Polly, the Dow Cow

Yes, after the stunning success of Dolly, the cloned sheep, we now have Polly, the Dow Cow! The first fully-synthetic domestic farm animal ever, this full-size inflatable bovine is a boon to dairy farmers everywhere! No more crying over spilled milk! The Dow Cow produces only top-quality non-dairy whitener, complete with all essential polyethylene, polypeptides and polysorbate 60.

That huge smelly cattle barn becomes a thing of the past. Now Farmer Brown can simply deflate Polly and Molly and Bessie and Belle, and hang them all in a closet for the night. Tending the cattle gets easier, too, as kids love playing with the newly buoyant herd. Mixing eraser crumbs with their silage encourages rapid growth, and adds a certain bounce to their steps.

That old gruesome and unsavory task of slaughter will also fade away as an outmoded relic of cattle days past. The thoroughly modern cowboy uses just a quick painless poke with a straight pin!

Yep. There's plenty more at rickzworld.

(Another great bonus for the environment and fun-seekers everywhere: Dow Cowpies make great gag whoopee cushions!)