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"Side chicks"

  1. 59
    ChinitaTusabeposted 2 years ago via iphone

    Some men's intentions of entering a relationship aren't the same as the girls.  Today it's all about having a loyal, faithful girlfriend; but at the same time having numerous "side chicks".  Side chicks are the girls who will have sex and encounter sexual intimacy with guys who already have girlfriends.  Side chicks know that there will be no strings attached.  Men love the fact that they have the power to have more than one girl at once.  8/10 guys that I know personally, have these so called "side chicks".  Ladies, be aware that this is the new trend.  Be aware of you're surroundings, and be conscious of the way you're man acts.  If he comes home late, has excuses as to why he can't hang with you, doesn't answer calls/texts, always has a change of clothes or if there are any other fishy signs showing he may be cheating on you.  Not every guy is like this though, there are still some good ones out there.  If you do happen to find out you're man has a side chick, you will be okay.  It's happened to me many times.  Stay strong, hold you're head up, pamper yourself and he will see what he is missing out on.  Don't just pamper you're self for him, do it for yourself.  You will feel much better.  Retail therapy also helps.  Never waste you're tears on a guy.  Always remember there are plenary of fish in the sea...

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      Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      You opened up an account just to warn us of this? So you're saying it is possible that men will cheat?

    2. dashingscorpio profile image84
      dashingscorpioposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      "Ladies, be aware that this is the new trend." - This is nothing new!
      In fact both men and women cheat. Even lesbians cheat on one another!Anyone who has ever watched an episode of the TV shows "Cheaters" or "Maury Povich" AKA: "You are NOT the father!" is keenly away that neither gender is standing on "holy ground" when it comes to cheating.

      Monogamy is not a DNA code. It's a (lifestyle choice). Just as cheating is a choice.The goal for anyone is to find a person that shares your same values, wants the same things for the relationship as you do, (naturally agrees) with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least there is a (mutual) depth of love and desire for one another. Even with that people have been known to "grow apart". Communication is your GPS system to let you know if you are still in agreement.

      There is no amount of (work) or (communication) that can overcome being with someone who does not want what you want.
      Know yourself, love yourself, and trust yourself. Forget about playing detective or looking for clues to "prove" something is going on. If you're unhappy that is all you need to make your decision to move on! Men treat women one way if they're "into" them and another way if they're not!
      If you're unhappy and no longer are a top priority for him it's time to move on.

      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse. We are responsible for our own happiness. Sometimes people make mistakes in their choice of a mate or they have unrealistic expectations or they believe they can "change" them.
      Note: To any woman in her 20s, not many men in your age group are looking to become their parents! Also the more handsome and successful a man is the more women will (throw) themselves at him. Long gone are the days when men felt the need to hide their wedding rings or pretend they weren't involved with someone else. These "side chicks" don't want a fulltime relationship! They're just looking to have a good time and spend his money.

      The goal of any cheater is to hold onto all that is good in his/her primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side. Cheaters have no desire to replace one relationship with another nor do they want to go through a messy breakup or divorce. They don't expect to be caught!

      1. Stevennix2001 profile image82
        Stevennix2001posted 2 years ago in reply to this

        +1

    3. Stevennix2001 profile image82
      Stevennix2001posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Wow, let me guess, your boyfriend/husband was cheating on you with various mistresses, so you opened up this forum on hubpages eh?  I hate to break this to you, but men cheating on their wives/girlfriend isn't something that's exactly new.  Men have cheated on their lovers for years.  Granted, not all men are like that, but some obviously have.

      However, I don't think it's fair to say that men are the only ones that cheat on their lovers, as women can do easily the same thing, while having various "side men" on the side if they choose to, so I wouldn't say that women are exactly innocent either.  Hell, my last girlfriend cheated on me with some guy that claimed to be my friend, so you can imagine how royally p***ed off I was about that.

      In fact, p***ed off doesn't even begin to describe how angry i was at the guy, as I literally wanted to do unspeakable and horrible things to him that I can't mention on hubpages for OBVIOUS reasons.  And you want to know something?   I didn't feel the least bit guilty thinking that way.  Still don't to this day.  It's funny because I'm normally a pacifist, and I would never wish for anything violent to happen even to my worst enemy...but with him...I'd be willing to make a huge exception in his case...

      Dashingscorpio has a point that there is no "holy ground" between the genders, in regards to cheating.  And sometimes people tend to grow apart no matter how much effort you put into the relationship.  Sadly, I had to figure that out the hard way recently myself, but I wouldn't let one bad experience dictate your opinion on relationships in general.  It was just one bad experience.  It's like Alfred said in "Batman Begins", "Why do we fall Master Bruce?...so we can learn to pick ourselves back up."  If you stop and think about it, that's a very good lesson to take to heart about any kind of adversity you may face in your life. 

      Edit:  Also another lesson to take to heart that I just remembered was from a film last year called "Philomena."  I don't know if you heard of it or not, but it's a great film.  One of the best that I've ever seen.  By the way, SPOILER ALERT if you haven't seen it, but it's about an Irish elderly woman looking for her long lost son.  You see back when she was a teenager, she got knocked up by some random guy at a carnival, but her parents were so ashamed of her that they put her up in the Catholic Church to live with the nuns.  The nuns forced her to do hard labor for them, while only allowing her to see her son for one hour a day while staying there.

      They even gave away her child without permission, and when she tried to look for her son again by finding out information at the church, they openly lied to her by saying that they had lost all their records.  Hell, they even lied to the son too when he tried to find out where his biological mother was.  The point being is that she ended up forgiving the nuns for doing that to her.  Why did she forgive them?  Because she claimed that even though forgiving them is one of the hardest things she's ever had to do, the reality is that it takes far too much energy to hate someone like that. 

      And in a sense, she's right.  It does take a lot out of you to hate someone for anything for a long duration of time.  Trust me, I know that better than almost anyone here, as I can't tell you how much it exhausted me mentally, physically and emotionally hating that man that tried to steal my girlfriend away from me, and in a sense, he kind of did.  It exhausted me to the point that even writing film reviews on this site no longer brought me joy anymore, but instead just reminded me of the internal pain i felt.  I wanted him to suffer for that.  I wanted him to not only suffer for ruining what was once a wonderful relationship, but I wanted to destroy him for taking away my happiness to where nothing brought me joy anymore.  That's why I hated him with such a passion, but to be honest, he's not worth my time or my energy. 

      He's nothing to me, and I don't need to inflict physical harm on him to prove I'm the bigger man because I know I am.  How do I know I'm the bigger man than he is?  Because he did something wrong, yet he still thinks he did nothing wrong to this day.  Whereas me, I have every right not to like him, and hate his guts with a passion, but I don't because he's not worth it.  In fact, I forgiven him for what he's done because I'm the bigger man in this situation, and wasting my life hating him isn't worth it.  He took my happiness away once, and he shalt not do that again to me. 

      That's why I've elected to forget about him. I don't know how much you hate these mistresses for having an affair with your ex lover, but trust me when I say it takes far more energy to hate on someone than it does to simply forgive them that it's simply not even worth it.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you need to become friends with these girls, or forget about what they did to you.  However, I'd just forgive them, and just forget about them.  They're not worth your time.  Take it from a guy that's learned that lesson last year, as that's exactly what I wish someone would've told me.  Sadly, nobody did, and I had to figure that out the hard way, so please don't make that same mistake that I did to allow your hatred for your ex and his lovers consume you to the point that you can't feel joy anymore.  It's not worth it.

  2. 59
    ChinitaTusabeposted 2 years ago

    This is just a first post.  I did not say that all men will cheat, but it is a new trend in teenagers that they do have these side chicks.  Girls should be aware of the signs.

    1. 0
      Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      What brought you to this forum?

    2. 0
      Rad Manposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Teenagers?

  3. 59
    ChinitaTusabeposted 2 years ago

    Personal experience, friend experiences.  It happens that is all...

    1. 0
      Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Sure, I understand. But what I'm wondering is how you found Hubpages, chose to sign up and then posted on this specific forum.

      1. 0
        Rad Manposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        Do you ever stick to the topic?

        1. 0
          Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

          I'll stick to the topic (like you and your posse) when you stop criticizing senor Rad Man.

          1. 0
            Rad Manposted 2 years ago in reply to this

            I asked a simple question.

            1. 0
              Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

              Show me your badge.

            2. psycheskinner profile image82
              psycheskinnerposted 2 years ago in reply to this

              What is wrong with trying to help a new poster who seems a bit confused.  It would not be the first time someone thought they would get paid for posting to the forum.

              1. 0
                Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

                I am a motive person. I want to know the how and why when I can't connect the dots. So someone thought they wanted to talk about guys having gf's on the side... so they go online and look for???? what? A chat room? Had they heard of HP's? And if so, how did they find the forum? What led them here and what was the draw of this forum over another? It never makes sense to me.

              2. 0
                Rad Manposted 2 years ago in reply to this

                Nothing wrong with that at all, but instead of addressing her comment or warning she posted personal questions which derail the forum.

                "You opened up an account just to warn us of this? So you're saying it is possible that men will cheat?"

                "What brought you to this forum?"

                "Sure, I understand. But what I'm wondering is how you found Hubpages, chose to sign up and then posted on this specific forum."

                1. 0
                  Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

                  So you can ask a question, but I can't? I was curious how she found us... not quite as much drama as is being infused.

                  1. 0
                    Rad Manposted 2 years ago in reply to this

                    How she found us is irrelevant to her question and concerns. It's none of your business, she just told you that.

    2. psycheskinner profile image82
      psycheskinnerposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      You realize this is the Hubpages forum?  You might be better served writing these as hubs.

  4. 59
    ChinitaTusabeposted 2 years ago

    Thanks for the advice.  I am clearly new to this ...

  5. 59
    ChinitaTusabeposted 2 years ago

    ^ Thank YOU for being understanding, while others are concerned why I'm writing about this topic.  I am CLEARLY not a writer, I am a nurse.. So for everyone posting here that I am off topic, or questioning why I'm writing.  It's because I am trying to do something productive on my free time.

    1. 0
      Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      You're not off topic, you started the topic. He was griping at me.

      1. 0
        Rad Manposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        Because you pulled the conversation away from teenagers cheating to why she is here.

        The question remains, was there a commitment in place or was it assumed?

        1. 0
          Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

          Then answer it.

  6. 59
    ChinitaTusabeposted 2 years ago via iphone

    Okay if it bothers you so much then you can stop writing to me.  You are what? 40-50? I am 25, no drama on here please and thank you

    1. 0
      Beth37posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      lol. Did you only want ppl in their 20s writing you? So that would wipe out everyone who's spoken to you so far.

  7. 59
    ChinitaTusabeposted 2 years ago via iphone

    Okay so everyone leave it alone it's not that serious.  I found this site through a friend, signed up, CLEARLY made some mistakes & now I'm feeling attacked.  So if you could all stop biting my head off and maybe HELP that would be nice

    1. 0
      Rad Manposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      No one is attacking you.

      Was there a commitment in place or was it an assumed commitment? Teenage boys are a mess with hormones and immature minds. It's best to stay clear of that type and communicate effectively that you want a commitment.

  8. 59
    ChinitaTusabeposted 2 years ago via iphone

    I don't understand what you mean about how I found you....

  9. psycheskinner profile image82
    psycheskinnerposted 2 years ago

    We are trying to help buy working out if you came here because you want to write hubs to share your ideas and earn money.  If so we can tell you how to do that. This is not the section of the site to post your 'blogs'.

  10. 59
    ChinitaTusabeposted 2 years ago

    Well thank you.  I am sorry for being confused.  I am new to this so what exactly is the difference between a forum or a hub.

    1. psycheskinner profile image82
      psycheskinnerposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      The forum is just where we chat with each other.  To post a hub you go to the top right of screen and click "start a hub".  You post material on the hub.  The advertising is put on that page and you can earn money for it (if you have an adsense account).

  11. 59
    ChinitaTusabeposted 2 years ago

    Sorry everyone.  And what is an Adsense account

 
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