How to Identify a Fake Rolex

How to Identify a Fake Rolex

Welcome to the Institute for the Painfully Obvious. Today we delve into topics heretofore undelved by modern researchers. Our PhDs, private investigators, and Geraldo Rivera aspirants present foolproof methodologies for discerning the subtle nuances between timepieces.

This vital public service is offered at no additional charge. You may fork over $49 for an artificial Rolex, but the advice provided throughout this treatise includes no added fees, taxes, surcharges, or penalties. Wrist-mounted chronological devices may not be a human right, but imagine your embarrassment when your next fancy-dress party descends into chaos due to inadequate timepiece identification. Imagine your chagrin should your butler demonstrate better fashion sense than your guests.

What is a Rolex?

Rolex represents the epitome of wrist mounted jewelry. Movie stars, billionaires, and secret agents all favor the Rolex brand. A Rolex device provides much more than simple chronological data; it enhances the social status of the wearer. You don't have even to know how to tell time in order to wear one. They cost a ton of money. They have a long and distinguished history. Some models boast a back cover that cannot be opened without a factory-provided tool.

Some Rolex Watches Could be Fake

It's difficult to comprehend, but Rolex knock-offs proliferate. The classic $49 dollar Rolex appears on innumerable web sites. Common folks crave the pseudo-status offered by off brand reproductions of otherwise unattainable wrist wear. Hundreds of web sites offer watches purported to be of the Rolex milieu. A simple Google search provides bucketloads of offshore vendors poised to provide faux Rolex clocks to wear on your body.

Simple Techniques for Identifying Synthetic Rolex Devices


1. It's on sale next to a box of corn flakes.

Your local supermarket probably doesn't stock the Rolex Datejust, Oyster, or Submariner. As you browse the 42 varieties of cereal at your local Wal Mart, be alert for Rolex semaphores offered at eye level. Resist the temptation to drop one into your cart. Consider the explanation required to justify your purchase:

Your parole officer: "Hey, that's a nice Rolex. Where'd you get it?"

You: "It was on sale next to the Honey Oat Cheerios."

Is it a Real Rolex? Only the Photoshopper knows for sure.
Is it a Real Rolex? Only the Photoshopper knows for sure.

2. It's worn by someone standing in line to buy a corn dog.

We all love the county fair, but we hardly expect to encounter internationally recognized timekeeping devices. As you wait patiently for your walking taco and gallon of Mountain Dew, glance casually at the bony wrists of your fellow line dwellers. Any devices labeled 'Rolex' almost certainly represent the state of the art in unauthorized duplication. Don't hold it against them; Tilt-a-Whirl tickets cost money too.

3. It's spelled Rylex, Rulex, Roleks, or Timex.

Researchers at the IPO (Institute for the Painfully Obvious) have concluded that established companies rarely misspell their brand name on their product. Based on anecdotal evidence and empirical quantitative reasoning, spelling counts.

4. It costs $49.

Duh. Most consumers want to think they're getting a bargain. Rolex marketers don't care about those consumers. Rolex marketers cater to uber-rich folks with more money than brain cells. If you feel inclined to inquire as to the cost of your next Rolex, you've already identified yourself as unable to afford it. Only in downtown Tehran does a $4000 item go on sale for $49.

5. It comes free with a used car.

Some consumers are willing to accept that Big Bob's Car Mart maintains a cache of Real Rolex Yachtmasters in the break room and adds one to the glove box of each pre-owned creampuff. James Bond drives an Aston Martin, not a used Cavalier.

Conclusion

Spend your money wisely. Adorn your wrists with Rolex products.

Let's see if you learned anything

Can you find the Real Authentic Rolex in this photo?
Can you find the Real Authentic Rolex in this photo?
Here's a hint
Here's a hint
Still not sure?
Still not sure?
Does this help?
Does this help?
Last chance!
Last chance!

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Comments 8 comments

breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 6 years ago

What fun. I think one of my friends has one. I'll check it out.


Jenna May Swan profile image

Jenna May Swan 6 years ago

Thank goodness for the Institute for the Painfully Obvious - where would I be without them! ;)

Any ideas why anyone would pay $5000 for a really flashy-trashy watch?


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Jenna May Swan: No one that I hang with!


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

nicomp - I hereby dub you Lord of Laughter, Chieftain of Chuckles and Friend of Frivolity.

For a real bargain on a genuine (?) Rolleks, on your next trip to Bangkok, got to the Night Market, ask for Feng and tell him BJ sent you. The going price is $35.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@drbj: $35?? You ruined my thesis. :(


htodd profile image

htodd 5 years ago from United States

Great ,This watch is great


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

everyone should follow this.


Mike 5 years ago

Well, I don't know about the corn flakes. I happen to like them. And yes everyone goes to Wal-mart. My lawyer who cost $600 an hour, and a couple of judges who I personally know. I also have a Rolex GMT-Master II, and I wear it when I go to Wal-mart. I also pick out my corn flakes with it. Afterall it requires an arm to pick the box up, and I won't be taking off my $7K watch for that. Also I am sure there are people out there who live modestly, and can afford a Rolex. I think the writers of the IPO can't afford one, so they simply like to talk about fakes to make them feal better. I actually owned a fake before I bought the real. And no, it wasn't because I wanted to see if I like it. It was because I wanted to know how such a watch would work for me in my environment. I wasn't about to pay a little over $7K, if it would make my friends hate me or get stolen. It was a good fake to. I have it still, and I just keep it in a box. In my opinion though, I would have to say that the fake runs just as good as the real. That's all a watch is for, right? You know the thing where people check the time. So, fakes aren't that useless. I wouldn't have someone wear one, if they couldn't afford the real. At that point the people would just be fake. You have to justify the reason for wearing a fake. If it's just for status then save your money, and go out to dinner.

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