The Advantages of Being Single and Unattached

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I have been married and divorced twice. At this point in my life, as I'm getting older, I am not dating or even looking. I have had some major changes in my life in the last seven years and have had to do a lot of adjusting. I haven't had the time or energy to do much of anything but just get through each day and learn how to handle all the changes. So dating has been on the back burner for a long time.

The other day a good friend of mine, who is older too, and I were talking about this. She feels much the same as I do, that we're not sure we want to even deal with the whole dating thing. Sure, we would love to have a man in our lives for various reasons, but on the other hand, we would not want some of the things that go along with it! I have become quite spoiled about being alone and therefore being able to do what I want when I want to. Do I really want to change all that? To have to go along with someone else's schedule? Not so much!

There are many reasons why I would like to have someone in my life...company when I'm lonely, someone to snuggle up to when I'm scared, someone to help me with all the daily chores, being able to share things and many others, but this is about the things I like about not being attached. So, here they are...some are selfish, some are silly, but all are satisfying.

  1. I can make anything I want to eat. I don't have to limit my choices because he doesn't like something.
  2. Speaking of eating, I can eat all the garlic I want and I love garlic!
  3. I'm a lifelong night owl. I don't have to go to bed early because he's an early bird.
  4. I don't have to shave my legs as often.
  5. i can wear whatever I want around the house and look less than attractive. I have always made an effort to look good when I was married or dating. Now I can wear that horrid red flannel nightgown I have!
  6. I can have things exactly as I want them...no having to put up with his things where I don't want them. One of me exes loved model trains and wanted them all over the place!
  7. No snoring...need I say more?
  8. I can write whenever I feel like it and not be made to feel I'm "neglecting" him.
  9. No ridiculous jealousy to put up with. This may be because I always seemed to be attached to control freaks, which is another problem I never want to put up with again.
  10. No arguing over what we watch on TV. I can watch all the silly shows I like without having to watch football for him.
  11. Not as much cleaning up. I don't have to scrub the ring out of the bathtub as much because it takes a long time for me alone to make one.
  12. I don't have to put up with his boring, obnoxious or otherwise unpleasant friends.
  13. I don't have to put up with his family. No more awkward dinners because his mom thinks I'm not right for her precious baby boy...who is 60!
  14. I don't have to worry that I may have hooked up with some psycho who might decide to do me in...I know, this one is extremely paranoid, but these days, I'm leery!
  15. I can cry any time I want to without him getting all uncomfortable with it...men are generally not good at dealing with crying.

Now, if someone came along that I fell head over heals for and he loved me, no matter what, and I loved him, no matter what, all this would change. But unless that happens, I'm comfortable and content being alone and unattached. To all of you that have that kind of relationship in your life, I think you are very lucky. For all the people out there like me, I hope this list inspires you to make your own. Being single can have it's advantages...enjoy your life!


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Comments 16 comments

passion4pen profile image

passion4pen 3 years ago from delhi

Nice!!! its about the mindset at the end of the day!!


dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 3 years ago

There are lots of advantages to being single, dating, in a serious relationship, or married. The important thing is to be happy with whatever your status is. Simply put: Live in the moment!

I've come to realize that no matter what group someone is in there will be times when they will envy another group.

Happiness comes from being where you want to be and doing what you want to do.


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 3 years ago from the South Author

passion4pen, you are so right! Thanks for reading!


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 3 years ago from the South Author

dashingscorpio, that's the key, isn't it? Sometimes I do envy someone who is married or in a serious relationship, but I know sometimes they envy me too...haha. Thanks for reading and commenting!


Hope2321 profile image

Hope2321 3 years ago from Australia, Adelaide

Darling i loved your hub! I am single atm and where i am theres always a big deal about being with someone, happy or not. I get alot of people say "come on have some fun with this guy" and im like "No way, im happy being single rather than be tarnished and wind up in the ringer again."

Alot of guys these days see me as fussy, but i tend to think i have standards :P I dont fall for every tom,dick and harry(though ive dated a Harry :P)

I agree with the movie part... it does get boring watching footy.

Thing is at the end of the day im still working out myself, until then I find if im not prepared i often end up hurting myself and the guy... complicates things

So good on you for sticking to your guns!


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 3 years ago from the South Author

Hope2321, thanks for the comment! Good for you for realizing that sometimes we're not ready to be involved and, as you said, it just ends badly. I feel I have way too much going on in my life to be really present in a relationship right now. I have to deal with all of this before I could even be emotionally ready for a boyfriend! Thanks for reading!


Madison22 profile image

Madison22 3 years ago from NYC

I love this piece. There is certainly many advantages of being single. But, I also feel you can be in a relationship and feel so lonely. Sometimes, what it boils down to is being happy within and with who you are as a person.


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 3 years ago from the South Author

So true Madison! I have been in a few relationships where I felt lonely and that's worse than being alone and lonely, I think. Thanks for reading!


Monica Kay 215 profile image

Monica Kay 215 3 years ago from Pennsylvania

Great hub. I'm alone and I honestly love my life. I like not having to answer to anyone.


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 3 years ago from the South Author

Thanks Monica! It is a nice freedom, isn't it? Thanks for stopping by.


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 3 years ago from Arkansas, USA

Hey, catG! Awesome hub! I wrote a hub about the best reasons to stay single, and I totally believe in it. I do have a 9 year relationship, but we don't live together. To me, it's the perfect balance. I don't even see him much during the week, but we have a lot of weekend time.

Funny, I can't use garlic when I cook for him. Funny you should mention that. I'm a night owl too, and he's an early bird!

We may lead this wonderful separate houses things indefinitely. I can't see myself being married. I love my own house to do my own thing in.

I'm linking this hub to mine! Wonderful job!


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 3 years ago from the South Author

Thanks Victoria! It sounds like you have the perfect situation...that's great! If I did get involved again, I would love what you have. I also think sometimes not seeing too much of each other is a good way to keep a relationship happy. Good for you!


SallyTX profile image

SallyTX 3 years ago from Only In Texas!

These are good points, and I agree with every one of them! I am single, too and appreciate the freedom. I think it's very important for women to ask themselves if a relationship will actually make their lives better before commiting to one. Most of the time, it won't! Voted up and useful!


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 3 years ago from the South Author

Sally, you bring up a good point. I think a lot of women put up with a lot of crapola just to "have someone." If they could back off a little and see how it goes to be solo, they might save themselves tons of frustration and irritation! Or they might at least be more picky and find the right guy. Thanks for reading and the votes!


Olde Cashmere profile image

Olde Cashmere 3 years ago from Michigan, United States

I've been single for over 3 years and have only had two girlfriends in my life. I agree with much on this list and enjoyed your writing catgypsy. Excellent work my friend. Voting up and rating useful, interesting, and awesome :)


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 3 years ago from the South Author

Thanks so much Cashmere...it honors me that you enjoyed it because I love your hubs and think your writing is terrific!

Thanks also for the vote and ratings! :)

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