The Best Relationship Advice You Will Ever Receive

Rubbermaid Servin' Saver 21 Cup Container
Rubbermaid Servin' Saver 21 Cup Container

A Symbol of Love?

 

To the ordinary eye, the drab beige container pictured here looks just as ordinary. It is a simple Rubbermaid container that, according to the bottom, is a 21 cup or 5.0 Liter capacity Servin’ Saver ™. Nothing more, nothing less, or so it seems.

I’m not sure that Rubbermaid even makes one like this anymore. I’ve owned mine for over 24 years. I own it because my long ago ex-husband owned it when I married him back in 1986. It is the only material item that I still own that we had while we were married. Many people might think I hold on to it for sentimental reasons, because I just cannot let go and it is the one tangible item that I have left of him. They would be wrong.

But Look What I Got!

Except for the baby -- and a pile of debts that I ultimately got stuck with -- it was the only thing that I got out of the divorce way back in 1988. It serves as a great reminder to me; it is a lesson that I have tried to pass on to my children and anyone else’s children who would listen: Don't marry a man whose best possession is a 21 cup Servin' Saver Rubbermaid container.

Why would a young woman consider marrying a man who had nothing? I know why I did. I was pregnant with his child. She will be 24 this year. Still, that was NOT a good reason to marry him. Don’t lecture me about birth control….it was 24 years ago and believe me, I learned my lesson the hard way.

The point of it all is that all of you young women out there need to think a little more about what who you are hanging with. Look around your guy’s place. Does he even have a place? Does he own anything? Is it a beige Rubbermaid Servin’ Saver container? If so, run!

The freshest dog food in town.
The freshest dog food in town.

Don't Kid Yourself

It is unbelievable how many times I have heard from one of my friends, my daughters or their friends, that “I’m just going out with him, I’m not marrying him. “ Well, guess what? You never know. The man you are sleeping with may end up being the father of your child -- and, ultimately, the grandfather of your grandchildren. Frankly, my ex is no better at being a grandfather than he was as a father or husband. What can one expect of a man who, in his thirties, had nothing of value except a Rubbermaid container?

He is still a drunk and I’m still using that Rubbermaid container. I think of him every now and again when I lift the lid off to get the dog food out for Ruggles, my little Yorkie/Maltese mix. That container has been keeping Ruggle’s food fresh for almost 14 years now. Considering that he will only eat dog food if he is actually starving, a container that keeps food fresh works out perfectly for us.

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Comments 33 comments

Tom Koecke profile image

Tom Koecke 6 years ago from Tacoma, Washington

I'd like to think I'd be a keeper, but, if not, I have a soup pot!

Great hub!


Jen's Solitude profile image

Jen's Solitude 6 years ago from Delaware

What a way to turn a phrase! :-) So glad I glanced at my favorite hubber's mail this morning and saw your name listed. Very good advice with a side of humor thrown in. Easy to vote this up!

Dar


Connie Smith profile image

Connie Smith 6 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida Author

Two of my favorite hubbers! I feel blessed to hear from you both and have missed you. This hub is in honor of my 10,000 view. Yes, Jen, I know you hit your mark a long time ago, but I feel good, considering that I haven't written for so long.

Tom, I have no doubt that you would be a keeper and I do like to make soup every now and then, lol. In fact, I am having a bowl of homemade veggie soup right now.

Dar, I've missed you and hope to start writing a bit every now and then. BTW, my Clydesdale horse hub is still my top read hub. You might have to throw me a few more topics :)


Jen's Solitude profile image

Jen's Solitude 6 years ago from Delaware

Well CONGRATS on your 10,000th view, what an accomplishment and well deserved I might add. I look forward to seeing your face around this place more often in the near future. ;-) I've missed you too!


Connie Smith profile image

Connie Smith 6 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida Author

Thank you, m'am. I know you hit 10,000 a long time ago. How many have you had now? You need to write me and let me know everything you are doing now and how it is going for you. Thanks for the encouragement!


Jen's Solitude profile image

Jen's Solitude 6 years ago from Delaware

As of this minute I have 72,984 views but that is with 111 hubs. Ten thousand plus views with only 25 hubs is much more impressive IMHO! :-)

Yes I do need to write, I think I forgot again! I will try to do so asap. This is a bad month for me memory-wise, it is making it more difficult to keep in touch, but I will hopefully remember to do so very soon. Thanks for your patience!


Connie Smith profile image

Connie Smith 6 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida Author

Oh my! I am impressed! I do remember you going over the 10,000. I am amazed, but not surprised. You have come a long, long way since I first started reading some of your work. You know me, I am always curious! No matter that the last year has been crazy, I haven't lost that, lol. Just wondering what all you have been into.


Jen's Solitude profile image

Jen's Solitude 6 years ago from Delaware

I hate that my list has grown so long, makes me not even want to begin to tell all, maybe I will just write a little at a time so that I don't feel so overwhelmed. LOL


Connie Smith profile image

Connie Smith 6 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida Author

I don't want to overwhelm you, just find out what you are up to in the writing world and how it is treating you...I am currently hard at work on a FEASIBILITY STUDY (yes, the words are enough to make one shudder...) about red light cameras. It is my major homework project for my technical writing class and the class has been a struggle, I can tell you. I'm not nearly as good as I thought I was when I started out, lol. However, I still have hopes for the future.


Jen's Solitude profile image

Jen's Solitude 6 years ago from Delaware

Wow Connie, now that sounds interesting. Technical writing seems so difficult, hope you email me more about it. I am really "curious" ;-) Or maybe shoot me over a copy of your assignment once you've completed it, so that I can be duly impressed.


Connie Smith profile image

Connie Smith 6 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida Author

I thought this class would help me to tighten up my work, since all my hubs are way too long! The school took my compostion classes credits from 1977, so I had to start somewhere.

Technical writing encompasses instructions, directions, resumes and cover letters, writing proposals, grants (which we really didn't get into), memos, and studies. My feasibility study is supposed to answer the question "Should Pinellas County install red light cameras?"

It is a lot of research. Like always, I get bogged down in the research end of it, but I am learning how to make pie charts,graphs, and power point presentations using my MS Office software. I've resisted learning it before, using MS Works for word processing. Also learning how to properly give credit to the sources I use in my work, which I've always tried to do, but am learning how to do it correctly.


Jen's Solitude profile image

Jen's Solitude 6 years ago from Delaware

Sounds like the makings of a great hub. Some of us could really benefit from your MS Office know how. (hint, hint) Receiving instructions along with personal experience would be a winning hub in my opinion. ;)


Connie Smith profile image

Connie Smith 6 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida Author

I would love to be able to do that, lol, but I am not quite there yet. When (and if) I ever get to that point, I will be happy to write a hub about it and even give you your own personal instruction! My daughter, Ashley, is trying to teach me, because I am totally at a disadvantage at school without it, but with four babies around somewhere, it isn't easy to find the quiet time we need so I can really get the hang of it.


Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee 5 years ago from Ontario/Canada

Connie what a great hub. How awesome that you at least got the valuables out of that relationship... your daughter and the dog food container.

I loved it, how funny.

Hope you're well along with the rest of your gang,

here is to a super duper holiday season. And a special hug for Lexi too.

kindest regards Zsuzsy


Connie Smith profile image

Connie Smith 5 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida Author

Zsuzsy, thanks for reading it and for the kind compliments. I wish it was a made up story, but you cannot make that kind of stuff up, lol. It is all too true, alas. I also appreciate your continued concern for Lexi. She is walking a bit and talking a lot -- though we don't always understand all of her words. Though she is still on a feeding tube, she sneakily ate SIX COOKIES and lived. Thank God, because she took a small pack into her room. We did not know she had them. My greatest wish is for her to eat again and hopefully, it will not be long. She has to have swallow studies, feeding therapy, etc., before being able to eat. She also continues to fight respiratory problems (a bit of pneumonia right now, but manageable).

It is always so crazy here, but hoping to get back to the keyboard to start writing hubs again. I enjoyed this one and want to do more.


Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee 5 years ago from Ontario/Canada

Connie what amazingly great news about the little munchkin. My Dad always said if we could keep a cookie down we were on the mend... well if Lexi had six that means she's on the mend six-fold.

I wish an even speedier recovery to Lexi, extra strength and foremost patience to you all (which I bet by now is running pretty thin) to get there little step by step, and a great holiday season.

Looking forward to reading more of your hubs when you get the time.

kindest regards Zsuzsy


Romano Arnesto profile image

Romano Arnesto 5 years ago from Philippines

This is really something. Glad you get rid of him. You'll get through it and you saved the best for last, your daughter and the dog food container (LOL!). Best of luck to you, Connie. :D


Connie Smith profile image

Connie Smith 5 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida Author

Thank you, Romano. I enjoyed writing this one. It was a long time coming, lol.


arb profile image

arb 5 years ago from oregon

Well Connie , She married me with even less 43 years ago. I"m serious. Didn't have a pot to __ss in. I bought a rubber made container last week though. Hope it isn't a sign.


Connie Smith profile image

Connie Smith 5 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida Author

Too funny, arb. I guess you could say my ex at least had a pot to _iss in....you know, now that you mention it....living in Florida like I do, it actually could come in handy if we had a hurricane and the plumbing quit working.


fucsia profile image

fucsia 5 years ago

I made a mistake like that, but fortunately without marriage and without children. A man who has nothing, not even ideas and projects, it is very dangerous! You just run away, more that you can!

This is really the best relationship advice I heard!


Connie Smith profile image

Connie Smith 5 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida Author

Thank you, fucsia. I am sure that there are many more out there than just us that made that mistake. No matter what anyone says, in most cases, not even "true love" usually lasts too long after someone realizes that they've married a bum....girls, just don't do it!


htodd profile image

htodd 5 years ago from United States

Thanks for the nice hub


eye say profile image

eye say 4 years ago from Canada

good advice ...


Connie Smith profile image

Connie Smith 4 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida Author

Thanks!


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 4 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

LOL -- cool advice -- your advice goes both ways. My ex had two kids when we met... we added two more! When she left we both ended up with next to nothing but I got a quart jar of choke cherry juice I kept for years unopened to remind me how important it is to have financial house in order. I supported the family for years - her kids were entirely my burden without respect for the fact I did carry them. After a messy ending, I laughed for years about the choke cherry juice. I appreciate my ex and all she carried I just wish that respect and appreciation went both ways... oh by the way - I finally threw out the juice about 6 months ago.


Connie Smith profile image

Connie Smith 4 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida Author

Thank, Neil. I appreciate you stopping by. I know these things work both ways, it's true. I'm keeping mine -- at least as long as Ruggles is still around and wants fresh dog food. Even then, I might keep it. arb, who commented some time back gave me a great idea for a new use for it. I live in Florida and it never hurts to have a lidded container around -- just in case the plumbing goes out during a hurricane, you know.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Your daughter and a dog in exchange for a louse??? Not a bad deal at all. Great hub, funny and touching at the same time.


Connie Smith profile image

Connie Smith 4 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida Author

Thanks, billybuc, nice of you to stop by. This is really the sad story of my life, lol. Believe me, I've never regretted losing the louse. In fact, as funny as it is, I even asked one of his girlfriends that I thought was funny, bright and intelligent just what she saw in him. She laughed and said her mom asked her that question all the time.

Funny how life turns out sometimes. You think you made a bad bargain and ended up with just a lousy Rubbermaid container, but then you find out how useful it all ends up being -- because what I didn't put into the story was the louse radar that I also gained from this relationship. I never looked twice at another one, that is for sure, lol.


Millionaire Tips profile image

Millionaire Tips 4 years ago from USA

This is great advice - which I needed about 24 years as well. We have similar life stories. I think I got a t-shirt, which he accidentally left, but it didn't last as long as your container.


Connie Smith profile image

Connie Smith 4 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida Author

Thanks, Millionaire. The container is going strong, as is my 15 year old dog, Ruggles. There are too many similar stories out there, which is why I thought of writing mine.


Angela Brummer profile image

Angela Brummer 4 years ago from Lincoln, Nebraska

Wow could I be the author of this article! The circumstance a little different but, many reasons not to marry a man just because you are knocked up!


Connie Smith profile image

Connie Smith 4 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida Author

Thank for reading it -- and commenting, Angela. I think it really is a common theme for so many of us which is why I wanted to warn the ones who haven't been caught yet.

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