Simple Warning Signs of A Failing Relationship

signs of good relationship
signs of good relationship

How To Fix A Failing Relationship

Valentine’s day is here again, and everyone is busy planning on what gift or present to give to their loved ones, and here I am with my own little token for my fans, readers and friends globally, please enjoy it and do have a lovely valentine’s day celebration ahead!

Firstly, I want to reiterate my commitment towards helping people (especially ladies) fix their relationships and live happily with their chosen partners. Remember, it was this desire and passion that first led me into the field of relationship counseling and guidance, and I will continue on that path, till the day I would draw in my last breathe.

It is no doubt that the most frequently asked question in the world today, is ‘how do I know that my partner truly loves me?’ Even though this particular question looks so simple, the answer is not that simple as we may think. Meanwhile, if you are a woman and you truly care to know the answer to that very question, then find time and go through the hub I titled: how to know if a guy truly loves you, and you will be amazed to read.

Now, back to our topic of discussion; simple warning signals of a failing relationship. Before I move on, I want to make it clear here that this very topic isn’t meant for women alone, but to also help men know when their relationship with a particular woman is approaching its failing point. And once again, the topic is not meant to scare you, but to assist you in making early diagnosis and to seek for immediate solution, if possible.

Meanwhile, knowing the signs of a bad relationship is only the beginning of a solution, and knowing how to end it, is the most important aspect that always prove difficult or sometimes impossible for majority of people.

All through my years of relationship counseling, I have come to realize that every bad relationship or let me say failing relationship, gives out red light warning signals, but most times, we are either too in love to see the warning signals, too naïve to notice, or too scared to do something about it, but that must not be the case this time, therefore, you must stand up to your feet and fight for your defeat!

red light signals
red light signals

Signs of a Bad Relationship

Lies- this is a very important warning sign you mustn’t ignore, no matter what excuse your partner may give. Remember, when you love someone truly, you are scared to lie to them, scared to even think of it, so be very watchful.

Communication break- In my previous hubs on relationship and dating, I mentioned this very point, and you must be attentive to it. Communication is as important as the relationship itself, so when there is no good communication between you and your partner, it is a warning sign of danger ahead because relationship ought to be built on good communication. If the communication is lacking, make out time and discover who among you is not talking, and start to make corrections as soon as possible. On the contrary, wrong communication can destroy a relationship on its own, so make sure you guys are communicating rightfully.

Constant Argument- this is exactly what I call wrong communication, and you must try your best to avoid it if you want your relationship to last. But if this persist despite your struggles to change it, then you should start thinking otherwise. Remember, if every of your conversation with your partner ends up in an argument, then something is definitely wrong with the relationship. Remember again that it is not because you left the dirty dishes unwashed that brought up the argument and exchange of words, no they are just surface issue beneath which the main issue is buried. So what do you do in this kind of situation? Sit your partner down and find out the root source of this frequent arguing and quarreling.

Always going out alone- if your partner is always fond of going places without your company, you need to be aware that something is obviously wrong, he or she doesn’t love you, I am sorry to say that. Find out why he or she prefers to go out alone without you, he or she must be cheating or about to cheat.

Distance- Yes, “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” but “too much time apart can create emptiness that often leads to forget”. Therefore, if you and your partner are no longer as close as you once were, it’s an obvious warning sign that you mustn’t ignore.

Cheating- I don’t need to stress much on this very point, at least we all know that it is a good sign of bad relationship. Contrary, sometimes we make mistakes, and we also need to forgive when there is a genuine reason and communication. But frequent cheating is a definite sign of bad relationship, RUN!

Abusive relationship- you can forgive a cheating partner, once you’re convinced that it occurred mistakenly, but if someone that claims to love you must hit you to show how much they love you, then you must give them a big distance before they send you to an early grave, you don’t need such love no matter what. Please don’t ignore this very sign, it always end up disastrous if you do.

Trust- Trust is one of the most vital ingredients of every healthy relationship, and when it's not there, there is an inevitable danger ahead. Now, have you been vigilant enough to discover that people who don’t trust others are always not trustworthy themselves? Take little kids as an instance, they trust anybody because they are trust worthy and innocent. It is only trustful people that trust others because their hearts are innocent and devoid of evil thoughts. So if your partner has no trust in you, then you should be careful of him or her because he/her is not trust worthy, that’s the truth. A fraudster can never trust anybody with his or her money, that’s just it, it is only innocent people that trust people because they don’t know about the negative aspect of trust.

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Comments 43 comments

sandrafowke profile image

sandrafowke 4 years ago

I found this hub very informative. So many people don't see the warning signs of a failing relationship till it's too late - me included!

accofranco profile image

accofranco 4 years ago from L Island Author

@sandrafowke, thanks for stopping by and for saying the truth, i am glad you found it informative, please share to help others know. Thank you.

eurica 4 years ago

thanks it can big help . . trust is the one i need to have

accofranco profile image

accofranco 4 years ago from L Island Author

@eurica, you're gladly welcome, i am really glad you found the article helpful, it makes me feel fulfilled with what i am doing- providing helpful counseling for people in a relationship, especially young ladies....please do share the article on your facebook wall...thanks for stopping by. Above all, you seriously need to work hard to develop your trust with the one you love, it matters a lot in every healthy relationship, and also determines its success or failure. Good luck dear.

tina 4 years ago

he didmt show up for Valentine's Day

kayyluh profile image

kayyluh 4 years ago

Hi accofranco! Great hub very detailed with lots of good information. This list was very helpful and will give a lot of couples a great deal of help. We all know how important these things are, but do we actually take these problems into effect when we they are happening? Probably not. Hopefully this will help people realize that these are problems and not something to ignore! Thanks for posting this hub I enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work :) Voted up and useful:)

confused 4 years ago

Been married to my wife seven yrs and she has cheated twice and here recently she has gotten secretive with her phone again she forgot it one day and I got home before her and I went through it found a guy she was talking to and a bunch of nude photos of her that was two weeks ago and I no longer live their I have two children and hate to leave them but don't think I can forgive again she says im overreacting what are your thoughts

Hated By Liberals profile image

Hated By Liberals 4 years ago from Eastern U.S.

Having been married, then divorced and single and not dating for 9 years, then ultimately meeting the one whom I fulfilled - rather than who completed me - and now in my mid 70's, I have observed some important themes for bliss.

First - I believe that physical attraction is a visual form of assessment of a person's imagined desired personna.

Second - Beauty is not entirely physical, but is ample criteria for some whose simple lust is sufficient.

Third - "FALLING" in love is simplistic beyond intellect. Knowing a person emotionally and intellectually is a much deeper intimate 'oneness' and likely explains how some couples who communicate without defense mechanisms for protection achieve far more intimate understanding and commitment to making it last, because they want to know more of the other.

Fourth - I pondered how I knew I loved someone, and came up with 3 reasons: I wanted to be with her and not be away from her for any time; I wanted to do things for her and give her things that brought her pleasure; and I wanted to labor alongside her in a single purpose with the pulling together toward a mutual goal - commitment.

Profound things become simple and extremely desired when agreed upon, and ideas shared and mutually admired as worthy usually are successful. In a marriage, there is often conflict over power and control, But I can tell you that a two-headed thing is an ugly monstrosity and unity of ideas and goals will not follow.

When you love someone, it is their welfare that becomes paramount - selflessness disappears. It is true that love, like friendship, is steady .... and a friendship, like love, is warm...

Geraldnduru profile image

Geraldnduru 4 years ago from Kenya

anyone who overlooks these signs should blame herself because they are very clear

Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 4 years ago

Thanks, very informative! Keep sharing

lili 4 years ago

I really like this because It showed me how horrible my last relationship was.

mmme 4 years ago

i can relate..:[

accofranco profile image

accofranco 4 years ago from L Island Author

@All, please forgive me for late response, I lost a beloved brother in a car accident recently, and ever since his sudden death, I have been too busy with running his business and mine at the same time. Thanks for bearing with me.

@tina, not showing up for valentine's day shouldn't be a problem if he had a tight schedule, so why not try to investigate why he didn't show up? thanks dear for stopping by.

@kayyluh, thanks a lot, you really lifted my heart with your warm comment, thank you and pls do share the article.

@confused, you have a right to been angry and upset with her actions, but then, without sin, there won't be forgiveness, so if truly she has repented and turned a way from her past lifestyle, you can find a place in your heart to accommodate her, at least, the devil we know is better than an angel we don't know. forgiveness is a vital aspect of every successful relationship.

@Hated By Liberals, wow! really have a take on this one...haha..nice tips for readers to go home with...thanks for stopping by, really appreciate your immense comment.

@Geraldnduru , thanks my friend, we thank God for the gift of internet, which now makes it easy for all to access vital information that would add positively to our lives. Thank you.

@Dr.Ope, hey...good to hear from you again, I hope you're doing greatly? Thanks for stopping by.

@lili, glad you found it useful, and I am very sorry for your past, try and put it behind and forge ahead, what is ahead of us is greater than what we've been through. goodluck and thanks for stopping by.

@mme, glad you share...

ovie oboh 4 years ago

wow, dis piece is really informative and educating...

Hardwire profile image

Hardwire 4 years ago from United States

@accofranco, Please accept my deepest sympathy for your loss. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.

This is all very interesting. Thank you for this thread, it was helpful in a way that allowed me to break down some of the problem areas in my marriage. However...

In the past 16 yrs we have been together, we have both been guilty of and victim to the signs listed here.

We have tried many things to correct our issues but they have all failed.

I for one am literally at my wits end and fear for my sanity. I have been thinking about divorce, but that scares the crap out of me, mostly because of the effects it will have on our 4 yr old daughter.

I can sense the fact that we still love each other however we are not "in" love anymore. Not even a little.

Please help. :(

Vidhi! 4 years ago

16 is very young to love someone? Is it necessary to turn 18 and love someone!

accofranco profile image

accofranco 4 years ago from L Island Author

Please I must apologize to you guys for my late response, it's cos of my new job role....been too busy, please do bear with me.

@ovie, thanks a lot for stopping by.

@Hardwire, thank you so much, God bless you. Hmmmmmm, I understand your situation, you are really standing on a cross road, quite a difficult situation, but if I may ask, what is the major problem that you guys are facing, so I can profer a timely advice, thanks as I await to hear from you.

@Vidhi, lol...platonic love is okay at 16, but why not wait and use more of your time to engage in building a better promising future for yourself than to engage in adult love which may end up hurting you? Thanks for making out time to ask a very vital question.

Dani 4 years ago

Thank you for this. It showed me that my last relationship failing wasn't all my fault like he said it was. I did try o fix everything. But I just couldn't. In the end, I let everything go and I'm not regretting it one bit. :)

Jane 4 years ago

Thanx a lot,this is really helpful...i have really carried my past pains and now am so afraid of being hurt again.i just entered a new relationship few months back,had our first intimacy(sex), and now i feel things are no more the same, but am still watching. Thanks once again!

Hardwire profile image

Hardwire 4 years ago from United States

accofanco, First of all, congrats on the new job! I hope all is going well for you :)

Thank you for your response. It would seem that we have a major communication problem and absolutely no compromising ability at all.

We argue/fight every single weekend over just about everything that comes up. It's like we just can't stand each others company anymore.

We didn’t used to be in this situation, but when I lost my high paying job in 08, it’s been downhill ever since. I am amazed we still have the house let alone our marriage. Sadly, what it has come down to is that I am only staying here because of our little girl as she needs her daddy and I cannot bear to think what life would be like with out seeing her every day.

So to some what sum it up:

Zero Communication/Skills, Zero Compromise and very little to no trust.

Hardwire profile image

Hardwire 4 years ago from United States

accofranco, In reply to your response, the major problems we are facing are as follows:

1. Very little communication skills, we don't "get" each other

2. There is NO compromise whatsoever $6 on anything

3. We seem to argue about everything most of the time

4. We don't see eye to eye on any topic, like ever

5. We have very different views on what's best for our daughter at any given time.

6. Money. Never seems to be enough money anymore. And we have very little debt outside of the mortgage

7. And last but not, no trust, never really has been much of that

That about sums it up in a nutshell as far as I can see from my side. As for the compromise, well, we purchased the home she grew up in from her Dad after her Mom passed away and that was in 2003. We need to do updates to the house but I am not allowed to change a thing because to her everything is sentimental. I'm a person who likes change and a modern house to live in. Granted this old house has charm, but it also needs allot of work that I'm not allowed to give it. This is a big issue with us.

accofranco profile image

accofranco 4 years ago from L Island Author

@Dani, thanks so much, I feel so alive reading comments like yours, stay blessed and don't worry, you will find love soonest.

@Jane, painful, I always advice ladies to hold their feelings, especially when it comes to having intimacy with their lover, because most times, it kills the desire and passion in most men, once they indulge in intimacy with a lady they love.....anyway, the deed is done, stay focused and keep watching him with your wisdom at alert, I pray it works out fine this time. Good luck dear, and thanks for stopping by.

@Hardwire,.....really a hard situation....okay, okay....thanks, my job is okay, just that I hardly have time for myself and even to do some things like updating my blogs, etc....but I am looking for a way to combine the two....meanwhile, do you still want this man for real? Do you truly want things to work between you guys? Are u still in love with him? Pls get back to me before I can finally advice/suggest. Thanks guys.....pls do share the article on your facebook and twitter walls. Stay blessed.

Hardwire profile image

Hardwire 4 years ago from United States

accofranco, Sry, but I think you may be a bit mixed up. I'm the guy in the relationship. lol. No worries though, simple mistake.

And yea I do still love her, but being "in love" is the question. Seems everything she does drives me nuts to the point I can't even stand to listen to her talk cuz she is just SO cynical and negative.

The thought of leaving this relationship is very scary for me cuz I really don't want to see her get hurt. Not even in the slightest. And I feel a strong commitment to my daughter to "keep the family together".

Yes, I really do wish things could work for us, mainly for our daughters sake.

accofranco profile image

accofranco 4 years ago from L Island Author

@Hardwire, oh oh...lolz...I am sorry for the as much...anyway, I wish you the best of luck in your relationship and love life, pls forgive my late reply, I had been too busy, cheers!

desertomountainso 4 years ago

Great article! Thank you. There are so many comments here already. Women especially need to identify whether they are dating men whose family of origin has left them angry, or narcisstic (where what they want rules). Men will do whatever they have to do to 'win you', to look great in your eyes, but there will be warning signs. Do not overlook those warning signs: of anger, of unnecessary criticism, or secrecy. Get to know the person you are dating for 2 years before making any commitment at all - including engagement. Someone who 'sweeps you off your feet' quickly usually has something to hide. They want you to love them quickly before you reaize there are HUGE flaws you don't want to live with.

mississaugamover 4 years ago from canada

Wow well said.. im agree with you and nice article..

very true advice........

Joeythegrreat 4 years ago

Very good hub, I was naïve when I younger and now my eyes are open.

Joy moses 4 years ago

This has really informed me, I saw some of these in my last relationship but did not care and the relationship ended at last. Thanx a lot

valerie 4 years ago

Thanks a lot. The information ive just read is very helpful and i think il use it since my rltnshp is failing and yet i badly want it to work. I love my man so much therefore m willing to do anything to retain him.

valerie 4 years ago

Thanks a lot. The information ive just read is very helpful and i think il use it since my rltnshp is failing and yet i badly want it to work. I love my man so much therefore m willing to do anything to retain him.

accofranco profile image

accofranco 4 years ago from L Island Author

@mississaugamover, thanks for stopping over, I am glad you found the article spread the news.

@Joeythegrreat & Joy Moses, I am glad you guys learned something new from this article, I wish you two a more promising and fulfilling love life...pls do spread the news.

@valerie, I am really overjoyed with your comment, especially the part you mentioned that you are ready to make your relationship work, pls keep it to your ambition and I assure you it will....thanks for stopping by to share your personal experience. All the best.

@desertomountainso, thank you very much for the comment you are very correct, and I believe other readers would pick one or two points from your comment. Thank you.

Nyamache profile image

Nyamache 4 years ago from Kenya

They do say love is blind. As such a partner deeply in love may see all these warning signs of a failing relationship but do nothing. I fail to understand why a woman or man still stays in an abusive relationship.

accofranco profile image

accofranco 4 years ago from L Island Author

@Nyamache, the above question you raised is still a mystery to the world...but then, it ought not to be so with the numerous information women have nowadays. Thanks for stopping by to drop a word....cheers!

angel 4 years ago

wow!! it's HEll AWESOME! thanx...but my boyfriend do cares about me....but i want him more dedicated...he is not emotional @all. but i am. what can i do??

accofranco profile image

accofranco 4 years ago from L Island Author

@angel, give him more time and then try to communicate this to him openly in a very friendly manner, and please don't do this at odd time, pick a happy moment and let him know casually and in a teasing way, I strongly believe he will pick up...but then, can you elaborate more on what exactly is it you want him to improve on?

Thanks for the inspiring comment, I feel glad that you found the write-up amazing, thank you.

jantamaya profile image

jantamaya 4 years ago from UK

Accofranco, great hub. Thanks for giving us an outstanding relationship advice. Voted up.

accofranco profile image

accofranco 4 years ago from L Island Author

Thank you so much @jantamaya, I feel so honored and fulfilled with encouraging feedbacks like yours...thanks a million folds, cheers!

unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

Thanks for sharing this!

accofranco profile image

accofranco 3 years ago from L Island Author

@unknown spy, you are welcome, and thanks for stopping by.

Redrider 3 years ago

Hi guys I'm in strange place , I've got great family, great friends and good job. I've been with my partner for nearly 4 years yet over the last couple of years have found things progressively getting worse between us. He is brilliant at arguing, turning things around to be my fault and I am a bright person yet I always feel frustrated not listened too and totally not in control to the point I am so frustrated I want to explode and I've never felt like that before with anyone. All the traits he has he transfers them to me like I'm manipulative a social bully, it's always about me I don't want to answer to anyone. I am just amazed I am still here listening to this . I am a strong person but not getting this he lives in my house and now I'm being told how I don't put things away in the right place , I'm lazy and he has had to drop his standards to move in with me. I have a brand new house it's not untidy. He has some great qualities too but I'm finding those hard to find again . Everything I do is wrong he is so good at turning things around What can I do ?

accofranco profile image

accofranco 3 years ago from L Island Author

Hello Redrider, I wouldn't want to talk much on this, all I have to tell you is this: THAT GUY ISN'T THE RIGHT MAN FOR YOU! Don't ever make the mistake of agreeing to marry him, RUN!

MarieLB profile image

MarieLB 23 months ago from Yamba

Reading your hub is educational, but reading the comments is sad. So many people seem to be in bad relationships! Thank heavens there might be some that will see the light after reading your article!

accofranco profile image

accofranco 23 months ago from L Island Author

Thanks so much @MarieLB, I am glad you found the article educating. Thanks again for stopping by, you are awesome. Thank you.

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