The Dating Theory

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This hub contains content that may not be suitable for those lacking a sense of humor. If you feel that you are easily offended, you might want to change channels.

The Dating Theory - Are you Hot or Not?
The Dating Theory - Are you Hot or Not? | Source

Dating

Have you ever spent the night sitting in a bar all by yourself wondering what is wrong with you?

Have you spent more nights sitting on the couch alone then enjoying the company of the opposite sex?

Are you almost positive every last fish out their has been taken and you will eventually be the only one left?

Are you lonely?

Well, with the help of “The Dating Theory,” hopefully these situations can be remedied and before you know it, you will be out there on the dance floor with the person of your dreams.

The idea behind “The Dating Theory” is simple. It is based off looks. Now this may seem rather shallow, but if you think about it, it takes maybe seconds for one person to judge another. If you are on the long end of things, maybe you take a minute to judge somebody else. If you have obviously already judged a person that quickly, it really doesn’t give you much time to really get to know them. Therefore, when it comes to dating, the looks are an essential aspect to “The Dating Theory.”

What do you think?

When it comes to the Scale of Hotness, I feel my rank is a...

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Do you got the look?

A while back, there was a website where you could rate other people’s looks. You got to decide if they were hot or not. This website is still around and it teaches us something very valuable about our society. We rate each other based off of our looks.

Is it right? Probably not. But we are human and it seems we all have done it. (If you think you haven’t, you are probably lying to yourself) It is the reason we consider some people attractive and others not. It is why some people we would consider dating, and others we put in “the friend” category. In dating, we need to be attracted to the other person. While everybody’s tastes may be a little different, the bottom line, we choose our prospective mates almost entirely off looks.

When it comes to looks, everybody has their own level on the scale of hotness. The idea behind “The Dating Theory” is: your position on the scale is directly related to the person you will be able to date. For instance, if you are a 10, you should be able to date a 10. If you are a 5, you should be able to date a 5. If you are a 1, you should be able to date a 1.

For those 10s out there, they have got it made in the dating world. They have got the looks and because of that, they can pretty much pick and choose who they want to date. They can date other 10s or they can go lower. And obviously, if you are more attractive than the person you want to date, they will want to date you. It will even be exciting for them because they will think they are jumping up the scale for free.

Now obviously, if you are on the lower end of the scale, this does not mean there is no hope for you out there in the dating world. But that does mean you will need other influential characteristics to boost you up on the scale of hotness.

Instant sex appeal - start flashing big wads of money around!
Instant sex appeal - start flashing big wads of money around! | Source

Sex Appeal

Fame and Fortune!

If you want to boost your numbers on the scale of hotness, you are going to have to work that sex appeal. You need to move past just pure looks and work on the many other factors people will instantly notice.

Now what are these factors you may need, you ask? Most of them can be attained with a bit of work and effort.

The easiest way to boost your sex appeal is to win the lottery. This lottery must be big enough to make you an overnight millionaire. The point is, to easily boost your sex appeal, you need a fortune. (Who said money can’t buy love?) If you have the dollar bills, and you are flashing them all over the place, you will instantly become more attractive in the eyes of the opposite sex. (Especially if you buy them a drink!) However, you don’t necessarily need to win the lottery. If you come from money or have inherited millions, this will boost up your score as well.

The other option to instantly up your hotness is by becoming famous. Now if you are the average person out there, you might think the easiest way to become famous is by robbing a store or killing someone. While robbing a store might make you instantly rich and famous, it definitely won’t up your hotness levels. In fact, it will probably lower it. After all, jail time is definitely not attractive. Killing will also lower your hotness level. This is because you will have instilled fear in the opposite sex. Therefore, fear will push your hotness level down.

So, if you are trying to increase your hotness level by becoming famous, try writing a best seller, staring in a blockbuster movie, or become a model for some world known product. That will give you better results for increasing your hotness levels.

Confidence and Personality

Now obviously fame and fortune will take time, plenty of hard work, or plenty of luck in order to obtain. If you are looking to score a date for this weekend, you might struggle to become an overnight millionaire or put out that blockbuster movie. Therefore, you might have to concentrate on the actual skills you can work on: confidence and personality!

Have you ever noticed that girl walking hunched over, dressed in a baggy t-shirt. No? Didn’t think so! So that is my point. If you have no confidence, who is going to notice you? Probably not that future date prospective you have been eyeballing for the last couple of weeks.

Confidence is a key ingredient to upping your hotness level. Now I am sure you have noticed the girl who is chatting every person up and laughing like she has just heard the funniest joke. Or maybe the guy who has the glint in his eye as he chats with his friends. They have confidence. They don’t necessarily have to be a 10, but their number has increased just because they have got the sex appeal working for them.

Often times people who have confidence walk with a certain step. Their head is held high and their shoulders are back. People notice them. They have confidence in their walk. So, if you are struggling on the hot scale, try walking in an erect position. Maybe it will bump you up a couple notches.

So now that we have your confidence fixed, let’s check out your personality.

Personality is probably the most important aspect of sex appeal. If you have a personality of a wet mop that was used sometime last week and never rinsed, chances are good, you will not keep any person’s attention. (And if you smell like that wet mop, chances are good you should shower before heading out into the dating scene again!)

Having a personality has a big influence on your looks, but it does vary from person to person. For instance, if you can hold an intelligent conversation, you will probably up your ranking. If you can make someone laugh, that will also help. Or how about trying to just be nice. If someone realizes you are a genuinely kind person, that will probably up your hotness levels as well.

The Ugly Tree!
The Ugly Tree! | Source

How does your sex appeal rate?

If you want the opposite sex falling at your knees, or you are just trying to get higher on the hotness scale, you must accentuate those traits other than your looks. Focus on improving your personality, confidence fame or fortune.

Now where does that put you on the scale? By simple observation, it seems the top of the scale and the bottom of the scale have more sex appeal than those in the middle. So, why do those in the middle have the least amount of sex appeal?

Those on the top of the scale are pretty lucky. They have all the options. They can date whoever they want on the entire range of the scale. Knowing they are already on the top, probably boosts their confidence. With the added confidence, they probably have learned to have a personality as well. With some fame and fortune, they are unstoppable. Their sex appeal is out of control.

The ones at the bottom reek of sex appeal as well. Have you ever run into that person who hit every branch on the ugly tree, yet, for some reason, never has to worry about not having a date on Friday night.

Suddenly, the not so attractive start to look a little more attractive. Why? Because they are funny. The key is, the ones on the bottom are constantly trying harder and harder to increase their sex appeal. They are working on getting higher on the scale, therefore they try harder. They also stay in their own league. Because of this, they will probably end up getting more dates.

The ones in the middle, they are a whole different story. They don’t realize they are in the middle. Therefore, they don’t try to increase their sex appeal. Instead, they are sitting at home all by themselves wondering why. It is as if they are trying to obtain the top notch hotties, because they are almost there. Yet, it doesn’t work. So instead of listening to “The Dating Theory”, they end up sitting at home alone.

Final Thoughts

There are several different dating theories out there. This one is purely based off of looks and sex appeal. Both of which, in today’s society, can be worked on. However, there is a lot of truth in the theory. For instance, if you ever truly look at a couple, does one usually look “out of the other person’s league?” Most likely not. That is because the most successful unions work when you date at the same level of the scale.

Now, by human nature, we judge each other. By looks, we are either attracted to another human or not. Each person does have a different taste, and even if the looks are what gets you there in the first place, it is the other traits that will eventually keep you there. It just goes to show, you should never judge a book by the cover. In life, it is the inside that really counts, and after the looks are gone, it is what is inside the person that will keep you attracted to them in the long run.

However, this hub is about dating and not about marriage. So, while you are out there having fun. You can read the book later.

The Dating Theory - Don't miss this video!

Watch the Video

 If you are in the mood for a good laugh, this video is not to be missed. This is the inspiration behind this hub. The reason behind the video is to start a discussion about "The Dating Theory." I would love to hear your comments below. In addition, don't forget to check out the video and leave your comments there as well. Thank you Darrel Wagner for the great idea. If you would like to check out other videos this man has made, check out his youtube profile here.

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Comments 128 comments

RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

It's totally true. I mean if a cute guy is looking for a chick - he isn't going to look across the room and strike up a conversation with the less attractive female and he would have no idea that she might be the very coolest female in the place! Tiake me for example - I'm pretty homely, I have never made a fuss out of my hair or makeup but Dave met me at work so then he found out I was cool. If he saw me in a bar - he probably would have been looking for a blue eyed blond with big uh eyes. So.

Haha! This is too funny BBG - I love the video guy - he is pretty demonstrative with his facial gestures and voices:)!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

Ha ha - I think the only reason my husband found me attractive was because the first sentence he listened to I said..."Banana split... hold the nuts!" I am pretty sure he only heard hold the nuts. LOL It must be a guy thing... lol

The guy in the video is my sister's boyfriend. He has done a few videos as a personal thing. He went to school for psychology so he wants to make people think. His videos are pretty cool. However, that was a total yupper voice he had going on. It made me homesick... lol


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

Real & Barber, Your problem is self esteem. Both of you are nice looing ladies, don't be affraid to use what you have. I know you're both married, that not what I meant. In many parts of life women can use their weils to their advantage. The worst thing you can do is hold yourself back. Look in the mirror, and see what others see.

In Jr & Sr high I would have been rated a minus 5. When I got to college I was an eight, and after that a 10. Of course singing at clubs helped, bu the self esteem I gained along the way enabled me to talk to ay girl.

I've seen nerdy guys have luck with good looking ladies, because other guys were affraid to talk to them. A lot of good looking ladies sit home at night, because too many guys think they must be going out. H


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

Ha ha - I think marriage lowered my hotness level. When I was in the top of my game, when I joined the Army... I had several men falling at my feet. My husband scared them all away... or maybe in a not so polite way... told them I was his. I truly believe we are all 10s one way or another. After all, tastes are different for everybody. Therefore a 10 in one person's eyes may be a 5 in the eyes of somebody else!


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Hi Barber girl..this was so good, funny too...I loved the video..okay I am kind of way past dating..I mean ..I can't really remember..actually I am just old..so..to the best of my recolection..good looking guys scared me..I liked the goofy funny guys that when they cleaned up they were actually so cute,..the goodlooking guys were too busy checking themselves out in the car mirror..lol so personality counts the most to me.

Great hub..I really enjoyed it..Thank God I am old and married..I don't think I could go through all the dating stuff again..haha

Sunnie


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Sunnie - I know what you mean:) I didn't like a guy that looked prettier than me! Lol!


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

Sunnie, I bet I'm a lot older than you, 62. I feel if a woman doesn't look me over, it's her loss. I'm also in a wheelchair.

barber, We are not all 10's, stop trying to play the good girl. There is reality out there. I was so ugly at one time girl's would tell me how ugly I was. H


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

Real, So you admit you're pretty! H


marellen 5 years ago

This is way too funny. BBG...Love the hub, the video and all the comments too.

@Harvey...you definitely don't lack the confidence or personality and thats a good thing.

First of all I gave up on bars and actually gave up (for now) on the whole dating thing. I agree that looks is important but shouldn't be everything. But I must admit when I was younger it meant more than now.

*Sunnie....I'm older than you and have been in that dating scene....its crazy but fun too.

@BBG, Real and Sunnie...you are all nice looking women and Harvey you're cute.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

@Harvey - I think I'm average really and am totally happy with that:) my husband is a 10! Haha! Being a 10 is pretty subjective so I'm sure there are a few guys out there that would kill or die for me.

Lol! Just kidding!

@Marellen - thank you so much! You are too kind:)

@BBG - I meant to say thank you so much for the mention! I love that and really appreciate it!


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

What a fun Hub! In my younger days I had all the men I wanted and then some. I was good looking and had more fun than I will admit. But now, I am fat and old and content to be alone. I feel badly for young women who long for love and only find men wanting sex.

I have seen gorgeous men with plain women. It is how they feel when with the woman. But we all know that first impression is all about looks.


cheerfulnuts profile image

cheerfulnuts 5 years ago from Manila, Philippines

I really love this: "even if the looks are what gets you there in the first place, it is the other traits that will eventually keep you there." I wish you have written this hub earlier! Now I know how to find a date! LOL. Thanks barbergirl! (fyi: I'm a lot hotter than my avatar LOL)


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

Mar, Handicapped, but not too confident for people that people notice it.

Real, You are so full of crap! You're a good looking lady, who makes you think this way? Your husband should be the one that helps you believe in yourself. "You are happy with being average," bullshit! As a man I have the feeling your husband is the guy, classic syndrome. He doesn't want guys to see what he has, sounds like he's scared of losing you. Does he frequently tell you how pretty you are and does he want to show you off?

Hyphen, Why have you given up? Lose the weight, and be confident. They will still come to you.

cheer, I think your avatar is pretty sweet! I agree with you almost completely. Of course looks is what you notice first, don't let any Psychologist tell you differently. Your confident, interesting personality keeps them. Of course being good in bed doesn't hurt. Drop inhibitions at the bedroom door.

Ladies, I have spent decades trying to help women. It is said that women are looking for men to save them. Truth be known, women are really looking for a man to save them from themselves.

I formulated some theories in psych 101, in 1967. They are now being taught at the Adler School of Psychology, of ourse they don't know I started them. One theory can help anyone. All it entails is looking into a mirror, asking the correct questions out loud, answereing the questions out loud and see if you believe your facial expression. You must be hoest at all times, you know yourself best.

I feel like, Dear Harvey. I apologize, but I want ladies to see who they really are. H


cheerfulnuts profile image

cheerfulnuts 5 years ago from Manila, Philippines

Thanks Mr. Harvey! It's an M&M's dispenser with lots of M&M's in it, I wish I could give you some.


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

LOVE IT! My husband and I met online and he refused to let me send him a picture, if you can believe it. He said the night he met me that I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen and has continued to say it since. Of course, I'm like a 20 on the hot scale and he is also. ;-) BUT, when it all comes down to it, we haven't been apart since the night we met in person. :-)


Truckstop Sally profile image

Truckstop Sally 5 years ago

Interesting! You truly cannot judge a book by its cover . . . but afraid many do. And they may be missing out. I like the flower clips with the picture inset in the video.


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

cheer, Hey, no mister! I would take some. My wife has her masters in clinical neutrition, not too many. I weigh 2 lbs. less than when we got married almost 34 years ago. She weighs 5 less. See what a damn education can do. H


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Harvey - I am so glad we ladies have you - sweet you! Haha! My husband is not at all the jealous type! He thinks I am a 10 1/2 and he loves to go out and show me off! Recently we went to the grocery together and often, he will stand in one place while I wander a little and I asked him, "why do you always do that?" he said I like to stand back and watch the other guys check you out. Then I like to walk up and stand by you so they will know that you are mine! Haha! his theory is that if you have a pretty lady don't be jealous when other guys look at her - be happy they want to:)

You are so smart though Harvey - I love the mirror idea:)!


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

Real, my husband always makes me walk in front. He says it's so I can set the pace because I walk slower, but it's really just so he can look at my tush...lol You've got a GOOD one in your Dave, I say! :-)


cheerfulnuts profile image

cheerfulnuts 5 years ago from Manila, Philippines

Ok Mi-- er-- Harvey. =)


Movie Master profile image

Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

What a fab hub! love your sister's boyfriend in the video - he's a natural and a definite 10!


marellen 5 years ago

@Hyphen....you don't need to lose weight and change your ways to catch a man. I'm 30lbs over weight but when I leave my home, my hair and makeup look great and so do my clothes. If I meet a man, I'm competing with hundreds of other women half my age but if you don't like the package then the hell with you. I'm tried of compromising for love. Right now it just isn't worth it.


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

Wow. Great hub. Back in the day, most of my conquest came through word of mouth and hustling with great robust at parties. If I found myself at a bar and needing to be fed, I saw it as a preditator thing. You know .. circling the herd, and cutting out the weak one. You're looking for a beautiful girl with a flaw. Maybe it's a minor case of acne or less than perfect nose. The way I saw it, at a bar you only get one shot , and if you miss, you scare off the whole herd. That's why I automatically found it necessary to go into preditator mode.

Now, you just circle your prey displaying extreme confidence, and study them. Before long they establish eye contact, then you make your move. One dance, one drink, then get em away from the herd quickly before her girlfriends try and talk sense into her. ( they spotted you as a danger early on) A late night breakfast, then it's "Your place or mine?"

Now that I've turned myself in as a material wittness and ratted on my own gender, I'd ask to be put in a Wittness Protection Program. Maybe a nice quiet place on the beach in Hawaii or Jamaica?? I love those outdoor bars on the beach!

jim


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Marellen - up and awesome! I'm going to find you and follow you for saying that! Sorry!

I totally protest the way society wants to push the message that women should be perfect or all the same size! My daughters favorite Twinkie shirt says, "it's what's on the inside that counts!". People should feel happy about themselves and their own special unique qualities - looks will always fade. A 10 is our own perception of a total package.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Sunnie - I had (have) a sweet spot for the nerdy guys. I always liked the video game geeks, the smarty pants, the comedians. I just loved who they were as a person. (Although I will admit that I didn't date a guy because he was shorter than me - how shallow)Not to mention, I can related to be intimidated by the good looking guys as well. They always made me nervous... and I hate when a guy spends more time on himself to get ready than I do... lol

I am glad that I am out of the dating scene as well. I hated the pressure and the loneliness when you weren't out on the town. I joke now because I can stay home on a Friday night and no one will judge me because I am spending quality time with my family. But if your on the dating scene, staying home by yoursef is almost a sin!

By the way - you don't look even a day over the same age as me. You are a 10 all the way!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@RealHousewife - Guys who are prettier than me are such a self esteem cutter. Ha ha - Besides - they leave no time for anything fun. They spend too much time looking in the mirror and styling their hair!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Harvey - yeah - I know we are not all 10s, but I am blinded by the inside of people... and every single person that has commented here is a 10.... because they are beautiful to me! :) And you have a great point - if someone looks a person over because they don't feel they are good enough - it is definately there loss! It is a sad reality that people are judged off their looks - but reality is what it is!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Marellen - I think that is true. When you get older, the looks seem to mean less. Not saying people just don't care but they are older and wiser and they realize there are other aspects of a human that are more important. I am glad you enjoyed this and thought it was funny. When I watched the video I couldn't help but expand on his thoughts and do this crazy hub!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Realhousewife - your a 10 and far from average. Ha ha - You are the whole package and your husband is darn lucky to have a woman like you. By the way - your very welcome for the link! I think it gave some great advice! You both have what seems like an outstanding relationhship! Alot of us can learn from that!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Hyphen - you bring up a good point. Sometimes it is how a person makes you feel when you are standing next to them. It is like a person who hangs out with, excuse the term, ugly friends, to make themselves stand out.

By looking at your picture - you are gorgeous and don't need to change a thing!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Cheerfulnuts - I am sorry I didn't write this hub earlier so you would have known what to do on the dating scene. And I love your avatar... it is a 11 on a scale of 10. But then again... I love M&Ms! :)


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Harvey - Thanks for telling all these ladies they are beautiful. All it takes is one person to boost the confidence a little bit.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@MO - That is crazy. You met online and he didn't want to see a picture at all. That is an awesome way of taking the looks out of the whole equation. It is great that you were both able to find someone on the same level. Finding someone who is a 20 must have been pretty difficult. Glad you guys found each other!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Truckstop Sally - My favorite part of the video is the part with the intense music... they are almost there. I call it the realization music. It made me laugh. The guy has a great sense of humor... lol

I hope this article is a great way for people to realize they shouldn't judge people from just their looks. You might be missing something real special!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Real and @MO - I like your husbands tactics. Standing back and watching the guys check you out so he can crush all their dreams... ha ha - then making a woman walk in front so they can look at your tush. What a great idea. My husband walks faster than me so I am always two steps behind. Maybe he is trying to make me look at his butt or something! LOL


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

We were made for each other - you know, because the average 20 is so intimidating! ;-) In truth, three days after he sent the first email and I heard his voice on the phone, I knew I was marrying him. Six days after the first email, we met in person at Starbucks. The rest is history. :-)


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Movie Master - I am glad you liked the video. I wanted to give him some promotion so he could get a conversation going on his end. His main goal is to get a debate started... or just a discussion. Not to mention - it was just a fun topic. I will pass on the information to him! He will be happy to hear how much people enjoy the video!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Marellen - You couldn't have said it better. People come in varieties. It is up to us to find the beauty in that. And if someone passes us by, it is definately there loss!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Jim - Thanks for keying us into the male tactics of the bar scene. I always felt it was a bit predatorish (I am a bit of a people watcher - and not being on the scene - If I am at a bar - I watch people's interactions) However, if you are to go into the Witness Protection program, I fear I can only afford the beaches in California. LOL - particularly because it is within driving distance. However, if you are really interested maybe we can start up a fund to get you to a better location that will be much safer. LOL :)


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Realhousewife - That is a great point you just made... perception is what helps us judge. Therefore, I do need your twinkie shirt. It would be a great advertising for this hub...lol

@MO - that is an awesome love story. Have you written a hub on that yet. If you do or did, let me know. I would like to link to it for this hub. I think letting people know that it isn't always about the looks is important. And, we are all dying to hear about the intimidation of two 20s meeting! LOL


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

We should all write a hub about how we met our husbands! Haha!

I hated the bar scene - I mean why not just put a hook in my back and sell me by the pound? Eh?


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

Wow, i am so glad I checked back in with this Hub. All of you are awesome and incredibly supportive. Harvey, you make a great point.

Marellen, you are right. The issue is inside myself not with a good man.

Barbergirl, thank you. You are so wonderful.

Much thanks to all of you fellow Hubbers. I love my Hub family.


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

BG,

The California coast, particulary Pacific Beach up to Huntington Beach is a problem, as did a lot of damage down there. I held the highest kill persentage on record at T.D. Hay's in Pacific Beach. Bikini wearing roller bladers were first in the cross hairs, and I got pretty proficiant in this target rich inviroment.

Perhaps Santa Cruz. The No Cal herd was a tough herd, and I have a poor track record there. I DID win first place in a Halloween contest as "Cher" with my Cher wig and ass. (note logo) I had plenty of oppertunity at that party on the Board Walk, unfortunatly from the wrong sex though. In any case I should be safe there as long as I wear pants. Shoot, that won't work will it? I forgot. Guess I'll end up in some huge compound somewhere with high walls and four wives. That should keep me busy until they track me down. I do not want a sea burial. I want to be stuffed and put behind the bar at T.D. Hay's ..

jim


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@RealHousewife - That is a great idea. I think I might just have to get started on that right away. I wonder if my husband will get offended if I guinia pig him again... ha ha!

@Hyphenbird - This community is awesome. The greatest part about Hupbages is that you can't really judge the person in the avatar. How do I really know the picture you put up is actually you. I think it is, but I have also seen cartoon characters around her too. With that being said, we are intrigued by the person and their words, which really shows the real person. The people here are great... they are supportive... and best of all, majority of them will never judge. That is because they like the interaction they can get from this outstanding site. BTW - you changed your picture! I like it!

@Jim - I am afraid when I first thought of the place to stash you away for Witness protection - I forgot about the fact that you don't wear pants. Although those options would be helpful since it would be warming it could be very dangerous. It will draw attention to yourself, and being that we are trying to protect you, we can't draw the attention. I am afraid no pants will have all the woman running after you. The men will get upset and the next thing you know.... lol ;)


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

real, Thanks for the compliment. I agree with your husband, so why do you think your only average? I'm glad you like my mirror theory, it hasworked for many woman. You should do it whenever you look in a mirror, or a least once a day. I have three other ladies doing it right now. We talk about it to make sure they keep doing it, if they have questions or for other self esteem advice.

Did you know YOU are the center of the universe! H


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

motown, You've got it all workin', babe! H

barber, I'm so sorry I have barged in on your Hub, it's because women don't usually understand how much they have, and are worth. I'm no doctor Phil, but many have enjoyed my advice. Of course many don't listen to me,that's their perogative. They are women! You peronally have told you are average. Sorry sweetie, you're NOT. H


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

Jim, I was the only guy here, I thought we were friends!

Talk like cut 'em from the heard get will nothing when the ldies here that. Picking out the weakest, why? You know you go after what you like. I never "went after" the girl I didn't want. In a bar there are so many to choose from. My favorite line is, hi! There isn't a lady put in fear by that. You have to start by assuring them they have nothing to fear from you, and make them laugh. Then let them talk. H


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

Harvey.

Yo bud we're tight. You're just a higher caliber stud than me my man. We're talking bout me before I grew up a little. I know that "cutting from the herd" talk isn't the way to win em over. A normal girl would want anything to do with an animal like my former self. Normal girls couldn't stand me, and still can't. I couldn't keep a straight face telling a girl she had nothing to worry about with me. (laughing) Harvey, you're a class guy. Always were, always will be. Me? I'm just working on it, and I'll never be the man you are my friend. I'm serious about that. My famous line was .. "You want me to break your heart?" No! "Neither do I, so let's get it over with, you deserve to be happy when you're old" That got em laughing and got me to the dance floor at least. then the real work began. In my defence, I WILL say, I always treated my girl friends good. No body disrespected them when they were with me, and showed them a fun time. Unfortunatly, I always seemed to be treating several good at the same time. It all caught up to me finally, and that's probably a good hub. If I could do it all over again, I'd probably do it like you Harvey. Shoot, who am I kidding? Like my hero Popeye used to say .. "I is what I is, and that's all that I is!"

jim


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

BG

I'm going to start wearing .. what are those damn things? Kilts! yea! That'll allow me to be true to my name, and give you some breathing room in getting me protected at the same time. That'll work girl!

ps; oooh padna! Look at that 99 hub score! Awesome!

jim


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Harvey - The mirror is a good tool. Although sometimes it is really hard because you are blinded by what you have always seen in the past. I have certain mirrors in the house that I like... and others... well, I will take the 7 years bad luck to break them. No one looks flattering in those mirrors. But thanks for letting me know I am not average. Average is a lonely place to be :) Barge in anytime. I like the attention! LOL

@Jim - Thanks for willing to start wear... kilts... That will give me some breathing room for sure... except now I am going to have to protect you from the people who go nuts over the kilts... lol... It seems like I will have my work cut out for me. :)

By the way - I would to have loved to watch you working the scene. You seemed like a pretty good player. I have acted like that in the past... depending on my mood and the friends I was hanging with. YOu sound like you would have been fun to hang out with in your animal like stance - barring no one was lookign for anything serious.

Oh yeah - and thanks for noticing my 99 hub score! Earlier in the week it jumped to a 100 and was there for almost a day. I was so excited, I almost cracked open a bottle of champagne! LOL


neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 5 years ago from new delhi

goshh this one is going to be tuff. i am a 3 on looks and want all the women who are 10 plus.

i am almost pauper most times so if i did date a girl she would have to by me a soda.( i am such a sissy i do not even drink)

i could try to puff my chest out square my shoulders and tell some nice jokes but hell , what is the point? barbergirl is taken, real housewife is taken Sunnie is taken- might as well stop trying too and rise to a 5 and stay there just ogling nice looking women.


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

Jim, It's, "I am what I am." I sent you that list of famous people from my H.S. The guy that did Popeye and Olive Oil's voice was the same guy. From my H.S. of course.

I tried a line for a while and hd success, but it wasn't me. "If all the girl's in (name of city you're in) looked like you, (name of city) would be more crowded than NYC. They all know it's BS anyway. How about, "you have great legs." And the girl is wearing pants. I forgot, you may not know what pants are, ha! H


dearabbysmom profile image

dearabbysmom 5 years ago from Indiana

barbergirl, you have written the magic hub and look at all this wonderful feedback. Well done! Very entertaining, Up and Awesome. To me the funny guys are the 10's. When my other friends were sighing over Tom Selleck, I only had eyes for Steve Martin. And it's good to know a lottery win guarantees instant hotness! Off to buy a ticket, lol!


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

Jim, barber always seems to have Hubs that make people keep commenting to one another, like us.

I want to see a pi of you in pants. Oh, they don't go on over your head! H


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

harvey,

I'll look around and see if I can find a pic with me in pants. I know I wore pants with my tux at my daughter's wedding. She insisted.

jim


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

Jim, You wore pants with your tux! So you wore one over the other, that I want to see. H


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

cheer, Just call me H. It's really easy to type.

hyphen, I hope it's the mirror you speak of. No matter what, thank you.

barber, The mirror is your best tool, it doesn't matter which one. By saying what you did, you are a defeatest. I'll be straight out, I'm not PC. Cut the SHIT! Inside you know you look good, you're full of it or want to say you don't look good so people will tell you otherwise. I think you know you look good, or are you blind? Why not do a poll on it, you know what the results will be. Use the mirror correctly, and stop playing games. H

All MOTHER'S, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!" H


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

BBG is well aware od her hotness Harvey. She's completely narcissistic. Where have you been? Please see her hub "I Have Been Attacked!" lol!


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

neelesh, Just act confident, women love that. But don't lose sight of who you are.

Real, I understand all too well, we've spoken one on one. What about you, are you faking also? This isn't an orgasm. H


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

dearabbysmom, What about a 10 who's funny, and is a great singer and athlete. That pic is me at 62, I think I'm older than Selleck, and don't talk to me about looks.

A good friend is a 1st cousin of Chad Everett. He showed Cad a pic of me when Chad was at his peak on TV. Chad said, I'm glad he wasn't up for my part. He then gave my fried an autograped picture ofhimself for me. I sent an autographed pic to him. i'll bet he wan't ready for that.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I was kidding. There is a difference. I don't appreciate you turning everything into a sexual innuendo it's rude, disgusting and insulting.

Keep it real!


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

Real, Why would you say that, I've only been nice to you? H


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Re: read the comment you left prior to this - do you think my husband would like it?


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

Real, You must mean orgasm. I've stated I am not PC, that comment meant any woman. Why are you so angry? Haven't you heard that most women have done it? No offense meant to you or your husband. If you want an apology, I am sorry. I hope you can forgive me.

One time you wrote, "BBG is well aware od her hotness Harvey. She's completely narcissistic. Where have you been? Please see her hub "I Have Been Attacked!" lol! Then you say, I was kidding. "I was kidding."

Every thing I say has to do with sex? Have you read all the things I've said. If you have changed your mind about me, and don't wish for me to reply to you, please say so. i'm not sure what you want from me. H


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Why do you think I'm angry. I'm not. I don't like what you said. Simple as that. In her hub someone accused her of being narcissistic. It was joked about in the comments of the I have been attacked article. I was kidding about her really having that trait.

I don't know what PC means...

Yes that is the comment I don't like - don't reduce everything to sex. And don't assume I want to discuss such a personal matter online.

I asked my husband if he liked the comment. He said no.

I don't want anything from you Harvey but I will not dignify or validate your sexual comments.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Neel - I hope you don't mind that I shortened your name... I have a hard time spelling it correctly. I think that if you puff out your chest that should raise you up ;) However, I don't know if it is needed. After all, sometimes the ones in the top of the category have a lower self esteem and like the ones who are more down to earth. Oh yeah, you can tell a joke too. Two cannibals just finished eating a clown.. One said, did that taste funny to you. That might work! LOL


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Dear Abby's Mom - Thanks for the compliment - I was actually amazed at how much attention that this hub has gotten. I don't think I would have gotten the idea if it wasn't for my sister's boyfriend (the guy in the video) Absolutley hilarious...

I like the guys that have a sense of humor. My husband is a funny guy. I think that is the reason I was so attracted to him was because it didn't matter what my mood was... he could always make me laugh! Oh yeah... and a guy that sings... that just brings me to my knees. I love that movie Moulin Rouge and because of that movie I am absolutely google eyed over Ewan McGreggor. However, I will agree... I think Steve Martin is a better choice than Tom Selleck. You have great taste!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Harvey - You bring up a great point! I want to see a pic of Jim in pants. Oh yeah... and I like the fact that we get interesting comments in the comment section. I love a great discussion!

@Jim - So how about writing a hub on the day you wore pants... great hub idea to take a break with! ;)

Oh yeah - and just because I can't help but mention it. On my wedding day, my dad did wear his tux, but he had to show me how nervous he was. He forgot to take his packer shorts off and wore them underneath. For the party part of the wedding... he removed his pants! Yep - you heard it right. My Dad was the man with no pants at my wedding... lol


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Harvey - yeah - I know how to use the mirror. And I can honestly say that only in person do I suffer from an occasional self esteem issue. But, that is a woman thing. It depends on the day and it depends on my mood. The great thing about writing is I can be the real me. In person I am pretty shy. You would never get that if you met me online first.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@RealHousewife - Thank you for remember how narcissitic I am. I wasn't sure if I should give up that personality trait or not ... lol :) I was thinking the arrogance would have been something stronger to compete with, however, I am still trying to figure out how to be profound! LOL

The funny thing is... since I wrote that article... I haven't really seen the guy around here that attacked me. It just goes to show that these trolls online do have a weak spot. Was it mean of me to point him out - probably - but I don't think writing inappropriate comments is appropriate. Keep up with your happy funny self! :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Excuse me while I take my eyes off of myself:)! Haha! You are profound - each hub reveals more of your brilliance:) I'm not being fake about that either! Just go look in the mirror and tell yourself how lovely you are and you'll probably become enchanted! Blow yourself a kiss even! How about a serenade! You can sing yourself a love song...LOL,


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@RealHousewife - Damn it - were you just watching me. I was just staring at myself in the mirror talking to myself and singing I feel pretty. I even blew myself a kiss! Wow - and I thought I was all by myself... ROTFLMAO! I guess I better make sure the doors are locked! LOL


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

She's the real deal in my superficial, egotistical, opinion. You're both cool.

j.


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

BBG, let me be a smartass (cos you're narcissitic and I'm a smartass) so by even replying to someone like and H is lowing yourself to look up to see the ground, and you can't do that, cos you're like... narcisstic and cool, kinda sleek level.

Isn't that like cool and profound, and by talking to females the way he does like what he said to RH just reflects on the values his mother brought him up on. Obviously none. He was probably a bi-product of sour milk and can't seem to shake off the sour part.

Jim rocks, and HeeeHAW was too blind to notice it was not from the front but to the back, so don't either of you let him rile a ruffle, cos we like jim, he's COOL AND FUN, AND FUNNY not a troublemaker or degrading to women, he's a gentleman! And when I say Jim is a gentleman, I mean "gentle-MAN" not at all stooping to your level and one more remark to either one of these ladies, and you might find yourself without an account period. As your IP address can be pegged even at a local hang out. Man up and be one or stay out, didn't ya read the rules up top, AND for that matter, go teach yourself how to type and use both hands.


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

I'm so hung up on myself, my house looks like a freakin fun house. You can get a broken nose just trying to go to the bathroom.

j


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

Jim yer scaring me LOL! OH speaking of that, BBG & RH.. remember the iPhone conversation? I actually put a towel over it and I'm not supposed to be the paranoid one of it! LOL! I thought.. omg either way I turn it, it has a camera! Maybe I shoulda mooned it! hehehe


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I feel pretty oh so pretty and witty and wise! Now don't you feel all better? And look at you now - so beautiful even animals from the woods would eat from your palms! Why I bet you feel like running through a field of flowers!

@Themanwithnopants - thank you!


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

Why was the music going through my head as I read that LOL.. I even imagined you wearing that long blue dress LOl!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Jim - thank you... we like the real deals! Is that like a frozen pizza? ;) Just kidding! LOL

@Katherella - I wouldn't have expected anything less from you. And because I have already taken narcissitic it is only fair that I allow you to be a smartass... however, I expect everyone to be profound. Oh wait... what am I talking about. It doesn't really matter to me what so ever! LOL

@Jim - Somewhere close to wear I live, my friends bought a house. The person before them must have liked mirrors. The only thing it is missing is a mirror on the ceiling. Gorgeous house, but never understood why so many mirrors were put up. The must have been hung up on themselves just like you and me... :)

@Katherella - I can't believe you covered up the Iphone. Ha ha - I so would have mooned it. Besides, who really has their phone out staring at them when they are using the bathroom. If anything, I have mine in my pocket. Then again, don't follow my advice... that is also how mine went swimming. LOL Maybe that is the reason it can become easy access! LOL

@Realhousewife - Man - you make me feel like Snow White. Only I am not sure of my feeling for dwarfs. They kind of freak me out a little bit. Although I am a sucker for Dopey... lol... He makes me laugh!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

Ha ha ha - cause it is a catchy song. I almost feel the need to run over to the next tab open up youtube and watch the video... blue dress though... naw - I am so not the girly girl. A girl in a dress is like having instant air conditioning. I am trying to get myself accustomed to the dresses for when it really gets hot and I need the instant air conditioning... lol... Don't mind me - must be the alcohol talking... lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Haha! It is a catchy song! Come on put a ribbon in your hair! Do it to freak Eli out! Use a big bow! You can get some glitter and youll sparkle like Edward in Twilight. Hey you don't happen to live in Forks do ya? LOL

Kat - see - you are a super hero! You help with everything:)


neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 5 years ago from new delhi

thanks for shortening me.hell it was getting to be a burden being called by the full name.

and i will try write another funny hub so that i can at least learn to score- a piece of useless knowdledge if there ever was one but then one takes comfort in that one at least knows.


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

Kath, Thanks for your comment, especially on my deceased parents. They were wonderful. Dad worked two jobs twenty hour a daysaying, you and your mother will always have food and shelter. Ya think we were rich? Mom worked part time, but was always home when I arrived. Food was always waiting. They suffered so I cold have, terrible values. Never lie or cheat, always smile at everyone.

I'm sorry, but I get real pissed when someone says anything negative about them. About what you said, they would have said to me. She doesn't know us, so why should we be bothered. Yeah, they screwed me up.

Try reading the beginning of these comments, and you will see the real me. This side comes out when attacked, I don't like this side of me. H


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

barber, Please remind me not to get involved, or tie my hands up. All I ever wanted to do is try to help others, look what it's gotten me.

We've written to each other many times, I need someone to let these ladies know I'm not a horrible indvidual. H


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Harvey - I asked you (and I typed it nicely) not to be vulgar and you came back with it a second time. Don't goad me. All I said was don't treat me like I'm a sex kitten. I won't respond to it. Sorry.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@RealHousewife - that sounds like a horror movie in the making. I mean - me in a real big bow! Ewww... scary!

@Neel - can't wait to learn something from your next funny hub with useless knowledge ;) Thanks for allowing me to shorten your name a little.

@Harvey - I am sorry that your parents got involved in the argument. I try to stay positive in the comments section of the hubs. I don't think you are a bad guy, but I do think the sexual innuendos aren't always appreciated. I know how you are and that you are not always politically correct all the time. You like to say it how it is, but inadvertently that can cause hurt feelings or husbands who don't appreciate the knock on their wives. For instance, in the eyes of all our husbands or significant others we are 10s. It is how attraction works. As women, we sometimes dont' always exhibit high levels of self esteem, and other times we think we are rocking the scene. I know for a fact there are times when I feel like a 10 and times when I would rather crawl under a rock and not be seen by any human! It doesn't mean that I am faking it or full of shit. I am however realistic and I don't want to sound like I am all into myself. I don't like being percieved as narssasistic or arrogant. I would hope that I don't come across like that. I am a rather humble person.

While the intent of this was to start a discussion it was not intended to start an argument. We do occasionally have our moments that we don't feel like we are at top of our game; those are our personal feelings. We don't need to be told we are lying to everybody else because we are seeking attention or told that we need to look in the mirror. To tell another person they are beautiful is great and a wonderful way for them to instantly feel better, but we shouldn't feel worse because of how we feel. I think we are all 10s - in different sizes, shapes and colors.

I did write a hub about constructive critiscism - I don't remember if you read it or not, but it talked about being attacked in the comments section. I don't like the negativity. I enjoy the interaction. I don't mind if it gets off topic - it happens all the time. However, if you sense someone starting to become offended, it is probably best to tone it down. Katherella can get very wordy when she feels her "girls" are being attacked.

Now, that is the last I am going to say about the negativity. Any other sharp witted comment that goes into attack mode will be denied.

Harvey - you are a nice guy and thanks for trying to help others. We know you aren't a horrible individual, but some woman don't like to be treated like that. The strong ones will dish it back.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Well put BBG - and I am not a prude - I do have great sense of humor but I have boundaries that I would like to be respected. I was honestly not angry - I was just trying to convey that I don't think some of that was appropriate. I do want to respect the person who wrote the hub and also don't want to make BBG's fans feel bad. Some things are off limits and more appropriate on other forums.


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

Alright, alright. I gotta put in my two or three cents worth. Fact is, EVERYONE is SOMEONE's 10. Period. I jokingly stated that I was a 20. There are some who feel that I'm just two 10's grown together. Ugh. Whatever. The hub has a disclaimer folks. If you don't have a sense of humor, get over it. If you're not politically correct, there's nothing wrong with that, but be prepared that there are snitty comments that may ruffle the feathers of even the strongest and most open minded birds among us. That said - whether you get fat, get bald, or get lazy, the one who loves you is always going to love you. And, if you're out cruising bars or beaches full of bikini clad rollerbladers (no offense intended no pants), are you really looking for love or do you just wanna get laid?

So. Everyone cut the crap. Leave cute, quippy stuff of Barbergirl's hub or don't leave anything.

Love and hugs and peace to all! :-)


Credence2 profile image

Credence2 5 years ago from Florida (Space Coast)

As someone so wisely stated ,everybody is somebody's "10".

In my experience, it is when I stopped trying so hard that things start to happen. When you finally get raging testosterone under control and the influence of constant commercialism (the insecurity it promotes) as to who and what we need to be to find the perfect mate and be happy, then you can sit down, relax and deal with people as they are.

As always BBC, spot on, thanks....


Harvey Stelman 5 years ago

barber, All my life I have protected and helped women. I threw in a very short sentence, and the perception of me is hurt. I apologigized for it, but do not think I will live it down.

I can only say that I am truly saddened if I was taken so harshly. Again, I never said that term only applied to one woman, but all women know it happens, as do men.

Real, will you accept my apology? H


Harvey Stelman 5 years ago

Real, I just read "sex kitten." In no way did I ever put you in that category. H


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Harvey - I will accept your apology. Thank you.


Harvey Stelman 5 years ago

Real, Thank you very much for you acceptence. H


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Now see we all made nice. Let's just keep it that way because it's a lot more fun!

Party on!


mythicalstorm273 profile image

mythicalstorm273 5 years ago

As much as I love the nice talk about everybody being a 10... I think that kind of ruins the point Darrel makes in his video. As you get older looks matter less, but in the general dating scene looks still matter a great deal and if you honestly judge your looks somebody has to be above somebody else. Sadly that means not everybody can be a 10.


Credence2 profile image

Credence2 5 years ago from Florida (Space Coast)

"but in the general dating scene looks still matter a great deal and if you honestly judge your looks somebody has to be above somebody else."

All of that is still quite subjective, beauty is still in the eye of the beholder. Many would freak out a lot less if they could accept that simple truth. Who sets these standards, anyway?


mythicalstorm273 profile image

mythicalstorm273 5 years ago

I agree with that... everybody has a different scale. And the whole thing is shallow. I mean I could look at one person and give them a rating of a 9 and somebody else might give them a 4 but they are still being judged to a certain degree. Anyways the whole point was not to try and make people feel bad about themselves. The point is to understand that there are still certain 'leagues' and most of the time you won't see a supermodel dating Quasimodo... no matter what 'number' you give each individual. They still look very different and have different strengths. And although I hate the idea of being shallow as much as most people nobody can deny that the sad state of the world pretty much revolves around people being shallow now days. At least that is my thoughts on the topic. But heck maybe I just know a lot more mean and judgmental people than the nice people on here...after all I'm new here, but I can already see a family quality and that doesn't usually exist in the places I've been.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@RealHousewife - thanks. I wasn't trying to fight your battle but I didn't want the negativity getting out of control. Glad to see that it has toned down.

@Motown - You said it better than I could have. If I would have known that, I would have chased you down and said you need to go comment now! LOL This is a very debateable topic but not one that is intended on starting arguments. Thanks for putting in your two cents :)

@Credence - those are wise words. Because if you really sit back and people watch you will notice there is almost always someone for somebody. If not, this would be a very lonely lonely world. I might have to steal that phrase - everybody is someone elses 10. It might not start off like that right away, but eventually they will become that way.

@Harvey - thanks for your apology. Don't worry about not living it down. I am sure it will be forgotten about. I understand you meant well. And now that everything has been made nice... party on :)

@Mythical storm - First off... yeah... I am so happy you finally came aboard the Hubpages boat!!! And for those who don't know... this is my sister. Sister - meet hubpeople... hubpeople meet sister. :)

Ok - now back to the topic at hand. Sadly in the dating scene... looks do matter. Therefore you are very correct. We can't all be a 10. But luckily, once we have found that special someone - we will become a 10 in there eyes. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. And even then, we have all been ranked someway or another.

@Credence - Good question! Who does set these standards? Some might say the media. After all, that is who we learn about beauty. Look at all those stick thin models that are all the rage. Or the top 100 most beautiful people in People. Sadly, it is the people with the cameras and the writeups that seem to be setting the standard of beauty.


Credence2 profile image

Credence2 5 years ago from Florida (Space Coast)

"At least that is my thoughts on the topic. But heck maybe I just know a lot more mean and judgmental people than the nice people on here".

Good thoughts, Mythical Storm.

We all know that the "Beauty and the Beast" fairytale is just that, in reality. But maybe if each of us agree to be more objective in our evaluation of people, we can each concentrate on being better human beings. Beauty vs uglyness is the last of our basic prejudices. In our human fraility we cannot rise above such things, but the obscenity is having people follow a template set by others as to what is beautiful or not. It has otherwise attractive people clawing their eyes out trying to 'toe the line'. A funny film comes to mind it is entitled "Looker" (1981) a sort of a sci-fi/satire on the modeling industry. Best wishes to you and to BBC for offering stimulating material to discuss.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Perfectly right - I am so sorry I got a little out of hand and all sassy! I hate when that happensmust just know you'll forgive me. Now go give yourself a wink in that mirror;)!


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Geez BBG, you sure provoked the comments :) I am so fricken exhausted after reading the article and comments, I really don't have anything to say now. But I sure enjoyed the entertainment. Thanks all!


Harvey Stelman 5 years ago

Real, I looked in the mirror and couldn't find me. When I do I'll let you know. Damn, where did I go? Oh, we are fine. H

barber, I'm going to ride my wheelchair into the sunset, it's beautiful. H


Harvey Stelman 5 years ago

nee, Shorter, is that better? H


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Mythical - That is some great points. We are living in a shallow world. I feeel sometimes the people that I am around can be really mean when it comes to judging people. I have been working really hard on trying to keep my eyes open wide and accept everything. Maybe it is because I have heard a lot of judgemental comments from people talking and it disturbs me. I don't want to be like that at all.

@Credence - I am going to have to check out that movie. It sounds very intriguing. In fact, I went straight to Netflix and added it to my queue.

@RealHousewife - I knew you had a sassy side to you ;) I am actually really intrigued by how much discussion this topic has hit. It is almost a sore spot in a way. So many people out there will judge, but when it comes to being judged it hurts. Hopefully this, even though it was written comically, will be a good eye opener to try and look deeper.

@Sharyn - Glad you enjoyed the article and the conversation. It has been a heck of a ride along the way! LOL :)

@Harvey - funny! I turned the light off and glanced in the mirror and lost myself for a second. LOL... now go and enjoy the sunset! :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Yes it will BBG. I have learned a lot!


mythicalstorm273 profile image

mythicalstorm273 5 years ago

This type of discussion makes Darrel proud! I really believe in order to judge ourselves and make improvements we have to understand the people around us. With out these ideas... and thanks to Darrel... this theory we can not improve the way we judge others. It is an eye opening conversation that allows people that are not happy with themselves to change if they desire. Of course that is probably not most of the people that have or will read this hub, but by bringing the attention to the topic it might trickle down to somebody who will need to hear and see the topic.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

@ mythicalstorm - I do believe that Darrel's theory is absolutely right. All kidding aside. I also had a class that pointed out that people also tend to stay within their own social stratification systems - for instance middle class people date middle class people and upper classes date upperclasses. So this seems the same but pertaining to our comfort zones of attractiveness. It makes a lot of sense too because those are the people we would feel most comfortable with. Let's say a person who has relatively grown up poor goes to a rich guys house for dinner - I hope she knows which is the salad fork:) I knew because I put myself through college cleaning other people's houses part time;)! Haha!


mythicalstorm273 profile image

mythicalstorm273 5 years ago

You know I've learned about the middle class and upper class thing too and I never connected it. That is a really interesting advancement in his theory. I am excited for him to hear about it!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

The thought just kept nagging at me and it really seems to go together too. Of course there are always exceptions (I did see pretty woman!) just kidding! But you know what I mean? Thanks!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

That is a great take off. I know looks wise people feel more comfortable when they are thinking they are dating parellel. For instance, even for me, if I felt a guy was out of my league, it would never work, because I just wouldn't feel comfortable dating him. However, the same goes with social class. When I was in high school, I had a hard time relating to those that had money. I felt uncomfortable in the presence. Knowing that I didn't come from high class, made me feel out of place associating with them... oh yeah, and I don't know what the point of a salad fork is. Seriously, what is wrong with using the same damn fork! LOL

Hope Darrel is excited about all this discussion!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Yes those Invisible lines exist in our minds. How long have we accepted the phrase that "he/she is from the wrong side of the tracks" idea? I don't think anyone needs an explanation for what those tracks divide.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

Ha ha - I live on the wrong side of the tracks... oh wait, no I don't... I live on the tracks. I like to live dangerously! LOL


BenjaminB 5 years ago

Barbergirl I tend to lean towards the opposite of this theory. When I see a woman with perhaps a little less confident look I see a woman who is not too full of herself,one who will appreciate me more and one who is not about following the mainstream and would more than likely have a more down to earth feel while hanging out with her.I don't mean totally ugly of course, she still needs to have a couple cute features but that extends to the fact that no relationship will work without having a great sex life as well.Society can keep it's rat race when it comes to dating for shallow reasons, I want to find something truly real.Not sure how you intended this hub,but I sensed that there was perhaps plenty of tongue in cheek with a dash of agreement.


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

@Benjamin: I get what you're saying but I have had said to me by men that my mannerisms make me more attractive because apparently I'm rather animated when I'm talking to people, and while I don't think I act "full of myself" (cos I love more full of ice cream)LOL but the same ones who I attract say the same thing. My male friend took me to a concert so I wouldn't be alone (girl in bar ya know) and he said I was so busy flittering around talking to other fans of the band, a guy kept following me to talk to me and I didn't see hi and just before he'd get the chance to say anything I'd shoot off to talk to someone else, and we were all laughing and having a great time, and who knows it could of been a super sweet guy and I might of seemed like I snubbed him and I never ever meant to be that way to anybody. And I have a few photos where me and a friend were goofing around and girl dancing like TOO CLOSE apparently LOL and the band messed up LOL! And when we went to our table it had so much beer we had to give them away, it wasn't like we were dirty dancing or anything just being silly! Maybe I should make a hub and it will get clicks huh lol!!! I think my point is just that it is a demeanor of a person can be attractive too. Also another guy who writes hubs I read said it's some scientific thing that girls have a scent much like an animal when it comes to meeting. First of course is looks always, but here is the link I made a joke to him about it, that me and the other lady should invent the perfume.

hubpages.com/hub/Female-Contraceptives-Make-You-Less-Appealing-to-Men (makes-you-less-appealing-to-men (it cuts off to not promote other hubpages unless we're writing a hub about the person his name is perrya anyway.


mythicalstorm273 profile image

mythicalstorm273 5 years ago

Benjamin: You make a great point about the confidence thing. The whole point of the confidence is that it might be a tool to make you more attractive to some people, but just because this is an observation that Darrel made, and Barbergirl used for her hub, does not mean it applies to everybody. In fact it is really great when somebody can look at themselves and disagree with what has been discussed because it shows what a great person you probably are. Not that people who can't say the same thing aren't great. The whole idea is that everybody looks for something slightly different and different mannerisms catch the eye of different people. I hope you find what you are looking for though because with your ideals it would probably be something super special!!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Benjamin - I, and probably many other females out there, wish there were more men out there like you. It seems that you look past the looks and will try to find the girl that fits your style. Of course, that doesn't mean you aren't looking for someone you are attracted to, but it is a nice thing for us to know that not all men are going for the 10s. Cause frankly, and while I do joke about it, we can't all be 10s. It is the relationship that really matters in the long run, and from my experience, the more time I spend with someone, the more I like them, and the more attractive they can become. Thanks for pointing out something very important in this discussion... and thanks for seeing that alot of this is tongue-in-cheek writing. While I do believe in the theory somewhat, I do believe we are strong enough to break away from it and look a little deeper. Oh yeah, and thanks for the link again. :)

@Katherella - I think mannerisms have a tendency to show your confidence, which like I mentioned, can boost your hotness level. That being said, in the case of a bar scene where alcohol is involved, alcohol can induce you to act in ways you might not act in other places. It can also give others beer goggles. For that reason, 9 times out of 10, I wouldn't suggest the bar scene if you are looking for something serious.

@Mythical - Great point there. I love when someone can look at this and realize they don't fit the mold. While life does revolve around how you look, it is only when you become comfortable with yourself and have matured that you realize how little the looks actually matter.


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

Oh I didn't mean to be confusing about the bar scene, I worked for the singer, so of course I was meeting new people and letting them get a space up front. He's in a rock band if you look at my FB page and see Kory Clarke that is who it is. He played my state that night, the guy who took me cos he likes the band as well as so I wouldn't go alone he is the one who told me i was busy talking to fans and showing my vinyls too because fans didn't know those cd's had even come out in vinyl so it didn't give the guy who was attracted to me a chance to talk to me. We'd only been there a hour or so, there wasn't time for anyone to be drunk yet, and i wasn't out to look for anyone, so I was focused on the fans and keeping them happy and informed. Just to clear that up. The guy i was married to for 15 years I met in a bar but we didn't divorce on bitter terms, it's a long story it's in the poem hub. The guy who is my life partner is who I talk about reflecting with.

I know it sounds weird, that I can say we've been in love 30 years, but I was married for 15 of it to someone else, but i don't think anyone picked up on why... now i have to go fix my shift key something is under there making my right handed capitols lol. darn laptops! grrr! :)


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Katherella - and here I thought you had put on your booty pop and headed out on the prowl... lol! That makes sense though. If you are with the band then of course you want to talk to all the fans. Sounds like fun! I guess if I was busy I probably wouldn't take any notice to what is going on around me either.

Have fun fixing your shift key. I got something stuck under one of my keys once and it was driving me nuts because I thought one of my keys stopped working. It would have been weird to have never been able to use the N again. How would anything make sense anymore - I use N alot when I write... lol


Sun-Girl profile image

Sun-Girl 5 years ago from Nigeria

Great article dear, am so much in love with the way you always present your hubs,am rating this particular high.love it.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Sun-girl - thank you so much. I am glad you enjoyed it.


blueorpurple profile image

blueorpurple 5 years ago

what a interesting hub u write. ...... :)


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@blueorpurple - Thank you. I am glad that I can make people think. :)


dusy7969 profile image

dusy7969 5 years ago from San Diego, California

Amazing hub.This hub is very interesting and useful.I am reealy enjoy from this hub.mythicalstorm you say right if the person have the confidence then it make more attractive to people.So thanks a lot for this good sharing.

Thanks barber.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Dusy - I am glad you enjoyed this hub. I truly believe that attraction is a big part in dating. But, as many people have discussed, how attractive you are really depends on the entire package.


KateWest profile image

KateWest 5 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

I had little problem attracting men when in my twenties. Now it's a lot more work. Cycle of life!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@KateWest - Thanks for stopping by and commenting... I have to say... I am glad I am out of the dating cycle. Nothing in life is much more stressful.


TheMonk profile image

TheMonk 5 years ago from Brazil

Funny hub. However, I don´t think your score must be equal or higher than the person you are interested in. It all depends on the self esteem and likes of the person. I met a girl once that, despite being a solid 10, really enjoyed fat people. It was a mater of personal taste, tough.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@TheMonk - I agree... The Dating Theory can be very debatable and can vary from person to person. Self esteem and personality definately play a big part. Thanks for stopping by. Glad you enjoyed the hub. Definately makes a person think! :)

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