How to Tell if You Are a Crazy Cat Lady
Good cats on the lookout for a good cat lady...
Crazy Cat Lady??
With pop culture references like Crazy Cat Lady on The Simpsons and Angela from The Office, cat caregivers have had a bad reputation for far too long. Modern cat ladies like Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande are helping make the feline purr-suasion cool again. There's even a National Cat Lady Day, and it is celebrated on April 19th. If you're reading this, chances are you are probably a cat lady (or guy) or know someone who is, but read on for other ways to know for sure you are a cat lady.
Quantity of cats
Simply owning a cat doesn't make one a cat lady; however, owning multiple cats increases your odds. If you've ever bought a cat for your cat, you're heading into cat lady territory, and if you own more than two cats, your address is probably in a suburb of Cat-Ladyville. If you have a pride of little lions and tigers, you probably reside comfortably in the Cat-Lady Condos where instead of mints on the pillows, you get an occasional mouse or hairball.
Wardrobe featuring cats
Cat clothing is on-trend with Taylor Swift rocking a cat sweater dress and Ariana Grande's cat ears, but if you have an entire cat wardrobe with socks, shirts, leggings, jewelry, and even cat themed shoes, and you wear them unironically, the DFL (Department of Felines Lovers) is probably laminating your membership card.
Wardrobe for your cats
While dogs get the (honor?/burden?) of wearing sweaters so that they can do their business outside, cats don't have this necessity. Some cat owners/servants/slaves, however, seem to think that their feline overlords need clothing anyway, whether it be a snazzy tie, a cute dress, or a humorous Halloween costume. Earn bonus cat lady points for having the feline wardrobe on hangers.
While a home should fit the needs of its occupants (including those with fur), some cat ladies go to an extreme with tunnels and shelves, cubes and huts, and trees and towers. If your cat has more furniture than you do, you are sailing on the S.S. Cat Lady. If you have made modifications to your home like mounted shelves and holes in walls, your ship has sailed.
From Edgar Allan Poe's short story "The Black Cat" to Hemingway's companion cats with extra toes, cats have played a big part in literature. If your library is crammed with Rita Mae Brown and Sneaky Pie Brown, Garfield, and Calvin and Hobbs, or you know who Dewey, Homer, and Bob are, you may be a cat lady. Your odds climb by having a coffee table littered with Catster (former Cat Fancy), Modern Cat, and any of the Jackson Galaxy books.
Cat ladies no longer have to wait for cat shows. There are now whole cat conventions such as CatCon where celebrity cats roam and presenters lecture about cat care. Picture Comic-Con, but instead of superheroes, people are dressed in ears and tails or cat t-shirts. What better place to stock up on cat merch like magnets and posters?
So you're a cat lady? Now what?
If you scratched off several items from this list like I have, welcome to the Crazy Cat Lady Club! The welcome wagon is on their way with your complimentary starter kit of snagged sweaters with cat treats in the pockets. Besides loving and serving your feline companion, what should you do with this awesome responsibility?
Go to a cat show! Dogs aren't the only ones with shows. Cat shows are excellent places to meet other cat lovers, buy cat merchandise, and get educated on cat-related topics.
If you still have room, save a life (or two) by adopting, fostering, or volunteering. Shelters are always looking for assistance socializing and taking care of their animals and often are running out of space.
Above all, embrace yourself in all your cat ladiness! Cats are fun, smart, loving balls of fur and should be celebrated as the Egyptians did. Use that Cat Mom mug! Share those cat videos on YouTube! Wear your cat sweaters with pride, and don't forget to accessorize with cat jewelry! In other words, you do you and don't let any dog people bark you down.
How many cats are too many?
Are you a cat lady?
Show your cat-ladiness in the comments!
© 2018 Liz Woodward