The Hazards of Having a Loving Cat

For a short while it looked like my cat was out to get me. I kept tripping over him constantly. I am not sure what caused it, but he managed to cause havoc for a few weeks. Either, he learned to stay out of my way or I became more nimble. Here is my account of that time. My cat prefers not to comment.

I love my cat and I think my cat loves me right back, but must he try to trip me every living moment? Does your cat do that?

Heading into this week, I have been unceremoniously tripped by my cat more than once. Normally, I am able to negotiate around him and manage to avoid his lazy paws lying all around me…but lately, I have not been so lucky!

I have wrenched my back and practically demolished the house tripping over my cat as I tried to maintain my balance!

He, already, has been banished from the bedroom; not only, because he gets curious while I am sleeping and sniffs me to see if I am still alive (I suppose); he pokes his whiskers up my nose just for fun.

However, that did not earn him exile. He earned that, ultimately, because he barfed on the comforter in the dead of night! This caused a huge kerfufel and hasty trip to the laundry room to wash and dry the comforter in the dead of night!

Now he only manages a sneak cat nap, once in a while, if I leave the door even slightly ajar. “What?” he seems to say as I find him sleeping comfortably there, “I used to be able to sleep here!”

Since, I banished him from the bedroom, he misses me terribly in the morning after a whole night’s absence!

He dogs my steps all the way into the kitchen and wherever I happen to move. He isn’t a cuddler, so picking him up and giving him a hug doesn’t work. He resents that. I have tried it. He gives me a low warning growl, as if to say…”Stop that right now and put me down!” For effect, he puts his ears back and his eyes go all black. He looks so cute and positively evil. So I put him back on the floor, gently.

He walks off giving a whole body shake like we do when we have been totally "creeped out" and then he shakes his back leg, for final emphasis. I am certain that I have got the message. .. big "he-males" don’t cuddle!

A Trip Hazard:

One early morning a few days ago, he was lying on the bathroom rug, which is a dark brown. He is mostly black with some dark brown and if his eyes are almost closed -he is an "invisible cat" to me.

In other words, he blends into the floor! The lights were not on except for the nightlight. Cats are supposed to see in low light. Right?

Is my cat blind? I am big and very visible.

I am certain my steps are not so light that he doesn’t sense the eminent danger coming his way. I wear a light blue robe and at that time of night, I kind of lumber around bumping into walls without my glasses on. Has he not been observing? Obviously not!

So it happened that I stepped on his paws and practically wiped out trying not to crush him! He is gone in a blink of an eye, while I am holding my wrenched back.

This morning, I “thought” I was awake and aware of my cat; but I was mistaken. He missed me even more because it was Saturday and I slept in, so he was doing the usual, schmoozing around my feet and not paying attention …because he trusts I will delicately manoever around him. Such trust!

I was blissfully unaware of the hazard lurking at my feet as I ground the coffee beans, poured the ground coffee into the filter and took a few steps to the coffeemaker. I was thinking of that steaming cup I would soon be enjoying! That is when, I stepped on the cat again!

Once again, I threw up my arms in surprise and the ground coffee and filter flew out of my hands, landing all over the floor. The cat , who had wisely fled the scene, looked out from under a sheltering chair with a look of utter amazement that I would step on him again!

So I had to sweep the floor and re-grind some new coffee beans. Finally, the coffeemaker was brewing the coffee! I went to sit down in my favourite chair in the living room and enjoy the aroma. My eyes focused and I noticed it...

Cat barf all over the sofa!

Yuck. At least, he had tried to get off the furniture. The evidence was there…a trail across the sofa , ending on the floor. Hope you are not having your morning coffee while reading this!

So, this morning, even before I had my first cup of coffee, I was removing the slipcover (yeh, I don’t trust the little varmint) and rinsing off the offending stains in the bathtub and laundering. Then, back to clean up the carpet. Why does it seems to be a law of physics or "something" that cats never throw up on a smooth surface that is easy to wipe!

Finally, when I sat down to that first cup of coffee this morning…I had kind of lost the warm and fuzzy feeling of a lazy Saturday morning.

I can hardly wait for what surprises wait for me tomorrow morning. I am sure it will be special!

Like the day, he couldn’t move and I thought I would have to take him to the vet, wondering what horrible ailment had befallen him, until closer observation revealed he had dried poop on his britches…which I had to wash off.

You try washing a cat's behind in a pail of water...not fun...Well, okay, it was kinda funny for me despite the fact I had to wear rubber gloves and was grossed out...I got even for all the little Love incidents he has pulled off... he was really annoyed...LOL!

Cat love! Sigh!