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Pet Adoption: I Am Living In An Animal Shelter

Updated on August 31, 2012
Lucy, Queen of Her Jungle!
Lucy, Queen of Her Jungle! | Source
Jazz, standing in her favorite poop spot.
Jazz, standing in her favorite poop spot. | Source
Cee Cee the Beauty Queen.
Cee Cee the Beauty Queen. | Source
Atticus aka Tigger
Atticus aka Tigger | Source
The havoc wreaked by Atticus.
The havoc wreaked by Atticus. | Source
Land mines awaiting the unsuspecting.
Land mines awaiting the unsuspecting. | Source

We have animals! Three dogs and one cat and there is no doubt who runs the show around this house. It certainly isn’t Bev and I nor is it Bev’s daughter. We like to occasionally make an attempt at taking control of the house but really, fantasy is a lovely place to live. In truth the animals just let us have our illusions occasionally and then they once again snatch it back from us, laughing in their animal way.

I’m the newcomer in this household and as such I needed to learn my place and learn it quickly. Most people don’t realize that pets have a low tolerance level and they will only put up with so much from a stranger before they feel it is their duty to set things straight.

Before I get too far in this article and put the proverbial cart before the horse, allow me to introduce the players in this soap opera that is my life.

LUCY

Miss Lucy is our black cat. She is as old as Moses and has the temperament of a starved Doberman. Lucy senses that I’m not fond of felines so she makes every attempt to rub against my leg and crawl into my lap. It’s her way of establishing dominance and also saying, “I don’t much care if you don’t like me, Big Boy, just shut up and live with it.”

We don’t hear much from Lucy unless she is out of water or food and then she is fond of meowing loudly which of course means get your ass in gear and feed me.

She is like a permanent piece of furniture. One day she is on the couch, never moving, a silent Ninja waiting to pounce on the unsuspecting. The next day she can be found on the chair and the next the piano. There seems to be only one guiding principle that she lives with: if it’s an area that you are planning on using then you can count on her being there. She considers it her duty to annoy me and she does it quite well.

By the way....Lucy's favorite spot to go poop.....the bathtub! Enough said!

JAZZ (OR JASMINE IF YOU PREFER)

Jazz is as sweet a dog as you are ever going to meet and she, too, is old. I’m not sure how old but if there was Medicare for dogs she would have her card. She is a yellow lab who looks like a blonde bear and she lumbers along when the spirit moves her, which isn’t often.

Jasmine is one of the best dog farters I have ever known and her timing is impeccable. It makes no difference what time we plan on eating lunch or dinner; once we start then she is under the table letting off fart bombs. I don’t know how she times it perfectly but she is a master of her art. If it didn’t stink so badly I would applaud her efforts.

This waddling package of putrid odors rarely goes outside and most certainly not if it’s raining. She does not appear to be fond of getting her feet wet. Her favorite trick (other than farting of course) is to step off of the deck and then do a #2 on the edge of the deck. Bev is not as amused by this trick as I am since she usually has clean-up duty. Personally I think it is hilarious!

CEE CEE

Miniature dachshund by breed, Beauty Queen by nature, Cee Cee is unique in the animal kingdom. If you are familiar with Winnie-the-Pooh, and who isn’t, Cee Cee is Pooh…she is a dog of little brain. I don’t know how to say this without sounding offensive, but Cee Cee is mentally challenged. She exists in a land of giants and blissfully goes about life without a care in the world. At any moment she could be stepped on and permanently injured but she is oblivious to the impending danger of everyday life.

The humans in the home really need to be careful because you never really know where Cee Cee is at any given time. Most likely she is right next to your feet doing her little dog thing and you are totally unaware that she is there. I have tripped over her several times and narrowly missed squashing her on many occasions.

Bev and I have talked about giving her up for adoption to a family of dwarfs so she doesn’t risk becoming a pancake but she is so damn adorable we can’t conceive of actually doing it.

As you can see from the picture Cee Cee recently dislocated her elbow?? Shoulder?? Some damn joint. We have no idea how she did it but we suspect she was bowled over by Atticus who I will talk about shortly. Anyway, now she hobbles around on three legs and that, too, is adorable. I fear we will have Cee Cee with us for quite some time.

ATTICUS

The newest of the clan, Atticus was picked up at the Animal Shelter one fine day in December. Bev was out for a drive, decided to swing by the shelter and called me to tell me she had fallen in love.

Atticus was the object of her affection, a ten-month old mutt of questionable lineage, who bounces about knocking over everything in his path. A canine wrecking ball if there ever was one. If Cee Cee is Pooh then Atticus is Tigger. He is an exhausting whirling dervish who chews up everything and anything. We have given up trying to buy him toys. Hell, the whole house is his toy, so why waste money?

Our newest child also digs holes. The picture to the right does not do his handiwork justice. Atticus is capable of digging holes that look like a meteor landed in the back yard. We are talking crater-sized holes and each and every hole is strategically placed so that I will step in it at night.

Just when I think I can’t get any madder at him and I’m going to make hot dogs out of his ground-up body he puts his head in my lap and looks at me with those big, brown eyes. Okay, I’m a sucker for that look! So sue me!

THAT’S OUR FAMILY FOR NOW

Why for now? Because I don’t trust Bev when it comes to animals, that’s why! If she had her way she would save and adopt every single homeless dog and cat in the city and then where would I sleep? I have to watch her constantly to make sure she isn’t putting food out on the porch trying to entice some wayward animal to join our growing family. Are there tax deductions for animals? Is there any possible way for me to make money off of Bev’s heartwarming nature? These are the questions that keep me up at night.

Of course, in a little over three years we are going to buy a farm and move to the country. Can you even imagine how many animals we will have once we actually have acreage? Without a doubt we will still have these four. Lucy is too mean to die. Cee Cee is too dumb to die. Jazz is to smelly to die. Atticus is too hyper to die. We are stuck with these four and once we move they will have forty other strays to play with because you know damn well that Bev will be in Mother Teresa Mode. Then we’ll have dogs and cats multiplying faster than the fish and loaves. Staying on the Biblical theme we will probably be able to fill our own Ark once we move there.

Sigh! I’m a patient man but I do have my limits. The night that Bev serves me Kibbles n Bits for dinner I’m going to show my ugly side and then WATCH OUT! I’ll put my foot down then….probably right in a pile of dog poop!

2012 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

For more questionable humor see the following:

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/My-Rain-Classification-System-For-The-Pacific-Northwest

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/Eight-Things-I-Hate-About-Olympia-Washington-My-Hometown

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/The-Top-Five-Recipes-For-Bachelors

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    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 4 years ago from North Carolina

      This is adorable. If I were you, I would watch to make sure Bev isn't putting your dinner out on the porch. LOL. I love animals the same way and always brought home strays. I can't have any in my apartment. My daughter has the same love for the stray cats we feed outside. Last week she announced she was going to play in her room. I heard odd sounds and thought I should check it out. Low and behold, she had taken a stray cat to her room because she said it needed a nap. You guys are wonderful friends to animals. :)

    • Victoria Lynn profile image

      Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      This is awesome, Bill. Hilarious! I love your sense of humor in your writing. This was so enjoyable to read! Many votes and sharing! One of my cats just died night before last, so my heart is a bit heavy. I loved reading about your pets. Thanks for making me laugh today.

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      lol...so, yer just one of the displaced pets that Bev brought home, huh? :) lol Yeah, that's how I got my hubby, too. Very sweet, hub, Bill. And I love the pictures of the family...well, except the poop shots, since I was eating breakfast, but hey, what can ya do? :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Awww, Vicki, I am so sorry about your cat. It is a huge loss when we lose one of our pets. I had a dog growing up for eighteen years and when I had to put her down it damn near broke my heart. Thank you my friend!

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      bill....How lucky you and Bev are to have such an adorable and loving family of fur-babies. Your life appears quite similar to ours.

      Someone once said, "Never trust a man who doesn't love his dog.".....and that is wise advice....personally, I would include cats in that statement.

      We live with 2 of each....and appreciate that they allow us to share their home!!

      This hub is precious and made me smile.....BIG! UP++

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Tammy, just another reason why we are friends....a love of animals. Talk about unconditional love...the love of a pet is right up there. Thank you as always and blessings to your family.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      TT, the poop shots were for you in particular. Just warming up for the big pay back. Thanks Sis! I'll talk atcha soon.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, in all honesty, I wake up each day and pinch myself to see if it is all real. I've never been this happy and I keep expecting it to go away, like I don't deserve it and it's all a joke. Cross my fingers.....thanks dear.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Morning Bill... what a great read this morning. Being the new kid on the block in the household means you need some training on the pecking order is all. From the way you have written this I think you are learning... lol.

      I think what I find amazing all the time is it is never hard to find a pet lover in any home. They are the loves who reach out in love and provide for these creatures. We are piad back in untold love...

      Hugs from Canada

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Ha! I'd ask you to say that all again for ME.....but it just doesn't seem necessary......btw, Part II is done

    • rsusan profile image

      Rika Susan 4 years ago from South Africa

      What a fun and uplifting read, Bill! Thanks for introducing us to your furry family in such a humorous way. I miss my dog, but where we now live, we can't have pets. Luckily I have visitors who bring their dogs for a visit and some much-needed pet-therapy. And I am friends with all the birds in our garden. Some feed from my hand. Life without animals...unthinkable.

      Rika

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

      I commend you for opening your home to such wonderful companions. I rescue abused animals, although only one still lives with me. The other is my puppy Bella. Three others passed in pretty quick succession although the happiness they gave me was endless. I so enjoyed reading about your little buddies and the humor as great! Keep writing more about your animal activities and I'll keep reading and enjoying every word.

      Sending my regards to Atticus, Lucy, Cee Cee, Jasmine, yourself and especially Bev!!

      voting up

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rolly, for sure I have learned my spot on the pecking order. LOL...yes my friend, we are paid back in untold love. Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, I will be over to check it out soon.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rika, how precious to have the birds eating out of your hand! Thank you my friend; I actually love these furry trouble makers. LOL

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Shining, thank you and I will pass your regards on to the furry ones...and Bev. LOL Thank you so much and I'll be by to see you again shortly.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      First a Smile, than a laugh...Oh how I can relate to your Wonderful Hub, Billybuc. Your Humor is getting Better and Better...WATCH IT! Only kidding! My Vote UP for such a Fun, Fun, read!

    • picklesandrufus profile image

      picklesandrufus 4 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

      I will call you the one with the big bark and little bite, Billybuc!! I, like your wife, am a softie and would love to live on a farm with lots of animals. So glad there are people out there like you guys with big hearts! By the way, my lab is a big farter too. I call them SBD's. (silent, but deadly) Vote up and funny!

    • Vidya Mallar profile image

      Vidya Mallar 4 years ago from India

      Bill, this was very interesting dear, What a noble soul your Bev is..She really is... and for you your love for your pets is clearly seen in your hub, by the way you have presented each one of them before the readers.. They are all lucky to have you two as their guardians... God Bless you both and your lovely pets..

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      b.Malin, so nice to now have you on Facebook. I can enjoy that sense of humor even where there are no new hubs from you.

    • Lucky Cats profile image

      Kathy 4 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California

      Hi there billybuck...well, I hit all the buttons on this one because, as you may notice by my name, I am an animal lover and advocate and I know, in time..if not already; you will be, too. Love this funny hub! You've described the ideocyncracies of animals which is what makes them so cool...and BEV..well, she's my hero without knowing anything else about her...which is why, I am willing to bet, you fell in love with her. And, in my humble opinion; any man who moves into an "animal shelter' and doesn't run for the the nearest exit is a GOOD man! A Good man is hard to find!! LOLO...seriously, though; give these babies love and affection and, the returns will be a thousand times. Animals and our relationship to them IS a everyday miracle..one which too many take for granted or do not even notice; realize or care about. Me, well...it's another story alltogether. Bless you, billybuc, for caring (as is obvious) enough to share your furry family with us. All UPS!! Kathy

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Pickles, I can so relate to the SBD comment. That's Jazz in a nutshell...and she looks so innocent when she is doing them. haha...thank you my friend, as always.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Vidya, you are oh so correct...Bev is a noble soul indeed! Thank you my dear!

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 4 years ago from London, UK

      Wow... it must be busy round yours. I like the way they all have different personalities. I like all their names but Jazz - is such a cool name. :-)

      I haven't got pets. I used to have 2 goldfish though.

      Great read. Adorable pets.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kathy, thank you! I am trying to be a good man and Bev is my guiding light! And although I make it sound like it is miserable at times there is nowhere I would rather be than here with Bev and the animals. As I type this I have Cee Cee in my lap, perfectly content...anyone who does not like animals seriously has a screw loose. LOL...thank you my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Lady E....Elena...it is never boring here, that's for sure. :)

    • Bishopdown profile image

      Bishopdown 4 years ago from Tampa, Florida

      I can certainly agree with you about having a zoo at home. As a kid I grew up with pets, usually a dog and a cat. When I got married we ended up with 5 cats and talk about cat litter, man it was crazy. I had to custom build two huge litter boxes in order to accommodate all those cats. But, I loved them all.

      I liked this hub

    • Coolmon2009 profile image

      Coolmon2009 4 years ago from Texas, USA

      I enjoyed reading your story, makes me think about my dog.

    • Austinstar profile image

      Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

      I just lost my little boy - Chico. He was about 10 years old and a better dog never to be found. He was constantly by my side and would have lived in my lap if he hadn't weighed 64 pounds. He used to wait until I fell asleep before jumping up to sleep next to me. After a few years of this he finally just looked at me when I went to bed and said, "I'm going to get up there as soon as you start snoring, so you might as well let me up now." And of course, I would.

      Chico developed canine cancer common to golden retrievers and never once complained. He must have had it for years and never whined until a mass suddenly appeared on his belly close to his urinator. I rushed him to animal emergency, but they said there is nothing that could be done. He is sleeping the long sleep now and I still wait for his muzzle next to my head to tell me to quit snoring.

      I have two other dogs older than dirt, so I will soon be dogless. I may have to visit a shelter and find a new one to keep the fleas alive around here.

      Good hub, I loved it. Thank you for reminding me what a big family of doggies is like.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Bishop, quite frankly I'm not sure I trust anyone who does not like animals. You, obviously, have passed the test. Thank you again for visiting my site.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Coolmon; I appreciate you visiting and commenting.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Austin, I had a friend recently who lost a retriever to the same cancer. I wonder if they are prone to that. Anyway, I really am sorry for your loss. Losing a pet can be heartbreaking. I know we will lose Jazz in the near future and that will be a sad day.

      Thank you!

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 4 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      I think I love animals more than humans. I have learned unconditional love from my "babies." When I had to put my beloved "Clancey" down it almost was more than I could bare. We were together for 13 years.

      Now I have a cocker spaniel (Dobro) who is a rescue dog around 11 years old. He's not my Clancey but he's a close second and I love him.

      Wonderful hub! Thanks Bill. Voted up and across and sharing .

    • MelChi profile image

      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      Bill, I know exactly what you're talking about! We live with two female cats, and they take over the bed, the couch and the entire house! What a beautiful family of animals you have - very cute! Thanks for sharing :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Audrey, I love cocker spaniels. My very first dog when I was three was "Sugar" a cocker..she ran away but ever since then I have had a special place in my heart for them. Thank you as always for your support.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      MelChi, I wouldn't have it any other way. And when we get to the farm there will be larger animals and they will dominate my life as well and that's how it should be. Thank you my friend.

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      MizBejabbers 4 years ago

      Purple poop! What do you feed that dog? I love animal people like you and your Bev. I had a friend like Bev years ago. She would stop on the side of the road and pick up any stray she saw, much to her husband's chagrin. We don't have to. My husband says that somewhere near our house is a sign in animal language that says, "Fools live here." We've found homes for several, taken one to a no-kill shelter, and kept the rest. Our two cats are both rescue animals, one of which we stopped four lanes of traffic on a busy street to rescue. When my husband held up this little baby kitten, the people in all four lanes applauded. She is 19 now and our baby. The last two that came to our house were full-blood English mastiff babies that, sadly, we couldn't keep. I wanted them so bad. Hats off to you!

    • Maddambutterfly profile image

      Marie V Stephens 4 years ago from New Mexico

      The last time I bought home an animal was 12 yrs ago. I have four pets all over the age of 12. I strongly believe the words of Gandhi when he said that “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated”. Beautiful hub!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Miz, I love the story about the freeway and people applauding. Hooray for you and hooray for all animal lovers. Thank you for your kindness and for your kind words towards Bev and I. We are only doing what seems oh so right.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much, Maddam; it's always nice to see you stop by and I agree completely with the words of Gandhi!

    • Amy Becherer profile image

      Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Dear Bill, Just like humans, our critters are uniquely exasperating and endearing. I can tell from reading your hilarious descriptions of each resident beastie, you are every bit as smitten with each and every one of them as Bev. Your photos add so much to this hub, too. I was laughing out loud as I gazed upon the furrowed brow of Jazz standing in her "favorite poop spot", as if she is thinking "I think I can. I think I can".

      Before I left my home in Hillsboro, MO, I had my "now sadly missed", 12-1/2 year old Golden Retriever, who died from cancer, a Scottish Terrier, my companion now, a rescue Papillon, an aquatic red slider turtle, a rescue rabbit, a chinchilla, a Sun Conyer parrot and 4 stray cats. Moving into an apartment meant finding good homes for all of my buddies, which I accomplished with the exception of the 4 stray cats. The shelters, including The Open Door Sanctuary, were all full. Try as I might, I could not find them a home. I agonized over this, but eventually could no longer manage the 2-hour round-trip on a daily basis to give them food and water. I still hope they found a compassionate soul that fell in love with them.

      Bravo to you and Bev, for not only the generosity you show in sharing your home, but in the love you give each of your critter friends. They and you are lucky to have each other.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Amy, I always look forward to your comments. There is great depth in each of your sharings and I appreciate that greatly. I grew up with animals, loved my childhood pet for eighteen years; she was my constant companion. I can't imagine not having pets around.

      Yes, I am every bit as smitten as Bev is with these flee-bitten creatures. :) Thank you, Amy, and I'm sending you peace and happiness as your constant companions.

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 4 years ago from Houston, Texas

      You are our kind of folks! You had me laughing as I was reading this because we can relate on so many levels. We have taken in (I lost count) so many strays over the years that my husband used to kid that there must have been signs directing them to our home. We found forever homes for many of them and kept some that we did not think would have a chance in an animal shelter because of being too shy or too afraid.

      They make our life exciting and keep us smiling even with all of their ideosyncrasies. Ours have trained us (their people and personal servants) well. All the up votes and sharing this with others. Loved it!!!

    • Mighty Mom profile image

      Susan Reid 4 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      In a word: endearing. In another word: delightful. Love your descriptions of the pet personalities. What a mixed breed of furry love you have there. Bev sounds like my kinda woman and you seem to be adjusting well.

      My advice? Household needs another cat.

      But I am admittedly biased. We have four:-).

      Up and awesome on this one, BB. MM

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Hey, Mighty, nice to see you again. I hope you have been well. Thank you for your kind words. I'm afraid to pass alone your advice for fear Bev will take you seriously. :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Hey Peggy, thank you and it's always nice to know there are more like us out there in HubPages. I think that falls under "misery loves company." I'm kidding of course; I love our troop and I'm sure we will add to the family soon enough.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      this was hilarious! And so true coming from an animal fanatic like me! I would be surrounded by animals too if I had my way and a bigger house! did you know bev was into housing all these animals when you met her? haha! how lovely! I love cats because they make me laugh, and dogs just melt my heart, even if they do make various smells! and don't worry, you will get used to loving the cat, my dad did, he always said he hated the cats, we had two, until one day when he thought one of them had got stuck underneath the coal in the shed! he scrabbled about with his hands trying to find the darn thing, and didn't realise why we were laughing! the cat was sat on the fence watching him!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Nell, that's a great story about your dad! I don't dislike cats as much as I let on; they amuse me and I'm sure I amuse them so we have a workable relationship. :) Thank you my friend; have a wonderful weekend.

    • Fennelseed profile image

      Annie Fenn 4 years ago from Australia

      Sorry to say this Bill, but coming from an animal lover and therefore having some affinity with Bev, "just roll with the punches Mate, that's all you can do"!!!

      These loveable critters each have their place in your abode and your heart, just let them bound, smooch, sidle, or stumble on in, cos they will anyway. I'm afraid you just have to accept your place in the pack and go with the flow.

      A very entertaining and relatable read, thank you. We only have one critter at the present time, our feline we call 'Chai', but like you we are moving to our acreage in the next 2/3 years and plan on expanding the family then.

      Fun times ahead for us all, hey!!!!

      All my votes and best wishes to you Bill, and sharing!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Best wishes to you as well Annie. We will compare notes when we both get to the country; we can see which one of us has the most critters. :) Thank you as always for your support.

    • Happyboomernurse profile image

      Gail Sobotkin 4 years ago from South Carolina

      This was so funny. You really brought each pet's character to light in such a human and interesting way. Loved the names and photos of their antics.

      Voted up across the board!

    • Angela Brummer profile image

      Angela Brummer 4 years ago from Lincoln, Nebraska

      Very cute! Nice family!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Gail! They are quite comical, each in their own way.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Angela, a very nice family for sure. Thank you!

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      All such sweet lovable animals. Those land mines are pretty easy to miss!

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and awesome. Loved this introduction to your animal family. They all sound delightful. My cat Sid totally agrees and sends them all a hearty meow.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dianna, me thinks I protest too much! They are lovable and a bit habit forming. Thank you as always!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Gypsy, I will pass along your cat's kind words, and pass alone a thank you to you as well.

    • profile image

      KDuBarry03 4 years ago

      I think your Cee Cee and my Brownie will be great friends, haha! If she's your Winnie, Brownie is definitely my Tigger! If my other dog, Missy, can talk and read, she would have been nodding in agreement with you all the way through this! And oh, watch out for the purple poop at night; it definitely matches the ground all to well after dark! haha

      Great hub, as always, bill!

      -KD

    • Docmo profile image

      Mohan Kumar 4 years ago from UK

      Bill. You and Bev have such generous spirits and a whole basket of patience to be able to look after these charismatic critters. Your love for them shines in your little profiles. You both are so loving and caring to these wonderful creatures. Thanks for sharing these e periences here, awesome of course!

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      Only you would add the wondrous photos! Bev may be your guiding light but I have a feeling you're her lighthouse!

      Animals are the best thing we have (besides each other of course) they provide us with so much as you've so aptly pointed out.

      I sense, though you protest, you will go with the flow and love the 'growing' family you will surely have eventually, just think, then you'll be able to fill the ark!

      Loved this hub and your humor as always.

      Voted up, funny, beautiful and awesome.

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Keith, LOL...the purple poop is definitely a land mine to watch out for. Perhaps we can establish Cee and Missy as pen pals.

      Thank you my friend!

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Docmo, thank you kindly! A little bit of love goes a long way and animals could teach us all a bit about unconditional love, don't you think?

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mary, thank you my dear. I hope I am a lighthouse for her! I think we compliment each other quite well. I hope you are well and I wish you a wonderful weekend.

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      Joseph De Cross 4 years ago

      Wow! Billybuc! Took me 54 seconds to get to the bottom of the line? What are you feeding to your readers? Purple thoughts? What can I add to the wonderful comments? Just admiration for your heart of Gold. You and Bev have made a commitment for life and.. has been entrusted with those adorable kids. Where did my words come from? Simple, from my heart... the same one that inspires me and you to write 'hubs' that appeal to a great audience. You do not need to be computer savvy to make people feel good. Jaz, Atticus and Cee Cee have adopted you with love... wait a minute, who is in a shelter in here?

      LORD

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      kingmaxler 4 years ago from Olympia, Washington USA

      Mary, he is my lighthouse. I could not have a more inspiring forever partner in life. I love Bill beyond the capacity of words.

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      Ruby Jean Fuller 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

      HaHa, Fart bombs..LOL This is hilarious and so cleverly written. I don't have a pet. I'm allergic to animal dander. I would love to have a kitten and a small dog, but no can do. Fun hub..Enjoyed..

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lord....haha....there are days I'm not certain at all who is in the shelter but I love every minute of it. Thank you my friend; your kind words touched me this morning. Have a wonderful weekend!

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Awwww, Bev! Big stupid grin on my face. Love you honey and oatmeal forever!

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ruby, I'm sorry you can't have pets. There are days I'd be more than willing to give you two or three of ours. LOL....thank you my dear and have a great weekend.

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      Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Well Bill - you've met your match buddy!

      I have 3 dogs, a cat, a hamster, one African Grey parrot - the Quaker just escaped!, 5 more birds! Omg! One of my dogs is also a Daschund (mini). He is the most stubborn of all...and I think all my pets are challenged in one way or another:) haha!

      Hilarious - I can't wait for you guys to get to move onto a farm - I'd love that!

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kelly, you for sure have us beat....but wait until we move to that farm...then the sky is the limit. LOL Thanks my friend and have a great weekend.

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      Sandra Busby 4 years ago from Tuscaloosa, Alabama, USA

      One of your best -- and funniest. Laughing at ourselves is always our best medicine.

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Aww, thank you Sandra! This was an easy hub to write because of the star players.

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      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      This is hilarious, Bill! Until I move back home with my 3 cats, at the moment, we humans are accompanied by 3 cats and 2 dogs. Amazingly, they all get along!

      But, you're right about cats. They will pick out the humanoid that either can't stand cats, or are allergic to them and decide to "play nice".

      One reason I prefer cats to dogs, besides the fact that they don't fart while you're eating or poop in your footsteps, is they have a mind of their own - much like strong women!

      When you and Bev buy your farm, you'll probably have to hire a goat to keep your herd in check while you write! Otherwise, you may find yourself once again changing careers..... Just a thought. Ha ha!

      Love your humor, Bill! It comes out more and more with your off-the-wall hubs!

      LYL!

      Sha

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      Christy Birmingham 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Great hub Bill! I do like how each of the animals have their own personality. They are such a great big family :)

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I forgot to add that our cat poops in the bathtub....independent little shit.

      Thanks my friend; July will be here soon and so will freedom and a new life.

      Have a great weekend Sha!

      LOL

      bill

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks Christy! Have a great weekend!

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      IsadorasThought 4 years ago

      So sweet! Only one thing: I am owned by the two cheeky cats I live with. There is no way they'd let me own them!

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Isadoras, I understand completely. LOL Thank you for stopping by!

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      Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York

      Billybuc: OH HOW I LOVE ANIMALS! I SO adored this hub!

      Voted Up, funny, beautiful and interesting.

      We have four cats: 2 of them: I yielded to temptation at a mall pet store, named them Frodo and Galadriel.

      one is a stray...jumped into my husband's truck when he was at a gas station, and rubbed in his face. She had him at "meow". We named her Martha as she is like the biblical Martha who was so "BUSY"...her whole goal in life is to get into trouble, and she does it well.

      Found a black and white 1 pound kitten at a mall out of town under a car meowing his heart out. Brought "Sylvester" home.

      What would you do without your animals??? We don't need them...they need us.

      Anyone who is an animal lover is a good person, in my book. God bless Bev and you for your great hearts.

      Great write up, very, very amusing.

      Thank you for sharing your "family" on HubPages! God bless you real good, Sparklea :)

      PS: Beware when you move to the country!!! People LOVE to drop off animals ...but whoever ends up on your doorstep will be one lucky animal!

      PSS: STILL reading your great book, I will let you know when I finish. VERY intrigued with what will happen next. :) :)

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lea, I can grumble with the best of them but I absolutely love all four of them. When we get our farm we will have goats and chickens, peacocks and whatever else we can round up. It will be great fun! Oh, and a horse...must have a horse

      Thank you my friend; I need to visit your site and see if you have written anything of late. I'm glad you are enjoying the book.

      Peace and happiness to you,

      bill

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      Holle Abee 4 years ago from Georgia

      Love this hub! Hubby and I are owned by two Great Danes. Can you imagine our land mines?? We also feed a herd of feral cats, which I'm trying to tame. Voted up!

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Habee, I'm laughing at the vision of those land mines you deal with. Best of luck with those feral cats; they can be a tough sell. Thank you as always.

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      Nithya Venkat 4 years ago from Dubai

      It is really great that you have adopted homeless pets. You must be having a blast with all of them around. Enjoyed reading and voted up. You have a kind and generous heart.

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Vellur, our pets are totally enjoyable and they deserve their own hub. Thank you once again for stopping by.

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      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      LOVE THIS! your humor is always fantastic. and so refreshing! not many people can make fart jokes and get away with it as quality writing! you described these loveable pets so well that i feel like i know them. i feel all they joy and humorous pain they surely provide mountains of.

      Lucy reminds me fondly of our family cat "kitty". He was also slightly aloof and fond of sitting on board games we were playing, puzzles we were putting together, wrapping paper we were using, etc. one morning he jumped on the table, sat on my mother's newspaper, and put his tail in her coffee! boy do i miss him. thanks for the memory! :)

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      Rosemary Sadler 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      Haha. But you are quite naive Billy, do you honestly think when you move and have acreage it will just be more cats and dogs, Oh boy no, it will be chickens (which won't be for eating), a couple of unwanted pigs, goats, ducks and maybe even an old donkey saved from the glue factory.

      Hmmm I'll be watching your hubs in 3 years time. Lol

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dana, it's always nice to see you here. I think, if anyone reads between the lines, they can tell that I really do love these animals,even when they are driving me crazy. Thanks my friend!

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rosemay, I am preparing myself for that moment and I know fully well that it will come. How about some peacocks and emus while we are at it? LOL Thank you!

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      Jessee R 4 years ago from Gurgaon, India

      Now Sir that is an engaging family... I had six rabbits as pets when I was small.. but my parents gave them away because they thought they were making the place unclean..

      Then I had an Eagle( a kid )... But I taught him to fly and then let him off... to find prey..

      Great hub

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rahul, an eagle! How exciting that would have been. I also had rabbits at one time. Obviously you are a man who loves animals and I salute you for that. Thank you for taking the time to visit once again.

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      Mary Strain 4 years ago from The Shire

      Billybuc, your fur family is adorable. And what's a little intestinal indiscretion in the grand scheme of things, after all? My only suggestion is that you should get more cats.

      Cute, funny hub!

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Molly, I had the feeling that you would enjoy this one. I'll mention your suggestion to Bev but I wouldn't hold out much hope. :)

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      Justin W Price 4 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      beautiful family, billy. Thanks for sharing them. I have two fur babies as well and they rule the roost. Up and shared!

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      PDX, thank you! I grumble a lot about ours but I totally enjoy them.

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      Theresa Ast 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Bill - I can so relate. We have always seemed to have a houseful of cats and dogs. Very funny. Good read as always. Theresa

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Theresa, despite my grumblings I am grateful for our growing brood. Thank you my dear and have a wonderful summer vacation.

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      Michelle Liew 4 years ago from Singapore

      Sounds like a fantastic brood of pets...say hi to them for me!

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I will indeed, Midget! Thanks for the visit.

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      Deborah Neyens 4 years ago from Iowa

      My husband feels your pain, Bill. We have 1 dog (another Lucy) and 3 cats (Moe, Squeaky and Birdie). But to top it all off, I recently added three backyard hens to the mix (Mabel, Hazel, and Penelope), who live in a little dollhouse-like chicken coop set in a 20' x 6' dog kennel that we converted to a chicken yard. So don't let Bev see this in case she gets some ideas!

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Deborah, I'm laughing because I'm the one who wants chickens. LOL...I need to show this to Bev so she will know I'm not the only one. Thank you my friend and stay cool this week...if possible.

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      Sharilee Swaity 4 years ago from Canada

      Billy, I am keeling over in my chair, from laughter. So funny!!! Opposites really do attract because you don't sound like much of an animal person! Maybe they will grow on you. After being married for three years, my husband has actually grown to love our three cats. He still makes fun of them all the time, like you, too. I adored this hub. Have a wonderful 4th of July!

    • DeborahNeyens profile image

      Deborah Neyens 4 years ago from Iowa

      I'll stay cool, but it's those chickens I'm worried about. My husband thought I was nuts when I set a fan up in front of their coop the other day. : )

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Deborah, great move with the fan; animals have it much worse than us humans.

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sharilee, don't tell anyone but I actually like our pets. They are a pain in my rear end at times but they are enjoyable and loving. Thank you for reading and I will, indeed, have a great 4th. Hey, a belated Happy Canada Day! That's what you call it, right?

    • Made profile image

      Madeleine Salin 4 years ago from Finland

      Hilarious hub! I could not stop reading and laughing. I have three cats and one of them is pooping in the shower. She will have kittens in a couple of weeks. Imagine that cat mother showing her kids where to go pooping. You have a wonderful family and a wonderful way of describing it! This is a hub I will remember for a long time.

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Made, I am picturing in my mind that cat schooling, the mother patiently teaching her babies to climb into the shower and do their business there...hilarious...I'm so happy someone else can relate to that experience.

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      iamaudraleigh 4 years ago

      What great pets you have there! Love all f them! The names ATTICUS and CEE Cee...original and wild! It is nice to see this side of you! Hope puppy's shoulder gets better too!

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      iamaudraleigh 4 years ago

      Love Simon and Garfunkle!!!

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Audra, Cee Cee now has use of all legs...for the time being at least! Atticus is named after Atticus Finch in "To Kill A Mockingbird," my favorite book. I was allowed to name him, a great honor I might add, and that's what I came up with.

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      And Simon and Garfunkle love you, Audra! :)

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      Cynthia Calhoun 4 years ago from Western NC

      Hahaha, at least in the country, everyone can run free...like my dog and cats. I have three "children" - and they all come and go as they please. Incidentally, I have a crazy yellow lab who, like yours, is an artist at farting. Good God, we always have dinner and chemical warfare to contend with. Then Pepe aka "JonCougarMelonCat" -because he is a very large kitty. Ralphie just thinks of murder all day - we regularly find moles, voles and mice waiting for us on the doorstep. Sheesh. What would life be without those animals? :)

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      Madeleine Salin 4 years ago from Finland

      I can really relate to this hub, but I agree with cclitgirl: "What would life be without those animals?". I'm most happy when I'm surrounded by children and pets. Let's wait and see if my childhood dream will come true - having four children and five cats. ;-)

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Cyndi, life would be considerably more boring I think. LOL Good to have you here my friend; thank you!

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Made, I wish you luck with your childhood dream. As always, my best to you and your family.

    • Made profile image

      Madeleine Salin 4 years ago from Finland

      Thank you Bill! We just have a house to finish and one year left of my studies before we make new plans for our family. Finally the weather is wonderful here and I'll do my best to send it over to you. Have a nice day! :)

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Made; we could certainly use some good weather.

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      Deb Hirt 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      You know, Billy, dog food might not be that bad. Voted up and awesome, mainly for the creativity of each individual animal, plus the good story in that you put in there.

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Aviannovice, I'll keep the dog food idea in mind. With the poor economy it might come to that. :) Thank you!

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      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Good Morning, my friend -

      I loved it! Your fear of strays becoming household members reminds me of a German Shepherd that made it's home on our porch during a carnival week. Showed up the same day as the carnival and wouldn't leave. After two days, I went out and bought it a 25 lb bag of Purina. Nicest dog you've ever seen. When the carnival packed up, the dog was gone. I'd gone out to look for him and on my way in, my wife locked the door. Pointing down at my white pants, I looked to see 764 fleas crawling on them (I know it was 764 cuz I had to kill each and every one of them before being allowed admitance to the house). By the way, Little Friskies Tuna flavor isn't bad if you mix it with Ritz Crackers!

      Have a great day, Bill!

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      Sherri 4 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

      It was two months ago that you wrote this hub, Bill...I wonder, has Bev served you kibbles for dinner yet? lol What a wonderful read.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LMAO...Rich, you kill me! 764? Are you sure you didn't miss one? We are definitely in flea season now....I start itching just looking at the mangy pets we have. They would get me enough at the glue factory for a good cup of coffee, so I might as well hold onto them.

      Thanks buddy; going shopping later and I'll see if Friskies is on sale.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sherri, not yet, but you can be sure I check my food closely every day. LOL Thank you!

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      Maria Jordan 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Yes, Bill, zebras are reactionary! I so much prefer our pooches and kitty cats...! (I love S & G too...!)

      You and Bev have a beautiful and generous spirit, with an incredible sense of humor. It was amazing meeting your menagerie, well one picture was rated "oh wow, really!"

      Voted UP and across the board. Hugs, Maria

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      kelleyward 4 years ago

      You are living in an animal shelter!!! I use to say I wanted 7 cats but since I've had 3 boys, this dream has died. We now have one cat named Jasmine, like your dog. Voted up and interesting. Kelley

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Marcoujor, did I just hear a little Simon & Garfunkel? I believe I did. LOL Thank you Maria, you are a good person and I'm glad you enjoyed getting to know our little family.

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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kelley, any old time you want more pets you just let me know; we will be glad to loan out a couple for you. LOL

      Have a great weekend and thank you!

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      Katheryn 4 years ago from United States

      Billy, I don't know how you do it. Who else could write a side splitting funny piece about dog and cat doodie and horrific dog farts. LOLOLOL Thanks, I needed a good laugh before retiring. Bev and I would get along well; as I would take in stray kids and animals! Voted UP as always! PS what is with the purple dog pooie? And why is your hub page different...did I miss an announcement or something?

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Travel, our dogs are renowned for their ability to poop purple. We plan on taking them on the road for one night stands around the country. LOL

      Yep, new profiles are available; eventually everyone will be doing it. If you want to get it out of the way, go to my profile and then click on the link in the upper right hand corner that says edit your profile...it takes about ten minutes to do.

      Thank you!

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