THE CAT THAT SAVED ME
From Here to There-From There to Here
My life was in the toilet. Out of work, out of money, foreclosure looming. Depressed? Depressed was not the world, I was approaching non-functional. There were decisions to make, what to do, where to go, how to get there, Time was running out. Where was I going to live? How was I going to make a living? What was I going to do with the accumulation of memories tied up in 20 years of stuff? If I let go of the stuff, I let go of the memories.
The First was Easy
The first two questions where easier to solve than the last. My favorite oldest daughter asked me to come and lend a hand with Xavier and Ashley who was soon to arrive. I would be the nanny! What a joy that will be. But what would I do with all my STUFF?
But I Want to Keep It All!
was in shambles with piles of stuff everywhere. Wandering through the house, I moved the piles of
stuff “to keep” over to the piles of “stuff not to keep”. then I moved it all back again adding to it the stuff
that I decided not to toss.
My life had ground to a halt. I had to leave for a new life in Atlanta. My mind knew it was the right decision but my heart refused to co-operate. I couldn't move in either direction, neither forward or backward. So I just froze in place.
Shaking My Fist at the Injustice
I ranted. I raved. I shook my fists. I cried, I prayed. It didn't matter. God turned a deaf ear to my pleadings. "Dear Lord, if you just let me stay here, I promise I will change." Dear Jesus, don't you understand how much I don't want to move?'
Nothing but silence! My prayers fell on deaf ears! Why would God refuse me this one small request. I never asked for much. I never expected miracles. Just let me keep my stuff!
God had never simply abandoned me before. What every I had asked for, what every I needed, he had always provided. I was confused. When times had gotten tough before, a still small voice always whispered in my ear. This voice always reassured me that everything would be all right. And it always was.
I Must Have Been Deaf
I was so wrapped up in myself and my woes, I was deaf to God's voice. So he sent me a messenger. A messenger that he know I would recognize.
Out of the darkness, it strolled, talking all the way. It was the largest, furriest cat, I had ever seen. My pets and I watched him walk up the porch steps and sit down, talking all the time. The cat acted like it had lived here all its life. I picked him up; his fur was long and silky with a soft woolly undercoat, the large ears had tufts of fur overlapping the opening. The feet were huge, covered with fur, even between the toes and a magnificent tail that looked like it belonged on a raccoon. My heart leaped with joy. This wasn’t just any cat. This was a Maine Coon cat: a cat that had a history almost as long as this country’s, a cat that cost more money than I could spend, a cat I had wanted most of my life. The cat was starving but then so was I?
We Both Were Saved
Over the next few days, both of us were fed. The cat by Little Friskies and me… Well, I was fed by the cat that God had sent. When I stroked his fur and looked into the big green eyes, the cat knew what I was feeling. He knew what I was going through. He knew because his arrival was no accident. God had found a way to my attention. That he had a new life planned for me. All I had to do was to let go of the past and take without question the new life he had planned for me.
The stuff that I was agonizing over, what was it really? The answer,
nothing. Stuff is not alive, it doesn't feel, it doesn't care, it
doesn't love. It can't remember.
I had forgotten what my Lord and Savior told me:
Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?(Mathew 6:26)
Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: and yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed line on of these. (Mathew 6:28-29)
A Burden Lifted
The freedom I feel when I let go of the past and all MY STUFF is unbelievable. The worries are gone, the future is unfolding everyday. What if this move doesn’t work? Well, God will just send another messenger to tell me it will be okay.
Every Peice Began to Fall into Place
As I surrendered my life to God's will, everything simply fell into place. I began to sort through my possessions. It was easier to choose the things to keep. It was even easier to let go of the stuff, well that was just stuff.
Some things I saved
like my mother's clock
and all my photographs.
My Grandmother's Secretary. I did keep that.
My hats, what should I do with my hats?
I would not shrivel up and die without them.
The landscape painting that I found at Goodwill. Let someone else enjoy it as much as I have.
What about my books? Where there any that I read more than once?
Keep those and let someone else enjoy the rest.
It's was Time
to let it all go. The only things that really matter are the things I already have.
- A loving and forgiving God who does hear all my prayers
- A loving family that stepped between me and the great blackness that threatened to envelope me. Their love and help made it possible for me to begin again.
- a roof over my head and food on the table
What more could a person ask for? Nothing, nothing at all. Even in my misery, I was better of then most of the people in the world. What was I worrying about? NOTHING!
When I completely let go of my STUFF and put my life into God's hands, everything I had been worried about evaporated. Friends and family offered to keep my pets for me for as long as I needed, store the things I kept, and get the things that I no longer needed into the hands of those who did.
Thank you, God, for always holding me in the palms of your hands. Even when I forget.