A Special Blessing

Today is a special day. Today we, my wife and I, along with our daughter and son-in-law attended the graduation ceremony of Morgan, their daughter, from kindergarten. Ah, routine you say. And perhaps so. We have 2 other grandkids that have been there-done that as well as our kids and millions others like them, and we have one more that will go next year. But what made this different is the story behind Morgan.

Our daughter and son-in-law had been trying unsuccessfully to conceive for some time. As a lot of couples who experience similar problems they decided to adopt. They wanted a new born, so they went to an agency who exclusively handled new born adoptions. And six years ago this past October they received a call asking if they would take a preemie. They said yes, not knowing what lay ahead. The following is a copy of their story as published in Preemie Magazine, Spring 2006, written by Pam Hamer, her mother.

The first sign that Morgan was truly a miracle is the fact that she has two families. She has had two families that have loved and cared for her from the beginning. Morgan is adopted. We were matched with Morgan's birth parents when she was 2 days old. much of these next details come from many talks with her birth parents.

Delivery Experience

Morgan's birth mom was 6 months pregnant when she started bleeding. She did not have any pre-natal care and therefore she did not have a doctor to call for help or advice. After about an hour into the bleeding she was taken to the hospital by Morgan's birth father. The birth mom was immediately taken by care flight tot he nearest critical car hospital. She was put under general anesthesia for placental abruption. Morgan was born at 1 pound, 13.5 ounces and was 12.5 inches long. The doctors estimated her gestational age was 24 weeks and 2 days. We met her birth family and saw Morgan for the first time when she was 2 days old and we haven't missed a day since.

Medical Condition at Birth

At the time of delivery Morgan had minimal movement. Her APGAR scores were 2 at 1 minute, 5 at 5 minutes and 8 at 10 minutes. Her breathing was scarce. It took the nursing staff four attempts to intubate Morgan because she stopped breathing during each attempt. She was then on and off the ventilator for the next month. She was able to go to the nasal cannula in mid-to-late November. She also had jaundice and a hole in her heart, which was corrected with medication. She developed retinopathy, which later corrected itself, and developed a polarized cataract about 1 month before coming home. Morgan also had two Intraventricular hemorrhages grades 2 and 3. Fortunately both hemorrhages resolved and she did not need a shunt. Morgan was in the hospital for 87 days and was released 3 weeks before her actual due date.

Current Condition

Morgan has come so far. We had no idea how the brain hemorrhages were going to affect Morgan; what development would be like for her. Thanks to Early Intervention services, she is developmentally on target for her age. (That was 4 years ago and she is doing great.) She does battle with RAD (reactive airway disease),, a result from BPD (bronchial pulmonary dysplasia). Her polarized cataract has not caused additional problems, but it is monitored every 6 months for changes. Her immune system isn't as strong as most kids, and her nervous system is sensitive to sudden loud noises or movements (In fact, Morgan had a hard time handling the camera flash during the photo shoot for this story). (She is no longer bothered by that in fact she is a real ham.) One concern that is not visible is a processing delay. Once Morgan is asked a question or command it takes 20 to 30 seconds to respond. She has a hard time keeping up with the other kids in her class. We are in the process of evaluating whether or not this is a result of the brain hemorrhages.

The Turning Point For My Child

When Morgan moved to the graduate nursery it was a huge turning point for all of us. It was the point where my husband and I could go home in the evening and now wonder if she was going to live through to the next day. So many nights before this, when we would go home in the evening, we would dread the moment the phone would ring because it could be the hospital calling. This did happen a few times and it is one of the scariest moments we ever experienced. It was also at this point we were able to hold her when we wanted and for as long as she could tolerate the stimulation. We were able to feed her and interact with her more like parents. I knew at this point she wasn't struggling to live. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel and that light was home.

Most Memorable Moment

There really as so many memorable moments like the first time she opened her eyes, hearing her first cry, and the first time we were able to hold her in our arms. But being Morgan was adopted and I wa not able to carry her for 9 months and get used to the idea of being a mom, my most memorable moment would be when I was able to have this awesome privilege of being her mother. It was so amazing. Even at 1 pound, 13.5 ounces she was a living and breathing beautiful little girl. I don't think I even noticed all of the tubes and wires that day. All I could see was her and how beautiful she was.

Tips For Other Parents in the NICU

Surviving the NICU is a journey in itself. My first tip to parents; be there at the hospital for your child. You might be feeling helpless and not in control of your baby's health and well-being and wondering what part you play in your child's recovery, but it is vitally important to be there every day if possible.

Learn all you can about the NICU. Talk with the nurses, ask questions, get to know who is caring for your baby and let the staff get to know you. In our NICU, it was unusual the sam nurses who were assigned to the same babies for each shift. Let staff know you want to be involved in every decision that is made and involved with your baby's care; anything from turning the baby in the incubator, changing bedding, and taking temperatures to changing diapers. As basic as this seems and since contact with your child is limited, this is how your baby will learn who you are.

See if your NICU allows families to request a primary nurse. We found this to be a life and stress saver. We were able to pick a primary nurse so that when this nurse was working she would always be assigned to Morgan. This helped in coninuity of care. This nurse was able to get to know MOrgan and what worked for her and what didn't. We were able to relax more because we knewMorgan would be well taken care of. We felt comfortable in knowing the decisions she would make would be the best, expecially during times when we couldn't be there. This nurse was also allowed to follow Morgan when she moved to the graduate nursery and see us home. We still miss her to this day.

Resources For Preemie Parents

Make sure to access the Early Intervention services in your area as soon as possible. In Ohio, this is the Help Me Grow program, which can be accessed online at www.ohiohelpmegrow.org or by calling 1-800-755-GROW. Our local Help Me Grow program coordinates with the local Mental Retardation and Development Disabilities (MRDD) organization where Morgan received great Early Intervention services. Without these services Morgan's development would not be where it is today. A lot of preemie development concerns can be found early and corrected by having a specialist monitoring your child's development. For example, the specialists can suggest exercises for muscle tightness, ways to position your preemie to help bring their hands to mid-line, and how to carry and hold your infant to help keep them from arching their backs. These programs can be located via the Internet or by calling your local MRDD organization.

VIP Because

Morgan is a Very Important Preemie because she gives hope and joy to anyone who comes in contact with her. I know she is a miraclel. We call her M and M - for Miracle Morgan. Morgan wouldn't be where she is today without all the prayers that have gone up for her. We heard from so many people, people who didn't even know, who were praying for her recovery.

Morgan's doctors and Early Intervention specialists are so amazed at how far she has come. They each said given the grades of her brain hemorrhages Morgan should not be doing the things she is doing. She amazes us every day when she sings her favorite songs Old McDonald or Twhinkle Twinkle Little Star or when she recites her ABC's. When she looks up at you with her cute little dimples and pretty eyes it just melts your heart. We give thanks every day for Morgan and for the people that have helped her come so far. (End of article)

That article gives some insight into the help she received in her early weeks and months but Morgan is still a blessing and is blessed herself to have parents that were and are willing to go the extra mile to see that she gets her needs met. Every child has special needs and special interests. At the graduation ceremony they had all the kids tell what they wanted to be when they grow up. Morgan has high ambitions. She said she wants to be an astronaut. (Personally I think she would make a good vet or biologist. She loves animals and bugs.)

(Update: as of Oct., 2009 Ohio Department of Mental Retardation and Developmental Disabilities has been renamed to Department of Developmental Disabilities.)