- Business and Employment
My Dog Hates Me, I Lost My Internet Fortune and I Still Make Money on the Internet
It's Joe again. If you don't remember me, you should read this first. I'll wait...
It's been a tough time for me since I last wrote to you. As you may remember, I stumbled on a simple way to Make Money Online By Doing Very Little Work. My wife and I got back together and life was good.
THEN IT ALL WENT BAD
I couldn't handle the success. I invested in a chinchilla farm in Nigeria. Man, that turned out to be a disaster. Who knew that chinchillas could overheat so easily? Anyway, I lost everything. My wife started dating her divorce lawyer again. We were back to eating Ramen noodles for breakfast again. The Mercedes were repossessed, although that was kind of cool because we were on a reality TV show when the guys drove up in the tow truck. I was so glad to have Tivo.
WE HIT ROCK BOTTOM
We lost everything, except the DVD of the Mercedes getting repossessed. I hid that behind the toilet when the furniture re-possessors came to get the conversation pit. We had nothing in the refrigerator except the little packages of dipping sauce that come with Pizza Hut bread sticks.
Don't Feel Sorry for Me
Don't pity me. I made it the top of the mountain. I was more successful than all those other unsuccessful people who try to find ways to Get Rich Fast On The Internet. We had a long way to fall and we landed on our face, but it's all good. On the way down we got a face full of all the pain and suffering that would make us better people in the long run.
We have come out of this painful experience much stronger and more experienced. We now understand the finer points of Interstate Postal Fraud regulations. The nuances of RICO laws have become crystal clear to us. Every time we stumbled and fell, we grew another scab that became a scar on our veneer of toughness.
I'd also like to think I've become a better writer.
WHY SHOULD YOU CARE?
I am writing to you now to tell you about our new success. With all the pain and suffering my wife and I have endured we now want to share with you our latest positive story.
I have had a lot of time to think, what with the Tivo box being repossessed by Best Buy and the satellite TV being turned off. I thought about different ways to prepare Ramen noodles, but I soon realized that the Internet is full of Ramen noodle recipes. Those little packets of spices are so delicious that I couldn't hope to improve on them anyway.
So I decided to think about other ways to Build Wealth Online With Little Or No Effort.
LIGHTNING STRUCK TWICE
It happened again. The last time I figured out how to Make Money Online I was watching the View. This time I was scraping the last few spices from the inside of the Ramen noodle spice packet, which was much more intellectually challenging.
Boom. It hit me hard, like the divorce papers my wife slid under the bathroom door. Suddenly it all became clear. I immediately walked to the library and used one of the free computers to try out my new idea.
Wow! We were back in business.
I couldn't wait to tell my friends in Nigeria. Unfortunately their email addresses no longer worked.
So now I'm looking forward to sharing my new found Online Money Making Strategy with you. You can be my new friends. OK?
ARE YOU READY TO MAKE MONEY???
Maybe you doubted me last time. I understand that. Everyone needs to be skeptical when their family fortune is on the line. I learned that the hard way, so I definitely want you to be comfortable when you send me your money to get started. I lost all my money and I had to start over. I don't want that to happen to you. OK?
HERE'S A GREAT OFFER FOR YOU
Just to show you that I am really really honest, you don't have to send me any money.
Send no money!
All I ask is that you send me your credit card number. That's all. I won't withdraw any money, I promise. My Money Making Plan will open your eyes to the magic of Internet Wealth and Riches, so you will be willing to send me full payment after you see how simple the Simple Plan really really is.
Don't Wait. Act Now.
This offer ends tomorrow. I can't accept more than the first 100 applicants because my mailbox is really small and more mail just won't fit into it. I need to rebuild my relationship with my dog; he's still annoyed over the first fortune I lost. Maybe he doesn't like chinchillas.
Anyway, I simply don't have a lot of time so spend on too many affiliates. My Incredibly Simple Online Money Making System is keeping me busy at least 1 hour a day. The dog wants to go for a walk and the ramen noodles are boiling over. Please respond now.