Facebook Friending Rules

Facebook is trying to control how many friends we have and doesn't want you to meet new people.

One thing I like better about Google+ and also about MySpace back when it was still a great place to hang out, is that they don’t try to tell you who to be friends with or how many even. There is supposedly a limit on Google+ but many have exceeded that without penalty. They even have a way of gathering large numbers of friends at one time. Now that’s friendly.

This will be Facebook’s downfall. They are getting too big for their britches and want to be the only ones allowed to advertise and make money. Being greedy will kill a site quickly and I won’t cry any cyber tears when it happens.

When you open a free site for people to use you have to have advertisers to pay the bills; revenue is how it’s done but you can’t get too stingy with your proceeds or you run off subscribers. Help your followers and they help you.

Making friends:

I’ve made many great friends online over the years and some I consider closer than people I know locally. If not for social networking sites I wouldn’t have met them. The wonderful thing about the World Wide Web is getting to know individuals all over the globe we wouldn’t normally have an opportunity to meet. We learn about other cultures and what is going on in other parts of the world.

If they don’t want us to add friends then why do they have that “Add Friend” box under people’s names out to the side tempting us to meet new people? That’s like putting a brand new candy on a table full of children and saying you can have this candy but only if you have eaten it before. Well it’s a new candy so how can I have eaten it before? If I already knew these people they would be in my existing friend list. See how stupid this is?

Facebook’s privacy policy:

They initially tried to make the “friends only” policy on the pretense of keeping our privacy safe but that flew out the window with this new “timeline” which they admit will help them sell even more of our information to advertisers. Truthfully, they’ve been selling our information all along this just gives retailers and services even more information: what the inside of our house looks like, our children’s ages, what kind of car we drive, what kind of food we eat, etc. etc.

If it’s on the web, it’s public; I get that but give the rest of us the opportunity to publish what we do. In this failing economy there are people out of work who could use this tool to find employment. It’s not going to hurt Zuckerberg to let a few poor folks make a dime here and there.

Google+ encourages networking

Google+ helps those of us trying to advertise. It’s in Google’s best interest to help us since many of us use their Adsense program. They don’t set limits to how many followers you have and realize we are adults (or at least we are supposed to be) and if we don’t want to be someone’s friend we simply ignore their request and move on, it’s as simple as that. Much more friendly than being grounded like we are junior high students.

Facebook sends you a rude note telling you that you’ve sent a friend request to someone you don’t know (God forbid) and if it happens again they will take your “friend request” privileges away for seven days. I read that one person lost their “friending” rights for fourteen days. Since when is it offensive to reach out a hand in friendship?

I am not a child and will not be reprimanded. If Facebook doesn’t change their ways I’ll leave. I will not be treated this way. They aren’t the only game in town and they are going to lose many subscribers if they don’t change.


Granted, some of my motives are to advertise my work but I also just enjoy meeting new people.

Sometimes I see a comment or post I agree with or enjoy reading and think, “They look like an interesting person; I’d like to talk to them more.” According to Facebook, this is a no-no. You only get so many friends in this life and no more are allowed.

If you aren’t already related to them or met them in person you can’t introduce yourself to them on Facebook. However, Facebook can sell all of your personal information, at least any they’ve tricked you into giving them, to any affiliate they do business with. You don’t believe me? Follow the link below to their “advertising policy.”

If you start getting telemarketing calls on your cell phone you’ll know how they got your number. That extra junk mail in your box just might be compliments of Facebook.

I don’t need Facebook to talk to people I already know.

The people I know here locally I talk to on the phone or in person; I don’t need a computer monitor to do that. Friends and family in other states have conversations with me via email or phone, not on a social networking site.

The Internet is handy for meeting people worldwide I wouldn’t normally meet.

Social networking sites are supposed to be about “networking.”

According to Merriam-Webster networking means:

The exchange of information or services among individuals, groups, or institutions; specifically : the cultivation of productive relationships for employment or business.

It’s lonely at the top.

Once a person gets so big and rich they become paranoid, they think that everyone is a potential threat who might take their place and they start trying to control everyone else. It’s only a matter of time before the rug is jerked out from under him and he’ll go back to being who he was before: a lonely geek without any friends.

In closing

If you get one of these alerts and you’ve sent out a few requests don’t click on the box that says, “Do you want to withdraw all the requests you’ve sent?” (I can't remember the exact wording) It’s a scare tactic. I got a couple dozen new friends after being “grounded” so don’t worry about it. I figured if I’m going to be in trouble anyway why not go all the way? Gee, I feel like a kid again who has been caught in the parent’s liquor cabinet.

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Comments 27 comments

Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

The best point you've made is that you/myself don't need a social network for friends and family we know....I might add it's even more awkward being connected to far away family that,truthfully,I have no emotional attachment to and feel awkward about pretending a close and awesome connection.

Starting a friendship online from scratch and developing this connection with someone distant seems organic to me in a delightfully casual way...Google+ does seem to fit this category.;-))

Thanks for sharing Pamela.;-))

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Menatalist, Facebook wants us to think we can only connect with people we already know via their website and that is ridiculous. If we wanted to keep in contact with those people we would have without a social networking site's help. Thanks for reading.

Cat Zen Space 5 years ago

Putting sign up for Google+ on my to do list. As you are one of the fine people I met online (and might not otherwise have connected with) this blog really speaks to me!

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Cat Zen, I have enjoyed reading your creative blogs and intuitive comments over the years. Being able to make new friends on the web has been a source of enjoyment for me and I think it's sad that facebook doesn't agree.

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Thanks, Profit Spot, I try to write articles that are not only informative but hopefully entertaining.

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Beijing Driver, I use social networking sites to make new friends, when they deny me that option I consider moving on.

beijing driver profile image

beijing driver 5 years ago from Beijing, China

Would you like to write some articles about China travel for me ?

I am looking forward to read it.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Send me an email and we can talk about my fee. pamela@pamelanred.com

Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

Facebook limits friends, yet groups can have thousands of fans? Maybe they are trying to cut down on spamming?!:)

Great hub!

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

I don't know what their reasons are but it is annoying. A few friends on facebook that are also here on HubPages were complaining about being reprimanded. Seems silly really.

Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

They keep changing things....I don't like the new timeline page, I'm going to hold out as long as possible...with the new page!!

Cheeky Girl profile image

Cheeky Girl 5 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

Thanks for publishing this link on Google +, I read this with interest. Facebook do have a curious policy regarding how many people we can "friend" on Facebook, that is limited to 10 per day, I think. With Twitter the limit is 100 per day, and you can follow 10 people for every 12 who follow you. I have hit lots of limits on both these networks. Networking is a pain at times, Pamela.

Spamming is a serious issue, and limiting is one way of dealing with it, but you are right. It will drive some to other networks. I still find MySpace a great site, as Facebook now seems to resemble it more and more every day! LOL!

And the "Timeline" feature is a headache from a business point of view.

Not to be outdone, Google constantly asks me for personal information such as phone numbers and other email addresses. They all find our "information" to be an increasingly valuable commodity.

Great Hub, Pamela!

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Sunshine, I've read many complaints concerning the timeline. I am waiting to see if it will be worth it to switch although I have heard they will make us all by the end of the year.

Cheeky girl, I didn't know about the daily limit. I guess I will have to take count from now on. My Twitter followers has picked up and I need to make sure I don't upset them.

Google asks for my cell phone number every few days but I won't give it to them. The only sites I give that information is for Adsense, HupPages, Amazon or Bidvertisor and that's only because they pay me.

50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 5 years ago from Arizona

Pamela, a quite good article, I actually have created more new friends in depth on hub pages. I notice that face book, gmail, circles and hubpages are all privy to what and where I go and do.

It's like the big force is following me. At this point I'm dropping circles and face book and quite possibly mail servers.

Great food for thought thanks, 50

kashmir56 profile image

kashmir56 5 years ago from Massachusetts

Hi Pamela N Red, great hub about facebook and all the points you make about it are right on the money,and i agree with everything you wrote 100%. Facebook's timeline is a way to put a coat of fresh paint on a now old site, and try to keep people there and not go off to Google+.

Vote up !!!

randomcreative profile image

randomcreative 5 years ago from Milwaukee, Wisconsin

The title of your article made me laugh, but it is actually is a sad phenomenon. I have stuck with Facebook because it keeps me in touch with a lot of people I wouldn't hear from regularly, but it still drives me up the wall. You've convinced me that Google+ is worth checking out. It's on my "to do" list.

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Dusty, the Internet does know more of our business than I'd like but it won't change so we just have to make sure we don't have too much personal information online.

Kashmir, I kind of like the timeline look but many of my friends that have tried it aren't happy so I'll wait and see how it pans out.

Randomcreative, I stick with facebook for the same reason, many friends there who aren't on Google+. I like them both for different reasons but if facebook keeps messing up they'll follow MySpace to obscurity.

50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 5 years ago from Arizona

Pamela, it takes your name and birth date, as licensed private investigator with a tracking service or a regular person and 25 to 59 dollars get the record of your life of: where you have lived, rented or bought, your employment and social security number, cell phone and it's number and much more. They have reigned in the cell phone number use in court. Nonetheless, life is getting pretty dangerous, especially the social security number that for my age was originally printed in bold red on light sea green "NOT to be used for Identification" You just about cannot get into a pay toilet sans your SSN these days. As a bounty hunter I was licensed to locate people, the addresses of their whole families Age, address, SSN as well as phone records[call by call] credit information as well as bank card information to track where they were last time they charged something via credit or bank card as well as a food stamp benefit card and more. I used a company called "Locate-plus [www.locateplus.com] . I no longer am working in that or any field.

I just got hammered with a warning from face book over reaching the limit of changing my birth date in order to doge the whole happy birth day thing as none have been correct. I use satellite internet that is registered to Tennessee, it originated there and is paid for by my little brother there. It is a "motor home unit" and often travels. Why? Just flat out none of their business short of an actual criminal investigation, the IP stays the same and my little brother is in the know if badged identification shows up to rat me out. The sole reason is privacy. It gets worse, as I found out from a friend on Dish TV he opened the unit and found a microphone in side it, took it to an electronics repair man who was ID of what things were, playing 20 questions that led him to point to heat sinks and different things and ID-ed the item as a microphone. He told me he was shocked and clipped the wires. By law as a license holder I had to be ready to testify with good reason "why" what I did was important to the one[s] I was hunting for skipping out on $50,000.00 bond. These corporations do it all the time and answer to know one or need more than a want to. That there is a law and I posted it on face hook, against Lying or providing false information to internet sites. It's ridiculous and do to lack of prosecution may not stand due to the lack of ability to enforce it. I find that right TSA has of naked pictures to strip searches of passengers and the internet enough to make people scream NO more, we just hear the crickets playing there songs and folks don't care. I doubt enough signatures could be collected to get it heard in the court system. Any way,

Thanks for the great grey matter stirring as tomorrow will be another year,

Peace and good fortune,


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Dusty, anyone who really wants our information can get it without too much trouble.

50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 5 years ago from Arizona

Pamela, Point and match, thanks again, dusty

sabrani44 profile image

sabrani44 5 years ago

Great hub. Its sad that they put a limit on the number of friends you can make.

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

I agree, sabrani44.

rednickle profile image

rednickle 5 years ago from New Brunswick Canada

To honest with you, i think limiting your number of friends has its pros too. Extremely friendly people tend to add all those who send them friend request without actually confirming the identities of these people and this can help facilitate bad activities in terms of identity theft and stalking.

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 5 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Rednickle, I use Facebook for a marketing tool so the more people I can reach the better. If you don't put personal information out there they can't steal it. I don't list my phone number, date of birth, address, place of birth or personal email. I do list my business email which I have on all my websites. Clients need to be able to get in touch with me if they are looking for a writer or editor.

Steve Erdmann 4 years ago

It is worse than all this: they delete your postings from your Timeline in outright censorship - a lot of the posting are very mundane: pictures of JESUS, comments with friends, political debate, and it is without rhyme or reason - very mysterious. It reminds me of the HAL 9000 computer in the book and movie 2001. Freightening. Steve Erdmann. dissenterdisinter@yahoo.com.

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Steve, I haven't had them delete any of my posts but they don't like it if you add too many people or try to be friends with someone you don't know. I stopped adding anyone and haven't had any issues.

DDE profile image

DDE 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

You can't choose your family but you can choose your friends

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