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Don't wink and drive

Updated on April 19, 2013
You want this, even though you don't know what it is. We agree.
You want this, even though you don't know what it is. We agree.

Keep all your eyes on the road

A wink is a facial expression made by briefly closing one eye. It could be either eye: experts are unclear on this point. Winking happens behind the wheel. In that brief span of closure, your vehicle speeds along mostly unguided. Your brain receives less than half of the information normally available. We all pretty much agree that it's a bad thing under those circumstances. Don't wink and drive.

Systane Ultra Lubricant Eye Drops

If you must blink your individual eyes, lubricate your eyes both before and after the blinking process. This handy eye lubricant fits easily in your hand as you dispense soothing liquid drops into your ocular sockets. We strongly recommend resisting any urges to deploy this product while driving. Wait until you are safely idling in the drive-through at Taco Bell before dripping drops of any type into your vision receptors.


If you've read this far, you are either preparing a lawsuit or learning English as second language. Either way we can all agree that while winking and driving really stinks, tanning and winking and driving is much worse. To avoid finding yourself in such an avoidable situation we suggest a pair of Wink-Ease devices. They also prevent tan lines.

TONYMOLY Cats Wink TokTok Stick Balm

We have no clue what this is. Amazon sells it, so it must be good. An irresistible cuteness factor makes us want several of them in the car on the passenger seat next to us as we drive down the road not winking. Perhaps Tonymoly cats represent a powerful winking lobby secretly welding power in the halls of government. Beyond that, you'll have to do your own research. Keep us posted.

Charmtastic: Wink

If Halloween could wink, it would look like this. It does the winking, so you don't have to. Any Charmtastic bracelet, necklace, or accessory will inter-operate with this bauble. It goes well with driving and not winking. Order a set for all your favorite safe drivers as a reward for staying between the white lines.

Wink Wicker Outdoor Daybed with Canopy and Sunbrella Cushion

Herein we provide motivation for arriving home safely to partake of 40 winks in your outdoor daybed. Scientists mostly agree that safety can be achieved by sleeping: we concur, as long as you do it in a Wink Wicker Outdoor Daybed. This attractive furniture will not fit behind the wheel of your personal vehicle, so you're not tempted along those lines.

E-Z-GO 5-Panel Wink Mirror

Install this wide-angle mirror strategically in your RV or Prius to provide panoramic views of what's behind you. Don't be caught unawares by flashing red and blue lights attached to a vehicle driven by a uniformed agent of the state wearing badges and festooned with more gear than Batman. The outcome is rarely productive. This handy device will show you what you've been missing while you were winking.

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    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      I solemnly promise not to prink, ink, stink or wink while I drive, nicomp. But if offered a champagne toast, I just may clink!

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 4 years ago

      I can't wink and drive. I don't have the gene for winking! Up and funny....