Nope. It's actually the language of the story that makes it what it is. It's poetical, rhymic, etc. It manages to tell a rather sexual story without being crude, rude, vulgar, pornographic, or anything else. The language is fun, lighthearted, and dances.
Maybe it's just me, but I didn't think it was that great of a story line. Your writing was fine, and it would be a great way of teaching kids many of the various words for euphemistically describing genitalia.
No, I wasn't. I sincerely wanted to know if the piece was suitable for hubpages. It's not crude or rude. It has not vulgar language. The piece is written in a poetic style with a certain rhythm. Of course, I fully understand it's not to everybody's taste. It was supposed to be a fun piece. Rochelle, truly, I don't need flattery for my writing. The topic is, I suppose, closed. I wanted to know if it was suitable. I got sent a rather stern letter saying it wasn't, and if I didn't change it or take it down, I would be banned from hubpages. I was simply explaining to Robert Sacci why I wouldn't change the piece to suit hp standards. The bottom line is that the entire piece is taken from a Zulu myth about a creature who sleeps with woman at night. I was supported by documentary evidence. So, no, I couldn't change either the story, and if I changed the language, well, the entire piece depended on the language. Anyway, the case is closed. Hubpages has spoken, and I have deleted the piece.
I have a hub that currently gets an amount of Google views per day I'm not allowed to specify, but which is certainly much more than most of my hubs that have already been moved were getting on Hubpages proper....