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900 Followers - Congratulations to you

Updated on June 23, 2013
Yay you. And me.
Yay you. And me.

You have good taste

In between luscious Chipotle burritos I noticed that my follower count exceeded 900. Should you find yourself a member of that exclusive group, congratulations.

Your decision to follow me improves the quality of your life. I'd like to reward you with valuable cash and prizes, but HubPages enforces strict regulations against payola, unlike Congress. Reading my writing certainly should serve are sufficient reward.

You might ask yourself, and you'd certainly be justified in doing so, where do we go from here? How can nicomp (me) maintain this torrid pace? What will he/she do next? How many uniquely quirky series of seemingly related Hubs are left to be discovered?

The answer is: I don't know. It's not as if I have all this stuff planned out in a SQL Server database or a Barbie Day Planner. It just kind-of pops out of my head on a semi-regular basis. Amazing, I know.

We travel together on this journey of composition, exposition, and juxtaposition. Hang on for the ride. Look forward to ever-increasing subtle volumes of genius emanating from my fingertips into your eyeballs via the Internet. I also plan to vary my sentence length.

The stages of HubPages smackdown.
The stages of HubPages smackdown.

A Writer Looks at 892

As you read this, my hub count stands at 891, many of which are actually available to Google for prompt and efficient indexing. Unfortunately the HubLords deigned to implement objectively arbitrary ranking circles intended to hide ostensibly yucky stuff from the search engines. Adjectives make writing good.

A solid black dot indicates extreme affection for the hub. HubPages has decided that Google may have permission to crawl the content and add it to the collective. You've got a fighting chance of appearing in the Top 10 results for a highly sought-after keyword such as 'cat' or 'turlingdrome.' It could happen.

A half-moon image assigns your writing to the ragged edge between Google and nothingness. You're teetering. Add a few more word-laden paragraphs and things just might work out in your favor. Pop in a properly cited image or a poll or an embedded video: good things could happen.

Look not unto the empty black circle: your writing has been desecrated into the ashcan of digital dribbling. Life continues, but just barely. You and your parents and your Facebook friends know you wrote something, but the other 99.99999% of the Internet will never see it. Your words could offer impetus for world peace, but oh, well.


I grew up with Cherry Accolade. Mom made it all the time.
I grew up with Cherry Accolade. Mom made it all the time.
You are here, if you live in Coolville and you're home now.
You are here, if you live in Coolville and you're home now.

Don't let me slip back

Conceivably I could wake up this afternoon with less than 900 followers. Possible, it is, that one of you might read my dissertation on health care as a human right and decide to unfollow me. HubPages still lets you do that. Following a Hubber has not yet been deemed binding.

I don't want to lose you. This would be a very bad thing. I can't afford to fall below 900, for obvious reasons. It's a number that's both even and also divisible by three. It can be factored by 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10, 12, 15, 18, 20, 25, 30, 36, 45, 50, 60, 75, 90, 100 ,150, 180, 225, 300, 450, and 900. It's a common frequency band for cordless telephones. You can understand my concern.

Resist urges to unfollow me. It's a lot of effort and it won't benefit either of us. You posses unlimited amounts of follows: I only want one. You won't miss it.

Even if you loathed my innovative series on the Little Town of Coolville, OH, please stick with me. Admittedly the Pomegranate publications were ill-conceived, but, like the Democratic Party, I really meant well.

Almost 700 words: stay with me:

Please, stick with me. I want to write stuff for you. Join me on my journey to properly deploy strategic gerunds and expertly avoid dangling participles. Revel in my discoveries of online thesauri and rhyming dictionaries. Suffer with me as I hone my craft with action verbs and proper tenses. It can only get better.

Leave comments if you wanna. I read them all and I comment back at you. Speak to me about grammatical errors, factual anomalies, and suspicious content that may have originated in a country where the electricity shuts off at sundown. I need your help and I covet your following.

A poll... even though it doesn't increase the word count

nicomp, I will continue to follow you...

See results

Comments

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    • fivesenses profile image

      Leena 

      5 years ago from new delhi

      Enjoyed reading this hub .

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      I'm jealous of both of you. And the NSA.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      You guys is just jealous of my superior syntax - the latest tax, BTW, that the IRS plans to implement. And for your information, the NSA does use tin cans and string.

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      Austinstar: we all noticed, but no one wanted to say anything.

    • Austinstar profile image

      Lela 

      6 years ago from Somewhere near the heart of Texas

      I've noticed that.

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      Austinstar, drbj lives in the Internet on a massively parallel Beowulf cluster monitoring HubPages traffic in real time. It makes the NSA look like tin cans and string.

    • Austinstar profile image

      Lela 

      6 years ago from Somewhere near the heart of Texas

      drbj beats me to every comment cell! I suspect some sort of virus in her machine.

      Otherwise, let's keep on trudging along, shall we?

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      drbj: gerunds are cute, although biting the hand that feeds them is always a risk. Thanks for writing on my hub!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      Congratulations, nicomp! I fervently hope that one day when I grow up, I will be half as good a writer as youse. BTW, is a gerund one of those little pets like a hamster? Just wonderin'.

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      soconfident: Well said.

    • soconfident profile image

      Derrick Bennett 

      6 years ago

      Great hub

    working

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