When two people truly love one another they care about each other's happiness and satisfaction.In fact part of the fun is trying to "one-up" the other person in the pleasing department. Their mindset is "Us & We" not "You & Me".
The natural thing to do is blame the other person when we are not getting something we want. The first and actually only step you have is, asking for what you want. If it's not worth asking for it's not worth having. If after you have point blank asked and he has said no either in words multiple times or simply does not come through then you have some serious thinking to do. There are generally two reasons why someone won't give us what we ask for. 1. They don't have it to give. 2. They don't think we are worth the effort to give it to.
The question you have to ask yourself, "Is this a deal breaker?" If it is, get out and if it's not learn to live without. Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine. People change if and when THEY want to. All we can do is ask for what we want.
Keep in mind the same holds true for you as well. You don't have to say yes to being used. If you are always giving and never receiving then you are being used. It's not his fault that you are willing to allow that to happen. People who love themselves won't allow that kind of treatment to go on for long. Besides more resentment builds as you believe by always giving that one day he will "throw you a crumb" in return. You deserve equality in all aspects of the relationship!
"When we change our circumstances change." "If you want something different then you are going to have to do something different". Best of luck!
Awhile back I wrote a hub that ties into this topic. http://hubpages.com/relationships/badsexendsrelati...