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The Five Best Things About Working At A Desk

Updated on January 13, 2015

The Myth

I've heard it, you've heard it, everyone says it, and everyone knows it.

"Working at a desk is boooooring...! I could be outside, or at least be active! I could be going places and doing things! But instead I'm cooped up here at my desk, watching my clock, and wishing 5:00 would just get itself here already!"


NO! In fact, the truth is quite a different story!

Here are ten humorous ways to look at your otherwise "boring" 9-5 desk job. I dare you not to agree with at least one...

Only 4 more days till payday...
Only 4 more days till payday...

1.) You Are A Human Calendar

Have you ever noticed that when someone asks aloud - to no one in particular - "What's the date?", you're the one to always answer?

The Upside: You'll never be late on your bills, your lotto ticket checking, or your daily pill.

The Downside: You inadvertently implant yourself into perfect strangers' conversations, and don't have a way to get out...

  • Stranger (said while filling out a cheque): "What's the date today?"
  • You (said very enthusiastically): "It's Friday, the 13th!...(and then not so enthusiastically)... Um...yeah, Yikes, right? Unlucky...ummm..."

NO! Get out of town!
NO! Get out of town!

2.) You Have the 411 on Everyone

You see all and know all that goes on in the office. You are gossip central. As soon as Darcy found out she was pregnant, so did the rest of the company, via you. You're always up to date on the workplace tabloid.

The Upside: You always know what to expect. You're never blind-sided by a pay cut, or your boss' haircut. You are always prepared.

The Downside: You know everyone, but nobody knows you. People avoid you, because they are afraid you'll give away all their dark secrets...That is to say, you probably don't have many friends.


3.) You Are Invincible

You have the thickest skin around. Having to put up with at least 34 varieties of verbal abuse on any given work day has made you immune to even the worst of insults. You let things pass so quickly, that it's as if they were never there in the first place.

The Upside: You've stuck around in your dead-end job, even though everyone else has quit. Little things don't bother you as much as they bother the next person. You are cheery, even during the darkest hours.

The Downside: You are callused to so much, that sometimes you forget the difference between insults and compliments. Your boss treats you like crap, because you don't seem to notice anyways...

We run the world...we run the world...
We run the world...we run the world...

4.) You Are a Music Buff

You know every single song that plays on the radio on any given channel.

The Upside: You continually have a song in your heart. You are trendy and up-to-date with the latest popular tunes.

The Downside: You sing said songs aloud at the most inconvenience times, such as at your little sister's batmitzvah or at your grandfather's funeral: ("Never mind, I'll find someone like yooooooou!!!")

Come, come, me follow...
Come, come, me follow...

5.) You Are A Top-Notch Translator

You have to decipher about 560 volumes of sound bytes speeding their ways along the telephone lines every hour or so, and have thus become an avid translator of accents and sometimes whole other languages:

  • Caller: "Alo, bing to see, can we?"
  • You: "Absolutely, which property?"
  • Caller: "Sirty-peben Field abenew ease tunit fourwen."
  • You: "And when would you like to go?"
  • Caller: "Tis garevten gyiole now?"
  • You: "Wonderful, we'll give you a call!"

The Upside: You have so many multicultural friends from all walks of life who tell you that you are the best listener they've ever known, and that it feels like they've always known you

The Downside: You have no idea who any of the above people are. And, you can't put it on your resume.

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