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World’s Oldest Interviewer
Interview with World’s Oldest Interviewer
With 14 million people in America unemployed and looking for work, I decided to interview the oldest interviewer I could find to learn the questions he asked, and the best answers for job seekers to use.
I had to travel thousands of years, way, way back in time to the Paleolithic Era, but was lucky to find the world’s oldest interviewer named Grogg. (See Grogg and his two colleagues in the video below).
me – Good morning, Mr. Grogg. Thank you for granting me this interview.
Grogg – Call me Grogg. Things are slow this time of year. The really big animals are hibernating.
me – You mean the mammoths?
Grogg – Mammoths, schmammoths. I’m talking about those savage beasts with tremendous bodies, tiny forelegs, gigantic jaws and teeth. And ferocious breath.
me – Do you mean Tyrannosaurus Rex?
Grogg – No, (laughing hysterically) – Mother-in-laws!
me – You do have a sense of humor. I understand, Grogg, that you are the official interviewer for your tribe. Would you tell me how you choose a candidate for a job?
Grogg – First I look at his CV. It can’t be too wordy because it is chiseled on stone.
me – CV? Oh, yes, Curriculum Vitae – the phrase used in academia. We generally refer to it as a resume.
Grogg – Sometimes I ask other members of the tribe to interview with me.
Great Answers to Tough Questions
me – Right! A panel interview. Could you tell me what are your favorite questions to ask?
Grogg – I start off with “Why should our tribe hire you?”
me – Why do you ask that question first?
Grogg – To find out if the person has done any homework. Does he know our history, our culture, our favorite food to hunt? Will he fit in?
me – What would you say is the best answer to that?
Grogg – I can tell you the worst answer first. If he says, “Because I am the best candidate,” the interview is over. But if he says something like … “I know your tribe favors mammoth meat, and I have x number of years experience in mammoth slaying” that is a plus. Qualifications and experience are at the top of our list.
me – That makes sense. What do you ask next?
Grogg – “Why did you leave your last job?” We want to know if the tribe restructured or reorganized. That’s been happening a lot lately.
me – You mean, was he laid off?
Grogg – Right. Honesty is very important. The next question is: “ What did you dislike most about your last job?” If he says something like “it was personality dynamics,” then we become very suspicious. Maybe he was the problem, you know?
But if he says, “I loved my last job; what I dislike most is that it ended,” he could be a winner.
me – What if this person did dislike his last job?
Grogg – I would advise that if you didn’t love your last job, don’t say anything negative. Instead, say something like: “There were many aspects of my job that were rewarding.” And give some examples.
Best Answers to Interview Questions
me – Good advice. What’s your next question?
Grogg – I used to ask the traditional interviewing questions like: “What are your strengths ?” And “What are your weaknesses?” But most hunters today know those common questions will be asked and prepare answers beforehand.
I like to ask, “Tell me about yourself” to learn personal information. You know, How many wives does he have? How many skins does he own? How many weapons is he familiar with? . . . the usual. I usually get those answers when I ask this question.
If not, later I ask, “What else should I know about you?” Works almost all the time.
me – Any other favorite questions?
Grogg – I usually ask “Where do you see yourself five years from now?”
me – What is the worst answer you ever heard to that?
Grogg – If he says, “In your job,” the interview is over! I want to hire someone with specific professional goals. Good answers might be: “I hope to have more responsibility” … “more new, exciting challenges” … that sort of thing.
I also like to ask “Tell me three positive characteristics other people have said you possess.”
me – What kind of answers do you like best?
Grogg – I give points for “team builder, hard worker, creative” – especially if they use examples. Like “My chief said I was a born leader.” … “My shaman called me imaginative and creative.” … “My mother says I’m a teddy bear.” (Laughs) Just kidding with that last one.
me – Grogg, thank you for your wise advice. BTW, I noticed you only mention candidates using masculine words like ‘he’ and ‘him.’ Don’t female candidates apply for jobs with the tribe?
Grogg – Naw, we don’t allow women to work! They stay home and clean the caves, gather the firewood, cook the food, gather berries and fruits, bear the children and care for them, wash our clothes in the river, sew animal skins for clothing, and serve our food. We don’t allow females to work.
me – I guess some things never change. Is there anything you wish to add as advice for job seekers?
Grogg – Just tell them to go forth and ace those interviews. Remember to smile, use a firm handshake and as much eye contact as possible without staring. But keep your spear handy. Just in case.
© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2012, 2013 Rev. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So." . . . Learn to write a dynamic resume and cover letter, network effectively, interview confidently, and negotiate salary successfully. Includes chapter for older workers.
The Origin of Job Interviews
- Answers to Interview Questions – Part One
Win more job offers with these best answers to common and uncommon interview questions. - Answers to Interviewing Questions – Part Two
Best interview answers to What are your strengths, weaknesses, and 'you appear to be over- qualified.'
Related
Comments for Interview with World's Oldest Interviewer
Cute, but only a cave man would do those jobs.
That was really funny, especially the video. I loved the man with the broken CV.
I'm going to have to keep coming back to this one. It's a "cracker".
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True, Becky, and only a cave woman would probably appreciate him. :)
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Thank you, chris, Grogg thanks you, too. Come back any time. 'Specially since you called this a 'cracker.'
What a fun way to start the day. This is a very amusing hub and I liked all of the little cartoons and the video. Your sense of humor came through again.
Interesting hub.It was a funny interview but today job interviews are tougher than earlier.
Once again, this is a very funny interview hub, drbj! As always, I enjoyed reading it. The video was great, too. I loved the way that you weaved very useful job interview advice with humor. Thank you for the excellent advice as well as the entertainment.
I would think a hiring manager might like an answer to Where do you see yourself in 5 years to be, "I see myself doing your job because you have moved up to CEO".
Such a funny hub! Thank you for writing this!! voted up!
The best thing about being retired is not to have job interviews. In retrospect I think they are rituals to see if you will be allowed to join the tribe. voted up. shared.
Grogg's a laugh but he actually gives really - and I mean really good advice drbj !- unfortunately - I am always out of work because that is the nature of the building industry - you build something than have to find the next thing being built - we actually kill our jobs (we kill what we most love!LOL!) so I am always in the I loved my last job category! It was a job!
Another great Hub! I'm glad I no longer have to be subjected to a job interview, but I remember them well!
Loved the video. Mary
I chuckled throughout, in a "yeah, I recognize that tactic" kind of way. I laughed outright when I got to your question of Grogg regarding female applicants. His answer was so typical, it made me too mad to laugh! It was your summary in that "somethings never change" that made me laugh til I couldn't see straight. And, again when I read the final tidbit of advice to "keep your spear handy. Just in case." Pure, comedic genius, you are, drbj. You just gave me an overdose of what the doctor ordered. All buttons hit for lift off! Thank you
This is GREAT. I lol all the way through the interview. I loved the cartoons, funny how women's work hasn't changed that much.Ha..You are the master interviewer..Loved it And there are twelve more videos to watch..See ya my friend...
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Delighted, Pamela, I could give you a fun way to start the day. Thank you for finding this amusing and enjoying the cartoons and the video. And for vindicating my sense of humor.
What a gem! Your special touch makes the interview process a bit less intimidating. If I can win Grogg over, then I shouldn't have too much trouble with today's hiring managers...they haven't really changed all that much. ;) Loved the video. Watched it twice. Up, funny, and useful!
Was Grogg really able to say 'Gr' in the Paleolithic Era? Wow! Again, as always, I've smiled all the way from beginning to end. The video is hilarious!
Drbj, it is 30 minutes past midnight down here. I wanted to tell you how much I've enjoyed a series of novels about those cave-people, and all I can remember now is that the surname of the author starts with an 'A' and I think her name with a 'J'. I can't even remember ONE of the titles of her 4, or was it 5, novels, though I see the illustrated front pages clearly with the eye of my mind... The first book was all about the clan, then one was about the wild horses and, of course, mammoth-hunting was part of the story... Oh well, I will remember when I wake up and list them neatly in here. Lol!
Great interview with Grogg! Things certainly haven't change much :)
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Nice to meet you, soccer-world. Thanks for finding this an interesting hub and a funny interview. You are spot on. Interviews today are tough and candidates need to do their homework beforehand. You might want to take a look at "Answers to Interviewing Questions - Part One" and "Part Two."
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Thank you, Alicia for enjoying this 'funny' interview hub as well as the video. Weaving useful job interview advice with humor is one of my favorite things to do.
You are most welcome for the advice as well as the 'entertainment,' m'dear.
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I do like your answer, Lela, "I see myself doing your job because you have moved up to CEO."
But most of the hiring managers I know were not too happy with the 'your job' answer, because they thought the candidate was being either flippant or naive ... or because he or she was an outright sycophant.
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Thank you, Mama Kim, for your kind comments and the Up vote. The pleasure writing this was all mine.
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You are right on target with that remark, Don. One of the best things about being retired is not to have job interviews.
And you are spot on that interviews are rituals to learn if the candidate will fit in with the tribe/company or not. Thank you for the Up and the shared.
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Grogg thanks you, pd, for recognizing that he actually gives really good advice. I thank you, too. You do work in an interesting industry where the sooner you finish your job, the sooner you have to start looking for another one. But it is pleasant to find that you are always in that 'I loved my last job' category. Makes up in a small way for the undertainty.
And so many folks I have worked with in my coaching career actually hated their jobs. A very sad state of affairs.
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Hi, mary. Thanks for the gracious comments and loving the video, too - one of my all-time favorites. It IS nice not to be in the job interviewing mode any longer. From either side of the desk!
Hey Martie, Are you referring to "The Clan of the Cave Bear" by author, Jean M. Auel?
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Hi, Amy. So you recognized the interviewing tactics? Then I'm certain you had your share of (?) lovely interviews. And unfortunately, Grogg's views on female applicants was one I encountered much too often in my salad days.
Thank you for your laughter while reading this hub - providing a dose of laughter is my favorite medication. (Next to chocolate, that is.)
And "keeping your spear handy. Just in case" is practical advice these days. Thank you for your sublime comments: 'Pure, comedic genius' is one I will treasure. Thank you for making the trip and hitting all the buttons, m'luv.
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Hi, Ruby, Thanks for lol all the way through the interview and loving the cartoons and the video, too.
Yes, women's work hasn't changed that much in thousands of years - we just have more appliances to help us do it.
Love being 'the master interviewer' - come back any time, m'dear.
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Hi, Sally, so nice to have you visit. Delighted that my special touch makes the interview process less intimidating. Just follow Grogg's wise advice and you will win him over as well as any hiring managers you encounter. Happy you loved the video. It IS a funny one. Thank you for the useful, funny and Up m'dear.
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Actually, Martie, Grogg did have difficulty with the 'Gr.' But I taught him to growl, Grrr, and then add his given name, Ogg. Delighted you enjoyed the interview, smiling all the way, and the hilarious video.
I believe that the author you are referring to is Jean Auel and she wrote a wonderful series of books for children. The first as I recall was "The Clan of the Cave Bear." Subsequent best sellers were "Valley of the Horses," "Mammoth Hunters," and "Land of Painted Caves." I read only two which were fascinating: the Cave Bear book and the Mammoth Hunters book.
Thanks for the visit and you are on the mark - things certainly haven't change much.
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Hi, Amy, Thanks for returning to help out. Yes, I believe the Auel book was the one Martie was referring to. Did you read it, too?
drbj, I have them all and they are great books. I have read them three or four times over the years.
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Thanks for the update, Becky. The 'Clan of the Cave Bear' is one of my all-time favorites.
I laughed at the answers -- so funny. Thanks for the share on this one, it made my day.
You are such a clever and funny girl! Loved it! And thank you for fitting me in with that novel writing bit, but Tyrannosaurus Rex and Mother-in-Law? Brilliant! ;-))))
Thank you drbj and Amy, for refreshing my memory. You know my brain is currently full of mice nest. I feel like reading all those books again. They were fascinating, as if I were living in those caves, smartly dressed in pieces made of mammoth's skins. I doubt the truth of this, but I've read somewhere that those animal skins were chewed by women until they were thoroughly cured ? Please, drbj, when you do an interview with Growling Grogg's wife, or maybe with Wilma Flintstone, just ask her how they'd cured those skins.
Hi drbj!
I wish I had heard the "where do you see yourself in 5 years" question many years ago (around the time when your interviewee was still swinging his spear) when it was asked of me at the end of an interview. I was completely floored, I had not thought any further ahead than just getting the job. I actually did get that job, because this was one of several interviews for it, but I know I didn't make a good impression. Great hub!
As always I thoroughly enjoy your interviews and this one didn't disappoint. Loved his reply to your question on female applicants and your response haha. The video was a hoot
Thanks for the laughs Doc
DRBJ -- This is not only hilarious but practical! You're a smoothie, getting all that good advise delivered on a funny bone!
(I have to wonder how similar the job interview, interviewers and job applicants really are to what transpires in many personnel and VP offices!)
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Any time, teaches, I can make your day with my funny hub, that makes MY day! Thanks for visiting, laughing and sharing, m'dear.
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So nice to hear from you, Dimi. Thanks for the gracious comments and loving this, especially the 'brilliant' TRex/mother-in-law bit. Hope you didn't mind my posting a bit of your new novel on the cave man's wall. The more exposure, the merrier - right?
WOW!!!! As always drbj, you brought a loud laughter in me. Hilarious! I love the cartoons, the funny video and the man with a broken stone CV. Thanks for sharing.
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You are most welcome, Martie. I added Auel's first book above because children will enjoy it as much as adults.
I have also heard of animal skins being chewed to soften them but believe that may be a non-urban myth. My source, Pocahontas, assures me that early American Indian women stretched the hides on the ground and then used a sharp knife to scrape off every single particle of hair and flesh. Grogg's female counterpart may have used a strong sharp bone. Just sayin'.
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How nice to meet you, nettraveller, especially since you may be almost as old as soil ... as I am. Thanks for sharing your amazing reaction to the '5 years' interviewing question. I'm not surprised since so many folks do less preparation for an interview than they do for dressing for a special event.
Also not surprised that you won that job due no doubt to your superior intelligence and presentation. Thanks for the visit and the interesting comments.
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Hi, Rosemary, delighted that this interview did not disappoint and that you loved the 'female candidates message.' The 'debbil' made me do it.
That video was a hoot, wasn't it? And you are so welcome for any and all laughs provided.
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Thank you, Nellieanna, for finding this hilarious as well as practical - my favorite method to deliver memorable information.
Wonder no longer, m'dear, about the similarity to real life in the corporate world. That is precisely where my interviewing advice comes from. HR folks are skilled - most of the time - in asking pertinent questions. But hiring managers, whether supervisors or senior executives, often do NOT have a clue and too often ask the wrong, or even worse, the most inappropriate questions. My job for a quarter of a century was to show them the way!
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Delighted, Thelma, to bring you loud laughter at no charge whatsoever. Happy you found this hilarious and also loved the cartoons and the video (me, too). Now go forth and share! :)
Love the hub. The video was verey funny and people can learn a few things about getting a job. Great Job.
Thank you!
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Hi, Joe, great as always to see you here, m'dear. Delighted you loved this hub and the video. Happy you agree that folks might learn a few things here. Thank YOU!
Personality dynamics and "Your job" are universal no-no's for an aspiring employee to write on the application or mention during the interview process it would seem. Drbj, thanks for doing this interview with Grogg, he appears to be a really cool guy; and if you see him again please ask if one of his relatives was Trog in Joan Crawford's last movie, okay? Up, Awe, and definitely interesting drbj!
Hi drbj - once again you've made me laugh - what a great way to start the day! The last one, about women not working was hilarious and the TV interview was great.
I loved Clan of the Cave Bear - neolithic people are fascinating (I guess) and I'd love to see something more of this type of thing. I think I read the second book but lost interest by the third.
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Yes, Alastar, Grogg is really cool especially for a guy who never finished college. Well, actually there was no college so it's not his fault.
Do appreciate your visit and the references to the answers: 'your job' and 'personality dynamics,' which are, as you point out, too often used with negative effect.
Regarding Trog in the movie of the same name from the 70s - OMG, how did you remember that? - Grogg would like to take credit for being related to the actor who played Trog, but alas he was from a different tribe and changed his name from Trogg to Trog. In real life, he was actor Joe Cornelius.
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So happy, Dolores, that once again I made you laugh, and that you found women not working hilarious and enjoyed the TV interview.
The book, 'Clan of the Cave Bear,' was excellent so I can understand that you enjoyed it. Thanks for dropping by, m'luv.
Ah, the elixir-like joy of corresponding with another connoisseur of bad B-movie trivia minutia! Can you believe Joe's listed last in the cast credits on the IMDb movie site! Is there no justice left in the world,drbj?!
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As fellow 'intellectuals,' Alastar, you and I can enjoy the 'subtle nuances' of B-flick trivia more than the hoi polloi. Imagine! Joe was the star of "Trog" and he received cellar listing. Justice? What's that?
Very original and funny Hub! I love the way you think outside the box and the unique spin you put on various topics. Keep writing & sharing.
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Thank you, GClark, I love the way you comment. Thinking outside the box and spinning topics uniquely are my favorite pursuits, so I will endeavor to keep writing and sharing forevermore ... or longer.
Wow, things haven't changed, have they? I suppose such interviews work to a certain degree, but I've had too many co-workers who said they could work any hours, then once they were hired that changed immediately. And they didn't bother to call in when they decided to take a day off. I could go on - but the point is, they lied throughout their interview. I suppose that's always been, too.
...another classic in your legendary 'interview' series .....and will be respectfully posted to my FB group Let's just talk music or cinema - and yes I will be your oldest fan ever to read you - because your writing will always rock my world until the end of time - sending you warm wishes and good energy from lake erie time ontario canada 10:28am
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Like I said, sheila, some things never change. I'm not surprised to learn that you have been disappointed more than once by co-workers who didn't follow through on promises made.
In my experience, workers years ago were more dependable because they believed in earning their pay and earning respect. Today it appears that many believe they are entitled to be paid just because they show up.
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You always say the nicest things, Colin, and it is my pleasure to have you follow my 'legendary' hubs and share them with your FB followers. You deserve the title of Hubpages poet laureate, my friend. Here's to rocking each other's world for all time.
I am an expert on Mammoth meat! Meat Matters you know! LOL Maybe you could hook me up with that guy if there is an opening? I know just what to say now!
LOL - up and hilarious with coffee!
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You know, Kelly, somehow I already knew you were a memorable, matchless, mammoth meat maven. But I don't think you would want to hang out with Grogg and his gang for long - they have some very primitive ideas about women. On the other hand . . .
Thanks for the visit, m'dear.
A very funny hub. I love the idea and it is very well written. I could only imagine an interview with Grogg. Loved the cartoons that you included as well as the many many funny lines in the interview. Voted up and awesome.
I also was checking out your profile...very well done as well. I see you are holding out when it comes to the new profile page.....that is me as well....united we stand....lol.
A brilliant hub and here's to so many more to come.
Eddy.
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Thank you for your gracious comments and the button-pushing, Cogerson, it's a pleasure to have you visit here. Yes, I'm with you ... so far ... regarding the new profile page. Have to be convinced to change, y'know. :)
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Hi, eddy, nice to have you back, m'dear - you have been missed. Thanks for the 'brilliant' - you ARE preceptive!
Great video. Thank you for sharing. It really improved my mood.
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Nice to meet you, Silwen. Delighted I have improved your mood. That video is one of my favorites, too. For more of Grogg and his colleagues, see: "Interview with World's Oldest Speech Writer."
Long time no see, drbj - I've been hibernating! So interesting to see that nothing's changed, not only while I've been asleep, but since long, long before that! :)
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You got that right, Feline, m'dear. Humans may have changed but most of them still need to grow up. Nice to have you back. Was your cave cozy? Do hope you had indoor plumbing. :)
Wow, I am late for the party but am so glad to be here now, drbj.
I love your approach of weaving wisdom into humor. From the comments, I will enjoy exploring this series and much more of your work.
And here I thought this guy only sold car insurance...who knew?
Voted UP and across the board. Thanks for the smile!
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You could never be late to my party, Maria. Delighted to have you here and I will vicariously enjoy your enjoyment of any of my hubs. As well as your creative comments.
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Really a useful and informative post.. Thank You Very Much
This was the second of your interviews I've hunted down and its another Hub that spearheaded the topic withhumor and poingnency. Voted up and across the board.
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Thank you very much, Programminghub, for your visit. Delighted you found this useful and informative.
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So happy you found this, Mitch. Thanks for the 'humor and poignancy' comment. And for the Up and across the board. You are my favorite kind of commenter!
I love your interviews. They always make me laugh. Up, funny, and interesting.
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Ah, knowing that my interviews can always make you laugh, KK, always makes my day. Trust me. Thanks for the Up and etc.
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