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Collection of the Funniest Requests Made On HubPages: Part II

Updated on May 2, 2016
Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna is a writer who wears many other hats and has a wealth of experience that she draws from, sometimes funny, sometimes serious.

Round Two

I loved answering this request so much, that I thought a second shot at it was in order. I have spent hours searching through the numerous, and sometimes, tedious requests made by members of the HubPages community, looking for some of the stupidest and funniest requests I could find.

I hope this is a worthy follow-up to my first attempt, and ProfoundPun's original response to the request. Or, at the very least, I hope you find it mildly amusing. I feel these are better than the first batch I found, but what do I know? I am honestly surprised that some of these were missed the first time around. I guess I just need to pay better attention.

Another Dose of Amusement

Emote happiness in 25 or more sentences.:

Really?? Didn't you get it from the fear one I did last time?? All right...if that's what you want...

I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I feel happy!! I really do feel happy!!!

Happiness is a warm gun...creepy clowns don't fill me with happiness...
Happiness is a warm gun...creepy clowns don't fill me with happiness...

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy

How to jimmy a car door:

While I feel this may be offensive to one of our own esteemed Hubbers, jimmythejock, I feel this does need to be addressed. Personally, I think you should be ashamed of yourself, and you owe him an apology!! Such discrimination will not be tolerated! Besides, jimmying a car door is illegal!! I will not support spreading of knowledge of illegal activity!! (For tips on how to jimmy a car door, call 555-7766, and ask for Lenny. Tell him I sent you.)

Has there ever been a bastard President? and, does it matter?

What exactly is your definition here?? Bill Clinton could conceivably be called a bastard for cheating on his wife with Monica Lewinsky, or in light of extenuating circumstances (being married to Hilary), it may be excusable. Nixon was a crook, and possible a bastard. I am sure I could go on and on, and name the names of many former Presidents, and some of their more bastard-like behavior. But if, by bastard, you mean the more repressed, outdated definition, I have no idea, and neither do I care. Why do you care?? What kind of person are you?

Bastard??  You decide...
Bastard?? You decide...

There is a guy named Trenton who likes me, but I don't like him back. He asked me to be his GF, and I haven't answered yet? What do I do? Help!

This was posted 14 months ago. If you still haven't answered him by this point, I would assume that he has figured it out by now. If not, you may have other problems on your hand. Please seek the advice of your local police department on how to deal with a stalker. And, why the question at the end of "He asked me to be his GF, and I haven't answered yet?" Are you unsure whether you have answered him yet?? If this is the case, seek the advice of a mental health professional. The obvious answer would be to tell him no, since you said you didn't like him, but do what you want. Why are you asking me? I don't even know you, or Trenton.

Maybe we should get Trenton in touch with Taylor Swift...she dates everybody
Maybe we should get Trenton in touch with Taylor Swift...she dates everybody

Let's Get Married

I am sorry. I do love you, in my own way, but you really aren't my type. Besides, I am in a committed relationship right now, and I am very happy. I am very flattered that you think of me in this way, really I am. I don't know what to say. I know there is someone out there for you, and I know you will find him/her soon, if you just keep looking. I hope we can still be friends?

Why does the letter L not come after or before the letter O in the English alphabet?

Wait a doesn't come before or after?? So where does that L go?? Does it just float above the other letters in the alphabet like a mysterious god? I always thought that L came before O in the alphabet. That's what I was taught as a kid. A, B, C, D, E, F, G...H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P...and so on. Was I wrong all this time? I should go back to kindergarten and do some research. I will get back to you on this one.

Classic Sesame Street

Can you write article for me discussing about delaying tactics in workplace...

I would write article, but have meeting. Will get to you as soon as can. Promise I'll have on your desk by end of work week. I swear I sent off to copy department, or maybe on secretary's desk. My dog ate it. Can you call back in hour? I will check status on report after lunch.

Hmmm...I should get this...but not right now

I will be start now:

Ummm...ok...ummm...I don't know what to say. Should I be happy for this person? What are they starting? What are you requesting? Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Ummm...I will be lie down now. I will be confuse now.

© 2009 Anna Marie Bowman


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