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Polly, the Dow Cow

Updated on June 26, 2016
No pins, please! by rlz
No pins, please! by rlz

Yes, after the stunning success of Dolly, the cloned sheep, we now have Polly, the Dow Cow! The first fully-synthetic domestic farm animal ever, this full-size inflatable bovine is a boon to dairy farmers everywhere! No more crying over spilled milk! The Dow Cow produces only top-quality non-dairy whitener, complete with all essential polyethylene, polypeptides and polysorbate 60.

That huge smelly cattle barn becomes a thing of the past. Now Farmer Brown can simply deflate Polly and Molly and Bessie and Belle, and hang them all in a closet for the night. Tending the cattle gets easier, too, as kids love playing with the newly buoyant herd. Mixing eraser crumbs with their silage encourages rapid growth, and adds a certain bounce to their steps.

That old gruesome and unsavory task of slaughter will also fade away as an outmoded relic of cattle days past. The thoroughly modern cowboy uses just a quick painless poke with a straight pin!

Yep. There's plenty more at rickzworld.

(Another great bonus for the environment and fun-seekers everywhere: Dow Cowpies make great gag whoopee cushions!)

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    • rickzimmerman profile image
      Author

      rickzimmerman 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      Your local tire center should have a sign-up desk (near the air hose). ha

    • lundmusik profile image

      lundmusik 6 years ago from Tucson AZ

      ok, so where do we sign up for this??? sounds great,, :)

    • rickzimmerman profile image
      Author

      rickzimmerman 7 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      In times of hunger, we just pump up the herd! Thanks!

    • Veronica Allen profile image

      Veronica Allen 7 years ago from Georgia

      I lov the idea of a deflatable cow - who wouldn't. Love it and rated it up!

    • Enelle Lamb profile image

      Enelle Lamb 7 years ago from Canada's 'California'

      A very economical solution for dairy farmers everywhere!

    • stars439 profile image

      stars439 7 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      The future holds great hope. Love this Hub. God Bless