The One Option Man Vs The Multi-Option Woman In Modernity

For the last 50 years there has been a concentrated effort to liberate women and only women from their traditional role of nurturer and child rearer. Giving women more options to pursue their ambitions is good news for everyone and I am in complete support of it. However, virtually nothing has been done to liberate men from their traditional role of provider and breadwinner. So men have essentially been left behind where they were 50 years ago. There is mass apathy towards men’s issues in society and men’s struggles are more or less invisible to our political leaders and mainstream media. We literally have hundreds of women’s organisations and virtually no support structures for men at all. We are told by feminists that men are “privileged” and yet these same individuals are celebrating what they are calling, “The End of Men” (see my article linked here about that). Young men are struggling in education and in finding employment and yet this is the subject of ridicule and laughter. Hanna Rosin and Maureen Dowd’s articles and books typify this cruel and heartless sociopathy (my related articles on that are linked here and here).

What we have at the moment is a social imbalance which will progressively destabilise our western economies and the societies that depend on them over the coming decades. Indeed it has already started. However, because we live in a gynocentric society that views all gender issues as women’s issues and all men’s issues as non-issues, we seem oblivious to the cliff we are heading towards. We have raised two generation’s of men (Y and Z) and soon to be a third, that are now less educated than their male elders. This is occurring at a time when our economies are becoming more and more knowledge based. Meanwhile, we have government debts and unemployment that continues to spiral out of control and yet we still are either ignoring the elephant in the room or worse celebrating it like Rosin and Dowd. There is going to come a time when the weight of this social problem will be too great for our economies to bare. It will be dam interesting to watch gender ideologues go “about-face”, when they are forced to confront reality and the unsustainable nature of their double standards and man hating bigotry. That is of course assuming they are not too old by then. I hope the reporters come into the nursing homes or whatever hole these bigots have crawled into by then and put them in the spotlight. Accountability is a pain for some, but rest assured you will eventually reap what you sow.

So what is happening? I have discussed the boy crisis in education over seven other Hub articles which can be reached via my Hub Profile. However the educational crisis facing boys is connected to something much more fundamental and that is the subject of this article. To put it bluntly, we have a one option life path for young men and a multi-option life path for young women. Men are still expected to be the provider or bread-winner and we are still expected to put our well-being last and other peoples needs first. Our society and culture still expect men to earn money someone else spends (namely our female spouse) while we die sooner (men live on average 5 years less than women, mostly because of higher work and stressed related diseases such as heart disease). Despite all of their rhetoric about gender equality, feminism with its obvious gynocentric focus, has conveniently done nothing to change that. Meanwhile women have been liberated from their role and young women have been “empowered” with multiple options. Women can choose to work full-time, part-time, not work at all and/or raise children. Our modern societies and culture are very accommodating to what women choose to do with their own lives. Too bad it is not the same for men.

Let me illustrate that with an example. Say I have two young people named Jack and Jane. Jane can decide to go to university and upon graduating either work full-time, part-time or not work at all and raise children. If Jane is lucky, she can marry a man with a really high paying job and both not work and not raise children. Society and our culture are perfectly okay with women not working at all and spending the husband’s money while he develops heart disease from work-related stress and working 50 plus hour weeks. Now let’s look at Jack. Should Jack be part of the fortunate male minority that now goes to university, Jack has only one option encouraged by our society and culture and that is to work full time. Working part-time for fully grown 30 plus men is frowned upon, hence the use of the shaming term “grass eater” for young men in Japan today. If Jack has no job and tries to stay at home and look after children, he is not regarded as a “man”. He is instead ridiculed and labelled a bum for not having a job. If Jack attempts to be a “househusband” without kids, the social pressure goes up many orders again. The moment men dare to imitate the traditional female role there is suddenly hell to pay. Despite attempts by our PC culture to promote role reversals on TV, in reality our society is not very accommodating at all to men bucking their traditional gender role.

Not only is this the widely held status quo in society, it is also reflective of the general attitude of women. A study in Australia found that women would prefer men to be full-time breadwinners while women stay at home or work part-time (see adjacent video). Tom Leykis cheekily pointed out how this could possibly be news! It is like saying the sun rises every morning. Everyone knows this, but since it is not politically correct to discuss it, it remains unaddressed. So what happens if men attempt to be the stay at home spouse? Well the moment men attempt to switch roles, then suddenly women don’t seem very accommodating. As the adjacent video describes (which I seriously urge people to watch), women just don’t find househusbands attractive. Of course there are exceptions, but frankly unless you have your head in the sand, this is the unspoken social norm. Women want men to work full-time and to earn more money than they do and finance their desired lifestyle. Female hypergamy is a reality. Why is it taboo to discuss this? Is it because it is misogyny? No, it is really because it is an inconvenient truth. The moment we acknowledge this reality, then suddenly we can no longer deny that we treat men as disposable utilities or ATM workhorses and impose double standards on them. Notice I said we. The snakes can quote mine me out of context if they want and falsely label me a misogynist, but it is the truth and I also think men are partly to blame. Men are conned, cough, sorry, socialised, just as women are to value only the traditional breadwinner form of masculinity and to ridicule those men that bend the rules. Men who buck the trend are no longer regarded as “real men” by other men (especially older more traditional men). So men are just as much responsible for this problem as women are and so is our wider culture that reinforces it.

Now let us look at this situation in the context of family law and divorce law. It is a reality that there is a large gynocentric bias in favour of women in both instances. You could call it “female privilege”. Should things deteriorate in a marriage in which Jane is a housewife or stay at home mum, she can rely on the courts to force Jack to financially support her post-divorce, carve up the assets he has worked for and paid with his own money and give her primary custody of the child. Jack has no such bias in his favour. Marriage and family is a far safer and sweeter deal for women in modern society than it is for men, regardless as to their relative employment arrangements. Frankly I consider modern marriage under our court system to be nothing more than legalised slavery for men. Think I am being too harsh? See the adjacent video above (and my related article on the marriage strike and parasitism linked here), then reflect on your initial judgement.

Two things emerge from comparing the life paths of men and women. The first is that women have a lot of more options as to how they live life and balance work and family. Hence women’s cries over the dilemma of choice or trying to have it all. The second, is that women face a lot less risk and uncertainty in their life path thanks to the courts and the greater average job security of female dominated occupations (teaching as opposed to being a financial trader). These two factors have two broad implications. Women are freer to do what they want to do, rather than being socially pressured to pursue a high powered occupation. Personal interests and life balance can be prioritised above income. Consequently women are freer to study what they want to learn (such as humanities as opposed to finance). Men on the other hand are expected to be in high powered occupations and earn the high income. Men are evaluated on those measures by other men and by female suitors. The second implication is that women face a future ahead of them that they can feel more certain about and plan toward. The greater certainty is also very reassuring, generates less anxiety and makes the future appear less daunting.

This brings me to the key point of this article. Young men face a future that is considerably less appealing than their female counterparts. They have fewer options and face greater risks in work, study, marriage and family life. They are expected to earn a high income that someone else will spend while they die sooner and to put their interests, passions, well-being and health second to that priority. This is where the male mid-life crisis comes from. Men reach their 50s and then realise what they have sacrificed and rush to make up for it. Then they are cruelly ridiculed for trying to be who they really want to be. Generally the higher paying male dominated occupations require long hours, travel, large responsibility, less job security, greater exposure to risk and much greater stress. Work related stress and heart disease is a huge killer for men. Why should men get on the treadmill to earn extra money at the expense of their health, that women will spend and when women are quite capable of earning their own money? Just thought I would jump ahead to a later part of this article. Anyway, once married and raising a family, men face a constant threat of financial and psychological ruin from a divorce process that does not respect fatherhood or a husband’s rights. Suicide is a silent epidemic among male divorcees, as many men are left abandoned and guttered by the legal system and family courts.

Boys start becoming aware of the daunting male role that awaits them roughly around ten years of age. As they go through adolescence they become more and more acquainted with their role as disposable financial utilities for women and society. Dr. Warren Farrell has investigated this socialisation process thoroughly. As boys learn what constitutes being a man in the eyes of society, the suicide rate for boys relative to girls starts to sharply rise. Eventually it plateaus at several multiples of their female counterparts in early adulthood. Prior to ten years of age, the suicide rate is at parity between boys and girls.We effectively condition boys to accept that their role as men is to ignore their own well-being and to work for someone else’s benefit to gain acceptance in society. Young men and boys are taught to equate strength with ignoring their own pain. We con men into performing this role at the expense of their health, fulfillment and well-being, with money and social status. This is what feminists call male privilege. Well you can take your male privilege and shove it! What feminists call male privilege, is really a bribe that men are asked to pay with their long-term health, happiness and even their lives. Sorry not interested, go find another sucker.

So now perhaps we can start looking at the boy crisis in education and the phenomenon of “failure to launch” without the blinders on. To a large extent, the academic performance and personal development or maturity of men and women is based on motivation. People are motivated when they have a future they can look forward to and work toward. People need some worthwhile future goal to justify the effort they are required to put in to get there. When young girls and boys start contemplating their futures as adults, they see very different outcomes. As boys become more and more aware of what awaits them, they are more likely to commit suicide than girls. Why not? That really is not unexpected. Their futures are relatively more personally unfulfilling, confined, stressful and risky than that of their female counterparts. One gender is expected to behave like a robot and the other is expected to look after themselves.

Consequently, with a relatively less personally fulfilling and more daunting future to work toward, boys are less motivated to apply themselves than girls in school/college et cetera and their academic performance suffers accordingly. Then we start seeing what some call the “Peter Pan” syndrome. A growing number of young men are not wanting to mature into compliant ATM workhorses that society expects of them and are instead having a protracted adolescence. They are abandoning the marriage and family track. They know they can be thrown on the financial scrap heap and ripped away from their children if they aspire to become fathers and get divorced. Many of them have seen that happen to their own fathers.

Another point to consider regarding “failure to launch”, is that it is relatively easier for a young 23 year old woman to marry an older wealthier man (say 30 year old) and pop out a couple of babies. Her 23 year old male counterpart has to earn money and build his career for another 5-10 more years before he will even be considered marriage material by most women (lets be honest shall we, female hypergamy exists). Girls mature faster because it is easier and less stressful for them to reach the end point of getting married and becoming a parent and thus they respond more earnestly. Frankly it bemuses me to no end that these people calling young men “man-boys” can’t see the obvious. Especially when considering our current dire economic climate where building your wealth and career is very tough for young men. Please keep in mind also, that young men are becoming more absent from our university campuses and are aware of the divorce process from the so-called marriage/family life they are being told they should aspire to.

Men have no incentive and motivation to apply themselves, because what they are being asked to develop into is very unappealing and frankly toxic to their well-being. Furthermore, no one is giving them an alternative life path that takes into account the harsh realities of a society that marginalises their rights and interests. Without motivation their education and personal development plummets relative to women.

Compounding the boy crisis in education and so forth further, are the other factors I mentioned on the gender education gap (see my seven other articles on that from my Hub Profile). One particularly large factor I mentioned, was the rise in fatherless households (see brilliant adjacent video on fatherlessness) and the shortage of male teachers. While these young men become aware of their toxic male role, many of them have no male role models they can turn to for guidance or support and that can empathise with what life is like to be a boy or young man. This can lead a number of young men to check out of the social system entirely and turn to a life of crime and gangs. Or some of them check out of life altogether. Some young men commit suicide and others go on shooting rampages in shear frustration as they become acutely aware of just how little society cares about men. I obviously don’t think either outcome is acceptable, but we do need to start taking responsibility as a society for fueling the conditions that lead to such destructive mentalities in young men. We should not wash our hands of partial responsibility and just write these tragedies off as that of a lone nut. Our man hating society and culture is partly to blame and perhaps if we started treating men as human beings we could avoid these tragedies. But I guess it is easier for the sociopathic leaders in the media, politics and feminism to play the blame game and make sweeping generalisations about how inherently evil masculinity is.

I will conclude this Hub with a message for young men and boys. In this society your female counterparts have as much access as you do to education and employment. Gender equality does not mean all of the benefits and none of the responsibilities and obligations that go with it. In this society it is perfectly justified for men to expect women to have equal obligations and responsibilities. It is no longer the job of men to provide for women. Women can and should be expected to pull their own weight. That means you should no longer expect yourself to earn a high income for someone else’s benefit. If women want the extra money, then let women apply themselves like men have to and earn it themselves in high powered and high stress occupations.

Stop allowing yourself to be conned into acquiring social status and income for the sake of being socially accepted by society or to meet the checklist of female suitors. That is how your identity as an individual is being stripped from you. Instead start placing your own health and fulfillment first. Decide for yourself who you are and what you will become. Don't let other people build your identity as a man for you. Women do these things, so why shouldn’t men? Gender equality works both ways. If you start doing that, then you will start choosing educational and career options that you had previously shunned because you were more concerned with what society and women thought of you. You will find that your interest and motivation at school or college will start to dramatically increase as you are doing something you actually want to do and face a personally desirable future. Your academic performance will start rising with your motivation, thanks to a natural work ethic that will appear to come from nowhere. Find male role models in the field you aspire to work in and learn from them. Above all, respect yourself and don’t fall for being made to feel shame for looking after yourself. You are not less of a man for acknowledging your own pain and doing something about it. Don’t permit society to dehumanise you, you deserve better. Don't be afraid either to assert your human rights, free speech and right to justice and equal treatment before the law.

With respect to women, you have every right to expect women to pay their way when you go out and do things together. That also includes later on when you are paying off a mortgage or raising a family. They are educated and can get a job just like you and earn money just like you. If women expect men to pay for themselves, then why shouldn’t men expect that of women in our modern society? In this current climate with how the laws are with divorce and family courts, you need to be very selective about who you settle down with and in what context you do so. Men are taking the far greater risk and you should be very picky. Personally I would avoid marriage altogether, select a de facto relationship and be cautious about starting a family. Fatherhood and husbands rights are not respected or protected in our society, so why bother supporting their system? Invest your energy in your career instead and pick your women for relationships or fun on your terms. If you want a child, then consider adopting one or paying a surrogate and minimise your risk. It is a simple cost/benefit equation.

Either way, it is a potential hazard now for men to enter into long-term relationships with women thanks to the law. If you do choose marriage, make sure you get legal advice, consider a prenup (a must if you ask me), vet the woman you are with (Is she sane? Does she have a questionable past history?) and educate yourself about the divorce and family laws in your state. Proper prior preparation goes a long way to avoiding being financially and psychologically guttered down the road. Whatever you do, don’t rush into things and carefully consider and plan your long term actions. It is better to give narcissistic and dishonest women a wide berth than to pay for it later. Also bear in mind that the law is now a weapon that enables women who are false accusers, to level false career and life destroying allegations against you because you are male (see article on that linked here). You need to protect yourself and that means choosing the women in your life very carefully. You have every right to expect women to treat you as they would want you to treat them. You are not a doormat and you should expect understanding, compassion and equitable treatment from women (please see above adjacent video). It is time women started earning men’s respect and not automatically being put on a pedestal because that is what this sick gynocentric society says we should do. Women are not deities and they are error prone human beings like men. Just like men, some of them are bad people. Don’t automatically assume women are all pretty little angels because a number of them are not.

With respect to fatherhood, it is a fact that your son or daughter is as much your child as their mothers. Don’t let this sick man-bashing culture tell you otherwise. Being an incubator for nine months does not automatically mean women are the more important parent and disturbing statistics coming out of fatherless households proves it (see this video on fatherlessness and single motherhood that goes through the statistics). Without fathers, women would never become mothers and that is a scientific fact. Half of the baby’s genome comes from you. You should value fatherhood as much as motherhood. It is our gynocentric society that is at fault here and not men. Finally you should ignore and avoid mainstream media that wants to teach you to devalue your masculinity and self-worth. Choose what you expose yourself to carefully and recognise the shameful man-hating bigotry for what it is when you do see it. Such examples include the works of Hanna Rosin and Maureen Dowd. Historians no doubt will look at the turn of this century as a dark period of misandry in our society. Man hating bigots of today will be vilified in the decades to come as we do now with white supremacy and other hate mongers of the past.

"Above all respect yourself."

Men are no longer going to play by these antiquated social norms and double standards that you restrict us to. We are not asking for permission to be free, we taking our freedom. We will independently define our own personal masculinity by ourselves and without your arrogant assumptions, interference and dictating to us what our identity is. That is what the social phenomenon of Men Going Their Own Way is about (MGTOW) (see link about that here). Millions of young men globally, are now starting to put their needs, health and well-being first. These men are entering into relationships with women on their terms and not at women’s beck and call. The bigots will call us man boys, grass eaters and so forth for failing to live up to their antiquated notions of “real men”. The funny thing is the shaming tactics got old years ago. The social ostracisation and the bribes of high pay and social status are no longer working. The reality is we just don’t care anymore about what you think of us. Why should we listen to a society that we no longer respect? Why should we respect a society that does not respect masculinity? Who are these feminist bigots to tell us men who we are and what to do with our own lives? These are our decisions, not yours. Deal with it!

This new age is not “The End Of Men” as Hanna Rosin and other bigots celebrate. It is the end of male disposability and the social system that depends on it. Men are taking care of themselves and determining who they are for themselves.

If the bigots don’t like it, then too bad. The genie is out of the bottle.

Checkmate