A Lensography on This Lensmaster's Squidoo Hobby

If you had told me two years ago, I was going to be spending my time writing 'lenses' and sharing my thoughts with the world as a hobby...well...I would have said you were downright crazy. Yet here I am and I find myself loving every moment. This is a lensography on the unique journey I underwent to find squidoo as such a wonderful hobby. In this lens you will get to know a little something about the 'old' and new 'me.' Where all my inspiration comes from, why, and how to start turning your squidoo time into a personal hobby!

I love listening to music while I write. Listening to songs helps me to relax and write. If you want to experience what I was listening to as this lens flowed here are some of the songs. They are not all in English and some do not fit with the others at all but my writing is the same way. Always a mix of my thoughts thrown together with some random humor here and there.

I started on squidoo to make money. Once the hard truth of my illness hit me I knew I needed at least some income. So I began searching the web for the best way to do it without leaving my home. I came across squidoo in a forum where people were praising it and decided to try it out. When it came to making money I was a squidoo failure but writing on here became a mental success. Being sick has changed me and squidoo has helped make that journey possible. I owe a lot to the people on squidoo and that is worth more than any royalty payout.

This picture is from before I was sick. In itt I offer a non-alcoholic toast to all of you who have helped me on my journey here on squidoo!

I thought my life was going perfectly before becoming chronically ill. My roommates would say they never saw me because I was always busy. I planned out every moment of my life and was ridiculously happy. The future was bright and even the stresses of daily life only added to the excitement of what was to come. I dedicated myself to my future plans. My friends, long-time boyfriend, and family were there but always secondary to my goals. I never came home because there wasn't time and I canceled on people if it conflicted with 'more important' things. Looking back I can see there was an emptiness in my life I was always trying to fill. I believe in God and pray every night but He was always a spectacle never something to rely on.

Writing on squidoo would never have crossed my mind. I simply did not have time and I was not the type to share my life. Although I have the ability to talk to anyone, talk A LOT, and many people spoke with me I never truly shared anything personal. People find me easy to share life's troubles with but I never gave them the same courtesy. Even when I noticed signs of my health slipping I hid the problem and refused to open up. I had friends but most knew very little about who I actually was as a person.

This is picture is a from my freshmen year in college. The tan was fake but the smile most definitely was not. I had no idea life would take me so far from the person I once was.

I am still amazed at how quickly all the once 'important' things in life slipped by. When I lay there unable to make it to the bathroom alone my past worries seemed to float away. Keeping up in my classes, working on my research project, and training new people seemed to exist in another life. The only place was the now and the rest might as well have been in another solar system.

I started to see what had been in front of me all along. How important my relationship with God was, the love of my family, long-time boy friend, and my friends became clear. They were what really matter in this life. None of the hard work and dreams of the past would hold my hand in the ICU or push me in my wheelchair. Learning to live again brought me to look into myself and face the truth of the emptiness. Only then was I finally able to fill it with what was missing. Months passed but I became complete and with the completeness came the courage to share my journey.

I started on squidoo for the royalties but failed miserably because I find myself sharing a journey and not writing on products. Life had become a precious gift and I wanted others to find what took me such a long and miserable time to experience. Writing on squidoo was not for the world but for friends and family. By writing the words I could share what I kept hidden away for so long. The complete person I am today is more open then I could ever have imagined.

When I wrote I did it for friends and family and never with the faintest idea of other people finding it interesting. I have never seen myself as brave or having a strong outlook on life so I was amazed at the response when I was chosen for Lens of the Day. That December morning I was unable to get out of bed and feeling a tad down (I always do at Christmas) and suddenly I found an embarrassing wheelchair picture of me on the front page. My siblings were both so proud and I was so happy to have been lying in bed. If I had not been, I literally would have keeled over. I had a mini keel-over in my bed but it was fine since the hardest thing my head hit was a pillow.

People on squidoo have called me 'brave' and an inspiration. I have difficulty seeing myself in such a way. To be honest, I hate losing and letting this sickness make me depressed would let it win. There's no way possible I could ever live with myself if that happened! On bad days I do sometimes go back and read the comments left. Hearing other people's stories makes me realize how lucky we are to be alive and how blessed we have been to understand what most people never will. We see life in a kaleidoscope of colors instead of the monochrome it once was. Even if my writing only reaches one person and my book helps a total of one then I will see myself as a success. I will toast whoever that person is with a lemon-drop martini and thank God for letting me to be there for them.

Squidoo has truly become my hobby. Almost every day I find myself logging in and I always have some idea or another for a lens. I am trying my hardest to create lenses with products so I can make royalties and one day they will be enough so I can get married. I do not want to have to be taken care of forever with no income. Still, it's hard for me because I love writing on life and finally having the courage to share who I am.

The picture is of my boyfriend and me celebrating our second anniversary. He has been there through hospital nights, held my hand when I cried from the pain, and told me I was beautiful even when I could not stand to look in the mirror. Being sick has made me realize how lucky I am to have someone so wonderful. If I had not become sick and gotten into my graduate school of choice, I do not know if our relationship would be half of what it is today. Following my dreams was always more important than anything else and now I see there is no point in dreams if you do not have someone to share them.

One other note, I am also saving up royalties so we can finally take a trip together. We have yet to decide but I would love to go some place warm where we can sit on a beach and just stare at the ocean. No doctors, no hospitals, and no worries just the two of us living the way life should be.

Do you consider Squidoo a hobby of yours?

I grew up hearing I was a great writer, got a job in medical freelance for my writing skills, and have been told I write very good lenses. So what is the secret to making squidoo such a good writing hobby? It's simple. I write with a passion for what I believe in.

Within a few sentences you can tell if a person's writing is forced. There is something missing and it leaves you feeling a bit empty. I like reading medical journals because (although many do not realize it) the people are writing with a serious passion for what they have done or are doing. I see it the same way on squidoo. Great writing begins with great passion!

People can say, I don't have any passions or something I feel strongly about. Such a statement makes me laugh because it is so untrue. You do not have to feel a burning passion but everyone has a passion for something. Just sit on the couch and watch tv? Well, then you obviously have a passion for television and your couch if you practically live there. Hate life? Then use your passion to share what you hate about it. To be honest, it really does not matter what your passion is as long as you share it.

I don't see squidoo as a lens popularity contest. You either read a lens or you do not. I will not compromise my writing because it isn't what is popular at the moment. So your passion is reading Greek poetry? It's not for everyone and that is perfectly fine. Just the act of writing is what leads to more writing. Share your passion and be proud of it. Eventually lenses will flow on just about anything. The process takes time and dedication (at least it did for me) but if you do not give up it is completely worth it.

I have and will always have a passion for biology. See my huge smile? That's me being passionate while doing histology!

Do you think Beethoven just sat down at a piano and everything flowed? No, it took time and practice. The same is with writing. Time, energy, and practice are what turns good writing into great writing. This is especially true if you are writing in another language. I think it's amazing you are doing something so brave and keep it up. The more you write (and the more you read) the more you learn and the better writer you will be.

If your grammar is terrible or your sentences awkward then put up your lens in the critique section and ask for help. People want to help and it will come if you ask for it. We are proud you are trying and it's an honor to help you on your journey. So do not give up. Writing is a personal process and never easy but knowing people are rooting for you is a huge help.

If you have not had courses on writing, are confused about the whole verb noun thing, or just plain lost then consider buying a book to help you on your journey. There are times when you simply need a guide to show you the way and these books can be that guide.