ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Why Everyone Should Own or Have a Goat!

Updated on May 10, 2019

Day Fifteen of my 30 hubs in 30 day challenge

I have procrastinated this for days. Hmmm, what to do? I have ran out of ideas to write about...maybe I should pop over to Stan Fletcher's profile and see if he has another challenge. Sure enough, he does. This one looks like a fun one. Welp, the I’s have it! I am a crazy nut that just can’t pass up a challenge that simulates my mind. Plus I get a chance to fritter away a few more hubs for my 30 hubs in 30 days hub challenge.

Again, Mr. Fletcher, I have to say that I can’t write on just one topic, so I will have to pick a couple.

*This hub is for the Stan Fletcher contest.*

I will begin your contest with...

Why I think everyone should have a goat.

Not only do goats produce milk for drinking and baking, but they are terrific lawnmowers. Just lead them around and before long your yard will be barren. Ready to cultivate the new genetically grown grass you had been working on.

Since goats bleep at anything that strolls by, they are like having your own watchdog. A few head butts with a disgruntled goat and you don’t have to worry about that annoying Girl Scout darkening your doorway anymore. Unless of course you were wanting your cookies. In that case, rope the goat!

Goats can be a man’s best friend if only they were easier to potty train. A new couch seems to be a prime target for those little critters like a fire hydrant is for dogs.

Kiss those shinny objects of affection (like a pair of metalic earrings) good-bye. For some reason they are candy to the goat. **Note to self, don't get eye level with your pet goat wearing a pair of these fancy earrings. You may lose an ear.**

Does your child need help on a history paper they put off till the last moment? Blame it on the goat. (Just make sure that when the teacher sees your pet, there is paper hanging from its chompers.)

If your child needs some cheap entertainment in the field of harassment, have them collect the goat’s poop pebbles and dry them out. They make great bullets for the slingshot. Plus, the child has the benefit of hiding the evidence if busted. This way they can claim it was the goat that shot Sally.

Want to pay someone back for the prank they pulled on you in school? Just make them some Goat Pebble Chocolate Cookies.

Goats are impressive when it comes to remodeling a car. There is nothing like the pitter patter of hoof prints in the newly polished hood to bring the blood to a boil. Need a new windshield? Let the billy have a go at it. Was the hail damage not enough to qualify for the deductible? A couple of hoof prints should do the job. In no time at all they can pimp a ride.

Watch me faint!

Help! I have fainted and can't get up!

The Fainting Goat

Goats come in many sizes and breeds, but the one I find the most entertaining are the fainting goats. (See video to the right.) Scaring those little suckers can be a blast, like a pipe bomb to lay out the herd. A backfiring truck has the same effect. It is like watching dominos drop.

Children love to stand behind a bush and when the little guy goes by, they jump out screaming. Eyes roll to the back of the goat’s head as it has a stroke and goes down.

My husband once drove by a fainting goat, as the truck passed by the goat dropped like a sack of potatoes, giving my hubby the heart attack. He thought somehow he had hit the goat and killed it. Poor kid!

My nephew informed me tonight as I was writing this hub, that goats are into recycling. He watched his pet drink its own urine and nibble on its poop pebbles.

Everyone needs a goat of their own. If for anything else but to keep them warm on a winter’s evening.

Can you hack the challenge?

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • tlpoague profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy 

      10 years ago from USA

      Thanks Alexander,

      According to my sister, they make horrible pets, but were great for other things. Of course if they keep remodeling her car, she may have a new pair of slippers. LOL!

    • Alexander Mark profile image

      Alexander Silvius 

      10 years ago from Portland, Oregon

      I am not sure goats are useful as pets, but I know they make great lawnmowers and tree trimmers - plus grass fertilizers!

    • tlpoague profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy 

      10 years ago from USA

      Thanks, You should see me go....

      Of course the hubby pulled out the paint again so we will see how these last ones are.

    • sueroy333 profile image

      Susan Mills 

      10 years ago from Indiana

      I want a goat. OK, I don't, but if I did, I would.

      This was funny. You're on a roll!!

    • tlpoague profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy 

      10 years ago from USA

      Thanks Silent,

      I will have to keep that in mind. :)

    • SilentReed profile image

      SilentReed 

      10 years ago from Philippines

      You have some very useful advice. I particularly like the pooh pebbles idea. But the chocolate bake cookies may pose a smelly problem in your oven.I think a better alternative is to bake a cake and use them as chocolate icing and decorate the top of the cake with some pooh pebbles but remember to dip them first into the chocolate pooh mousse :)

    • tlpoague profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy 

      10 years ago from USA

      No problem! I enjoyed writing them. One of these days I will have to give you a list of my killer hub ideas.

    • Stan Fletcher profile image

      Stan Fletcher 

      10 years ago from Nashville, TN

      Who wouldn't want to own a goat now? Very entertaining! I was wondering if you were going to take the challenge, and then you showed up with 3 at one time.... I'm impressed! Thanks for playing along.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)