Collection of the Funniest Requests Made on HubPages IV

It has been quite a while since I have written one of these. They were a lot of fun to write, and for some of you, a lot of fun to read. I thought it was about time that I took another crack at it and wrote another Hub on some of the funny, and sometimes, seemingly stupid, requests that have come through here. Some of these just struck me as funny, while others just made no sense at all. I had a lot of fun going through the pages, and pages, of requests to find some really good ones. I hope that they are as much fun for you to read, as they were for me to write.

Like always, I have included my own witty, and completely sarcastic responses to these various requests. I think it makes them all the more fun. After all, even these requests deserve to be answered. Even if they are only answered on here. I hope no one is offended. That has never been my intention with any of this. This is all in fun, and I know if I had posted any of these, and someone responded in the way I am, I would laugh at myself.

Help with this question please:

Well, that really isn't a question, now is it?. I appreciate your plea for help. I really do. What is the question? I would love to help you, but since you offer no indication as to what help you need, there is very little I can do. I would say 'I hope this helps', but I can't imagine how it really would.

What is the best time to perform aggro horticulture?:

What exactly is aggro horticulture? It sounds like someone is just getting really angry at plants. Why are you so angry with plants? What did they ever do to you? They provide you with life-giving oxygen, food, shelter, and many, many other things. So, why are you so interested in being angry at plants? I don't think there really is a good time for aggro horticulture. You should be ashamed of yourself...

Are you an earthworm worker?:

Ummm...what? I am a little confused here. Are you asking if I work with earthworms? Or, are you asking if I am an earthworm with a job? I have only ever used earthworms for one thing; fishing. I don't know if that makes me an earthworm worker or not. I am not an earthworm, though. That, I am sure of. That would make this whole typing thing really difficult. I am not really even a fan of earthworms. They are kind of icky. I can't think of a better word than that. So, to answer your question...I guess either way, the answer is no.

Would you like to know how a Vietnamese guy can sing in Spanish?:

Well, I imagine it is like anyone singing in another language. Am I wrong? Is there something else to it? I really don't get it. I have sang in Spanish, German, Latin and a few other languages. I don't speak those languages. Yet, I can sing in those languages. It doesn't seem like it would make sense. I also don't understand where you were going with this request. Why not just write a hub about it? I am glad you can sing in Spanish. Yay for you??? I don't know what you want, here...

I have a lot of pokémon legendarys ho many do do you have?:

I have none, though I don't really know what you are talking about. Maybe you should spend less time collecting pokémon cards and spend more time learning how to spell. How old are you, anyway? Weren't pokémon cards a huge fad in the nineties with little kids? I didn't know anyone still collected those things. So, either you are a little kid who is just a little behind on the times, or got handed these things by an older brother, or something, or you are a grown adult. If you are a kid, sorry. If you are an adult, well, that is just sad, not only that you collect pokémon cards, but also that you obviously don't know how to spell, and if that is the case, I revert to my original statement...

What is a lean machine?:

I have no idea. I have heard the phrase used a lot. Mostly in reference to fighters, IE. "He's a lean, mean, fighting machine." Is that what you were after? Is that what you wanted to know? Maybe it's just a skinny machine, like a really small toaster, or a little, skinny blender. I don't really know. Oh, I know!!! It's the George Foreman Grill!!! HA!!! There you go, that is your answer!!! Got to love George Foreman! That guy is great! Shameless self-promotion at it's best. He even named all his kids after himself. That is just too much.

Do you wait until you are told before celebrating the relationship with your mother.:

Well, I can't really answer this question. I don't exactly know what you are talking about here. Why would you need to wait to be told? Do you mean wait to be told about the relationship, or do you mean wait until you are told to celebrate? Are you celebrating your relationship with your mother, or celebrating with your mother about another relationship? Why do you have to wait to be told before you can celebrate? No, you may not celebrate! You must wait until I tell you that you can!!

I'm assuming you will never respond to this, but do you not like Radiohead or something?:

Well, I am responding to this!! So, there!! HA! And in regards to Radiohead, I do like them. I like them very much. Creep is one of my favorite songs. My only question is, why do you care if I like Radiohead or not? You seem awfully upset about the thought of someone not liking Radiohead. I agree, they are great, but are they really worth getting all upset about? It's not like they are The Beatles, or something. Great, now I want to listen to Radiohead...time to break out my old cassette player. LOL!

Light oder coming from my campers ac:

Can you describe the 'oder', as you put it? Is it a bad smell, or just a light fragrance? Did you check outside the camper to see if the 'oder' was being pulled in from somewhere outside? How many campers do you have?? Is it just one? Or do you have many with the same problem? My guess, the 'oder' is called fresh air. Most people are not familiar with this scent due to the fact that we spend most of our time in tiny, little cubicles, in stores, offices, airports, and various other air-controlled buildings. Fresh air can be a strange, and confusing 'oder' the first time you smell it. I promise, though, it won't hurt you.

Delete my account:

Ummm...while I completely understand this request. That doesn't happen often. I still can't help you. I cannot delete your account for you. Of course, if you give me your email address, all your passwords, your bank account information, and your mother's maiden name, I will be sure to delete your account for you. I'll get to it right after I change all your passwords, get a few credit cards in your name, and clean out you bank account. Delete your own account.

Not quite a question.:

No, it is not even remotely a question. 'Not quite a question' would imply that it is somewhat like a question. Like those statements made when you are not sure of yourself, or the response you are giving, and it comes out sounding like a question. No, this is nothing like a question. In fact, it is a statement. A statement is not a question. Did you have a question? See, that was a question. Notice the wording and the appropriate punctuation at the end. To be honest, what you wrote isn't even a complete sentence, let alone a question. As with 'Jeopardy!' please be sure to formulate your response in the form of a question.

Who is the best?:

So interesting of you to ask...if only I knew. At least this is actually a question. Not a very clear question, but still a proper question. I don't know. I really don't. I could be incredibly narcissistic and say that I am the best, but that wouldn't be true...I don't think. Best at what? Writing? Fencing? Sticking quarters in their bellybutton? And, yes, I saw someone do that...Tosh.0 is a terribly funny show. There we go...you asked who is the best? I am going to go with Daniel Tosh. I hope that answers your question.

The word join by u l d n v h s e:

What word is that? Is this some sort of strange code that I just don't understand? Or is there a word that contains all these letters? I don't really know what you want to know. Again, make sure to phrase it in the form of a question. Though, in this case, I don't think that would really help me at all. I keep looking at the letters, trying to put them in some sort of order that makes sense. Is this like Boggle? See how many words you can make from the letters? Let's see...hen, hens, send, led, lend, lends...so far so good. Let me know if I was even close on this one.

What is the romantic definition of your rose turning crispy after a while receiving it?:

I hate to be the one to break this to you, but there is no romantic definition for that. The rose is dead, and it is starting to decay. I know that may not be very romantic, but it is the truth. You cut a rose from it's bush, and it is dead. It is getting no nutrients, and it slowly starts to decay. They dry out. If you want, I can attempt to put a romantic spin on it, but it will be ultimately depressing, so I would rather not. If you want to try to find your own romantic meaning behind a flower dying, go right ahead.