listening and caring. Then I realize I haven’t been paying attention for the last 5 minutes and have no Idea what you are talking about. I can’t tell you that so when it is time for me to interject I say something really vague like I know , I hate when it falls on Tuesdays. This leads to quizzical looks and I know I’m busted.

So to all my friends I just want to say thanks for sticking with me. I apologize for my faults, but you’re not perfect either…no, this isn't about you guys. This is about me admitting when I’m wrong and owning up to my shortcomings. I will work on being a better friend and in the meantime I hope you can be patient with me. We should all get together sometime soon. I’ll buy the beer and you can choose the music. We can watch the game, kick back and have a good time. You know what? I should probably choose the music.