Why Don't Young People Get Married These Days?

Look back in time a few decades ago to daytime television and you’ll see The Newly Wed Game where young couples answered questions to see how much they knew about their spouse. They’d look lovingly into each other’s eyes, holding hands and getting all giggly while reminiscing about their honeymoon.

Now fast forward to today and you’ll see low class people beating each other up on stage, cursing and yelling ghetto English at each other while trying to figure out who fathered their baby. I can’t even figure out what they are trying to say much less understand why they don’t know who fathered their child.

What has happened to America?


Divorce has ruined marriage


We’ve made it too easy for people to get out of marriage. Working at a relationship is no longer important. We live in a throw away society. If you aren’t happy you simply find a lawyer and they are a plentiful bunch, just look at any yellow page book and you’ll see page after page of attorneys just waiting to help you split the sheets.

Women no longer have to put up with infidelity, abuse or neglect, which is wonderful but we’ve also made it too easy not to try. You don’t have to reconcile or rekindle the flame you simply sign your name and separate.


Divorce has made boys out of men


I’m going to step on some toes here but often times the truth hurts.

Look around you at the young men today. Most look like oversized little boys that never grew up in their short pants, athletic shoes and ball caps. They want to spend their lives playing video games instead of growing up and becoming men. And you know why? Because most didn’t have a father figure in their lives to show them how to be men.

Mom and dad divorced, mom got the house and the kids and dad left. Oh some try to visit in the beginning but between the arguments, jealousy and guilt many soon give up. Why bother?


Children from broken homes


Many of the young people today in their 20’s and 30’s are from these broken homes and they are wondering why marry in the first place if you end in divorce?

Babies born out of wedlock are no longer called bastards. We’ve made it easy for unwed mothers to raise children without a father so they don’t have to worry about getting married. Forty seven percent of children born today are born out of wedlock. That is sad.

When asked many of these young women will tell you their child’s father is out of work, many still live with their parents and not ready for responsibility. And so the cycle begins.


What’s in it for young men?


In the old days decent people didn’t have sex out of wedlock. Well they did but it was kept under wraps and if she got pregnant they got married because her daddy made sure the young man made a respectable woman out of her.

The young men of today sees what happened to the older guys, some have even warned them of the evils of women and marriage.

Their fathers lost their house, kids and most of their assets so why would they want that? Many remember their dads leaving the house to live in a small apartment while mom got the nice house in the suburbs. Dad is still working to pay for a house he can’t even live in anymore.

Young men don’t want to work the rest of their life just to give some woman he doesn’t like a house and car.

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.” Rod Stewart


The court system has ruined marriage for the younger generation. They make divorce too easy and given too much to women.


Alimony is no longer necessary


Most women work or at least are able bodied and could work. There is no need for alimony in most cases. It’s an old fashioned throw back from when women stayed home and didn’t have a career. If less women got alimony they’d try harder to keep their marriage together.

More women file for divorce than men. Do you know why? Women usually gain much more than men in divorce court, they get the kids, the house and most of the money. Let things get a bit difficult and women start looking for a lawyer. Why would men want to marry women knowing these odds?


We need to encourage our kids to be responsible adults


We’ve made it too easy for our children and haven’t expected them to grow up and be adults.

I’ve seen families that allowed the daughter’s boyfriend to move in with her unmarried and then of course not long afterward along comes a baby.

I also know many grandparents raising grandchildren because their daughter never married and then finds a new boyfriend who doesn't want her kids. Or their daughter never grew up and became a responsible adult and of course she doesn't know who the father of her children are...


Marriage counseling


We need to make it harder for people to get divorced. There needs to be more of an emphasis on working things out and keeping families together.

I realize many people feel that marriage is outdated but when children are involved they need to be raised by their father and mother together and not be shuffled back and forth.

Sons need a father to teach them how to be men and if they aren’t in the home how are they going to teach them responsibility for their own children? It’s a vicious cycle that has driven the American family out of control. Our daytime television is proof of this. I don’t even turn mine on during the day.


Sperm banks


I’m going to step on a few more toes and say that this is a terrible idea. No, I’m not a religious zealot but a child needs a father not a sperm donor. Too many children are growing up without a dad and this is the result: young men who don’t have a clue how to be men.

I realize there are couples who can’t have children and I don’t have a problem with them using a donor but women raising children alone is a terrible idea. Too many are growing up in poverty due to the mother not being able to support them.


Change

We need some serious changes in this country but I don't know the answers. It's a shame that we've let our families turn out this way in the first place.

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Comments 65 comments

tmbridgeland profile image

tmbridgeland 4 years ago from Small Town, Illinois

Not a bad analysis at all. I feel sorry for kids these days. In some ways life really is tougher than back when I was in the marriage hunt.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

TM, it's a sad world we live in. I also feel sorry for kids today.


Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 4 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

It is better to not marry if one is not ready to take the responsibilities that comes along with marriage. It is natural for men and woman from broken homes to shy away from commitment for fear that their own relationship would turn out to be like that of their Parents. But I think they are better equipped for marriage as they know how a relationship should not be. Also men and women are not old fashioned as earlier to wait for marriage to be intimate. Many people think that when they can get everything without commitment why forgo their own freedom and take responsibility by marrying. Also with the cost of living going up, many people want to establish themselves before committing.

Good Hub, voted up!


Paul Kuehn profile image

Paul Kuehn 4 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand

This is an excellent hub about the status of marriage in American society. It's getting to be the same in Thai society, too, based on experiences living in Thailand. One thing I think a lot of young people realize today is that they lose a lot of their freedom by getting married. I have no problem with divorce if both the man and woman have irreconciable differences. Why should a man or woman be forced to spend their lives as martyrs in a marriage if it can't be saved?


Made profile image

Made 4 years ago from Finland

Very interesting hub. These things happen here in Europe too. I guess it's more common in the cities that unmarried (and married) parents split.

Recently I visited a "home/house", where they take care of children, who come from "broken families". If they can't find a foster home for the children, they take care of them in this house and the staff try to give these children a safe place to be. The children go to school and the staff teach them how to be responsible. Some children are there just some days and some had been living there for years. Some of the children didn't trust the men in the staff, because they had not been able to trust their own father (or fathers) either. I also visited a boarding school, where children with difficulties at home go. These children often had only one parent - their mother.

In Finland there are many "homes" and schools like these. At least I think we try to take care of "the lost children" in this country, but many of them get difficulties later in life and end up in jail. It's so sad.


lobobrandon profile image

lobobrandon 4 years ago

You've explained it from all angles well put together but its sad


scuffer12345 profile image

scuffer12345 4 years ago from CUYAHOGA FALLS, OH

I like how you broke it in different categories, i wrote a note on marriage statistics drastically changing and mentioned almost all of your categories, just shortier versions, WHAT about surveys? well since the Zimmerman - martin case surely you can not believe everything you read on the internet SO I CONDUCT my own. I interviewed over 10 = twentysomething women and men one day, a simple question do you believe in marriage? only 2 said yes the rest clearly stated, "WHY get married just to get a divorce. it was like ending the marriage is part gettng married, since all of them quoted, "over 1/2 end in divorce anyhow." i like that term jaded. yes, some had fire in their belly too.. They were angry. they said many get married for the wrong reasons. My notes for that day got wet - ruined forever, so I bought a small mini-notebook to take to the lake.


rajan jolly profile image

rajan jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

Pamela, you have provided me all the answers to what is the reason for the change in outlook towards marriage and making it work in the younger generation. I now know this thanks to you.

This is a wonderfully awesome hub and I'm happy you put things in their proper perspective.

Voted up, awesome, useful and interesting.

Shared too.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Pamela....It's good to have my realizations reconfirmed. I wrote a hub on Marriage, A Waning Institution....a few months back.

There are so many opinions out there and I don't know if we could ever figure out the various reasons this has come to be more the norm.'

Great Hub...UP +


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 4 years ago

Pamela, I am sitting here crying because of the truth in your hub article. It is so sad that our children have been handed such broken dreams. They deserve better. I also wonder, what can we do? I will continue to hope for a better tomorrow and to pray that we can turn this downhill journey around. Voted up across the board (except for funny -- this is serious!).


EuroCafeAuLait profile image

EuroCafeAuLait 4 years ago from Croatia, Europe

Pamela N Red, thanks for having the courage to say what you think. Your points are well made. Are really 47% of children born out of wedlock nowadays? I see this big boy trend and I am fighting that my son take responsibility and not think that women have to do it all. Voted up and beautiful.


Glenn Stok profile image

Glenn Stok 4 years ago from Long Island, NY

This was a very good analysis of the situation. It's really sad how this changed over the decades. Children are learning the wrong lessons by seeing how divorce causes trouble. I can see why the children of broken homes have a different attitude. I wonder what's in our future? Will marriage no longer exist? Will people just live together until some little thing beaks them up and they have no desire to work things out? There are going to be a lot of lonely people.


santabreganza profile image

santabreganza 4 years ago

Its really critical. And the greatest irony is no single member is listening to each other. It's a matter of trust and that's all. If you don't trust learn from a "real" someone.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Glenn, I already see that happening now. Some will live together temporarily until they get tired of each other and then they move on most of the time with the kids staying with mom unless her new guy doesn't want them around. It's a shame and I worry about our future.


Lisona 4 years ago

Nice article, not sure if its everyones view but its an after thought, and gets people discussing your topic. I would rather be in a loving relationship today than an old fashioned "be told woman" marriage say a few decades ago. I think you can still bring children up on the right moral path no matter what background they are from. Sounds like your on a moral high ground and wishing things were like the 1950s..lol Each and every person that does not marry or marry have their reasons for their choice.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Lisona, I've been married for years to the same man and he doesn't treat me like a second class citizen. I'm not talking about going back to the 50's, which by the way I'm too young to have experienced, but do think we need to return to simpler better family values with a father and mother raising children together.


Jennifer Madison profile image

Jennifer Madison 4 years ago from Lohmar

I really liked your article and you are absolutely right, these are absolutely my thoughts. But this is not only the trend in the US. I am from Europe and the same is happening there. marriage is "out" and people don't believe in the real love anymore. They even declare openly that they will have many boyfriends/girlfriends in their lives. But what happens when children come into the picture? I think we should definitely make it harder to get divorced but also people have to start thinking a bit more traditionally again. I mean, we don't have to go back to living like in the Middle Ages, but we have to realize that our children are the ones who suffer the most from divorces and if they grow up without a mother or without a father, there will be bitter consequences for them in most cases.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Jennifer the children are the ones that lose in this situation. We live in a "Me" oriented society and have forgotten the importance of thinking of others.


LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 4 years ago from Somewhere in the West

Very Interesting Hub.

Thanks for sharing i agree with you 1000000% couldn't have said it better the society we all live in has made it too easy for mankind to commit sin and go free. Yes and People have become so senseless and ignorant they rather go on a T.V. show to show or tell the world things they shouldn't know: fight for man/woman, strip and curse etc its a total mess and ask for Marriages people just do it for fun or to see who gets a better wedding or ring, for money and assets. It aint about LOVE anymore. People no longer have time to train their children, actually they themselves needs training, working mothers have contributed a lot to delinquent children, then again some don't have a choice because the daddy ran off. No example or parental guidance for the kids to follow. They follow rock stars, R&B Stars, porn stars etc. Those people who cannot teach them anything has and have become their role models. so sad......... am glad that this world is not my home am just a passing through.


Credence2 profile image

Credence2 4 years ago from Florida (Space Coast)

Pamela N Red, Great article, I sit here and realized that on the remote possibility that if my current marriage ended, I wouldn't do it again. It is simply more trouble than its worth. Guys are inherently dumb marrying for superficial qualities and ego satisfaction. It takes years of experience to realize in the final analysis that none of those things are relevant, and that the risks exceed the reward.

I once spoke with an 80 year old man who became a widower who said it is better to be unencumbered and uninvolved, it makes life so much simpler. Most of the time, simpler is better.

Don't mean to be a wet blanket, of course there is aplace for romance and all of that, just proceed with caution

Ozzie and Harriet, if it ever really existed, is gone. Things rapidly change and in such a world it takes a great deal of effort to deny oneself and adapt to the changes that are taking place in both yourself and your mate.

I am older and settled, seasoned to the discipline necessary to make things work when we run fresh out of roses and boxes of chocalates. It is a stretch to expect younger people in this superficial culture to live under any restraints. Why should they, sex if readily available and if you can get past the hard wired attitude of having progeny, you have it licked. It is less expensive, which is liberating in itself. Much like the concept of lifetime employment, in this changing world you can't just expect to work for the same firm over a lifetime career, same with matrimony. While, I always agree that it the ethical and correct way to go, in our current culture and the realities we all fac within it, it is outdated.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Credence, if I were to become single it would be due to being a widow. I can't say if I would marry again but it's highly likely since I've had a good experience with mine. There are still Ozzie and Harriet relationships out there people just don't seem to work at them like they used to. You don't have to, if this one doesn't work out just get a new one.

As far as having sexual partners, that is true until we get old and wrinkly and then our options aren't quite as available. When married you are used to each other and don't have to impress each other like you do a new love.


Robwrite profile image

Robwrite 4 years ago from Bay Ridge Brooklyn NY

Excellent Hub, Pamela; You make a lot of good points. I'm included in this, too, because I never got married, although it wasn't my idea. I lived with a woman for 11 years and she always like to keep the Exit Door easily accessible. No strings attached. She walked out several times during that period (and kept coming back) because it was so easy.

There's also no social stigma to getting divorced today. At one time, it was an embarrassing thing to admit you failed at the most important thing in your life. Today, it's not only acceptable, its also expected...this whole concept of the "starter wife/husband". I spoke to someone about 8 or 9 years ago who said he would never get married to anyone who hasn't been married before, because people who haven't "been through it" don't understand it and wouldn't make a good spouse. I had to scratch my head about that one. It made no sense. Firstly, why would a divorced person be judging a non-married one for "not being good" at something which this person already failed at. Secondly, how is an unmarried person ever going to find someone if they have to have a marriage on their resume to begin with?

Well thought out hub, Pamela;

Rob


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Rob, I wouldn't purposely look for a person that had been divorced. If anything, that tells me they might not be a good spouse, not necessarily but someone left them for a reason.

Most of the men in my husband's family have been married more than once so my mother in law, who didn't like me, would often make jokes about me being my husband's first wife. I'm still here after many years.


incomeguru profile image

incomeguru 4 years ago from Lagos

In most cases young people are busy running after the luxuries of the world and so will not think about getting married.

I know of some men that said they will never get married unless a working class lady comes their way. It shows that they can't marry an unemployed lady.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

INcomeguru, interesting. I hadn't heard of men not wanting an unemployed woman but have heard of women not wanting a guy who doesn't have income. I guess it goes both ways.


PlasmaBeam profile image

PlasmaBeam 4 years ago from Carlsbad, CA

Who can blame anyone for not wanting to get married these days? My gf is 21 and I'm 44. My stepdaughter is 22 and her guy is 41 and their relationship is great. She doesn't push him, he goes to school after getting divorced. I'm trying to let my gf earn her degree before we are married. I don't want to lose her so I did let her now that if and when she is ready to legally be able to own half my properties, she is welcome to it.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

PlasmaBeam, I'm all for not rushing into marriage but when children are involved it is necessary.


Levertis Steele profile image

Levertis Steele 4 years ago from Southern Clime

We live in a crazy world where men are dumping their wives, abandoning their children and ordering new wives by mail. When the wives arrive, the open the box, take theem out and enjoy all of the services they are trained to give: cooking, cleaning, massaging, sleeping, and other treats. These women are submissive and do everything possible to please the man. If she later slack on services, the husband cand send her back and get a new one. I am not sure about a refund.

Women are cheating as much as men and some are bearing children that are not their husbands. Of course, the husband is paying child support to two mistresses. If the wife falls in love with her lover, she could run away with him or divorce her husband.

Guys expect sex from their girlfriends, and most of them give it liberally with bonuses. Women give up too much! Men get all of the benefits of marriage without getting married. Many women cook, buy, and adore lazy men who do not want to work. They literally take care of them in their homes. Why should a man get married?

Lack of education and the high cost of living deter some men from marrying.They do not feel competent enough to take care of a family.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Pamela, may I link this hub with my hub on the Waning Institution of Marriage?


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Sure, fpherj48. Thanks.


mikeydcarroll67 4 years ago

I totally agree with these points. I admit, I struggle with the growing up and being a man (and fully admit that). I know I have things that I need to work on as well.One of the things that I felt and feel with a lot of the girls in my area is that there isn't an element of wanting to have a relationship work and do the classic "ditch and flee" when a better "mate" comes along.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Mikey, we live in a throw away society where we always want to leave the backdoor unlocked so we can "flee" as you say if times get tough. There are circumstances when a divorce is necessary but in most cases a marriage can be saved people are just not interested in putting the time and effort into the work needed.


mikeydcarroll67 4 years ago

That is exactly true! We are too conditioned to give something up when things are not going our way at the moment!


jenniferg78 profile image

jenniferg78 4 years ago from Philadelphia, PA

This post hit the nail on the head. I agree with every point you make. I am from the generation you are referring to- the kids who grew up without dads. It changes the fabric of society. It is not just the child's life who is influenced but it spills over into media and tv (the way women are portrayed on MTV, the casual "relationships" on tv and teen dramas) and becomes a part of our culture. Something has to change!!


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Jennifer, Americans are very influenced by what we see in the media. We need better role models shows.


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

I think the opposite. Why do young people get married these days? Both of my daughters were married at age 23 and 21. Most of their friends are married and continue to marry. I'm thinking "what is the rush?" They are adorable couples and claim to know what they are doing. I wish them all good luck and I'm a proud mama:))


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Sunshine, it sounds like your daughters were lucky and found good men. Some still do get married these days but it seems many more do not.


Daffy Duck profile image

Daffy Duck 4 years ago from Cornelius, Oregon

Another reason why young people don't get married is because of the sex issue. You touched on it briefly when you said sex was for married couples. Today most people have sex out of marriage. Why bother with marriage when you can get sex without the "big commitment". That's what a lot of young adults think.

More men and women are becoming "players" and "having fun" while they're young.

Interesting hub!


FutureDrKate 4 years ago

Tell it how it is! I appreciated your direct method.


sammimills profile image

sammimills 4 years ago from California, USA

Great and interesting hub! It is good that people should get married on the right ages starting from the age of 24. Because getting married has a lot of corresponding responsibilities for couples to face which requires maturity. Thank you for sharing! Voting this one Up!


jpz79 3 years ago

People get married for a number of reasons. While it is undoubted, that TRUE LOVE may be the reason why some people make a long-term commitment, among the lower social and economic class folk, especially, marriage is way to feed the EGO. Ego, is a big reason why a lot of people decide to have kids, too. A lot of people jump on the bandwagon and get married, to avoid being ruled the odd one out. And most marriages turn out to be illegitimate promises (as 75% divorce rate proves). It may be the norm to get married, but the decision less likely to be a rational one.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 3 years ago from Oklahoma Author

jpz79, I've never heard of ego being a reason to get married, that is a new one to me.

As far as your 75% statistic, that is wrong. The divorce rate is still steady at about 50% give or take depending on location.


Amy 3 years ago

Okay, this article does give some valid points, but it just seems to be saying that we aren't getting married because of the choices of the generation before us. Well, what happened there? Why has the divorce rate skyrocketed? What did our parents do differently that made us not grow up and take responsibility?

Personally, I think there is a lot more to it than this article relates. The culture we live in promotes the self and women's liberation (not bashing, just stating). Also, we expect the perfect mate to come along and find that the options available aren't "good enough" for us. That has a lot to do with the divorce rate as well. We live in the "me" generation and are so consumed with ourselves and what we should have that our mates just can't compete with the ideal we have set for them. Therefore, we are less likely to accept imperfection and compromise to make a marriage work.

What bothers me the most (especially the fact that I don't hear this talked about much) is that our governemnt rewards those who don't get married and punishes those that do. Case in point: An umarried mother living with the child's father can get a free college education, free medical for the child, and a boat load of money back on her income taxes. What does a married mother get? Pretty much nothing unless one of them is unemployed or they make hardly any money at all. Honestly, I think this is a huge factor that just isn't discussed as much as it should be. I know more that one couple, and quite a few single mothers, who have taken full advantage of the fact that they are single parents. A friend of mine didn't get married until she finished college because she would have had to pay for her education if she did. It's not just women with children either. My boyfriend and I would get about $800 less in income taxes if we were married since I qualify for the Earned income tax credit with my part time job, and he owes state taxes with his full time job. We do plan to get married in the future because of our personal beliefs, but there are many who don't hold marriage as highly.

Oh, one other point. The lack of a father figure has nothing to do with boys not maturing into men. My boyfriend and his brother took a LONG time to mature and their parents have been together for almost 30 years. His brother didn't marry his highschool sweetheart til right before their third child arrived and they both still love to sit around and play video games in their spare time. This has more to do with the fact that they were completely spoiled and not taught that they had to work for what they have. My boyfriend has no clue how to manage his money and would spend it all on frivilous things if I didn't manage it for him.

In summary we are spoiled and our parents will continue to let us act like children way past adulthood. Who needs a wife when you still have a mommy? Secondly, our culture and our government rewards those who remain single.

Sorry to rant, but I feel a lot of the true issues aren't being ignored.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 3 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Amy those are some good points. We have government programs so children won't have to live in poverty but it has encouraged women to stay single.

Parents have to teach their children to be self sufficient and grow up. Sometimes parents are too engrossed in their careers they don't pay enough attention to their children.


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 3 years ago

It is not only happening in North America and Europe, the same problem has slowly emerged in Asian countries too.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 3 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Really, Ingenira, I didn't know that. It's a shame.


MarmieCat 3 years ago

and who really gains from this societal breakdown? Once you eliminate the 'moms' and other custodial parents what do you have?

It's not hard to figure out once you think it through.


Darkproxy profile image

Darkproxy 2 years ago from Ohio

There really isn't much need for marriage I mean sex is easy to get, children out of wedlock are a trend and well all I see when I look at married men is a cat locked in a house staring out at a world of endless possibilities and adventure. The house cat live a nice long life of wondering what that world is like, sure it lives nice and long but is that really a life?


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 2 years ago from Oklahoma Author

We are not animals and many live perfectly happy lives in monogamy. Once you've fallen in love with another person you will see why people decide to remain faithful to only one person the rest of their life. When that happens everything outside that window no longer holds appeal.


Darkproxy profile image

Darkproxy 2 years ago from Ohio

I wasn't saying people are animals I was making an analogy.


Levertis Steele profile image

Levertis Steele 2 years ago from Southern Clime

Those house cats do not all sit and look out. Some go creeping in search of mice in other houses! They usually go back home full and licking their whiskers. They rest until the next urge to "kill arouses them." That is a big reason many people do not have confidence in marriage. Spouses who disrespect each other and their marriage do not help at all. Young adults who see this behavior are often discouraged and view marriage as a cage, or an outdated institution, or worthless.

It is true that many people in today's societies do not view unmarried co-habitation and parenting children out of wedlock as immoral. Because many individuals are products of unmarried, or divorced/separated parents, they do not get a daily experience of the beauty and decency of marriage and how it puts a band of completion around a family. They do not see it as the nucleus of community building. Marriage just does not become one of their top values. Too many children do not have fathers in the home, and in some cases, mothers to observe in their normal roles. Children imitate what they observe. With more divorces on the rise and more shacking (living together without the benefit of marriage) taking place, what will be the views of marriage for the upcoming generations?

Another reason that marriages are not taking place is that there are too many distractions. Modern technologically packed life is too busy and offers too many mesmerizing options that keep people stuck in a plethora of choices. Just to name a few—computers with millions of offerings (cyber sex, porn, online courtships, etc.), phone sex/relationships, growing prostitution, coming out homosexuality. More homosexuals are choosing not to marry women because they are finding more comfort and acceptance in societies that are accepting their preferences. The offerings seem to be limitless. The days of sitting in a boring neighborhood with very little money and transportation options are over. People do not feel the need to get married in order to escape from a boring life. Guys do not feel a need to get married because they already get everything marriage has to offer and more.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 2 years ago from Oklahoma Author

At first I thought you were commenting on my mousetrap article. Talking about house cats killing mice had me confused. None the less I appreciate you taking the time to read and give your opinion.


truth 2 years ago

you forgot to mention how women let themselves go and become bitchy entitled fat whales. no man wants to put up with that.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 2 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Thanks for your input, Truth. I hope that you can find a thin woman that doesn't complain.


Darkproxy profile image

Darkproxy 2 years ago from Ohio

I think truth is exaggerating PNR, I should know I make sarcasm. You'll see me in the dictionary under Sarcasm Master


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 2 years ago from Oklahoma Author

He isn't the first to make such claims but I do agree that when angry we often only see things in black and white.


Darkproxy profile image

Darkproxy 2 years ago from Ohio

Well I honestly can see myself making a joke about a fat chick sour disposition, after all you did make a reference to marriage boot. I just stuck to an analogy trying to be respectful.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 2 years ago from Oklahoma Author

You may be right. :)


young24 2 years ago

Marriage is a trap for young women. Suddenly you can't go clubbing or even take a job in another city without consulting your partner....If I wanted to be controlled, I'd still be living with my parents.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 2 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Young24, marriage is a parntership. Sounds like you are too young for the commitment.


suraj punjabi profile image

suraj punjabi 2 years ago from jakarta

Believe it or not I was actually going to write a hub on why we should get married, a hub that would be based on my personal experience. But after reading what's marriage like in America I am seriously confused. I do not blame your hub or against it or anything, if any I found your hub to be very honest and straightforward. The thing is I am not from America and I am not an American, but after reading your hub and knowing the problem over there, it is way better to not get married over there at all if this is our options. It is too risky, it is no wonder why american men especially prefer to stay single and be a bachelor until well into their 40s or 50s.

If you want to know my point of view as an outsider then all I can say it would be much better if people over there made it easier to get married than to get out of it, ESPECIALLY for the woman.

If what you say is true, then yes, many women will find excuses to leave their spouse to get the house and the kids. This is too harsh a punishment for the men. Problem is women can always play the victim card and will always most likely get away with it. Men can't. But since the men are not raised to be men like you stated then it automatically means they don't know the meaning of commitment and will end up leaving the women who will get everything. So the men is getting punished harshly for something he was not taught how to do. You might as well punish a fish for not being able to climb a tree. My god what a vicious circle.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 2 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Suraji, I also wrote an article on why we should get married. There are benefits for our health and finances.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 2 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Here is the link to my article I wrote on the benefits of marriage.

http://hubpages.com/relationships/Why-Should-You-G...


TheRealTruth 23 months ago

Well the women of today are nothing like the real good old fashioned women were.


Ngozi Ebubedike profile image

Ngozi Ebubedike 3 months ago from Lagos, Nigeria

The modern world is trying so hard to discard marriage as an over used garment. you don't have to be overly religious to know that the moral bankruptcy and religious decadency in the society is the root cause of the problem.

I shudder to think of the future of family value and unity, if single mother and single father are becoming the ruler rather than the exception. Children are growing up with good values and norms, they talk more with their phones and computers, for every question they asked Google rather than the parent. The single parent is busy chasing money to make ends meet. The child grows up to adulthood and will be in no hurry to commit with anybody.

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