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Tramps Like Us, Baby We Were Born to Hub: My First 30 Days on HubPages, Plus the 10 Days Prior to Joining, so Really 40
In the Beginning . . .
Forty days ago I had never heard of HubPages.
I guess that's better than saying, "Forty days ago I didn't know it was going to rain. Nonstop. For forty days. And forty nights. Come on Noah, I was just kidding brotherman when I went around the neighborhood telling everyone you'd lost it. My bad. I know it's crowded up there but how about a towel, man, can you spare a towel?
And to tell you the truth, I have no idea how I stumbled upon HubPages. Perhaps while stumbling through Stumbleupon, as I often find myself doing with all the spare time that I have. I'll bet you have tons of spare time too, right? Who doesn't have all the time in the world to do whatever they feel like doing. What a splendid plane of limited time and way too many things to do it is that we all occupy.
Dr. Evil and His Cat, With Border, c.2011
On the Third Day, God Created HubPages . . .
How is it possible that I had never heard of one of the top 50 most-visited sites in the world? Well, our world, that is.
A site where 200,000+ hubbers have published over one million hubs (cue Dr. Evil petting the kitty in his lap with his left hand while raising his right pinkie to his lips, "One meeeeelion dollars . . . err . .. hubs"), resulting in over 90 million page views for the month of December 2010 alone.
How is it possible? And what's with all this Hub lingo . . . did you just say hubnugget? Can I supersize that? I am an American, you see, and so I do like my things big.
For that matter, what is a hub, and these hubbers, what's their deal, hubnobbing around one another's hubs all the time, commenting appreciatively on them, offering advice freely in the forums to newbie hubbers, or, as I like to refer to them (me), nubbers.
It all feels like some sort of big Kumbayah Hubfest . . . like Janice Joplin, Jimi, and CSNY are going to come out on stage any second and break into Piece of My Heart.
A bit hubnoxious, if you ask me, I mean, what hubris. All this kinship is freaking me out a bit -- is this the Church of Hubatology? Is there going to be some alien yet mesmerizingly attractive hubber selling copies of Hubanetics on my way out the door? Is Paul Edmondson, the founder and CEO of Hubpages, in fact, the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard?
Oh my God, get me out of this place.
And yet . . .
Everytime I Try to Get Out, They Pull Me Back In
I was drawn in, mesmerized, hypnotized, hubafied, by something, something, but . . . what . ..
I know it's not that I was looking for a hubby, because, well, that's just something that I know.
I know it's not that I was looking through the Hubble telescope and I spied HubPages calling me from a distant galaxy far, far away.
And I know it's not the fact that HubPages is the 50th most-visited site in our world that is drawing me back for more. I mean, what's so great about being 50th anyway?? Do you think Michael Phelps would ever have made it onto a Wheaties box if he had come in 50th?
No, it's . . . wait a minute, my browser is frozen, stuck, on . . . HubPages . . . that's it, that's why I keep coming back.
My Fellow Hubbers, We Are Gathered Here Today . . .
Okay, on a serious side, I could write about how much Adsense $$ I made in my first 30 days on HubPages, how many page views my hubs saw, how much help I got from other hubbers and their hubs, etc.
These are all very important pieces of information for prospective and new hubbers. But there are already some very high-quality hubbers' hubs talking about their first 30 day's statistics and experiences, so I feel I would really have nothing new to add to that conversation.
Instead, I have written a song which I present to all hubbers for your terrific answers in the forums, your great comments on my and other people's hubs, the valuable tips that you give, and the awesome hubs that you write.
Many thanks, and happy hubbing to all.
That's my Hub, and I'm sticking to it.
Please give to the church on your way out.
And don't forget your raincoat. Noah's calling for rain.
Bruce Springsteen: Born to Run
Born to Hub
In the day we sweat it out in the seats of a runaway Internet dream
At night we type through delusions of grandeur on mega-gig machines
Sprung from garages out on highway con, (silicon, that is)
Dual-core, dual processed and a flatscreen LCD that's lookin' fine
Baby this broadband rips through the capsule packs
It's pay per click, it's not get rich quick
Let's go shark free WiFi at the pub
`cause tramps like us, baby we were born to hub.
TrendyHubGirl34 let me in I wanna be your fan
I want to comment on your hubs with your minions
Just click your mouse on that approval button
And then read my hub about "search engines"
Together we could break this trap
We'll hub till we drop, baby we'll never go back
Will you write with me about "forest fires"
Oh no, that doesn't make good adsense we need to go higher
Maybe we should try, "cheap healthy meals"
I want to know if its optimized, girl I want to know if this hub is ideal.
Beyond the hub palace seo-optimized clones climb up through the Google rank yard
The girls run their keywords through PageRank checkers
And the boys think that Bing's too far
The content mills have prose cold and stark
The democratizing 'Net will sort through the grist
I wanna write with you TrendyHubGirl34 on the Web tonight
Should we tag it 'kiss tickets' or 'tickets kiss'?
The information highway's jammed with lifted hubs from those who are trying to thrive
But they're on the run from our content checker and there's no place left to hide
Together TrendyHubGirl34 we'll run Google analytics
I need my Adsense fix, yeah I can't quit it, hey look there's some hits
from Kenya and the Isle of Man
Someday girl I don't know when, we're gonna get to that place
Where we really want to go and there we'll be ranked high in Google, number one
Because tramps like us, baby we were born to hub.