MFB III interviews Randy Behavior
An alter ego gives insight into herself through some unusual questions
First let me preface this interview by saying that one only needs to read your work to know the many colored sides of you. Like a Rubik’s cube you expose both the darker and the brighter sides of your alter egos in your writings. Many of your poems and musings are like puzzles to me that fit together to make a whole. I would like to thank you very much for agreeing to answer a few questions and for opening up your enticing hub to many readers who have not stopped by here to bask in some Randy Behavior. I for one love the mystery of your mind, and the open approach you take to writing, it is so refreshing in a worldof of plastic smiles scripted into similes.
1. If love was truly a balloon, which part would you consider yourself to be, and please elaborate on why that would be your assignment?
A. The thin skin easily damaged but able to carry you to great heights?
B. The nipple, all tied in knots from a fresh set of lips that filled it with bliss?
C. The he-lium/she-lium rise of passion which gives your voice that lilting soprano sigh?
D. The string which hangs on refusing to let go of love no matter where it takes you?
E. The shriveled, broken remnants of what was far too often a colorful and glorious flight?
F. All of the above?
G. Some aspect of a balloon of love that I have failed to touch upon?
So you are looking for honesty from an alter ego? Alrighty then. Let me just grab a beer and I'll be right with you.
Well, (B.- for sure, and not just because you used the word nipple. I also was swept up by the words knot, lips and bliss. New love is always the most exhilarating. But more than what you call the "nipple" I would say the other end of the balloon personifies love for me. The little nub ready to grow. I am always looking to expand in the love department. Love more, love bigger, stretch myself as a lover. I always wonder when I'm blowing up a balloon how much is too much. No matter how far I think I pushed it, there always seems to be a concentration of latex at the nub and therefore room for growth. Pure love doesn't have a popping point.
Boy that was a strange question. I enjoyed it thoroughly.
2. You have mentioned in the past and in your writings that there is another version of you on HubPages, an older, perhaps wiser, more serious side, Is this still some Hubber personality that we can get to and read, and become immersed in the other half of your alter ego?
Yes, yes there is. She's been on HubPages longer if that is what you mean by older. We are both 44 though. Both our avatars are really me and current photos. I just chose to lop my head off for Randy's.
Wiser? Actually if being self aware and not giving a damn what people think is where wise people get, Randy is closer. I became Randy because I am a people pleaser, and I can't stand it when people find fault with me. I always wear the appropriate hat: the good girl hat, the good mother hat, the good wife (until recently) hat.
It is hard to write honestly when you are worried that your stepmother may stumble upon it or your ex-husband or in-laws will read it. Randy doesn't know anybody, therefore she can say what she likes. Well, at least that's where she started; now people know her. I feel a responsibility that comes with that friendship, a responsibility to deliver what they expect. I may need to come up with a new persona to be "real" again.
Oh, I suppose you meant you wanted me to tell you my real name. I'm not a good under cover agent; there are clues all over the place if you really care. Plenty of people have figured it out, IP addresses and all that. We both like your hubs by the way, MFB.
3. Tell us who your favorite non-HubPages poet and favorite writer are and what person in all of history inspires you most. Also enlighten us on who your favorite poet and writer are here on HubPages. Feel free on the second part of this question if need be to do it in a riddle form if you want to keep it secretive.
I'm a fickle thing. I'm true to no poet, but in history, Jesus sure got my attention. Anybody I'm reading that makes me stop and read the sentence again and again, just because it is so tasty, is my favorite for the moment. Words can be so yum, don't you think?
As far as Hubbers go, its dangerous to pick one or two because there are so many wonderful writers, many, many. And there are some ok hub-writers who are outstanding human beings. I can tell you this though. Christopher Reilly and Tom Rubenoff, my writing gurus are both a delight to read. They have both helped me hone my craft, Chris with my short stories and Tom with my poetry. Cris A and AIDY were hands down, my favorite poets from my first days here. Frieda Babbly and Cris A inspired me to write my first suggestive poem which came to define Randy. Since then a ton of brilliant writers and just good people have sprung up. I will not list them, they know who they are because I let them know in their comment boxes.
4. One of your works that I was most impressed with, was your poetry in the flesh, where you photographed and expressed yourself in the barest possible way. You also photographed a friend at her request in the buff, to see how readers would respond to her as a form of art. Sadly I think you removed your photos which I found to be poetry personified on the highest order, there was a vulnerability and a beauty there that words could not express, Was there a reason why you chose to remove it.
My intuition told me to take it down. Since the photos showed my face as well as my body, it linked Randy to the real me. Besides, I'd already run the gauntlet and survived it. There was no reason to just stand on stage. The Pictorial helped me reclaim my own body. When one is a wife and mother, one's body is at risk of becoming family property, i.g. lounge chair, elevator, amusement ride. After my separation I needed a defining moment. Plus I was putting myself out there in what I hoped was an artful way, but inviting criticism. I hate criticism. But all I got was hublove. It was empowering and it served its purpose.
5. If you had the chance to speak to Obama for one hour, regardless of your political beliefs, what would you say to him as a poet and a writer, how would you advise him to spend his term. What kind of hope and change are you looking for from such a powerful position.
I'd ask him what his childhood was like, what his spiritual beliefs are, and his favorite home cooked meal. I'd ask him about being a parent, his dreams and I might even ask him what he did for a living. Yep, cause unless he had an entourage I might not recognize him. I can hear you sucking air MFB, but that's how interested in politics I am. Difference now is, I don't pretend I am, and I don't beat myself up about it. You can be interested enough for both of us.
Well you wanted honest.
6. One of your greatest most personal writes was called "The Little Box." I was deeply moved by my reading of this, and would like to know if you have been able to shed the confines of that cardboard hell in your current life. How much of that early conflict has affected who and what you are today, and what would you recommend to a young girl reading this poem, who also has such a little box tucked away deep in her soul or closet.
Probably the biggest impact is an over-respect for authority and rules. I continuously make an effort to break them now, and am so proud when I do. I often feel like I'm in trouble, but I think most of the judgement is in my own head. Right now I'm trying to figure out how many of you reading this will be disapproving of me, and I'm trying really hard not to care.
To a young girl? I'd tell her to forgive her abuser as quickly as she can. When you can do that, you take your power back. The fastest you can get, is to forgive what they haven't even done to you yet. When you can love the one who hurts you, you win. Remember that balloon can expand much bigger than you give it credit for.
7. You live near the ocean, how do your spend your time there, and does it affect your work, does the sea inspire you or does it make you feel small and lonely.
Where I live the ocean is cold, so generally we don't play in it; we look at it. Its a great example of abundance. You could take buckets from it; it would not miss it. To me the ocean is soothing, melodic, beautiful and so friggin' powerful. When I grow up, I'd like to be like the ocean.
8. Share with us a little bit about your desires, your dreams and your goals as a writer, a women and a friend to many Hubbers here. Give us a piece of yourself not found on your HubPages.Take us beyond the Randy Behavior we all know and love, and offer a glimpse of the real you.
I'd like to have a book of poetry published. I like to learn to read at open mike without having a shaky voice. Other than that I need to get some new dreams. In the last year I've found freedom, a new love (via HubPages), and a new home with a huge yard for my kids. Winning the lottery would be nice.
A piece of me? I was raised on a cattle ranch and in an art gallery. I can castrate a lamb and can build an open-to-buy spread sheet from scratch. I know my Catholic prayers down cold and have burnt offerings to the goddess under the full moon. I'd rather dance alone on the dance floor but would never eat out alone. I'm afraid of mealworms but not 7.0 earthquakes. I'm tough as galvenized nails but cry at OnStar commercials.
9. If you could change one thing about HubPages that you don't care for, what would it be and why?
Could I flush the forums and flagging?
Again I thank you for agreeing to be interviewed, and facing some of the difficult questions I have thrown at you. But I have faith in you and having been a follower for over 7 months, I feel as if I know some of these answers already, My main intent is to show others who have not read your work or gotten to know you, just what they have been missing, amidst the many Hubbers who grace these pages. I hope you enjoyed this tiny scraping from the pigment of your soul, as much as others will enjoy viewing its multi-colored splendor. I know I will see you again soon in the comment boxes and the latest additions of your work real soon.
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