Why Everyone Should Own or Have a Goat!

I have procrastinated this for days. Hmmm, what to do? I have ran out of ideas to write about...maybe I should pop over to Stan Fletcher's profile and see if he has another challenge. Sure enough, he does. This one looks like a fun one. Welp, the I’s have it! I am a crazy nut that just can’t pass up a challenge that simulates my mind. Plus I get a chance to fritter away a few more hubs for my 30 hubs in 30 days hub challenge.

Again, Mr. Fletcher, I have to say that I can’t write on just one topic, so I will have to pick a couple.

*This hub is for the Stan Fletcher contest.*

I will begin your contest with...

Why I think everyone should have a goat.

Not only do goats produce milk for drinking and baking, but they are terrific lawnmowers. Just lead them around and before long your yard will be barren. Ready to cultivate the new genetically grown grass you had been working on.

Since goats bleep at anything that strolls by, they are like having your own watchdog. A few head butts with a disgruntled goat and you don’t have to worry about that annoying Girl Scout darkening your doorway anymore. Unless of course you were wanting your cookies. In that case, rope the goat!

Goats can be a man’s best friend if only they were easier to potty train. A new couch seems to be a prime target for those little critters like a fire hydrant is for dogs.

Kiss those shinny objects of affection (like a pair of metalic earrings) good-bye. For some reason they are candy to the goat. **Note to self, don't get eye level with your pet goat wearing a pair of these fancy earrings. You may lose an ear.**

Does your child need help on a history paper they put off till the last moment? Blame it on the goat. (Just make sure that when the teacher sees your pet, there is paper hanging from its chompers.)

If your child needs some cheap entertainment in the field of harassment, have them collect the goat’s poop pebbles and dry them out. They make great bullets for the slingshot. Plus, the child has the benefit of hiding the evidence if busted. This way they can claim it was the goat that shot Sally.

Want to pay someone back for the prank they pulled on you in school? Just make them some Goat Pebble Chocolate Cookies.

Goats are impressive when it comes to remodeling a car. There is nothing like the pitter patter of hoof prints in the newly polished hood to bring the blood to a boil. Need a new windshield? Let the billy have a go at it. Was the hail damage not enough to qualify for the deductible? A couple of hoof prints should do the job. In no time at all they can pimp a ride.

Goats come in many sizes and breeds, but the one I find the most entertaining are the fainting goats. (See video to the right.) Scaring those little suckers can be a blast, like a pipe bomb to lay out the herd. A backfiring truck has the same effect. It is like watching dominos drop.

Children love to stand behind a bush and when the little guy goes by, they jump out screaming. Eyes roll to the back of the goat’s head as it has a stroke and goes down.

My husband once drove by a fainting goat, as the truck passed by the goat dropped like a sack of potatoes, giving my hubby the heart attack. He thought somehow he had hit the goat and killed it. Poor kid!

My nephew informed me tonight as I was writing this hub, that goats are into recycling. He watched his pet drink its own urine and nibble on its poop pebbles.

Everyone needs a goat of their own. If for anything else but to keep them warm on a winter’s evening.