- Personal Finance
My Dog Hates Me and I Still Make Money Online
My name is Joe. I'm an average guy. I barely graduated high school, I've worked a string of dead-end jobs, I've run up a mountain of credit card bills. I don't use big words when I write.
MY LIFE WAS A MESS
Not too long ago I was near rock bottom. My dog hated me. My wife was threatening to leave me for an illegal immigrant with one eye and a limp; she told me he had better prospects than I. I was reasonably sure that nothing could get any worse.
Suddenly That All Changed Recently
One day I was sitting on the only chair in our apartment, watching The View. Suddenly it hit me:
I CAN GET RICH ONLINE
It was so simple. Thank goodness it was so simple because I wanted to write it down but we couldn't afford pencils or paper. Anyway, I worked really hard to remember it. All that hard work really paid off.
I was able to come up with a system for Making Money Online. It was so simple that I was able to set it up using dial-up internet service through an Atari 800 computer that our neighbor thew away. Believe it or not, the next day we were due to have our phone service turned off.
At first I wasn't sure if it would work. I went to bed that night without a lot of confidence, but I slept pretty well because my wife and I ate the last packet of ramen noodles in the house. We knew the next day would be tough, with just catsup packets and tap water for breakfast.
The next day I woke up in time to watch The View, but during the commercials I checked my Online Making Money Account.
WOW! IT WAS A MIRACLE!
I had earned more while I was sleeping than I had earned in the last 20 years as a migrant farm worker. I couldn't believe it.
I wanted to show my wife but she insisted on keeping her appointment with her divorce lawyer. After The View was over, I checked my Internet Online Making Money account another time.
MY EARNINGS HAD DOUBLED
This seemed too good to be true. With my simple plan, I was raking in more cash that I'd ever dreamed imaginable. Soon my wife was back in love with me and my dog was following me around the apartment, panting. I think he still hates me, but he hides it very well.
I AM NOW ABLE TO HAVE EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED
My wife and I went to Burger King to celebrate the success of my Getting Rich Online Plan. When we got home, she stopped kissing me long enough to ask me to check our Online Internet Money Making account one more time. Together we fired up the Atari 800 and connected to the Internet.
MY EARNINGS HAD DOUBLED AGAIN!!!
Follow me to Richville
By now we were pretty sure that this system was going to work, since it had been working for over 8 hours. We went out again and celebrated again by purchasing a $120,000 Mercedes. Actually we each bought one! And I gave the salesperson a big tip!
HOW WAS THIS POSSIBLE?
My system is so simple that anyone can do it. I'm a simple average guy. I simply managed to do what no one else in the Internet Online Money Making Plan business has ever been able to do. My plan is so easy that that one day last month I walked past my computer, paused for a moment to tie my shoe, and MY ACCOUNT DOUBLED AGAIN WHILE I WAS BENDING OVER!
YOU NEED TO HEAR ABOUT THIS
I want you all to have this simple plan. I want everyone to have the chance that I, an average simple guy, have. I want to give you my plan so you can be in the online making money on the Internet business.
I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU'RE SERIOUS
Sure, I could just tell you my plan right now. My wife is out shopping and I'm a little bored. The Mercedes is in the shop, having a neon kit installed. It would easy for me to explain step-by-step how I made my Internet Online riches, but I'm not going to do that. I need you to do me one simple favor before I tell you about my system.
SEND ME A FEW BUCKS
Are you really interested? If so, I need you to kick in a few dollars. This money will not go into my bank account. No. All the money I receive will be stored in a federally insured savings account just in case you change your mind. I will never spend your money: never ever. I don't even know the account number. I just give the checks to my wife and she deposits them.
YOU CAN HAVE YOUR MONEY BACK
Yep. If you don't like my plan, if you don't understand my plan, or if your rich uncle dies and leaves you a fortune, you can have your money back from my federally insured savings account. My simple Internet Making Money Online While Sleeping Plan comes to you at no risk. No risk whatsoever. Zero risk.
TAKE A CHANCE ON ME
I just want to help you. I want to see you succeed. Obviously I don't need your money, but send it to me anyway so I know I can trust you. I can trust you, right?
IF YOU'RE NOT SURE -- READ THIS!!!
This morning the Internet called me and told me that my account had doubled AGAIN! I honestly don't know what else I can tell you. Put down that fear and send me your check.
ARE YOU STUPID?
Really? No. You can't be stupid because you've already read this far. You're just cautious. I understand. I was there once. I used to think that none of those Get Rich Working Online Through The Internet Plans could possibly work. As you have already read, I was SO WRONG!
I MAY HAVE TO TAKE BACK THIS OFFER SOON
Please hurry. I am just so busy with my new life that I can't promise that this offer will be here tomorrow. I have a limited number of eBooks; if you wait too long they will all be gone.
NEED MORE PROOF?
OK, OK, I understand. You STILL aren't convinced. That's probably a good thing because this plan isn't for everyone. Some people just don't have the 'stuff' to get rich. The world needs poor people too.
Anyway, here's the absolute positive final proof that I can provide... stand by while I check my account one more time...
IT'S DOUBLED AGAIN!!
What are you waiting for?
Joe Speaks to You, Personally
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HELLO, IT'S ME AGAIN. My name is Joe The Internet Millionaire. I made a fortune by Working Online In My Spare Time.
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It's me again. My name is Joe, although since I became An Internet Millionaire I prefer to be called Joseph. Joseph is more sophisticated.