Online Dating: Your Profile Pic is Creeping Me Out!

Hey You... Yes, You!

Hey there, fellas! Are you using an online dating service and getting nowhere? Are you wondering why the chicks just aren't responding to you? Maybe it is your profile pic. Are you asking yourself, "Well, how do I know if it's my profile pic? It looks good to me." Well, that is why I am here. I can help you so you go from creepy to cute in no time!

Is There Someone Buried in Your Crawlspace?

Profile photos are EXTREMELY important. Yes, I know, we all care about what's on the inside. Blah, blah, blah. I am not a shallow person, but I still like to have an idea who is talking to me. So please, use a photo in your profile. If you don't have a great camera, that's OK. Walmart sells disposable cameras for about $5; they'll even develop the film for you. So go out there and take some nice photos.

Of course, the photo itself is really important too. The ladies aren't going to respond to you if they think you look like a serial killer. Here are some examples of profile pics gone wrong:

The Mugshot

Why does your online pic look like a mugshot? If you don't know what I am talking about, you might be guilty of this offense. Please take a second look at your profile pic. Is it a close up? Do you have a vacant stare? Did you forget to shave for a while or are you wearing a wife beater? Dude, I hate to tell you this, but your pic looks like a mugshot. Please keep in mind, women don't want to date you if they don't think they will survive the date.

The Shirtless Guy

I know, you can brench press a million pounds or something. Good for you. Leave a little to the imagination and wear a shirt. You look conceited. For all I know, maybe you are, but at least try to hide that fact for a little while. Shesh.

OK, maybe you don't have 6 pack abs. Maybe you are just sitting around shirtless for no reason. All the more reason to put that shirt back on! If you have man boobs, please stop grossing women out.

The Lonely Webcam Pic

You are sitting at your computer, minding your own business, and decide it would be fun to take a webcam pic. That is nice. Everyone likes webcams. Don't use that as your profile pic. Nothing says "sad" more than some dude sitting in front of his computer in his parents' basement posting lonely photos online. 

Have some friends take some photos of you.  I am sure they would enjoy it.  Have fun with your online dating profile.  The experience isn't supposed to be glum!

The Infamous Myspace Mirror Pic

Yes, we've all seen it. Yes, most of us have been guilty of taking part in this. Back in the day when Myspace was the biggest thing going, we all had one. Everyone stood in front of their mirror, posed, and snapped that photo while trying to look cool. It was clever at the time. Some of those photos are still cute... sort of.

For now, we are living in 2011. It is time to get away from that photo and post something new as a profile pic. When you post a photo like that now, women think one of two things: 1) oh, this is an old photo - he must look really old now! or 2) why is he still taking lame photos like this? Ewww! So just stop! Or at least, stop showing them to the public!

The Timewarp Photo

I am sure you were really hot in 1982. Thanks for posting a photo from back then. The 80s were awesome, but please, let's keep it real now. You are not fooling anyone.

I know I am not the youngest chick on the block, but I am also not the oldest. If I say I want to date a guy between the ages of 25 - 40 I mean it! Don't try to fool anyone with your old photo. It's not cool, gramps, so get a life! When I want a sugar daddy, I will mention that in my profile.

The Still Obsessed with Ex Photo

They say that breaking up is hard to do, but it's time to do it, pal.  Don't use a picture of you with your ex-girlfriend as your profile pic.  Are you kidding me?  Nothing says "I don't know how to pick up the pieces and move on" more than that.  Let me be perfectly honest with you - I don't care if you are just friends or not, I don't want to see how great you look with some other woman.  It is just weird.  If I am browsing photos and all I see is a picture of you with some other woman, I am not even going to stop to read the caption.  So delete that photo now!

All Good Things Must Come to an End

I hope I have been able to help some of you out there. I know what you are thinking, "But there are so many terrible photos of women online too!" Of course, I know that must be true. My friend, that is not the page for me to write. By all means, I would love to read a man's version of this. Seriously, I need all the help I can get.

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Comments 45 comments

bobsimpson profile image

bobsimpson 5 years ago from Largo Florida

Nicely written. I like the use of the subtitles throughout the piece. You almost have me convinced to put my picture up on my profile. Maybe I will, once the FBI takes my photo out of the post office.


Painted Seahorse profile image

Painted Seahorse 5 years ago from Woodstock, GA

Funny hub, and probably useful to guys, too! Welcome to hubpages!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thank you for your comments!


CarissaHolly profile image

CarissaHolly 5 years ago from Argyle, Texas

lol You're finally writing all of this down. I'm excited!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks, Carissa. It is so funny you commented on this hub. It was my first and my favorite. : )


MsQuestion profile image

MsQuestion 5 years ago from New Jersey

I'm not even in the dating market, but this is SOOO funny....I love it! Also, everything you say is true, about how women respond to men in pictures, so maybe it will help some guys out there who aren't having any luck on these sites!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thank you for the comment. I hope some guys do read this and try to improve their pic. I can't believe some of the scary photos out there.


Gardens of Love 5 years ago

I met my husband through an online dating service. It is out 2nd marriage for both of us and we are extremely happy and have so much in common. However, it took many of online dating services and creepy guys to find my true love. I'm truly glad that I didn't give up. If you are seriously looking for a woman to love forever, please by all means be honest with your words and current photo's.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Yes, men do need to work on not creeping out potential dates. I swear, so many profile pics look like mugshots. I just don't get it. Thanks for reading and for the comment.


cheerfulnuts profile image

cheerfulnuts 5 years ago from Manila, Philippines

Hahaha... I'm not using an online dating service, but I keep on seeing these types of pictures on Facebook! LOL. Voted up and funny!:)


Blond Logic profile image

Blond Logic 5 years ago from Brazil

I too used a dating service and met my husband on one. You are so right, some of the photos are creepy. There was even one of a red- bearded man standing by a loch wearing a kilt. Imaginative, yes but creepy all the same. For some reason a lot of guys wear sunglasses as well in their photos. What's that about??? Are they trying to look like a celebrity or are they trying to avoid the FBI recognizing them?

Fun hub, thanks Jeannieinabottle.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

cheerfulnuts - This is true. I have definitely seen these photos on Facebook, too. It is creepy on there, too. Thanks for the votes and the comment!

Blond Logic - The photo you described sounds weird and creepy. I wonder if anyone responded to that guy. It is true about the sunglasses, too. Perhaps they are wanted by the police and are trying to keep a low profile. Hey, criminals have to find a date somewhere. Thanks for the comment!


jacqui2011 profile image

jacqui2011 5 years ago from Leicester, United Kingdom

Great article and well written and presented. I have seen some of these headless pics on facebook. I don't know who they are trying to fool - not me, that's for sure. I agree what you say, beauty is only skin deep, but it would be nice to see what you are dealing with. Voted up and funny.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks for the compliment and votes! I know what you mean. Beauty is only skin deep, but looking like a serial killer is important to know before continuing the conversation.


stephaniedas profile image

stephaniedas 5 years ago from Miami, US

This is so true! I used to have a profile on a dating site, and so many guys would send me messages who looked like they were on To Catch a Predator. Not cool. Voted up and funny.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Hahaha... I know exactly what you are talking about. Sometimes I see a photo and think, "Nah. I will die before the date is over." Thanks for the comment!


clark farley profile image

clark farley 5 years ago

call me naive, un-realistic or 'a stick-in-the-mud' but who accepts photos at face value...this is the virtual world* that should be a hint or something lol

*where anything is possible/where everything is possible


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I think you are right. Sure, maybe a guy really does look like a serial killer when I meet him, but at least put up a good photo on the profile page. Faking a smile for one photo has to be possible, right? Thanks for the comment!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada

I saw this bad boy flash by earlier in the morning and then I had to go to your profile to find it again...buried deep.

As I was rumbling around looking for it (no worries...I stayed out of your 'unmentionable' drawer...so I won't mention it) ANYWAYS...whilst peeking about I noted your Hubber score...it is at 100.

(I avert my eyes against the transcendental glowy-ness that comes in the presence of such fancy company).

As I look at my profile picture it has occurred to me...I look like a dog. With a big nose. You may have helped me...I'm not sure...I believe it is an angle thing...could this be why the ladies aren't blowing up my email?? Seems shallow...


elucidator profile image

elucidator 5 years ago from SoCal

Same can be said for the ladies. I have seen some that just me make me wonder, really wonder, then I read forty something and never been married, guessing never dated. Wow.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

ThoughtSandwiches - Yes, I imagine this hub was buried under all the others. This was my first hub! Ah, such sentimental memories. Yes, I am back at 100 again! Woo-hoo! This is the 2nd time in a week. It never lasts long though, but it is exciting at first.

Yes, your Hubpages profile pic might be preventing you from picking up the chicks. Although, if you are really a dog and typing all those hubs, that is pretty impressive. Thanks for dropping by!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

elucidator - I am very curious about the ladies profile pics, too. I am sure some of them must be having issues like the guys. Once, as a joke I posted the worst photos I could find on Yahoo Personals just to see what would happen. I got a better response that time than any other time! Apparently some guys really like a chick wearing pink flamingos in her hair.

Thanks for reading and thanks for the comment!


elucidator profile image

elucidator 5 years ago from SoCal

jeannieinabottle. hilarious!!! halloween is coming up, maybe time to dig out the punk rocker outfits and see what happens...lots of spikes, safety pins and leather. scary!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Yes, this is true. More dudes would probably approach me if I were dressed like that rather than the way I normally dress. Thanks for the advice! :-)


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

Hi, really funny! I have had emails from guys online, some on here who haven't written a thing, and when I looked at their photo I was surprised to not see a mug shot number underneath! lol!


Alecia Murphy profile image

Alecia Murphy 4 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

Jeannie,

This is funny. I can't believe people would think they could attract a quality mate by posing in wife beaters or shirtless. Shirtless should only happen after you meet the person and if you have moobs, well that's a whole another issue. I love it! Great job and happy hubiversary!


WD Curry 111 profile image

WD Curry 111 4 years ago from Space Coast

You are funny!!! I love your style. I have never even considered using a dating site. It is too weird for me. However, I have a friend who lives on his. He is always telling me stories, but he is not as eloquent as you are. Watch out for him, he is looking for a Sugar Mama.


nextgoodthing profile image

nextgoodthing 4 years ago from Miami,Fl

This is a great hub! I love your sense of humor....voted up!


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

Too funny!! Those shirtless guys are more in love with themselves than they will ever be with any woman. GEEZ! The first creepy guy may have some women in his basement! EEGADS!! Thanks for SHARING! Voted up, funny, and interesting!


Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 4 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

Agree with you. Shirtless Pictures irritates me. I am not into any Online Dating Site but even in sites like MySpace or FaceBook, we see creeps who show their body and sometimes even their private parts. What is funny is that even those who does not have a fantastic body to brag about post such pathetic pictures. These Guys seriously needs some lessons on Online etiquette and tips on how to choose a good online dating profile picture.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Nell Rose - I know what you mean. I don't think some guys understand smiling can go a long way. Looking angry in photo = looks like mugshot... a very simple concept.

Alecia - In general, I just don't want to see a guy posing shirtless on dating sites or social sites, no matter how good he looks. I can let it slide if he is at the beach or showing a new tattoo, but other than that, I think it is bit too much.

WD Curry 111 - Chances are, your friend has already hit on me. It seems like I keep getting the guys that are looking for a Sugar Mama. Sadly, I am too broke to ever be a good Sugar Mama for any dude!

nextgoodthing - I am glad you liked it. Thanks for the vote up!

sholland10 - Yes, the shirtless guys are definitely in love - with their own reflection. I can't believe how creepy some guys can look on those sites. Thanks for the votes!

Anamika S - You are right. Guys are really bad about shirtless pics on MySpace. There is also a fairly new site called MyYearbook.com which is like a low-budget MySpace and dating site. Man, there are so many shirtless guys it is ridiculous!

Thanks everyone for the comments!


WD Curry 111 profile image

WD Curry 111 4 years ago from Space Coast

Good you are safe from the disingenuous, just like me.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Hahaha... I suppose you have a point.


Efficient Admin profile image

Efficient Admin 4 years ago from Charlotte, NC

Hilarious! I can't stop chuckling over this article, and it's so true. Voted up, funny, useful.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks so much! This was my first hub, so it will always hold a special place in my heart. Thanks for the votes!


LaurenEC profile image

LaurenEC 4 years ago

This is so true! I've only recently started trying out online dating, and I can't tell you how many men post some version of the myspace photo or simply one that is dark, grainy and out-of-focus. Seriously, guys? If you're afraid to show me what you look like, then how am I going to recognize you on the date?

Great article -- I really appreciate the humor.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

You are so right. I can't tell you how many times I've shown up for a date and totally did not even recognize the guy because he put up terrible photos or used old photos from 10 years ago. Thanks for the comment and thanks for checking out my hub!


My Minds Eye53 profile image

My Minds Eye53 4 years ago from Tennessee

How about when they are with another guy? or a group of guys? Which one are you? or do I get my pick?

Funny hub and so true!

voted up


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Yes, I know exactly what you mean! It is never the good looking guy in the group either. I can't figure out why guys post those photos. If a guy is average looking, it is such a bad idea to post pictures with other male buddies that are usually better looking. I just don't get it.

Thanks for the vote up and for the comment!


ishwaryaa22 profile image

ishwaryaa22 4 years ago from Chennai, India

An extremely engaging and hilarious hub! I totally agree with you as I have seen such male strangers on Facebook - they sent me friend-requests. I never accepted friend-requests from random strangers and some of these strangers are creepy 'loners' - by the way of your lonely webcam picture note. I enjoyed reading this interesting hub of yours!

Thanks for SHARING. Useful, Funny & Interesting. Voted up


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I am happy you liked my hub so much. Thanks for sharing it and thanks for the votes. There are some really creepy dudes out there. I just don't understand how they don't realize it and change their photos.


debrajane 3 years ago

I enjoyed your hub. I agree with you wholeheartedly on the photos. I still get matches from a dating site I joined and looking at the profile pics in my email always brightens my day! My favorite was one where it looked like he was sitting on a bus and he had the saddest look on his face, like he'd just lost his puppy or something. I also like the ones where you can tell they were using their cell phone and they're not really looking at the camera.

The pics can be a problem, but so can the profiles themselves. I have a really hard time responding to someone who doesn't use spell check or know how to actually write a sentence. I think they should have someone else take their pic and look over their profile before they post it. They might get more results that way.

Thanks for the hub, really enjoyed it.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I know just what you mean. I don't understand all the sad photos and the terrible profiles. What is really creepy is when a guy has decent photos and a good profile, yet he is still super scary in person! I've had some rough dates lately. Thanks for checking out my hub!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 2 years ago from Orlando, FL

Excellent tips!! Some people are just clueless and will never "get it!" :)


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 2 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thank you! I believe this was the first hub I ever wrote. It is a subject I feel passionate about. :-)

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