Online Dating- What Do You Think?

Online Dating - Or Internet Dating as it is called has increased so much in popularity that it is now quoted as fact that, "One in five people meet on the internet."

I've been out of the loop for a long time and recovering from very painful carpal tunnel for a couple of months so I've had some time to look around on the internet for different topics and this one comes up A LOT. Being from what used to be called, 'Old School," I have to say - "How Scary Is THAT!" But what I found out was that, it's really not that scary at all.

Note to fellow hubbers - Sorry to have been out of the loop here - I have missed you fellow hubbers terribly, but I will be back soon - Getting better every day!

Here is what I would like to know - This is going to be a interactive hub, so I hope you read through and help me by answering a few of my questions. I'm curious more than anything, so please indulge me with any answers you think of - Please don't be crude. I hate that.


How do you know if you are compatible-What guidelines do you use? 4 comments

Steve Jarahian 5 years ago

I don't think there is any way to discover if you're compatible until you both interact. I'm quite intimidated when I read some of these women's write-ups. Do they really do ALL these things??? I've found that folks either lie or just don't have a sense of themselves so the person you meet is not what you were expecting. What do you think?


mwatkins profile image

mwatkins 5 years ago from Portland, Oregon & Vancouver BC Author

Hi Steve - Yes, It feels to me like we are all trying to use 140 characters to describe our most 'outstanding' qualities. It seems to be more about 'marketing' in the initial phases of meeting a mate. That's what I hear when I am out in the general public, anyway. For some, being 'ourselves' somehow feels inadequate or telling the truth would be a simple commonality. One gal I know told me that, "If you are going to lie about your age and weight and begin a meeting on a lie, then what else are you lying about? She had a point. A guy I asked who was 62 years old said, "If I put my real age down people will delete me based only on that. I'm not looking for an 18 year old, but I'm in great shape and the women my age that I meet out doing the things I like can't keep up with me. I want someone who can keep up with me so I say I am 52 years old instead." He has a point too. At what point do you 'fess up' if you told a fib (or two)?


stars439 profile image

stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

Nice hub. I think if people treat one another right it is easy to love someone, and to have a decent relarionship. Maybe it does not matter how people meet as long as they respect one another. Not being yourselfis never a good idea, because eventually dates always find out what they want to know. God Bless You.


mwatkins profile image

mwatkins 5 years ago from Portland, Oregon & Vancouver BC Author

Hi stars439 - Thank you! The results were surprising from many different viewpoints. It seems, however, that respect was one of the top 3 factors for people.

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    ?

    • Do you think that a first date is meeting someone in person and getting to know them -

    OR

    • Do you think that a first date is having an 'internet interview,' where you ask each other questions and find out before you meet if it's worth your time?
    • Also - Do you investigate each other so that the 6'2" cowboy you think you are talking to doesn't end up being the 5'6" arena clown you end up meeting?

    ? - First date interview - In person or on internet?

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      First Date-Which do you prefer?

      See results without voting

      Dressing Up-First Date?

      I just have to know if people dress up anymore. And, hey by the way - I also want to know what you gals think of the way young men wear their jeans.

      In an spontaneous survey I conducted at the gym - Are you listening fellas? 10 (YES TEN) out of 10 women ages 20-55 all agreed on one thing - They hate your skinny jeans and they think you look stupid in jeans that show the crack of your butt with your skivvy's hanging out over the top - the jeans that make you walk like a pigeon just to keep them up so they don't fall down to your ankles.

      You look stupid like that - they ALL said the same thing - Because you look like you are walking like you just got off a horse and your pants are falling down. 10 out of 10 said this.

      One young woman said, "I feel like I got ripped off because in the '80's, the girls wore tight clothes and now that I'm out dating what I see instead is guys in these low hanging jeans with the crotch at their knees and I what I want to see is their ass in a well-fitting pair of jeans. That's what I like! And besides that, they just look stupid and run like girls dressed like that."

      What do you wear on a First Date?

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        Ettiquette

        Couple of questions here:

        • Why do women get upset when their door is opened for them on a first date?
        • What do guys do when they open doors and get yelled at for it - ? Common sense tells me that if you want to go home real quick, raising a fit when someone extends a courtesy to you might be one good way to do that.

        Open the door or don't open the door - ? 2 comments

        stars439 profile image

        stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

        I think it is proper to open the door . GBY


        mwatkins profile image

        mwatkins 5 years ago from Portland, Oregon & Vancouver BC Author

        Hi stars439 - Proper s an excellent choice of words. IMHO, I would add courteous and respectful, but was surprised to also hear that it offends some because it is perceived as, "demeaning in that it puts women in the position of the weaker person."

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          Friends

          • How soon do you start bragging to your friends about your perfect new partner?
          • Do you tell your friends and family that you met online. I found that this subject is still something that couples would rather not share. Instead they make up stories about how they met for the rest of the world - Yes or no?

          How soon do you tell your friends about your new 'mate'? 2 comments

          stars439 profile image

          stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

          Maybe a person should feel comfortable with a date before mentioning him, or her as a mate.


          mwatkins profile image

          mwatkins 5 years ago from Portland, Oregon & Vancouver BC Author

          Stars439 - beautiful! I also heard that the term 'newly dating' is completely acceptable as an explanation for how you met, as well as, "why do you ask?" and "MYOB" or "NOYB" or, "It's a great story - I'll have to share it with you when we both have more time, but not right now."

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            Safety

            How do you protect yourself from:

            The stalker from hell

            The drug addict

            The identity thief

            The rapist

            The mooch

            Creepy People

            Seems to me like some old fashioned methods might work real well on this one like a call from a friend at a designated time with a planed ahead 'cue' if things aren't going well. Or, a meeting in a well populated area, Or, a safe distance at all times, or . . tell me what you think

            Safety - What do you think? 3 comments

            stars439 profile image

            stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

            I am a man, and a former police officer. I always think it is best to have a double date. I don't care how old you are, I believe it is wise to date someone, and have a friend come along with a date. A good man will understand precautions. Any man who does not want a woman to live safely is not worth it.


            stars439 profile image

            stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

            I am a man, and a former police officer. I always think it is best to have a double date. I don't care how old you are, I believe it is wise to date someone, and have a friend come along with a date. A good man will understand precautions. Any man who does not want a woman to live safely is not worth it.


            mwatkins profile image

            mwatkins 5 years ago from Portland, Oregon & Vancouver BC Author

            stars439 - I wish there was a way for me to give YOU a thumbs Up! Safety first is what I hear from all.

            It is also a good idea to take a picture from your camera phone of the person you actually end up meeting - if you meet them on your own - and send it IMMEDIATELY to a good friend along with a short text that includes the name of the person you are meeting and where you are meeting - "Just hooked up with my date Jim (Jan) Smith at the pub on 1st and main - isn't he (she) a cutie!"

            Always meet in a very public place the first 2-5 dates, or, as you say, double date!

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              The Next Step

              • What information do you gather online about someone, or from your online conversation that you decide to be important enough that you decide that you want to meet each other?
              • How much information about yourself is 'too much,' to give - After all these are 'virtual strangers' you are 'talking' to.
              • When do you give them a phone number - When do you feel safe enough to do that?
              • Do you get references? I sure would!

              What safety tips would you pass on from your own experience that you would share with others

              I must admit that I am not so old that I have never gone online to meet someone. I once met a fella who I thought was interesting and wanted to meet him. He, however had no intention of meeting me. I found out it was because everything he told me was a lie.

              When I told him to leave me alone he became agitated and angry and went to malls where he would give my pone number out to anyone he could entice to call me from a mall telephone and ask me what color my underwear was. Turns out he was ten years older, 200 pounds heavier and not nearly as pretty as he described himself to be. How could I have prevented that disaster from happening - Back then there were limited resources except a police check and even that wasn't completely reliable.

              Needless to say, my interest started and stopped with internet dating right then and there, but that was about 15 years ago. A lot has changed and I want to hear what you have to say.

              What info do you gather about someone, when do you give out your phone number, what safety tips would you pass on?

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                No, I am not going to be doing ANY internet dating. I am only conducting some research for a website that I am interested in.

                The research is for me, not my personal life - Which is just fine. But I do feel weird and kind of creepy writing this - just so you know ;-)

                And, thanks for your input! I appreciate your time!  It's good to drop in for a bit!

                Online Dating-Generic Hub Comments 2 comments

                kenneth avery profile image

                kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

                Hi, mwatkins, may I just use one comment for all of your hub sections? All are fantastic and easy to understand. Great advice for anyone about to enter online dating. I am so old that there were barely computers when I dated. Man, I wish they had been around in 1973...and yes, we had real cars, drive-ins and TV back then. I met my wife of now 36 years at the factory where we both worked in our hometown. It was suspicion (by her) at first sight. I kept being persistent and finally,(out of compassion), she agreed to date me. 36 years later she sometimes wonders why. Honest. I guess I used up the last of my magic powers of charisma on her, eh? Thank YOU for sharing a great subject. YOU are a great talent.


                mwatkins profile image

                mwatkins 5 years ago from Portland, Oregon & Vancouver BC Author

                Hello Kenneth - Thank you very much for your insight and hilarious analysis! Love your story! My husband actually showed up on my doorstep - He was referred to me by another contractor and when I opened the door and looked at him, I just knew that he was ,'the one for me,' Never being a believer in that stuff - I went ahead and made a fool of myself asking him questions I knew the answer to, hired him for the job, then when he was finished and paid, I made sure he thought I was cute enough to ask out. Movies and dinner was how we started. I think I loved him less on our wedding day 12 years later than I do now. I don't think I would have known him if I had waited to meet him online, but I had no idea he would be showing up on my doorstep, either! Thanks again!

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